Chapter 8

"There comes a time when silence is betrayal." ~ Martin Luther King Jr

Once they were done over at the courthouse Amanda didn't object to Liv's suggestion that she should go home for the day. Liv offered to drive her but she had her own car outside, and she said she was fine. Liv said she would drop by later today to fill her in on what Dodds and someone else might've said in regards to the new allegations. Amanda said to just give her a call. Liv nodded, not really sure yet whether or not to she would actually settle with just a phone call. Amanda looked spent and Liv had a slight worry she could be up to no good if left on her own. But as always it was a delicate decision, she knew she had to respect any need Amanda might have for privacy.

Barba followed them down, acting a bit more protective towards Amanda than Liv had ever seen him act around anyone. She wondered if Barba had acted this way around her as well, during the Lewis case. She'd had been a bit detached during that ordeal so she wasn't sure but she knew how hard it was when tragedy struck someone you cared for, someone you met close to every day. She'd been in this situation plenty of times now but you just never got used to it. You shouldn't get used to it either.

Liv walked Amanda to her car, watched her drive off before she headed over to her own car. A lot of thoughts went round her head as she drove back to the station. Would they be able to convict Patton with what they had? Would Reese and Amanda's testimony hold up in court? Reese seemed very fragile already and Amanda certainly didn't seem as resilient as usual? Protection. Liv realized she had to keep Amanda safe. Patton had already tried to intimidate her once, what would he do after he learns she's now accusing him of rape? She got her phone up to get a car to sit on Amanda. She felt a little calmer once that was done and she sent Amanda a text to let her know. Maybe that would get her to sit tight tonight as well?

Her thoughts started running again once she was off the phone. What defense would Patton put up? Surely he would fight dirty. She couldn't help but wonder a little about Amanda's past. She didn't seem to have the best relationship with her mom and she was pretty sure her father was deceased. She had no idea how or of what though. She really should have made a better effort to get to know her youngest detective but she hoped there was still time for that. Patton would probably bring up her gambling addiction. Would he call that two-timing sponsor of hers as well? Who would testify for Amanda's character? Would Sam back Patton up or would he step up and back Amanda? It was career suicide whether Patton would be convicted or not but Liv hoped he was still man enough. She would certainly stand up for Amanda if she was asked to. What would she say though? She'd called her untrustworthy. To her face. Liv felt a little sick to her stomach again. She shouldn't have said that. Surely Amanda had earned a reprimand but she could've handled it better. Images of Amanda's bruised face and glossy eyes passed through her mind. She'd looked so small back then. Fragile even though she tried to not let that show. Just like now. This was her time to step up as Amanda's supervisor. This situation was even worse but she would handle it better than the last time. They would get passed this too. But what would she tell the squad?

Walking in to the station she had still not come to grips what to tell the guys. Fin had seen her rush out earlier. He'd called out after her, asked what was wrong but Liv had shot him a line that nothing was wrong. By the look in his eyes as she walked back in though she could tell he hadn't bought it.

"I'm going to need a few minutes okay?" she said before he had a chance to say anything. She had to call Dodds but it was also an excuse to buy her some time. Not that calling Dodds would be much easier than to face her squad but she needed a few minutes behind a closed door right now. She hung her jacket and then sat down behind her desk but she didn't lean in over it as she usually did. Instead she got stuck watching it for a while.

She would never get her head around how anyone could violate another human being. She got urges, she understood needs but at the expense of someone else? Never. And how a superior officer could use, no abuse, his power that way? Devil. She put her palm down against her desk, let it stroke the desk cover a little back and forth. She usually valued her ability to feel and connect to victims but right now she wished she could get the images that flashed through her mind out of her head, out of her heart. She saw Patton, she saw Amanda, a bigger desk than this, in a much darker room and that unforgivable breach of conduct. It hurt everywhere to think about and she had to try and push the images out. She took a few deep breaths and then reached for her phone.

Fin had kept his eyes on her as she walked in to her office. She'd rushed out of there earlier looking like something was on fire but she'd come back looking like something the cat dragged in. Something was up and he knew it had something to do with his partner. He'd tried texting her but hadn't heard back. Right now he had a really hard time keeping his impatience tucked inside that cool exterior of his. Liv was just sitting at her desk, staring vacantly in front of her. Why did she need a few minutes for that? What was making her this crushed?

"Liv's back?" Nick's voice interrupted his thoughts but his eyes remained at her as he hummed an answer.
"Did she tell you what happened?" Nick asked and came up to his desk.

Carisi remained a couple of steps behind him, they'd just came back from lunch. Fin had skipped tagging along for some to Carisi unknown reason, he'd never experienced Fin ever saying no to food before so something was obviously up. Nick had seemed strange during lunch as well. The entire squad was on edge right now but Carisi could understand that, it was always trying when scandals like this hit the police department.

All three of them saw Liv reach for her phone.

"Who is she calling?" Nick asked out loud.
"Do I look like a mind reader? A fucking prophet?" Fin snapped and pushed himself out from his desk.

He didn't look at Nick, who just remained completely still as Fin walked around him and over towards the coffee machine.

"Wow," Carisi said once Nick finally dared to turn around. Carisi kept his voice low even though Fin was already across the room.
"What the hell is going on," Carisi said as Nick walked over to his desk to have a seat. Carisi threw a few anxious but also amused looks Fin's way to make sure he was still out of hearing range.

"Just plant yourself at your desk Carisi," Nick muttered as he turned his computer on.

He felt a little humiliated and didn't need Carisi to add to that. Carisi looked as he had more to say though but then finally seemed to make a wise decision to just sit down. Nick kept glancing over at the office. Liv was still on the phone. He couldn't really tell what type of call it was. She used her hand in the air a little but not as much as when she was angry. She put her hand on her forehead, rubbing it a little which told him it was a strenuous call. He saw Fin come walking back and he kept his eyes on the screen in front of him for a while. Through the corner of his eye though he caught Fin stopping by his desk.

"I'm sorry," he said somewhat subdued. Nick looked up, a little stunned by the apology.
"Don't worry about it," he said as quickly as he composed himself.

Fin gave him a nod and then went to sit down by his desk again. Fin hadn't brought anything back to the desk, he'd just used getting a coffee as an excuse to get up for a while but when he got there he realized he wasn't in the mood for anything else than to learn what the hell was going on with his partner. And he realized taking it out on Nick wasn't the right way to come about that.

They had to wait another few minutes but then finally Liv popped her head out of her office.

"Can I see the three of you in my office?" she asked, voice soft but still grave. Both Nick and Carisi got to their feet quickly but then seemed to wait for Fin to get up and walk in first. He moved unusually slow, Liv waited by the door for a while but then turned back inside as meeting Fin's eyes got too much for her and she sensed she would lose her composer if she didn't break the stare. She walked up to her desk, but instead of getting behind it she walked in front of it and leaned back down on it. Fin had entered meanwhile and walked further in. Nick was a couple of steps behind him. Carisi lingered by the door, shooting Liv a look to see if she wanted him to close it or not. She gave him the nod to close it so he did and then took a few steps further in.

"Okay so I need to tell you something," Liv started taking a deep breath as she spoke. Her eyes moved mostly between Nick and Fin. Her demeanor and face told them whatever it was wasn't going to sit well with them. Fin suddenly felt a little lightheaded as a terrible thought crossed his mind.

"Tell me she hasn't done anything stupid," he asked out loud. Both Nick and Carisi glanced his way, needing a few beats before the coin dropped what he was really asking.
"She has most definitely not done anything stupid," Liv reassured him quickly. He thought he would feel better about knowing she was still at least alive but he didn't. He had a hunch what Liv was going to say but he didn't dare to fully grasp it.

"But someone else have," Liv said taking another deep breath. She nodded at the look Fin gave her and she really had to steel herself to not start crying.
"Barba called me down to the courthouse," she explained, "As he was taking Amanda's deposition she revealed something and for the last… hours, I've been taking her full statement. There's no easy way to say this…"

Her eyes went passed them all before she continued.

"We're adding charges to Patton's case. Amanda was exposed to severe sexual harassment by Patton. And he… raped her."

Fin had turned away slightly as she spoke and now Nick slumped down in to the nearest chair pale as a ghost. Liv's eyes darted between the two as she tried to come up with something else to say to ease the shock but she just couldn't find any words that would make the situation less severe. Fin took a step towards the door.

"Fin," Liv said and rose up from the desk.
"I need a minute," he said cutting her off before she said anything else. She watched him walk over to the door, struggling a little to get it open and then slamming it shut, the blinds rustling. It was times like these she really wished she wasn't the boss. Missed the time when she could just go after someone in obvious need of comfort. Now she had to stay and take care of the bigger picture.

"Wait," Carisi said once the blinds stopped rustling, "When this all this happen? Are we talking back in Atlanta?"

Liv gave him a positive response by nodding.

"And she only reported this now? What three years later? Why did she only report this now if she was raped?"
"Carisi," Liv scolded, "You know better than that. And you don't have the whole picture."
"Copy sergeant," Carisi said quickly realizing he'd been out of line. Liv kept her glare at him for a few more seconds before her eyes eased as she turned towards Nick.

"You okay Nick?" she asked. His mouth was covered by his hand. He was still pale and his breath shallow. His nod wasn't that convincing as well as the fact he couldn't face her.
"What can we do?" he still managed to ask though. Liv nodded a little to herself as she leaned back against her desk again.
"I just talked to Dodds, he and Barba is taking care of the official bit. We need to do what we can to keep her safe from Patton. I got people sitting on her so there's not an immediate threat. If he decides to not take a deal, which I think it's safe to say he probably won't, we need to help her prove her case cause he will try and discredit her."

Nick had finally been able to sit up a little and he met Liv's eyes, gave her a nod to let her know he was onboard.

"Apparently Kim saw some of the injuries she sustained the second time," Liv didn't get further as Nick interrupted her.
"Second time?" he whispered. Liv looked a little sad as she gave him a nod.
"Fuck," Nick mumbled as he looked away again.

"I'm going to talk to Tucker," she said to not get stuck, "see where her case is at with the shooting and fraud charges. If it's possible to bring her in to witness without getting arrested. I know she's been staying of the radar but I was thinking maybe we can talk to that Earl Tally guy, see if he has any idea where she's at. It would be good to at least talk to her, see what she remembers. Can you get on that you think?"

The question was aimed at Nick and he nodded.

"I need to talk to captain Reynolds again. Now that I know the whole story maybe he'll be able to tell me something he's kept secret to try and protect her. She's going to need character witnesses as well, I'm hoping he'll step up."
"Good luck with that," Carisi muttered just as Fin walked back in. Liv immediately looked at him.

"What can I do to help?" he asked and Liv gave him a faint smile.

They manage to push through a full shift despite the devastating news, or perhaps because of it. Patton's case got all more personal and they all wanted justice for Amanda. Tucker of course played hard ball when Liv called him up but she got in touch with IAB detective Jonathan Sawyer that she'd worked well with down in Atlanta and he promised to try and help out.

Nick and Carisi paid Earl Tally a visit, he hadn't seen Kim since she left New York years ago but he had heard her name mentioned through friends and with just a little rough persuasion he gave them those names. Carisi did his best to engage Nick in conversation on both the ride over there and back to the station. He was dying to discuss everything they'd learnt today but Nick kept quiet, seemed mostly lost in thought.

Back at the station Liv put in a video conference call to captain Sam Reynolds, she wanted to be able to see him in the eyes as she talked to him. They quickly got over the pleasantries. Their relationship was easiest described as reserved, captain Reynolds wouldn't be the first person she'd saved from a sinking ship but right now she needed him. Amanda needed him. So she did her best to put aside any resentment she felt towards him.

"You have to excuse me captain Reynolds if I get straight to the point, you see I've spent most of today listening to Amanda Rollins' full recount of her ordeal with deputy chief Patton down in Atlanta. And I'm tired. Tired and quite honestly pissed."

She watched Sam on her screen trying to keep his composure but she saw the slight cracks in his demeanor. She knew she had his full attention.

"We're adding charges," she said, "We're adding sexual harassment and rape of detective Amanda Rollins."
"Rape?" Sam said sitting up, coming closer to the screen.
"Are you telling me that you really had no idea that not only one but two of your subordinates and proclaimed friends were raped under your command without your knowledge?"

Sam's eyes diverted downwards for a while, his hand came up to his forehead. Liv felt a little bad, he did look shaken.

"She was really…" he said once his eyes finally came back up to the screen.
"Raped yes," Liv said, she didn't have a hard time saying it any longer, "Patton raped Amanda. Not once but twice. The first time in her home, using Ketamine to sedate her. The second time in his office, no Ketamine."
"In his office? Ketamine? And in her home?" Sam repeated stunned and his eyes turned down for a while.

Liv didn't have time to regard his feelings though and gave him the date of the first assault.

"What do you remember of that night?"
"It was so long ago," Sam whispered, still stunned.

"Amanda's sister, Kim, had gotten herself in serious trouble. She was facing felony charges. And you had closed a case and were going to celebrate. You went to a bar, your usual hangout but before that you were in your recreational room upstairs. And before that Patton had called Amanda in to her office, tried to convince her to sleep with him to get Kim off her charges."

"He tried what?"
"That was his usual MO. It wasn't the first time she had to suffer through getting fondled, groped, by him. It was what he expected in return to put in a good word for Kim. This time though it wasn't enough. He wanted more, he got even more offensive but she couldn't let him. So she ran out of his office."
"Son of a bitch…" Sam mumbled.

"She got really drunk that night, I need you to tell me what you remember of that night Sam," Liv pushed.
"Okay, okay," Sam said stroking his head a few times, "I think I remember. She acted strange after that night, and Patton spread rumors. I should've known something was…"
"Sam," Liv said demanding, she needed him to focus.

"Okay yeah, I could tell she was upset. I didn't know that she'd been in Patton's office though but I of course knew about her sister. Everyone did. They knew to stay away, to not ask about it. She did have a lot to drink. She was more… open than usual."
"Open?" Liv questioned.
"She was usually on guard, like it was a constant mode of hers. I mean around those blokes she had to be alert, a hen in a cock farm like that…" Sam pondered.

Liv cringed, that was not a working environment anyone should have to be in.

"But that night she let loose, she did drink a lot. It seemed to be… beneficial though. I mean she seemed to be able to leave all the trouble with her sister off her mind for a while. I was actually pleased for her, I mean Kim always managed to bring her down but that night she was loudmouth, and if I don't remember wrongly she was up at the bar later that night, dancing," Sam chuckled slightly at the memory but then quickly settled back down as reality sneaked back in.

"And Patton? How was he acting? Did you see them together at any point?"
"Patton…" Sam mumbled as he tried to think back, "Well I know he was around but I guess he was a bit out of character as well cause he usually stole the scene. I mean he was the loudmouthed one, he demanded presence but that night… not so much really. And no, I didn't see them together but he did say something…"
"What?" Liv inquired curiously.
"Well this might sound crass but it was just the way… we… always spoke I guess but this was particularly… crude," Sam said a little cautiously.

"Your deputy chief raped his subordinates, I don't think whatever you have to tell me will shock me more than that or do you captain?" Liv said a little cocky. Sam took a deep breath on the other side of the screen.
"He said; that hussy is just asking to get rammed tonight," Sam sounded a bit embarrassed and seemed to feel a need to explain the behavior he'd come accustom to, "It was not the first time I've heard him say something… demeaning but this was less subtle, less indirect than usual. He just sounded more deadpan and not so mocking. That's why I remember it so much clearly than all those other times."

Liv had been wrong, it did shock her to hear.

"And when did you last see both of them?" she asked to not get stuck on the obscenity. Sam seemed to need to think about it.
"I saw Patton at the bar, I can't remember exactly what time it was but he was standing alone that's why I noticed, he was usually not by himself. He was having a beer, staring at something across the bar but I had people in the way so I couldn't see what he was staring at. But that was the last I saw of him."

"And Amanda?"
"I'd seen her a little earlier playing pool with some guys, she wasn't winning, I mean she was a little unsteady with the stick but she seemed in good spirit. I asked someone a little later if they'd seen her around cause I hadn't for a while, someone said they'd last seen her heading towards the bathrooms. I had a look in there cause he said that she'd looked rather plastered. I tried calling her but she didn't pick up so I just figured she'd gone home to sleep it off. Damn I should've kept a better eye on her," Sam moaned. Liv bit her tongue to not agree with him.

"And when you did see her next, how was she?"
"She seemed embarrassed, regretful of the other night," Sam said shrugging a little.
"And she asked you what had happened?"
"Yeah she did," Sam said a little stunned, maybe by the fact Liv knew or the fact it dawned on him now that she'd been drugged that night.

"And what rumors did Patton spread after that night?"
"Well he called her behavior slutty, desperate, shameful. He said… he'd seen her leave with someone. He wouldn't name names though he said as he laughed. Someone suggested it was with Patton and he really didn't deny it but didn't acknowledge it either. I guess I…"
"You were jealous," Liv suggested.
"Yeah I guess I was," Sam admitted with a sigh.

"So you never followed up on it? Never asked Amanda what happened?"
"To my defense though she seemed like she rather not talk about it…" Sam tried.
"Yeah that's a great defense," Liv scorned, "And how did Patton treat her? How was he around her?"

Sam did his best to bite down the humiliation.

"I guess… well he talked behind her back but he was actually pretty standoffish. Like I don't think I saw him anywhere near her for a rather long time."

Liv nodded, it collaborated Amanda's story which was good. Liv moved on to the second date.

"You mean that's when it happened? But I asked her about it, she said nothing of that sort," Sam said.
"Do you blame her?" Liv asked.
"Of course not," Sam said a little offended, "But she could've, I would've helped her. I did help her."

Liv felt like saying that the help came a little too late but she kept it in her head.

"Do you remember anything from that night? There supposedly was a stripper present," Liv said and tried to not sound too condescending.
"Yeah I remember that night. My wife had made the cake."
"How appropriate," Liv couldn't help but say.

Sam gave her a disgruntled look but realized quickly she had every right to sound disappointed. He was not proud of himself or his PD right now.

"What do you want to know?" he asked.
"Anything you have on Patton's behavior that night, Amanda's."
"Well Patton must've been pretty low key cause I can't really remember him. Whenever we had a stripper around he was usually at the forefront but not that night. It was rather rowdy all around that night though."
"And Amanda?"
"Well I remember she'd pretty much given up drinking at that time. I remember asking her about it but she just said she was cutting back, too many calories," Sam said with a shrug.

"Did you see them together that night?"
"Well Patton usually got on her tail but I don't think he did that night."
"And did you notice when they disappeared?" Liv asked. Sam shook his head.
"You mean it actually happened in his office while we were down there?" Sam asked still in disbelief he could've missed it. Liv gave him a nod.
"God damn," Sam mumbled closing his fist on the desk right in front of the camera.

She gave him a few seconds to collect himself.

"Do you remember a shortage of cups, I mean did you notice at any time that you were running low on them?"
"Cups? No," Sam said shaking his head, "There was no shortage of cups far as I know."
"I'm asking because someone sent Amanda up to fetch some from the old recreation room, that's how Patton cornered her. Could you ask around? Discreetly? See if anyone else went up after them or if Patton brought them down with him?"
"Sure, I'll try," Sam said.

"But someone saw her leave right? Could tell something was wrong and that's why you called her in to your office?"
"Yeah, detective Tim Fellner."
"What did he see?"
"Well he came by my house the day after, I mean sometimes they did but Tim…"

Sam was interrupted by what sounded like a knock on the door. Someone opened a door but Sam quickly held up his hand and told whoever it was that he had to come back later. The person seemed to push but then Sam roared slightly, said he was on a conference call and for the person to get out.

"Sorry about that," Sam said once he'd made sure the door was closed and he looked back at the camera.
"What about Tim?" she just asked, eager to find out what he'd seen.
"Well he was heading out but had to get something off his desk and he bumped in to her on the stairs as she came running down. She'd looked… ruffled if I recall the word he used. He grabbed her arm and she'd almost pushed him down the stairs, like defensively. He'd called her out on it and she'd said she was sorry and then just run passed him. He felt something was wrong but still went upstairs. As he was on his way out again he caught Patton walking downstairs. He'd been humming, seemed to be in a good mood. Fellner didn't want to make assumptions just wanted to let me know what he'd seen."

"Would he take the stand against Patton?" Liv asked but saw the hesitation on Sam's face.
"Would he lie to protect Patton if we summoned him?" she asked instead.
"I honestly don't know," Sam admitted.
"Could you talk to him or is it better if we do it?"
"I can ask him," Sam said.

"Will you take the stand for her?" Liv decided to just go ahead and ask the pivotal question. Sam hesitated again.
"I don't know what good I could do…" he said hesitantly.
"The rumors Patton spread, after the conference in Houston and after the first rape. That would be useful. And if Fellner won't man up, your testimony about what he told you would be helpful," Liv tried to pull at his manhood, if he had any.

"Won't that be hearsay?" Sam tried.
"C'mon Sam, she's going to need character witnesses. I've seen the references you gave her before her transfer. Our AD will call you just for that, are you going to say you lied?"
"Don't forget I know some not so good stuff about her as well…" Sam said but he didn't really sell the threat wholeheartedly.
"Sam…" Liv said as calmly as possible, "What he did to her, to Amanda. And to Angela. And now Reese. You think it's going to stop there? He's gotten away with this for years. With or without your help we're putting a stop to it but I think Amanda would appreciate you being in her corner for once. Don't you think it's about time you stepped up for her?"

Sam had turned his head slightly away but when she quiet down he finally faced her again. She had to wait a while longer but then he finally nodded.

"I'll take the stand for her," he said.

When they'd signed off Liv called Fin in to tell him the good news. It wasn't enough to put a smile on his face though.

"Can I head out?" he asked, "I need to see her."
"Are you sure? She said she wanted to be left alone," Liv said.

She was indecisive herself, she really wanted to see Amanda as well but she was a little afraid of overstepping.

"I need to make sure she's doing okay," Fin answered. Liv gave him a nod. She trusted him to know what was best when it came to his partner, he probably knew her better than anyone in NY.

"Will you fill her in on the slight progress?" Liv asked and it was Fin's turn to nod, "And Dodds wants to see her tomorrow, tell her to not worry though, I'll be there as well, and Barba. I'll give her a call later."

Fin just gave her another nod and headed out.

Nick and Carisi came back to the station a little later. They did a short briefing and then Liv told them to pack it up for today. She told them to get a good night sleep and then be ready for what would surely be an ugly trial within the next couple of days. Carisi headed out immediately but Nick lingered by his desk and then ended up looking up the names Earl Tally had given them.

Liv put in a call to Angela Morris meanwhile, one of Patton's earlier victims. She still seemed reluctant to take the stand but Liv felt just a slight shift as she let Angela know they now had two rape victims that had come forward. Liv tried to use the 'strength in numbers' sale pitch but moved on to talking about Angela's son and his health as Liv could tell she'd done enough pushing for today. The son was doing fine for the time being, still on the transplant list. Liv talked a little about Noah and his health issues as well. It felt good to have someone to discuss her worries with but never did she lose sight of the goal; to get Angela to testify as well.

While Nick and Liv kept working at the station Fin had driven himself over to Amanda's place. He stopped by a grocery store and picked up a six pack of beers, milk, some snacks and stopped by the meat counter to ask for a marrow bone for Frannie. He made another stop at her local Thai restaurant and bought food for them. If she'd already eaten she could just save it for tomorrow but he was pretty sure she was still unfed. When she got anxious she forgot to eat, he knew that by now.

He knocked on her door. First softly but when he heard nothing a little harder. He figured she could be out walking Frannie but something told him she might also be hiding out inside. He tried again and then a fourth time. He started to worry she really wasn't in there, that she'd gone somewhere to gamble just to get her head on other things than what was going on right now. He knew which neighbor she used to leave Frannie with and he decided to go downstairs and see if she'd left Frannie there. Just as he was about to walk away a muted bark was heard from inside the door.

Amanda had been in a fetal position on her couch with Frannie by her side as Fin first knocked on the door. She'd grabbed a hold of Frannie's bandana quickly as she tried to get up and then both of them had tiptoed over to the door. After the second knock she'd peeked through the peephole only to see her partner on the other side. She felt conflicted, part of her wanted him in there, she really didn't feel like being alone right now, her head was driving her nuts. But on the other hand she was scared to let him in.

Would he be angry with her? Would he scold her for not telling him what had really happened? And how much did he know? Had Liv let him listen to the tape? She wasn't sure he wanted him to know everything just yet. But Liv had promised no one would hear it if she didn't allow it. Would Liv lie to her?

She jumped slightly as the third knock startled her. She could sense Frannie's tension and gestured at her to hush and then to sit down. Frannie sat down watching her owner curiously as she placed her back against the door. The fourth set of knocks made her entire body shake with the door. She couldn't let him in. She couldn't face him.

The door settled down the moment the knocks stopped but she still held her breath. She tried to listen for his steps walking away and just as she felt a slight relief as she thought she heard him leave… *woof*

Damn. She gave Frannie a frighten look. Why did you do that? she asked telepathically and Frannie bowed her head down like she heard her. Amanda knew though, it was for her own good. Frannie probably sensed she shouldn't be alone right now. Poor dog.

"Amanda?" Fin's soft voice from the other side of the door. She still had her back to the door, trying to hold her breath but a low shiver came up her throat.
"Amanda, please let me in," his voice a little more demanding this time but still far from harsh.

She wished desperately that she could just leave him out there, that she could try and pretend that today never happened. That Patton never happened.

"Please," he pleaded and her heart was quickly melting. She couldn't do that to him.

"Please," Fin whispered, the hand holding the bag with the marrow bone pressed up against the door. He hated the barrier between them. If it was the door, or Patton, or whatever. He hated it with everything he had right now. He just had to see her. Make sure she was okay and not doing anything stupid to herself.

His heart skipped a beat and he took a step back as he heard the chain rattle on the inside. She was home, she was letting him in. He tried to breathe calmly, had to act as his usual calm and collected self. Don't treat her any differently.

He saw her blonde hair flicker by the tiny creek and then he saw her shape as she opened the door up further. It was dark inside and the light from hallway didn't really reach her so her face hid in shadows.

"Hi," he said, voice more steady than he felt.
"Hi," she whispered back. Even though he barely saw her he felt her tension.
"I got food, drink," he said holding up one hand, "and even a bone for Frannie. Can I come in?"

He thought he saw a tiny smile on her face but he wasn't sure. She moved back behind the door though as she opened it up further and he wasted no time stepping inside.

"Hi girl," he greeted Frannie as she pawed her way over to him but he could quickly see her attention went to one of the bags in his hands. He kicked off his shoes as Amanda closed the door behind them, drowning them in darkness. He knew where to hang his jacket though. He heard her put the chain back on, something she'd never done when he was there but he didn't question it today.

He went ahead in to the kitchen. He put the bags up on the counter, he'd heard Frannie follow but he wasn't sure if Amanda had. He caught her out of the corner of his eye as he started unloading the bags. She was hiding slightly behind the door frame. She wasn't acting like she usually did, it scared him a little but he tried to go on like this was any other night they would just hang out together.

"Her bone's in the plastic bag, dunno if you want her to eat it now or not," he said gesturing to the counter as he went over to the fridge to put the milk away. His plan had been to lure her to get moving and it seemed to work as she padded softly in to the kitchen. He got the rest of the groceries up as she worked to get the somewhat sticky bone out of the plastic bag. She was busy with her task so he got a chance to have a look at her, watched her almost as intensely as Frannie was right now.

She looked a little pale but her eyes didn't look red or puffy. He'd rarely seen her cry so he wasn't sure what she looked like after crying but she looked collected right now. Most of her hair had escaped a messy bun that now only held a few strands of hair pulled to one side. It told him she'd probably been lying down, tossing and turning a bit.

She was dressed in an oversized green sweater that went down over her thighs, underneath she had white dotted black leggings and on her feet thick colorful socks. He'd seen her in something similar before but tonight the outfit made her seem so very young. It bothered him that someone had taken advantage of her. He didn't know much detail yet, he couldn't take more than knowing she'd been raped. That was bad enough, details would make the image so much clearer and he just couldn't take that right now. He'd listen if she wanted to talk but it was okay for him if she didn't want to talk tonight. Letting him just be there would be enough for him.

Frannie's whimpering pulled him out of his thoughts. Fin looked down and caught her scratching at Amanda's leg.

"Someone thinks you're slacking," he pointed out.
"Help," she said smiling and held out the bone tangled in the plastic. He chuckled and took it from her. It was really stuck. Frannie started scratching his leg, looking like she was ready to jump up at him as her whines became high pitched. Fin finally just ripped the bone out and smiled as he heard Amanda giggle.

"Can I?" he asked once the bone was free.
"Sit," she told Frannie who immediately obeyed and then she gave Fin a nod.

She took it gently from Fin but then hurried out of there with her prey. They both let out a slight chuckle as they watched her hustle out. Amanda reached for a towel and handed it to Fin so he could wipe his hands. He looked at her as he used the towel. She got a little awkward under his watchful eyes and started picking a little at what was left of the plastic bag lying on the counter. Her eyes went passed his every now and then and a crocked smile flashed over her face each time but disappeared just as quickly. He put the towel down on the counter but kept looking at her and she started squirming even more. He knew he should say something but he wasn't sure what that something was and he hated that he made her feel so uncomfortable. They'd never been uncomfortable with each other and damn Patton for causing friction.

He hoped he wasn't presumptuous as he grabbed her and pulled her to him. For a few seconds he felt a slight panic as he could feel how rigid she was. What if this was the opposite of what he was supposed to do in this situation? But then he felt the tension in her body lessen some and he dared to move his arms further around her. One palm landed flat on her back, rubbing soothing up and down slightly. The other hand went up in to her hair so he could force her head to come down further against his chest.

Her breath was shallow and rapid at first but as she started to relax more it became deeper and calmer. He felt her hands come up on his chest on either side of her own body and he felt delighted as she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. He put his cheek against the top of her head, closed his eyes and just listened, and felt, her breath for a while.

"We'll get through this," he said quietly, "We'll make him pay for what he did and then we'll come out even better and even stronger on the other side. Trust me Amanda, we will get through this."

He felt her breath stalk up a little and he held her closer for a while as shivers rippled through her small frame.

Amanda was touched by his words and she wanted to believe him. When she first got home earlier she doubted things could ever go back to normal. She doubted her own ability to be able to continue being a detective, to even function properly now that everyone would know. She'd been scared. Where would she go if she couldn't stay in New York? She could never go back to Atlanta. Where would she go?

As she took Frannie for a walk the fear followed her. Every shadow in the corner of her eye made her jump, the cold wind dragging leaves and trash along sounded eerie to her. The cop car trailing her did nothing to make her feel better, it just made her feel watched and every other shape coming towards her was threatening until they had long passed her. Was she supposed to live like this now? Scared of her own shadow?

Having Fin there, once she realized he wasn't angry at her, made her feel a little better. She couldn't stand her own company right now, maybe having him there would make her feel a little better? But as he just kept watching her she feared what he was thinking of her, if he would say anything. His arms, his proximity scared her at first but then she realized how safe he always managed to make her feel. She didn't have to fear him. His hand going over her neck sent a ghastly flashback through her brain but it vanished the moment she opened her eyes back up. This was her kitchen. This was Fin holding on to her. This was okay.

She managed to relax again and it felt so good being able to grab a hold to him. Her strong, dependable partner. His words moved her. We will get through this. She wanted to believe that but the doubt inside her hurt and for a few seconds she was worried she was going to lose it as a few tears leaked from her eyes, stinging her sensitive skin. His arm wrapping harder around her, his hand pressing the side of her face harder against his chest so she could hear his heartbeats right by her ear helped though. It had a calming effect on her and she took a few deep breaths to calm herself. She could not break now. If she broke now she would never get through this. His presence, his embrace, helped but she could feel that her skin would start crawling soon and she let go of the grip at his shirt. Thankfully that was all she needed to do. She felt his lips brush up against the top of her head as his grip around her eased and then he let her go. He turned his side to her once he'd let her go, gave her a chance to wipe her face without having him stare at her.

"So you want beef or chicken?" he asked keeping his eyes on the food.
"Beef," her frail voice returned.
"How did I know you would say that," he smiled and pushed the container closer to her.
"Can we eat in front of the TV?" he asked as he grabbed the container with chicken and the one that held the noodles. He saw her nod.
"You want a cold soda or lukewarm beer?"
"Soda," she whispered.

She'd picked up her container and he handed her the utensils and napkins so he could carry the drinks for them. She went ahead in to the living room. Put the stuff down on the table so she could clear the couch from what she'd used to hibernate there earlier. He soon walked in after her, throwing a look at Frannie who was gnawing away at her bone over in the corner. Amanda was flipping through channels and he took her container as she did that, pouring some noodles in to it. He stuck a fork in her container and then opened up both soda cans. He put some noodles in his own container and then sat back on the couch.

She seemed to have found something they could both watch and followed him back on the couch with her own container. Fin was as usual hungry and dug through his container while Amanda seemed to more nitpick through hers. He was aware of it but they had time and as long as she didn't stop all together he wouldn't say anything.

She'd settled on a documentary on the nature channel, it was neither a tear jerker nor any blood and gore animal attacks so they just watched under silence. When he was done with his container he put it down on the table and brought his soda back with him instead. Over in the corner Frannie made a smacking sound that made them both look over. She gave them one of her what-you-looking-at-looks right back and then let out what sounded like a burp which made them both chuckle. Amanda slid down a little further, rested her head against the back near his head as she held the container close to her chest for a while.

"Thanks Fin," she whispered.
"Of course," he answered calmly, "any time partner."