I hope you had a wonderful new year's. I've been busy writing :) This chapter ran a little long, I'd promised you Rollaro so I didn't want to rob you of that but I did warn you. There's a slight smut warning for the end of this chapter, followed by a major pulled-heartstring-warning ;)
This chapter picks up a little before the last one ended, just so you'll know what really went on between Amanda & her former captain in the bunks.
I'd love to hear what thoughts & feelings this chapter evoke amongst you. Wish you a great start of 2015, you have surely made my new year start happily & I'm very grateful for that. XO
Chapter 4
"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies." ~ Oliver Goldsmith
Amanda almost started to get used to feeling tense around her own squad room but chatting with Sam and the others made her feel even more so and she struggled to not just bend over and puke in her bin. She knew sergeant Alan Winn, he worked Vice in Atlanta when she did a brief tour there. He was one of the good ones, skilled, humble, he reminded her a bit of Munch. She didn't know the detective but he seemed to be an okay guy. Right now though this whole situation felt threatening and it took everything for her to keep up a straight face.
The situation didn't get any better as Sam pretended to have a look at the signed baseball at her desk and then leaned over and silently asked if he could talk to her in private. She felt like saying no but found herself giving him a quick nod and then took him down the hall to the bunks. She felt a little uncomfortable being alone with him and hugged herself slightly just to be able to do something with her arms.
"Does your serge know?" he asked right after the door was closed behind them.
"Know?" Amanda questioned shaking her head slightly.
"About what happened in Atlanta? Why you transferred?"
"I-I dunno… what?" Amanda was confused.
Sam walked up to her and she couldn't help but back up slightly. He stopped the moment he noticed.
"She cornered me just now and asked me about your transfer," he let her know.
"What did you say?" she asked a bit nervously.
"Well nothing, I wanted to talk to you first," Sam said.
"Don't tell her anything Sam, please," she begged.
"But…," he sounded and looked a little indecisive, "I mean we know what Patton is, well we didn't know he could go this far right?"
He gave her a look and she tried to keep as a straight face as possible.
"But we knew he could bully and intimidate," Sam went on, "As for Taymor I dunno," he shook his head, letting his hand run through his hair, "I mean it was rather public knowledge she had something going with Patton a few months ago and all this might turn out to be nothing. But if it's not it could probably help her if you tell them how he attacked you."
"No Sam," Amanda said shaking her head, hugging herself even tighter, "I don't want to go through that again. You know the looks I got down there, I got enough trouble up here already I don't need that as well. I don't want to have to transfer again, please Sam," she was back to begging again.
"But if this is a pattern of his Amanda. He doesn't take no for an answer right? If we could stop him, shouldn't we?"
Sam kept watching her for a bit. He could tell she was uncomfortable and a part of him just wanted to hug her and tell her things would be fine. He wanted to tell her he would do whatever she asked of him and they could run away from here right now and never turn back.
"Amanda," he whispered and reached out his hand. She pulled away though, letting her one arm go and just hugged her one arm closer to herself.
"Your serge knows something Amanda, wouldn't it be better to tell her?"
"If Patton did… that to her my serge will get him. She doesn't need me and you can't tell her okay. Please don't tell her Sam," Amanda pleaded with her eyes.
Sam's hand was lingering in the air between them again, he wanted desperately to touch her but could tell how guarded she was, always so guarded.
"Amanda I would never…," he didn't get further as Liv burst through the door. He immediately backed off Amanda, getting his hand on his jacket and straightened it slightly.
"What's going on in here?" Liv asked, her voice low and grim.
"We… we were just talking," Sam answered as soon as he managed to get a word out.
"Rollins?" Liv asked. Amanda nodded as best she could and tried to look at Liv but was unable to.
"Are you sure?" Liv asked, her tone very domineering.
"Yeah," Amanda answered as she realized Liv wouldn't give in until she said something, "we were just talking."
"You're up captain," Liv said piercing her eyes in Sam, "you're mine."
Sam straightened up and started towards the door. Liv stepped aside only as he was right by her and he didn't challenge the fierce look she gave him. She watched him walk down the corridor and when he was far enough away she turned back around towards Amanda. She'd finally let her elbow go and awkwardly put her hands down in her back pockets.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Liv asked.
"Yeah," Amanda said and did her best to meet Liv's eyes.
"Did he threaten you?"
Amanda shook her head immediately.
"No, no we just talked," Amanda answered, "really."
Liv stuck around for a bit and studied her but then she finally walked out and followed Sam down the hall. Amanda dared to let out the breath she'd been holding and once the air was out of her lungs the pain spread through her body. She turned around and gripped the nearest locker. This was getting too much. She wasn't sure how long she could keep this act up. She had to go sit down on the nearest bunk.
Down the hall Sam had taken a seat opposite Liv and Carisi, he could tell on Liv's face she would probably come true to her word. She was after him but he'd made a promise to Amanda and he'd failed her enough already. They got through the first day of the conference, the dinner and the bar scene rather quickly. Sam's statement didn't differ much from their previous interview subject. Since he knew both Patton and Taymor previously though it got more interesting when he was asked to tell them about what he knew of their previous history.
"Look I don't want to trash talk anyone but it was rather common knowledge the two had a… well a fling of sort," Sam said and obviously felt awkward for bringing it up.
"A fling? Tell us more," Liv said.
She'd been running this interview which Carisi found a bit weird since she'd been really distracted during the previous one and left most of the work to him.
"There were rumors about them two hooking up," Sam said scratching his head a little.
"Rumors? So you actually don't know," Liv said unimpressed.
"They'd been seen around town okay, so not just rumors."
"Who saw them?" Liv asked but Sam just gave her an averse glare. Liv felt as though she might be coming on too strong but then Sam took a deep breath as he leaned back on his chair.
"Can we go off record?" he asked looking straight at Liv. She raised her brows at him.
"I'll give you your statement but let's go off the record for a while," he said with a sigh.
Liv wasn't sure she could trust him but after keeping her eyes on him for a few beats she turned to Carisi and gave him the nod that meant turn off the recorder.
"So we're off the record," Liv said dropping her pen and clutching her hands on the table. Sam copied her pose and fixed his eyes on her.
"Patton's got a reputation to taking a liking to the ladies," Sam said straight up.
"Does he have a type?" Liv asked and Sam nodded.
"The young blonde ones," he declared without any doubt, "He's married though, to a matriarch but she got the liking for the bottle. He doesn't really let her out in public. He's a charmer, talks a lot but mostly leaves it at that. At least that's what most folks thinks."
"But you know differently," Liv stated more than asked. Sam cleared his throat.
"I might have a few names for you but you didn't get them from me okay?"
"Okay," Liv said. She still didn't like or trust him but he was starting to make a slight improvement in her eyes.
"You might have a harder time with the ones still on the force but you should talk to Angela Morris, she left the APD back in…," he had to think about it, "2004. She was a friend but I'm not sure what she does today, if she's even still in Atlanta but she had a kid, Charlie, and her mom's name is Rita Morris. Our mom's are friends, the mother still lives around there."
Liv was writing the names down on her pad.
"And what are we talking about here?" she asked looking up from her note pad, "Are we talking rape or sexual assault."
"Assault," Sam said quickly, "As far as I know Patton has never raped anyone. Like I said, he's a charmer, he knows how to smooth talk and he knows how to... suppress. I talked to Angela, her kid had a lung decease, I can't remember the name of it, Patton preyed on her when the kid was in the hospital. He got… handsy when she turned down his proposals."
"What kind of proposals," Liv asked. Sam sighed.
"I don't really know, indecent ones I guess. She didn't really want to tell me and this was one tough cookie, I'd never seen her like that."
"Did she report it?" Liv asked and Sam nodded.
"She did but you won't find the report," he added though.
When Liv asked he told her the report had vanished and Angela decided to leave the force after a few months when the glares and pestering from the rest of the station got too much for her. Sam gave them another few names. Two were civilians, women who'd walked in to the station claiming harassment but as far as Sam knew nothing had come out of the charges. He had five other names within the department. One he suspected something happened to as she left the force after being tormented publically by Patton for a couple of months, he was only lieutenant back then and he didn't have more than her name. Three other females had left the station house, one worked department of corrections now, the second one state patrol and the third one was a beat cop in zone 4. The last one was still at the station but working homicide since a couple of years.
Once Liv had the eight names written down on her pad and Sam had stopped talking she looked at him seriously.
"Do you want to add another name to this list?" she asked. Sam looked at her for a few long seconds but then broke their gaze as he folded down his eyes.
"That's all I got," he said and leaned back on his chair. Liv drew a straight line underneath the last name on the list, contemplating whether to push him or not. Carisi squirmed a little in his chair next to her though and she decided to leave it. For now. She signaled to Carisi to turn the recorder back on.
"So Taymor, you don't think she's been raped?" she asked instead. Sam shrugged.
"She doesn't strike me as a person who would cry rape or lie about it so if she says that's what happened I think you have to investigate," he answered rather casually.
"But if chief Patton claims it was consensual would you be inclined to believe him over her?"
"As far as I know Patton has never lied either so, again, I guess you would have to investigate."
"If I told you we found Ketamine in her blood, would that change anything?" Liv asked.
"Ketamine?" Sam repeated stunned, "Taymor was drugged?"
"Yes."
Sam seemed lost in thought for a few seconds.
"Well like I told you she didn't seem intoxicated at all as she left the hotel bar. I know Ketamine takes effect in like what, 10 minutes?, so it could not have happened at dinner and the waiter brought us drinks. She sat on the other end from Patton, if anyone spiked her drink then it would've been me," Sam said with a chuckle. Liv gave him a look.
"I was never in her room," Sam said when he realized his mistake.
"We know, we have the surveillance tapes," Liv said letting him off the hook instantly.
"So Patton was in her room?" Sam asked. Liv left him hanging for a while but then nodded. Sam sighed loudly.
"Are you charging him?" he asked. Again Liv let him wait for a while.
"Not just yet, we're investigating for the time being but it doesn't look good for your boss I got to tell you," Liv said and tried to hide the gloat from her tone. She wanted nothing else than bust this creep.
"Will you keep yourself available if we need to talk to you again captain?" Liv asked as she wasn't sure what else to ask right now and she needed to get through the interviews so she'd be ready for Taymor right after lunch.
"I might have to travel back, we're running leader thin back home, but I'll be back if or when you need me sergeant," Sam said and rose to his feet as Liv did the same. Liv walked after him to the door but before he opened it he turned towards her. Liv caught him shooting a glance to make sure Carisi had turned the recorder off.
"You are keeping Taymor here right?" he asked discreetly.
"You mean we shouldn't send her back to Atlanta? Why?"
"Look I like my hometown but keep her here okay?"
Liv glared at him but then nodded.
"I'm planning on it," she said as they walked out.
Amanda was back at her desk, both her and Fin deep in work. Dodds and Nick seemed to have brought the lieutenant in which left only the Atlanta detective left to question. He was planted at Carisi's desk reading a newspaper.
"I'm up?" the detective said getting up on his feet.
"I'm just going to grab a coffee, you want one?" Liv said. The detective shook his head.
"I'm fine ma'am," he said. Liv shot him a smile before she walked over to the coffee pot. Carisi had followed her which she hadn't noticed and she jumped slightly as he breathed over her shoulder.
"Do you and that captain have history or something?" he asked.
"What?" Liv asked a bit offended.
"I just thought you'd never met him before but you just seemed…," Carisi realized he might be making coming off offensive but he'd just felt totally puzzled during that last interview, like his sergeant had some agenda against the captain.
"What was that about another name? Do you know something?" he asked.
Liv had felt a bit offended but it eased once she looked at him and only saw that zealous and curious face of her newest detective.
"I just think he might know more than he's letting up," Liv said and looked over Carisi's shoulder at the captain who'd wandered up to Rollins desk again and was chatting with her and Fin.
"Yeah, I felt it too. Can't be easy being a dame down there, no wonder Rollins' keeping a tight lip," Carisi said looking her way. His face changed a little as it dawned on him she was blonde. Liv didn't give him time to think more about it though as she told him it was time to head back in.
Liv and Carisi finished their third interview of the day some time after Dodds and Nick had finished their second. Dodds were waiting impatiently for them in Liv's office once they said thanks to the detective and sent him away along with the captain and sergeant. Nick tagged along back inside her office, he'd left Dodds alone as the man got restless and frankly a bit stupid. He clearly didn't handle stress well.
Dodds started the briefing and he declared that they had nothing that indicated Patton was a rapist. Dodds could tell on Liv's face though that she didn't agree.
"What?" he asked impatiently, not in the mood to play any guessing games.
"We got something, off the record though," Liv said sitting down behind her desk.
"Off the record? Why? From whom?" Dodds asked aggressively, leaning down on her desk.
"It came up, no need for names when it's off the records right?" Liv said playing it cool, "According to this person though, Patton is quite a sweet talker, preys on women."
"Young blonde ones," Carisi chipped in. Dodds ignored him though but Nick shot him a look, his brows frowning as his thoughts immediately went to their blonde partner out in the squad room.
"I got a few names we should talk to, I want to go down there," Liv said.
"I need you here Benson," Dodds said pushing himself off her desk so he could cross his arms across his chest as he started pacing the room.
"All we have so far is Taymor," he thought out loud, "If she wants to retract, then it can all end here."
"Sir," Liv said getting on her feet, "You can't be serious..."
Dodds gave her a glare.
"Leave us," Dodds said. He was clearly aiming it at Nick and Carisi even though he looked at Liv.
"But…" Nick tried but quiet down as Liv gave him a look. Carisi was already moving towards the door but Liv had to cock her head towards the door at Nick to get him to move.
"And close the door," Dodds said still not looking at anyone but Liv.
Nick growled silently but did as he was told.
"What's up?" Fin asked, sensing something was going on as Nick and Carisi walked out of Liv's office.
"Dodds wants to shut the case down," Carisi said, again not able to hide a slight excitement on his tone. He didn't want to let Patton go but he thought the whole political agenda a bit fascinating. He wouldn't be the least surprised if this case just went away, he'd seen it happen before with higher ranks accused of various mishaps.
"More like cover it up," Nick grunted as he pulled himself from Liv's door. He didn't like leaving her alone in there.
"What have we done to deserve him," Fin mumbled.
"Would you have preferred Patton?" Carisi joked but quiet down as his eyes landed on Amanda. Nick had given him a glare but it mellowed as he followed Carisi's eyes over at Amanda. Carisi's young blonde ones, echoed in his head.
"Liv will sort him out," Fin said, "No way she's letting him bury this one."
He too shot Amanda a look but she kept her head down. Nick walked over to this desk. The four detectives stayed quiet, every now and then someone glanced inside Liv's office. The sergeant and deputy chief seemed to have a rather calm conversation though, no arms waving in the air or loud voices reaching through the glass. It didn't take long until Dodds walked out and headed straight for the gate without giving anyone a look. Liv stayed seated for a while but then walked out to them. Everyone but Amanda stared at her as she placed herself by Fin's desk.
"It's still an open investigation," she declared and the four detectives all pulled a deep breath. Three were of relief while the fourth was of slight discontent.
"Are you going to Atlanta? Can I come with?" Nick asked.
Amanda held her breath again, not able to look up at Liv as she was afraid she would see the panic in her eyes. Liv shook her head.
"No trip to Atlanta just yet," Liv informed him.
"Amaro, Carisi, can you head down to the hotel, talk to the staff that worked Saturday night, talk to restaurant staff and bartender too if you can," Liv said and the two detectives nodded immediately getting on their feet.
"I'm expecting Taymor to be in, well soon," she said looking at her wrist watch, "but if she's a no-show I would appreciate you bringing her in."
"Of course sergeant," Carisi said as he moved towards the gate. Nick stayed put a little though and Liv had to give him a signal it was okay to leave. He shot Amanda one last look before he met up with Carisi who was waiting for him by the gate.
Liv stood quiet by Rollins and Fin's desk for a while. She met Fin's eyes before both sets wandered over at Amanda. She was looking at a paper at her desk, lifting it slightly to sell the lie she was actually paying what was written on it attention.
"Anything on the new year's case?" Liv asked and forced Amanda to look up. She shrugged.
"We keep coming up empty," Fin answered in Amanda's place, "the most likely suspect was at his parent's place and we've confirmed he was at the top floor as the suspect ran. He answered his phone."
Liv nodded.
"We have a few left to get a hold off though, we were thinking of heading out but waited for you to see if it's okay?" Fin asked.
Liv looked over at Amanda, her head was down again. Liv gave Fin a nod and then walked back in to her office. She would have to deal with Taymor first. Dodds looked ready to bury the case if Taymor didn't cooperate, Liv had convinced him otherwise for the time being though but she was a bit worried this would never reach trial.
Amanda felt relieved to be able to head out on the streets. They gathered what they needed, printed out some arrest warrants and mug shots they'd found on some of the people they would try and track down. Fin said he needed the John and Amanda realized that wasn't such a dumb idea and headed down the corridor herself. She heard someone enter as she sat in her stall, the water getting turned on outside. Amanda thought nothing much of it and finished her business. She made sure her clothes were in order before she stepped out, everything just felt uncomfortable these days and her skin just felt sensitive to different materials. She walked up to the washbowl and felt that someone was watching her as she washed her hands.
"You're Amanda right?" the young woman two bowls down said as Amanda looked up. Amanda recognized her. It was Reese Taymor.
"I've seen your photo in captain Reynolds office. With a trophy," Taymor explained when Amanda just kept staring at her.
"And… Patton has one of you as well, in his office," Taymor looked sadder as she mentioned Patton's name.
"Yeah, yeah I'm Amanda," she managed to say finally and reached for some paper towels.
"Softball," Amanda said when the silent got to her and after she'd tossed the used towels in the bin.
"What?" Taymor asked.
"The trophy," Amanda said and tried to smile, "we won the summer league, in 09 I believe it was."
"Oh," Taymor said and managed to smile again.
"Do you play?" Amanda asked. It seemed like a stupid question the moment it was out there but Taymor didn't seem to think so, she chuckled slightly.
"Oh no, you don't want to put a bat in my hands," she said shaking her head. Amanda let out a chuckle. Once it died out though the bathroom went quiet again. Amanda didn't know what to say and Taymor kept throwing her glances. Amanda noticed the bruise around one of her wrists and she found herself unable to stop staring at it. That was until Taymor noticed and tried to pull down her sleeve.
"I'm sorry," Amanda whispered ashamed for being so insensitive. Taymor tried to smile at her but it faded quickly.
"I was so stupid," Taymor whispered, "I mean I've done a lot of stupid things but sleeping with Patton is surely the most stupid one." Taymor gnawed at her lower lip for a while, her hands gripping the bowl hard.
"You know what it's like right? I mean how they are," Taymor said looking at Amanda with tear-filled eyes, "You really prove their point by sleeping with your superior. That was so stupid."
Amanda couldn't take it and approached her carefully, reaching up to put a hand on her shoulder once she knew it wouldn't scare the woman.
"But I broke it off, I promise I did," Taymor whispered and Amanda squeezed her shoulder. A tear rolled down her cheek and Amanda couldn't stop herself as she reached up to wipe it away.
"I believe you," Amanda comforted.
"I didn't want him there, I told him to leave but you know how he is…" Taymor sobbed as another tear rolled down her cheek and Amanda repeated her previous gesture.
"I know, he doesn't take no for an answer," Amanda whispered and focused her eyes on her finger over Taymor's cheek as she tried to brush away more tears.
Taymor finally broke down though and she fell in to Amanda's arms. Amanda felt a little overwhelmed but managed to put her arms around the younger detective.
"It's going to be okay," Amanda whispered as she awkwardly stroke Taymor's back. As she listened to Taymor's sobs she felt it harder and harder to keep it together but she was saved by Liv opening the bathroom door. Amanda pulled herself away from Taymor and the younger woman also straighten herself up, trying to wipe her face from the tears.
"Here you are," Liv said, a smile and that caring tone, "I was getting worried about you."
Amanda reached for a paper towel for her that she gave to Taymor to help her out.
"Are you ready to get started?" Liv said.
"Are you sitting in?" Taymor asked Amanda. Amanda looked a little at a loss and faced Liv.
"Amanda might be called as a witness," Liv explained, her eyes darting back and forth between the two blondes, "so I think it would be best if she sits out okay? But she's here to talk to, to lean on if you need to. Right Amanda?"
Amanda nodded and Taymor managed to flash a slight smile.
"C'mon, let's get this over with," Liv said encouraging and held up the door for Taymor. Amanda stayed planted but Liv waited by the door until she got moving too. Amanda felt Liv's caring hand brush up over the back of her arm but it felt anything but soft, it stung her and she couldn't wait to get away from it.
As Fin and Amanda headed out to interview suspects in the new year's case, Amanda struggling to stay focused on the matter at hand though, Liv sat down with Taymor for what would be a hard statement to get through. It took some coaxing from Liv to get her talking, Taymor was clearly blaming herself for what had happened Saturday night. Liv learnt how Patton had sweet-talked her, charmed her and then after a night out with a few too many drinks talked his way in to her bedroom. She was determined though that he hadn't forced her. She knew it had been stupid but she had let it happen.
They'd continued their affair for three months and slept together for an estimated ten times. Nothing kinky had been going on but Patton did like her to be the subordinate party. He liked her to wear sexy underwear, told her to wear it underneath her outfit at work as he liked to throw her secret, desirous looks. She had plenty of those kind of garments but he'd bought her some new ones as well.
She'd broken it off right before summer as she realized it would not serve her well if anyone else found out she was sleeping with her superior. Patton had not seemed too upset about it but she felt that he maybe got a little meaner, cursing her out in front of others in a way he hadn't before. But she'd toughen herself up and fought through it. There had been some rumors around the station house, about her and Patton, but she'd tried to let them slide. Late last year he had made a few advances but she'd gently but determent turned him down and he'd seemed okay with it, perhaps getting a little too handsy before he stepped off but she'd never thought about reporting him. She did admit that maybe she felt reluctant to report him as she had slept with him and he'd sort of hinted he could hurt her advancement in the department if she didn't comply with him.
Taymor was very reluctant to talk about Saturday night, her memories of the night weren't that lucid which also made it harder for her to recollect. Liv pushed though and learnt Patton had arrived around 11 PM. She'd already gotten ready for bed and she'd tried to keep Patton out but he'd pushed as usual. He'd fixed them drinks while she got a robe on. Since she'd brushed her teeth already she'd declined the drink at first but then ended up sipping the drink after all. Patton usually didn't take no for an answer Taymor explained trying a smile that quickly faded.
She'd started to feel drowsy rather quickly, dropped the glass on the floor and then Patton had put her down on the bed. He'd removed her robe as she tried to fend him off. She'd tried to stop him from undressing her further but then he'd locked her hands above her head and when she still hadn't stopped struggling he'd squeezed her neck and yelled at her to lie still. She'd blanked out every now and then as Patton forced himself at her. She explained that even when he'd let her hands go it felt as though she had no control over them.
Liv explained how they'd found Ketamine in her blood and Taymor started to cry again. Liv did her best to console her, tried to ease the guilt Taymor felt but there was nothing she could say at that point that wouldn't make her blame herself for what happened that night at the hotel.
Once Taymor had left Liv called Dodds to fill him in. He was not happy, ordered her to swiftly write the statement and send it over to him. He would bring it to 1PP and leave it up to them how to proceed.
The next morning Liv walked in to her office to find a report from IAB on her desk. It was just a transcript, the full report having been sent to Dodds according to the docket. They'd searched Patton's home and his office. The item list was bleak. They'd confiscated some adult publications, Liv suspected it was a nice way of writing porn magazines. They'd also confiscated a laptop found in a trash bin outside the residence. It had withheld adult but not illegal material which Liv didn't find strange but she figured Patton would be pissed that Mrs Patton hadn't done a better job of getting rid of the laptop.
According to the content list the full report also consisted of phone records and e-mail correspondence but none of that was included in Liv's version. She was a little disappointed nothing more had been discovered but what little they had found only proved what type of predator Liv suspected Patton to be. She'd also got her hands on Patton's personal file and found some interesting bits and pieces in his childhood.
Liv had time to go through the incoming mail and messages. She spotted Nick and Carisi coming in and soon thereafter Fin. Amanda was missing but rushed in, looking a little jagged, about half an hour late. Liv wouldn't bring her tardiness up.
Nick and Carisi had been in to get the scoop of the day, Liv told them to just go on about their day as she hadn't heard from Dodds yet but appreciated them being available in case she needed them. Nick lingered just to make sure nothing new had come in and Liv told him about the bleak find in the house and office raid.
At 9:30 Liv's phone rang and it was Dodds. She could tell from his tone he was stressed and not in a good mood. He wanted her to meet him down at the courthouse, he apparently didn't have time to come to her. Barba would join them as the IPP had decided the case would proceed and would go to court if a settlement couldn't be agreed upon. Liv felt thrilled about the news, a little apprehensive they didn't have enough to convict Patton but still thrilled. Dodds on the other hand didn't sound as thrilled.
"I'll be right there," she said and added a 'sir' to humor him a little.
"And bring your detective," Dodds said before she was able to hung up.
"Which detective?" Liv asked.
"The blonde one," Dodds answered a bit annoyed.
"You mean detective Rollins," Liv said feeling offended for her and rather enraged but she controlled herself to be able to ask why he wanted her there.
"Just bring her," Dodds said and hung up. Liv felt a little uneasy but grabbed her phone and on the way out grabbed her jacket.
"Rollins," Liv said and got her to look up from her desk, "Dodds wants to see us down at the courthouse."
She tried to not say it too loud but of course both Nick and Carisi looked over, looking like they'd heard what Liv requested.
"What? Now? Why?" Amanda asked obviously a bit rattled. Liv nodded at her.
"I'm not really sure but it's about the case," she explained best she could.
"But we have the new year's case, we were going to head out," Amanda said looking over at Fin, "Can't you take Amaro?"
Amaro looked willing to go but Liv knew that wouldn't fly with Dodds.
"No I'd like you to come with me," Liv said to not have to tell her just yet that it was at Dodds request.
"Can you cover for her here?" Liv asked Nick and he of course nodded but he did look a little concerned.
"Ready?" Liv asked trying to smile as Amanda had turned to get her jacket of the wall but seemed to linger there for a while. Amanda didn't answer but just moved towards the gate.
"It's Dodds that want you there," Liv said as they reached the elevators.
"What…" Amanda breathed as she registered what Liv had just told her. She looked scared.
"Why?" she asked as they stepped in to the elevator.
"I honestly don't know but it's nothing to worry about, I'm sure it's nothing special, just that you have firsthand knowledge of Atlanta or something," Liv said reassuring even though she had a gnawing feeling in her gut too.
Amanda didn't look convinced but walked with Liv towards her car once they were downstairs. Liv tried to make light conversation in the car but Amanda was spaced out. Liv finally stated that she'd been late this morning just to get her attention. When Amanda just nodded Liv asked why but instead of trying to come up with an excuse Amanda simply said she'd overslept.
They made their way to Barba's office and found Dodds pacing further down the hall with his phone stuck to his ear. Dodds at least acknowledged their presence but then turned his back at them and Liv told Amanda to just head inside.
"Hi," Barba greeted them as they entered. He was propped up behind his desk, his jacket on his chair behind him which meant his suspenders were visible. They were plain green today and brighten up his grey pants and white shirt.
"I just got it this morning," Barba said as he got up and he held up the file which Liv assumed was the Patton case.
"Tricky," he said looking at Liv and she nodded.
"Messy," he said next and looked over at Amanda. She looked down at her shoes though the moment Barba's eyes landed on her. Liv caught Amanda's evasive eyes too and shot Barba a smile when their eyes met again.
"Please, hang your jackets," he said to break the silence and both females did. Dodds jacket was already hanging over one of the four chairs around the table in the middle of Barba's office.
"Can I get you something?" Barba asked. Liv looked to Amanda first but she shook her head so Liv declined as well. Liv had left the door open but since both her and Amanda had their backs to it they didn't catch Dodds walking in and both of them jumped as he loudly shut the door.
"Okay, let's sit down I don't have much time," Dodds said and was the first one down on his chair.
"So we're proceeding," Dodds said even before the others had a chance to sit down properly, "Barba will lead for the prosecution."
Dodds looked to his right where Barba was sitting and Barba gave him a single nod.
"We'll sit down with Patton and whoever he hires to defend him later today, we'll have to wait and see where that leads us. You're welcome to join if you want to," Dodds said looking at Liv to his left. She also gave him a single nod, she would very much like to be in that room if it meant putting pressure on Patton.
Dodds quiet down as his eyes went across the table and landed on Amanda. Even Liv shrunk a little even though Dodds' crossed glare wasn't on her. Dodds had a file of his own that he'd put on the table as he sat down and now he reached in to grab a paper from within it.
"Is there some reason you should not be on this case?" he asked Amanda. Amanda looked a bit scared, her eyes darting briefly over at Liv as to ask for help but Liv wasn't sure what was going on or how to help just yet.
"Seeing how chief Patton called you numerous times this weekend," he finally said and put a phone log down on the table in the very middle. He pointed aggressively to some highlighted numbers. Liv took a closer look, twisting the paper slightly her way to get a better look. There were a lot of posts, both Friday night and Saturday night.
"But…" Liv said as she noticed something, "They're all less than a minute long. You never picked up?"
She looked at Amanda who looked a little flustered. Amanda shook her head barely noticeable.
"So you mean to tell me he called you plus 20 times on Friday and close to ten times Saturday and you never once picked up?" Dodds questioned, still hostility in his tone. Again Amanda shook her head.
Liv gave Amanda a bit of a puzzled look. That's a lot of calls. Why would Patton be so desperate to get a hold of her?
"And what do you have to say about these?" Dodds said and pulled up something else from his file. He placed photographs of Amanda on the table. He aggressively laid down one at a time next to each other. Everyone around the table leaned in slightly to get a better look but Amanda and Barba fell back quickly. Amanda with a slight gasp as she recognized the photos. Barba a bit ashamed as Amanda looked slightly indecent on all the photographs and like they weren't for him to see.
"Where did you find them?" Amanda breathed.
"On Patton's phone," Dodds said with a bit of spite and Amanda gasped slightly again.
Liv looked over at Amanda a little shocked but then looked back down at the photos. The photos of Amanda look intimate, particularly one that laid in the very middle and had Amanda a bit exposed on a bed. Liv grabbed it and flipped it over to save Amanda some embarrassment.
"Why didn't you bring this up in private?" Liv hissed at Dodds, baffled at his humiliating tactic. Barba wished he could just melt through his chair somehow.
"If she hid this from us…" Dodds started but Liv interrupted.
"He had porn on his computer…" Liv said not wanting to believe Amanda had actually posed for Patton in such compromising settings as these photos made it seem like.
"On his computer yes. Regular, call it normal pornographic material. This was on his phone. If she's had some sort of affiliation with this man," Dodds hissed at Liv while pointing his finger at Amanda, "she should've…"
"I didn't," Amanda said though and interrupted him.
"What?" Dodds spat out.
"I didn't," Amanda repeated as she straighten up in her chair, "have any affiliation. With. This. Man."
Liv felt a bit proud that Amanda bit back and also little relieved things might not be they seemed.
"So how do you explain these photos?" Dodds said, voice still raised. Amanda shrugged.
"You didn't pose for them?" he tried.
"I posed for them," Amanda said briefly, setting her jaw firmly. Dodds glared at her, expecting a more explanatory answer.
"Amanda," Liv said wanting to ease the tension in the room, mostly for Amanda's sake, she could care less about Dodds.
"When did you pose for them," she asked calmly. Amanda's face eased the moment Liv called for her attention and now she looked a little scared again.
"I believe it was in… 2010," Amanda said trying to think back.
"And who did you pose for? Not for Patton?" Liv asked and Amanda immediately shook her head.
"It was for a sting," she answered but her voice broke and she had to clear her throat.
"Job related?" Liv asked while she did and Amanda nodded.
"They needed… sensual photos to tease this… well stalker slash rapist suspect with. We were desperate, he was hard to catch," Amanda tried to explain choosing her words carefully.
"Captain Reynolds? He can vouch for this," Liv said and Amanda nodded.
"But Patton didn't take them?" she asked and Amanda shook her head.
"Who did?"
"Sam did, captain Reynolds I mean," Amanda said and squirmed a little in her chair.
She remembered back to that time. They needed somewhat intimate photos and Sam had taken them to make the situation as comfortable for her as possible. The fact it was him though made it awkward and she remembered how hard it had been to relax and look like she was posing for a man she loved as she wasn't sure what feelings she harbored for him. They needed various photos that would make it seem like they'd been taken over some time and it had taken them at least an hour to finish the shoot during which she'd been forced to wear rather reveling outfits.
"Amanda?" Liv said to call for her attention as she'd seemed to have drifted off somewhere.
"Huh?" Amanda snapped back to present.
"Was it Reynolds phone? The photos were they on his phone?" Liv asked again but Amanda shook her head.
"A temporary phone I believe. Detective Weston would have the phone when we approached the suspect," Amanda answered.
"So you don't know how Patton got a hold of the photos?" Liv asked and Amanda shook her head.
"Sam promised the phone as well as the photos would be destroyed once we were done," Amanda said her voice failing her slightly as she feared Sam had lied to her.
"We'll ask him, we'll sort it out," Liv said shooting her a quick smile before she turned to Dodds.
"Happy?" she asked a bit provoking and Dodds looked a little uncomfortable. Liv's eyes went past Barba who'd kept himself still and pushed as far back in his chair as possible during the exchange that had just taken place at the table.
"Why the phone calls?" Dodds asked and broke Liv and Barba's gaze at each other.
"Why so many phone calls and why didn't you pick up?" Dodds asked again when Amanda looked unsure what to answer.
"I just didn't want to talk to him," Amanda said shrugging slightly.
"So you know it was him calling?" Dodds asked and Amanda nodded.
"Why didn't you want to talk to him?"
"He's not someone I miss from Atlanta," Amanda answered a bit evasive. Dodds pierced his eyes in her and she had a hard time sitting still.
"Could you give witness to inappropriate behavior?" he finally asked as he seemed to put the pieces together and Amanda felt a little bothered feeling three sets of eyes on
her.
"I guess yeah," she answered.
"What type of inappropriate behavior?"
Amanda squirmed a little.
"I… I've heard him talk demeaning about women…"
"What women?" Dodds questioned.
"Prostitutes, strippers…"
"That won't…" Dodds sighed but didn't explain what he meant further, "What about women on the force? He ever act inappropriately towards them?"
"Yeah I mean it's his… overall personality, the way he is."
"But you can't pinpoint something he said or did? What about towards you? Has he ever approached you?"
"He had those photos of her in his phone," Liv stated the obvious.
"Well those photos and Taymor's wavering statement won't win this case, not that I'm sure I want us to," Dodds said leaning back crossing his arms over his chest.
"Are you kidding me?" Liv burst out, "How can you say that? He raped his detective. He used Ketamine to sedate her. Patton is cleary sexual predator."
"You base that on one rape sergeant?" Dodds questioned.
"I base that on the fact Patton exhibit many of the common characteristics of a sexual predator. He's arrogant, lacks empathy, and I know that from meeting him twice. We know he's a user of pornography, that he sexualize, objectify women. He's in a power position and he uses that. Viciously. Sexual predators is typically known as rationalizers, intellectualizers, justifiers, great helpers."
"You could be describing me," Dodds said dismissive, "Well not the pornography part but the rest."
Liv sighed.
"Well, sir, you didn't pray on a woman when her son was in the hospital I hope and if you let me go down to Atlanta to find those other women I'm sure there's a pattern there. That he's used stressful and vulnerable situations to get his needs met. He deems himself entitled, preys on his subordinates. And I've read his file, he was abused by his father, placed in a foster home when his mother couldn't handle him any longer. His case worker mentioned an inability to form intimate relationships with adults."
"We can't judge a deputy chief on something a case worker wrote about him when he was 14 years old. He's respected, acclaimed and a notable figure in the entire state of Georgia," Dodds said shaking his head at her.
"And that's why he'd been able to get away with this for so long. It's time we put a stop to him now," Liv said fuming slightly while putting her finger down on the table. Dodds didn't seem totally convinced but didn't say anything. No one said anything for a while.
"Patton raped Reese Taymor," Liv said calmly, "Her testimony, Rollins testimony and I'm sure we can find others, with that we'll stop him and we will have cleaned up this police department just a bit."
The ride back to the station had been rather quiet. Dodds had allowed Liv to go down to Atlanta and work with IAB to talk to the women Reynolds had mentioned and maybe dig up more on Patton. Liv and Barba would get Amanda's statement and get her ready to testify about Patton's degrading behavior. Barba had asked Amanda's permission to use the photos of her they'd found in Patton's phone. Both Liv and Amanda knew it was mostly a courtesy, that they would be in even if Amanda said no but it was still nice of Barba to ask her.
In the car Liv's thoughts went back to that phone log. 21 calls Friday night and 9 Saturday. She couldn't help but ask and Amanda silently answered that while finishing the pattern seventeen case Patton had mentioned he wanted to grab a drink when he was up in NY in the new year.
"So he wanted to grab a drink with you?" Liv asked and Amanda nodded, keeping her head turned away. Liv thought about how easy Amanda could've been his victim instead of Taymor had she gone to have a drink with him. Patton had erased some texts from his phone but of course tech had been able to find them. One had simply read; "Pick up your damn phone Amanda." It was offensive and threatening.
"But you didn't want that and you didn't pick up cause you know Patton doesn't take no for an answer?" Liv guessed. She couldn't tell if Amanda nodded or not, she had to focus on traffic. Amanda didn't respond though. She kept her eyes focused straight out the window, tried not to blink as she was afraid tears would spill from her eyes if she did. She had to stay collected. She would take the stand, tell the court what a chauvinist Patton really was. She would help Taymor by doing that, it would be enough. That was all she had to do. It would be fine. She would just have to act as everything was fine.
She focused on just that – acting fine – as they walked back in to the station. The guys seemed to be out as their desks were empty. Liv asked if she wanted to grab lunch but Amanda lied and said she'd brought in leftovers and that she wanted to check in with her partner to see if they had some news on the new year's case. Liv didn't push and went ahead in to her office. She had a flight to Atlanta to book and she needed to get a hold of the IAB agent in charge. With her luck she feared it would turn out to be Tucker.
Amanda got a hold of Fin, learnt they were just finishing lunch and arranged to meet up with him. She worked the case with him for the rest of the shift, crossing of every last name on that phone list. It didn't look as though they would find their perp and Amanda felt dejected. Fin offered to buy her a beer but she declined, said she had to get home to pick up Frannie. She was neglecting her canine duties she tried to joke but failed.
As usual her sitter had dropped Frannie off at home a little earlier and Fin dropped Amanda outside her building. She went up to fetch Frannie for a walk, pulled a hat over her head since it was cold and then went back downstairs again with Frannie on a leash. She only got a couple of yards outside her building when a voice coming from behind her startled her.
Nick had just parked outside her building, found it strange she didn't spot him or that she didn't react when he slammed the door shut.
"Hey," he said jogging over to catch up with her. He caught her jump slightly and Frannie growled a little having picked up on her owner's sudden stress.
"It's okay," Amanda said pulling at Frannie's leash a bit.
"Hey, whattcha doing here?" Amanda said as he came up by her side.
"I just… wanted to check in, didn't see you after you left with Benson to the courthouse," he said shoving his hands down his pockets as the cold got to him a little. Amanda nodded, tried a relaxed smile at him.
"Do you wanna come up?" she asked, part of her wanting him to say yes since it would be their normal off-hours behavior, well at least just a few months ago, but part of her fearing he would. He looked a little hesitant, threw a glance up her building but then started nodding. He hadn't come there for a booty call, he wanted to check up on her, but the prospect of it happening did sit well with him right now.
"Okay, do you mind though, she needs a walk," she said hinting to her companion by her side.
"Of course, let's go, air will do me good," he said and took a step down towards where she'd been headed.
"You don't really mean that do you," she said seeing how cold he looked. He gave her one of those charming smiles that made her heart beat a little faster.
"No but if we pick up the pace I'll be fine," he said and they started walking down the street. Frannie came around between them and Nick felt her look up at him.
"Hey there girl," he said and the dog seemed pleased to finally get petted by him. Amanda smiled at him as they crossed the street.
He'd gone down the same path with her a couple of times before and remembered the routine. As they got further inside the park and reached the open field she found a bigger stick and then unleashed the dog. She tossed the stick and the dog immediately took off after it. Amanda repeated the procedure a couple of times but then Nick cut in, he'd enjoyed getting a chance to just look at her but the cold was really getting to him so he needed to get active. He also liked the chance of getting to play around with a dog. Especially this dog, he liked both her and her owner.
"I think she prefers your arm," Nick joked after his second toss. Amanda chuckled.
"She prefers anyone who gives her attention," Amanda answered.
"Typical chick then," he winked at her before he tried tossing the stick a little further this time around.
"Attention can be nice," she said but her voice had gotten a little gloomy.
"What?" Nick asked since he hadn't really caught what she said.
Amanda just shook her head though. She watched him toss the stick one more time but then stepped in front of him to grab it from her dog when she came running back. She tossed it as far as she could and then immediately turned around and latched on with her lips over Nicks. He grabbed her midsection a little startled, his lips never got a fair chance to interact with hers before she left them abandoned.
"Wow," he smiled. Frannie came back and called for her owner's attention and Amanda turned around to play a little tug and war with her dog. Nick looked around a little, maybe a little afraid someone had spotted them. They'd always been very careful when out in public, not wanting to get caught doing something that weren't really accepted between partners. Now that she'd started something he hadn't been expecting many parts of him started craving her though and he couldn't help but throw desirous looks after her as she played around with the dog.
They didn't say much more to each other, just started walking back to her place after Frannie had gotten another few laps around the field. Their eyes found each other every now and then and they both came across as slightly nervous and maybe giddy. They couldn't help but smile momentarily as their eyes met or even as they left each other's. He held up the door for the two ladies and they rode up in the elevator, Frannie sniffing at Nick which made them giggle for no good reason.
She unleashed Frannie by the door and told her to get inside. She hung her jacket and made sure Nick had closed the door before she went inside herself.
"I'm just gonna give her some food," Amanda said and Nick heard her rumble around in the kitchen seconds later.
He hung his jacket over hers by the door and then went inside. He saw her in the kitchen but went ahead in to the living room. She walked in to him less than a minute later and caught him looking at her couch, she realized her cover and everything were still out there.
"Slumber party," he joked but she seemed a bit bothered as she picked up everything in her arms.
"No, I just…" she said but couldn't come up with something good to say and just went quiet. She took a deep breath, took a couple of steps towards the bedroom but then stopped and turned to him.
"You coming?" she asked, her tone several levels more formal than just a second ago.
"You're not even going to offer me a drink first," he said trying to make a joke as he suddenly felt a little nervous.
It had been almost two months since they'd been here last and even though he really wanted it something inside him made him a little reluctant to just jump right back in the sack. Something was clearly up with her, had been since the AJ Martin case and he didn't want to forget that even if his crotch screamed for him to just go with her.
"You want something to drink?" she asked, raising her eyebrows like she didn't believe him.
"It would be nice I guess," he said though.
"Well I dunno what I got, you have to check for yourself," she said as she walked down to the bedroom to put down what she was carrying.
He looked after her, contemplating to just follow her but then turned towards the kitchen before he talked himself in to trouble. He said hi to Frannie who looked up from her bowl before he opened the fridge. He was a little surprised how empty it was, she usually didn't have it packed but he'd never seen it this hollow.
Down the hall Amanda had put her cover and pillow down but stayed to spread the cover out a bit. Once she was done though she couldn't manage to go back outside right away. She pulled her hands through her hair, tried to take a deep breath but just couldn't. You're fine, she told herself. You can do this. Just act normal. Everything is just normal. She tried to literally shake the uneasy feeling off her and then walked out.
"You find anything?" she asked trying to put on a brave face. He held up a glass of water and then took another sip of it.
"I didn't have anything more exciting than that," she said raising an eyebrow before she ducked in to her fridge. She realized the answer to her own question and ducked back out a little embarrassed.
"Guess not," she said and leaned up against the counter right next to the fridge.
"This is just fine," he said though.
"I just… I haven't been by the market for a while," she said and slid up to sit on the counter, "Been so busy with the new year's case."
"Yeah and now this… Patton deal. A lot to take in," he said trying to act casually but that was really what he wanted to talk about. Amanda seemed unbothered though and tried to interact with her dog but Frannie was busy with her food.
"So…" Nick started, "Benson told me you're going to testify. In the Patton case."
"If it goes to trial yeah, might not," Amanda said trying to act unaffected.
Nick watched her but she kept her eyes away, mostly looking at her dog. He had some more of his water before he tried again.
"But what would you… I mean I know you said he was a prick but what exactly did he do?" he tried carefully.
"He's just a bully you know," she said and made her way down off the counter.
"But that's not what the case is about," he tried as she made her way over to him.
"You're done with that?" she asked and hinted to his empty glass. He nodded and found her taking it from him and reaching over to put it down in the sink. When she faced him again she seemed to be waiting for something and he couldn't help but smile slightly. He really felt like letting his hand go through her soft hair and to kiss those lips of hers, he'd missed that, but he also wanted to know what was going on.
"So what are you testifying to?" he asked.
"Really? You want to talk?" she asked raising her eyebrow suspiciously. He chuckled.
"I just want to know what's going on you know," he tried to explain.
"Nosey Nick," she said with a sigh. He couldn't help but reach up and touch the side of her cheek.
"I'm just… looking out for you," he said.
"Don't have to," she said shaking her head a little, his hand following her, "I can do that myself."
"Well you don't have to, I mean you have your squad, you have us," he said stroking her cheek.
"All I need right now…" she said and he felt her hands land on his belt. She unbuckled it and started on his fly.
"Okay," he smiled seeing where this went and feeling at least one part of himself not objecting.
"So you're not going to tell me are you," he said feeling her hand stroke down his member inside his pants.
"I think we've proved we're better on other things than talking," she said as her lips sneaked closer to his.
The kiss they'd shared in the bar this weekend had lingered in his mind but this time she didn't taste beer. He preferred her tasting like this, no other flavors than her own present. There was something sedulous about how her hand worked him though and he wanted this, or rather himself, to last for a while tonight so he went down to fetch it. He linked his fingers with hers and brought their hands up to his chest as he enjoyed how their tongues played around each other. She'd backed him in to the counter and he enjoyed feeling her body pressed up against his own. It didn't take long though until he felt her other hand go down inside his pants and it started to tug at him just as aggressively as the other one had.
"Hey," he whispered in to her mouth trying to get her to slow down. He had to repeat himself though and then even separate himself slightly to get her attention.
"Hey, we're in no hurry," he whispered once he'd caught her eyes and he grabbed her other hand linking their fingers again and he held their hands up in the air to the side of them.
"Well do you want to do this or not?" she asked with a slightly confrontational tone.
"What's going on?" he asked brushing his lips slightly against her.
"Nothing," she said frowning slightly, "I just thought you wanted to do this."
"I do but why the rush," he asked biting down on her lip slightly.
He liked their quick, eager encounters but he'd always appreciated the longer, more exploring sessions a little bit more. The ones where he could hold on to her eyes, really be in the moment together with her and spot the tiny hints on her face and in her body that told him that whatever he was doing was bringing her pleasure.
She could be aggressive, slightly possessive at times, and she knew what she wanted in bed but she usually let him lead, telling him what she wanted in case he missed it. He appreciated that since he'd always lacked a bit of natural skill to know what the women he slept with wanted. His own unsaturated hunger blinding his other senses somehow. But she usually knew what she wanted, what she needed, and didn't have a problem letting him know. He didn't recognize this behavior though.
Whatever had stirred down in her gut since she'd walked back from her bedroom started to act up even more and she started to feel a bit nauseous. She wasn't sure she could do this if her thoughts got the better of her and the last thing she wanted was to give him more fuel to the fact something was wrong. She had to get him to take charge cause she wasn't sure she'd be able to tonight. But she needed to play it smart, to lure him.
"We haven't been together for almost two months," she tried, "is it weird I'm longing for you?"
What she said made him smile, he felt good knowing she'd missed him. He kissed her lips and then went down the side of her face, nibbling on her neck as she offered it to him as he brought their hands back behind her back, locking her in slightly.
"Maybe," he whispered between nibbles, "we should talk about what happened back then? Something was obviously bothering you."
"Was not, can't you just let that go," she said, her tone very different from his and his sweet lips weren't able to sooth the irritation she felt all over her skin.
He came up to look at her, his eyes very intrusive. She felt flustered, not liking having her arms locked behind her but all she had to do was tug slightly and she was able to twist her fingers free from his. Her hands came up on his hips and she started to pull his shirt up.
"Let's just do this," she said starting to unbutton his shirt once she'd gotten it loose.
"Hey," he said trying to get a hold of her hands again.
"C'mon," she said and grabbed a hold of his arm to pull him away from the counter and down towards the bedroom.
"Hey," he said again and tried wheeling her in. She landed in his embrace but felt bothered by the proximity.
"Don't," she complained as she tried to squirm free.
"Don't what?" he asked letting his hands unwrap from behind her back and moved them forward to just rest on her hips instead.
"Just…" she said but wasn't sure what to say and she could feel herself keep squirming even though he'd basically let her go. She grasped at his shirt a little, her hands on his chest but she wasn't sure how or when they'd landed there.
"Just let's do this," she said feeling a little out of breath all of a sudden.
"Amanda what's going on?" he asked leaning down slightly to try and catch her eyes but she kept them hidden underneath her bangs. He could see how pinched her lips were though.
"Why do you have to… be so fucking considerate," she said and stepped away from him. He looked at her a bit stunned.
"I mean," she said brushing back her hair a little, "Why not just do this."
"Cause you're obviously upset about something," he said like it was the clearest thing in the world.
"Am not. I'm fine why can't you just… accept that," she'd started pacing a little but caught herself and stopped immediately.
"Amanda," he said and now he had that gentle close to belittling voice that she disliked with a vengeance.
"Don't," she said harshly, "just don't."
"Don't what?" he asked clueless, taking a step closer to her.
"You know what," she said stepping away from him, "this was a stupid idea, you shouldn't have come here tonight. We should just face it, we're not compatible."
"Are you kidding me?" he asked.
"Do I look like I'm kidding?" she said brusquely, "Just go Nick."
"C'mon let's talk about this," he said feeling like things was just spiraling too fast.
"No, no Nick, I'm not talking about anything. There's nothing to talk about," she said and walked out of the kitchen.
"I'm not leaving until we settle whatever is going on here Amanda," he said and started to push his shirt back down in to his pants as he realized how disorganized his clothes were.
"Nothing is going on Nick," she said with a raised voice as she came back in to the kitchen.
"Nothing at all, just leave. If we're not going to fuck then you might as well leave."
Again he got a little surprised by her use of words. It wasn't like she had a clean mouth but this was a little out of character even for her. This felt like the twilight zone he'd landed in at the bar those months ago.
"I don't want to leave right now Amanda," he said very calmly to try and even out the level of their voices.
"Well I want you to leave and this is my place," she said crossing her arms over her chest but then ended up hugging herself instead which didn't make her look as strong and determined as she'd wanted.
"Amanda," he said and approached her again but this time it wasn't her growl that made him shy back.
Frannie had exited the kitchen once her bowl was empty and the two humans got close in that way that usually meant she would get locked out of the bedroom in a little while. She'd laid down on the couch as she suspected it would be her crib for the night but sneaked back towards the kitchen as she heard a unnerving tone on her master's voice. When the other human now approached her master and she sensed her discomfort Frannie padded up by her side and let a small growl out. She showed her teeth at the human when he looked at her just to make sure he didn't get any closer to them.
"Can we just talk," Nick begged, trying not to move a muscle as he didn't want to upset either Amanda or Frannie more than he'd obviously already done.
"I think it's better you leave," Amanda said though, refusing to meet his eyes.
"Amanda," Nick tried again but Frannie answered him by growling again. Amanda let one of her arms drop and she put her hand behind Frannie's ear to calm her down.
"Just go Nick," Amanda begged.
"I'm just tired okay, I need some sleep that's all," Amanda said as she started to realize this would probably just get Nick to worry, and maybe dig, even more and she just wanted him to leave. She should just never have invited him up. Why had she made such a stupid move?
Nick wasn't sure what to do. He really didn't want to leave her right now or in this state but he didn't see any other way. He knew how stubborn she could be and if she'd decided she didn't want to talk tonight he knew there wasn't much he could do to change her mind. Especially not with a growling dog by her side.
"Okay I'll leave but I'm really worried about you Amanda," he said taking a step away from her and towards the door.
"You and Fin," she sighed, "Why don't you start a club already."
"Well if Fin is worried too then maybe..." he started but stopped when she gave him a look.
"There's no need to be. I'm just tired, I worked too much this holiday. This was a stupid idea, I don't know what I was thinking," she tried to explain calmly.
He looked at her for a few seconds, really wanted to stay but knew he couldn't force himself on her.
"If you feel like calling later you can, I will answer," he said keeping his eyes on her as he took another few steps away from her.
"I won't, I'm fine," she said refusing to look at him and she was hugging herself with both arms again. Frannie standing in front of her.
"I'm just saying you can. I would like you to call but if you don't that's fine too. But... you can call," he said and with that moved towards the door.
As he got his shoes on he tried fixing his shirt a bit more and continued as he went out in to the hallway. He closed the door behind him but was left standing outside in the empty hallway for a while. It didn't take long until he heard the lock on the door and then the safety chain get attached. He looked at the peephole wondering if she was looking at him. He must be a pitiful image if she did he figured. Shirt halfway untucked, jacket in hand, gloomy look over his face. He couldn't pull himself together though.
Something was terribly wrong here and he wasn't sure if it was because she was gambling again, if there was some issue with her drinking as well, if something or someone had upset her in Atlanta or if it really was just being overworked as she tried to imply. Whatever it was he wouldn't solve it by standing there in her hallway. He just had to find another way to try and get to the bottom of this and he made a somber decline down her hallway.