The fabulous Deadly Bunny finally brings you a new chapter and it's longer than ever! Not so action packed though, I'm afraid. It was a real monster to write too, I'll tell you. Anyway, as always, enjoy! And leave a review, if you'd be so kind.
The week that followed Draco's masked ball passed very differently for Hermione and Ginny.
The first one rushed back to her room during every possible break during class to make sure her potion was proceeding as it should be.
When she had been getting ready for bed the first day she had started the quest for lost memories, she found a mark on the base of her neck that she had completely overlooked in the morning. The implications of said hickey left her head spinning and Hermione subjected herself to some serious introspection. It wasn't the first time that she had entertained the thought of possibly not being heterosexual, but she was seriously worried about what that would mean for her were it true.
Her parents were quite open-minded and the brunette grew up in an environment that was very accepting of people who somehow deviated from society's perception of normal. The wizarding world in general, however, took a very different standpoint when it came to homosexuality. If she truly were gay, she'd have to hide that fact very well as to not be ostracized.
For that reason the image of Malfoy and Zabini making out in plain sight refused to leave her mind. Two boys from very influential and notoriously traditional wizarding families, not only gay but also apparently completely at ease with that fact. Obviously, the crowd at the party had been very elite, but there were still around ten people or so besides them in attending. Were all of them okay with the two making out as well? Was this some kind of upper class thing, like how it had been completely acceptable for Ancient Greek aristocrats to have a young boy on the side to have fun with when they were bored with their wife?
The week and all the things she thought about in its duration left Hermione extremely frustrated. These were questions that she couldn't answer by reading books, no matter how much time she devoted to said activity, since these things would obviously not be documented anywhere. The old Wizarding families were intensely private and even mentions of scandalous things such as incest were extremely hard to find, no matter that everyone knew it had gone on in the not-so-distant past.
The only way she could possibly confirm or condemn her theories was to get an insider's account of goings-on in such a family, but asking any of the few members of the old families she knew was completely out of the question. She'd just have to find a different way.
Meanwhile, Ginevra's week passed quite differently. The first day, she managed to completely ignore the nagging fears, concerns and glaringly obvious questions left in the wake of Draco's party, an activity she was very good at and used to do every time she was faced with something uncomfortable. She also managed to dodge her three Slytherin friends for the duration of the entire weekend, attending meals at odd hours and escaping out into the cold autumn weather whenever possible, sometimes just strolling the grounds, other times honing her skills on the empty Quidditch pitch since none of the houses had assembled a team as of yet.
Monday came all too soon, though, and having to conform to a schedule just like everyone else, Ginny sat down next to the Silver Trio at breakfast. They chatted as if everything was completely normal, and for the first time, the redhead entertained the thought that to them, it just might be.
It had been her first gathering of the sort, but they had probably attended tens of them. What if this was what every such party more or less looked like? The young Weasley was torn between being appalled and enticed by the thought.
They parted ways to attend their separate classes without the evening ever coming up in the conversation and Ginny spent the rest of her day feeling much more at ease, since it had obviously not been a big deal to them, certainly not something to interrogate her about. She dismissed the nagging inner voice telling her she'd have to face the consequences sooner or later.
After dinner, Draco and Blaise excused themselves, apparently having some urgent matters to attend to, making Ginny blush and her mind run wild with possibilities now that she knew the exact nature of the boys' relationship. She was so caught up in her thoughts, in fact, that she followed Pansy on autopilot, not really paying attention till the girl waved a hand before her eyes, laughing at her complete absence of mind.
"Sorry, I was caught up in my thoughts," she calmly replied. Only then did she notice that they had arrived to the Slytherin common room, with one very confusing detail: it was completely empty. "Umm, Pansy? Where are all the students?" she gestured around the deserted room while plopping down into one of the armchairs by the fire. The dark-haired girl took residence in the one on her left, giggling and eyes sparkling with mirth as she took in the former Gryffindor. "You really did completely zone out, didn't you? How could you not notice all the stairs? We're in the Room of Requirement, you adorable kitten. I figured we'd want some privacy for this conversation."
Ginny looked around the room, time and again amazed by its abilities; it was a perfect replica of their common room eight floors below. Shaking her head at her own ability to tune out everything, she now registered the other thing her classmate had said. "What conversation, Pansy?" she tried to play dumb, hoping against all hope that this wasn't exactly what she thought it was. The 'do I seem that stupid' look that the girl levelled her with was enough to confirm all suspicions.
"Fine, okay," the redhead gave in, knowing resistance was futile and that she actually needed to deal with this anyway. That it would only be her and Pansy put her more at ease too. She trusted the girl quite a bit more than she did the boys and it made her feel much more relaxed. She wasn't going to make it easy on her though.
"Well?! How was it?" A huge grin bloomed on her friend's face, a rare occurrence that made her look even more beautiful than she usually was, momentarily surprising Ginny. "How was what?" she asked, now genuinely confused, to which her companion replied with an incredulous look. "Oh come on! I saw you making out with Granger and then you two disappeared into her room! Don't tell me that you didn't get it on? Oh, and by the way, I give you points for acting, kitten. I would never have guessed you swung that way, even though my sixth sense has yet to be wrong."
Shocked into stillness, the redhead just sat there, processing all that had just been said. To her complete surprise, the want to gush about the night's events to a friendly ear was the first thing that bubbled up from the sea of confusion that was Ginny's thoughts. Cancelling out all else for the moment, she let it wash over her and a tentative smile took over her face, matching the eager one on her dark-haired companion.
"Yeah, we did, we totally did get it on!" she finally let burst out, and as the words left her, she felt surprisingly relieved. "And it was sooo amazing, too! I mean, yeah, I don't remember all the details, I drank a lot that evening, but damn! That girl sure knows her stuff!"
In reply to her enthusiastic outburst Pansy chuckled and regarded her with blatant curiosity. "How about you elaborate on the subject of the stuff that she knows?" she winked and settled deeper into the cosy armchair. Ginny proceeded to recount the night's events to the older girl who nodded and replied at all the right times, spurring the redhead on until she had nothing more to say.
"Frankly, I'm surprised. I always thought of Granger as a total prude," Pansy grinned and uncrossed her legs. "But it seems like she did a pretty good job. Where do you think she got the knowledge from?" At that, Ginny giggled and brushed a few stray hairs behind her ear. "Honestly? She probably read about it and memorised everything." The dark-haired girl rolled her eyes and then fixed her friend with a slightly less humorous look. "So, when did you first start thinking about the possibility of liking girls?"
All traces of a smile disappeared from her face and she let out a deep sigh. "After Friday. It never even crossed my mind before that… But since Hermione obviously didn't rape me, there was mutual interest in the thing. And honestly, thinking back, there might have been some little clues all along, you know… Noticing some things other girls never did, having strange thoughts pop up in my mind when I was looking at a friend, having reactions to things girls said and did and explaining them away to myself as coincidences.."
She leaned forward onto her knees and stared off into the crackling fire, her eyes in a faraway place. "I guess I never really let the possibility cross my mind. Remember how I reacted when you told me Draco was gay? Or even later, when I made the connection between him and Blaise…" Pansy merely nodded, letting her know she should continue. "Well, that was because it made me scared, made me face the fact that this wasn't some abhorrent, abnormal thing, that people who like their own gender are, in all actuality, just like us."
Ginny pulled her feet up onto the armchair, hugging them like that would give her some shelter from the harsh truths of the world. "What shocked me even more, though, was how okay all three of you are with this. I grew up believing my family was very loving and accepting, but they are anything but lenient toward homosexuality. It scares me to think how they would react if I were to actually come out to them… Not that I'm saying I'm gay or anything…" A hot blush tinted her cheeks and her eyes darted up to her friend, almost begging her to tell her she was right.
Pansy contemplated the distressed redhead a few moments more before deciding on her course of action. "This isn't a one or the other situation, you know, Ginny. You can like boys and girls, you can like ones more than the others, you can actually like boys in general but have a few exceptions where girls attract you too… It's a whole spectrum of possibilities, not either gay or straight." She smiled understandingly and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Most of all, though, don't take this all so seriously! It's not life or death, and besides, you've just started exploring this. Give yourself time to figure out who you are and who you want to shag. No one is pressing you to decide in this very moment."
Eyes wide open, Ginny was staring at her friend in a completely new light. She knew the joking, teasing, sarcastic side of Pansy, but this calm wisdom was something she had not seen from her before. The wonder must have been evident in her eyes because the older girl snickered.
"It's easy to preach once you've gone through it, you know," she winked and caused the redhead to drop her mouth open as well. "The mentally retarded look doesn't really suit you," Pansy closed her mouth with a finger on her chin and pressed a cute kiss on her nose before pulling her to her feet. "Don't look so shocked, kitten, it's really quite unbecoming," she teased once more, exiting the Room of Requirement with a shaken redhead in tow.
The rest of the week was spent processing all the moving things that had happened in such a short span of time, slowly coming to terms with her friends' complete acceptance and trying to take Pansy's advice to not take it all so seriously. Surprisingly, she wasn't even doing so bad and when Friday finally came, Quidditch try-outs took everything off her mind as she geared up and headed out into the cold morning air.