Thank you all again for reading, reviewing, favoriting and following this story! This is another heavy chapter, but lots more progress. Please let me know what you think with a review. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.

Chapter 4

Andy wasn't suddenly cured after the night she cried herself to sleep in Sam's arms, but she was doing better and continuing to make progress. There were still times she tensed up or jumped when Sam rested a hand on her back or arm, but even if it felt uncomfortable for a moment, she tried to fight through it. Most of the time it worked and a few seconds later her trembling would stop. Boo had helped pull her out of her shell, so she was smiling more and getting more talkative about everyday things.

She'd also been working with Dr. Dwyer about how to speak about what she went through. She knew she eventually had to be able to give a statement, and Dr. Dwyer suggested trying to open up to Sam first.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Andy asked one afternoon.

"Of course," Sam replied.

She nodded toward the couch and they both sat down, leaning against the back of the couch so they were facing each other. "I know it's been frustrating, um, since I got back." She held her hand up when Sam opened his mouth. She needed to get this out. "It's been confusing and difficult and I can't imagine how much it hurts you when I appear fearful of your touch." She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment before she continued. "Dr. Dwyer and I have been talking about it...a lot. And you have to know it's not the way I want to react to you."

"I know this has been hard on you," he said, when she took a long pause. "I wish I could take all the pain away so you never had to go through any of this."

"I know you do and I love you for that. But you can't. And...it's time...It's time you understand why I react the way I do." She felt her heart pounding in her chest as she tried to form the words. Sam waited patiently, his body as still as a statue, not wanting to spook her. He could see how hard this was for her, and while he wanted to hear this, he also didn't want to be the cause of her anxiety.

She focused her eyes on her hands, which were fidgeting with the pillow she held in her lap. "It started the moment I woke up in the farmhouse. Mostly at the hands of Jonah, but...but there were about half a dozen others in his inner circle that he allowed...that he shared me with. They hit me, cut me. I was chained up. I was starved. They kept me pumped full of drugs. I was…" She looked up at him, lips trembling. "They forced themselves on me."

Sam closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew the doctor had told him the basics of how she'd been abused, but this was beyond his worst fear. "I'm sorry I didn't find you sooner." It didn't even sum up how sorry he was, but it was all he could say.

"It's not your fault, Sam. And I know when you touch me, I know you aren't going to hurt me. I know that when you touch me, it's full of love. But for months, every touch let to some kind of torture. And it's all mixed up in my head now." She reached her arm across the back of the couch and opened her palm. Sam didn't hesitate to place his hand in hers, and her fingers wrapped around his. "Dr. Dwyer is helping me, but please be patient."

"The last thing I want to do is cause you more stress," he told her. "I'll take this at whatever pace you can handle. I don't care how long it takes."

She felt like a small weight had been lifted off of her now that Sam knew. And while she was well aware how much he loved her, the fact he hadn't gone running at what she told him was a relief and fed her confidence. She sunk her teeth into her bottom lip to stop the tears that threatened to fall from all the emotion building up inside her. Sam held on tight to her hand, eventually feeling her tug on it, a silent request to come closer.

When he scooted across the couch, Andy let go of his hand. She hesitated only a moment before sliding her arms around his body and resting her chin on his shoulder. Sam quickly wrapped his arms around her, gently holding her against him.

"I'll follow your lead on all of this, whatever you need me to do," he said. "I'll never leave you, no matter how difficult it might be at times. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Interrupting them, Boo jumped up on the couch and wiggled his way in between them.

"Boo," Sam growled out.

"He's fine, Sam," she said, sitting back and ruffling the dog's ears. "He just doesn't want to miss out on anything, do ya, Boo?"

Boo licked Sam's face before lying down on Andy's lap, knowing she'd pet him just how he liked. Sam shook his head; this dog already had her wrapped around his paw. He loved the bond they'd formed and how Boo had helped Andy even though he didn't think she quite realized it. Their new pup was also very protective over Andy and that was something else Sam loved.

"There's something else I wanted to talk to you about," Andy said as she stroked her hand down Boo's back and lulled him to sleep.

"Okay," Sam said, leaning back against the couch.

"I want you to go back to work," she said, and waited for Sam to argue.

"It's too soon. No, I want to be here for you," he replied, predictably.

"It's been more than a month. If not now, when?" She didn't wait for a response before continuing. "I love that you've been here for me since the moment you found me, but you can't stay home forever. You have to get back to work."

"I don't care about going back to work. You're the most important thing to me," he argued.

She smiled at him and took his hand in hers. "I know. Every day you show me that. But there's nothing more you can do sitting here watching bad daytime TV with me."

He thought for a moment as his thumb glided back and forth across her knuckles. "You're sure you'll be okay here alone?" he finally asked.

"I will be fine, and Boo will be here to entertain me," she said, with a smile.

"I'll go back part-time," he said reluctantly. "I'll go back working half days, if you're really okay it."

She gave his hand a squeeze. "I am. I want life to start going back to normal."

"Okay. I'll go in to talk to Oliver tomorrow, see if there's anything I need to do before coming back on half-days. But right now, what'dya say we take Boo to the park?" Boo lifted his head, hearing Sam say 'park.'

"I think that's a great idea. Mr. Lazy Butt is getting too comfy on my lap," she said, giving Boo a small pat on the butt that had him jumping to the floor, his tail wagging excitedly.

A few days later Andy walked out of her therapy session feeling the most confident she had since she'd been rescued. The plan had been for Sam to drop her off at home before heading into work, however, when they got into the truck, she laid a hand on his arm before he could pull out of the parking lot.

"Take me to the station," she told him.

He quirked his eyebrows as he studied her face. "You sure about this?"

Dr. Dwyer told her she'd been making serious strides, but before she could truly allow herself to heal and put the trauma behind her, she had to relive it for her statement. Delaying it would only be harmful to her recovery.

"I need to do it before I lose my nerve," she said. "It's long overdue. I need to give my statement so there's never a chance they'll do this to anyone again."

Sam called Oliver as they headed to the station, so that he and Steve were prepared when they arrived.

The station was its usual bustle of activity, but most of their friends were out on patrol, so Andy made it up to Oliver's office without stopping to chat with anyone. Now that she'd started this, she just wanted to get it over with.

Oliver was sitting behind his desk and Steve was setting the camera up when Sam and Andy walked in. "McNally, how are you doing?" Oliver asked.

She gave him a tight smile before responding. "I'm better." Sam closed the door behind him while Andy took a seat on the couch. He kept a bit of distance so he wasn't in the frame of the video, but Andy took his hand in hers and rested it between them.

He gave her a small smile. "You can do this," he said softly.

"Ready?" Steve asked, sitting down.

She took a deep breath and felt Sam gently squeeze her hand. "Yeah."

They started at the beginning with Andy describing what happened the night she was abducted - at least what she remembered before blacking out from the drug. She explained not only what had happened to her, but things she had overheard and seen that might relate to the child trafficking charges. She refused to take a break, afraid she wouldn't be able to continue if she did. She needed to get it out and needed to do it now. It was two hours later when Andy wrapped up the last detail she could remember before Sam had found her. The three men listened intently, with only Steve interjecting a few questions here and there to help clarify things she said.

When it was over, silence engulfed the room, no one knowing what to say after Andy's horrifying recounting of events. She stood up suddenly and excused herself to the restroom, needing a moment to herself as much as she knew the three men who were like family to her needed to let what she'd told them sink in.

Sam watched her walk through the bull pen until she disappeared down the hallway that led to the locker rooms. When she was out of sight, he punched a fist into the couch cushion next to him. "Fucking bastards," he nearly shouted, punching another fist into the cushion before sitting forward and putting his head in his hands. Even though she had already briefly told him what her captors had done to her, hearing all the gruesome details made him sick to his stomach.

Oliver ran a hand over his face before turning to Steve. "Will this…Please dear god tell me this will put them away."

"For everything we wanted and more," Steve assured him. "There's no way they'll get away with any of it after this."

"Who's the prosecutor on this?" Sam asked, standing up to pace the room.

"O'Donnell, she's the best. This case is her top priority," Steve replied. "She's not going to let any of them slip through the cracks."

Andy bent over a sink in the locker room and splashed cold water on her face. She grabbed a couple paper towels and dabbed her face dry as she turned around and leaned against the counter. She'd done it. She fought through the fear and finally given her statement. On one hand it felt like a gigantic weight had been lifted off her shoulders. On the other hand, they now knew the details of the trauma she encountered. It felt like a dirty secret being aired out into the world, even though she knew she hadn't done anything wrong.

Andy was so lost in her thoughts she didn't hear Chloe enter the locker room. "Hey, Andy!"

Andy looked up, startled to see her friend walking toward her. "Hey Chloe."

"I didn't know you were coming in today," Chloe said.

"It was sort of unexpected. I, uh, I came in to give my statement," she said, tossing the towel she'd balled up into the nearby trash can.

"You ok?" Chloe asked, her tone changing to concern.

Andy forced a tight smile. "Yup." Knowing her friend didn't believe her, she continued a beat later. "It was hard, but Sam was there. He's my rock."

"We're all here for you, you know that, right?"

"I do," Andy replied, nodding. "So, how have you been?"

"Well, Dov and I are looking for our own place. We can't seem to agree on where or what we want, but he finally agreed to move out of that cramped apartment," Chloe said, excitedly.

"That's great. I can give you the name of the realtor Sam and I used. She was fantastic," Andy offered.

"Yes, please! We need the help," she replied with a laugh.

"I should get back," Andy said, pushing herself off the counter. "I'm not sure if Steve has more questions for me."

"Hey, Andy," Chloe said, stopping her friend as she headed toward the door. "I hope we'll see you at The Penny soon."

"Maybe. I haven't been much fun to be around," Andy said.

"Well, when you're up to it. We all miss you."

Sam spotted Andy returning and met her outside of Oliver's office, framing her face in his hands when she was close enough. "I am so sorry, Andy. I wish I could go back in time and protect you, stop any of that from happening to you."

Her hands came up to his forearms as her eyes filled with tears. Her emotion clouded over the fact she didn't even flinch at how he held her. "I was so weak. I couldn't even fight them off or get away. Maybe if I had done more I could've prevented it," she said quietly.

Sam furrowed his brows, confused. "What? What are you talking about? You are one of the strongest people I know. You kept yourself alive long enough…" He choked back emotion before he could continue. "Long enough for us to find you. You have nothing to be ashamed about."

It was like he could read her mind. He used his thumb to wipe away a tear that escaped and rolled down her face. "Can I...Would it be okay if I kissed you?" he asked. They hadn't shared a kiss since the day she was kidnapped, but he decided to take a chance now.

Her eyes searched his for a moment before she closed them and remembered what his lips felt like on hers. She missed that. She gave a small nod of her head with her eyes still closed, and waited. He was nervous, questioning whether he should push her like this, especially right after reliving all the trauma she went through. But she was waiting for him now, and he wouldn't give her reason to doubt how much he wanted her, despite how damaged and untouchable she felt.

He only lightly touched her lips at first and felt them trembling under his own. Despite that, her face hadn't tensed beneath his palms and her hands were still relaxed just above his wrists. So, he pressed his lips more firmly in a proper kiss. It was brief, but when he pulled back she was smiling.

As much as she didn't think any man would want to touch her after hearing what had been done to her, Andy was quickly being reminded Sam was not any man. He'd been attentive to her since they left the station - he'd decided to take the rest of the day off - and she could tell he was desperately trying to respect her and give her space even though all he wanted to do was wrap her up in his arms. She needed to find a way to get over the insecurities within her that still remained. She decided she'd bring it up during her next session with Dr. Dwyer.

That night, as they sat on the couch after dinner, Andy moved from the end of the couch so she was closer to Sam, their arms and thighs nearly touching. Their eyes met as she got comfortable and she gave him a small smile. He laid his hand, palm up, on his thigh, a silent invitation if she felt comfortable. She bit her bottom lip as her eyes stared at his open hand and tried not to let herself overthink it. She placed her hand in his and slowly their fingers intertwined and wrapped around each other.

Sam found a comedy they both enjoyed watching, but Andy was lost in her own thoughts. There was one thing she hadn't spoken about during her statement. It was something that wouldn't change the prosecution of her abductors; it wouldn't make or break the case. It was something she hadn't planned to admit to anyone, but it had been fresh in her mind all afternoon and more than anything she found herself wanting to share it with Sam.

She squeezed his hand lightly as she turned her head toward him and began to speak. "There's something, uh, something I left out of my statement. Something I need, no, something I want to tell you."

Sam realized the seriousness of the conversation they were embarking on by the darkness in her eyes and he shut the TV off to give her his full attention. He shifted slightly to have a better view of her and waited for her to continue.

"I don't think it has relevance to the case, and it's...I'd rather not have everyone know. But after hearing it, if you think it would help, I'll amend my statement," she said, trying to shake her nerves off so she could get to the story.

"Okay," Sam agreed, concerned with where this might be going.

Andy took a deep breath and focused on their joined hands, knowing his support gave her strength. "The drugs were wearing off one morning when Jonah...when he was forcing himself on me, and my head was momentarily clearer. So, I bit him. I thought, I don't know, that somehow I was taking some control over what was happening, that maybe I could get away," she told him.

She sunk her teeth into her bottom lip as she tried to keep her emotions in check so she could continue. "But I just made it worse because then he was doubled over in pain. He had Carlos & Santonio teach me a lesson, show me that I wasn't to disobey, that I wasn't to act out. It wasn't the first time, but god, Sam, it hurt. It seemed to last forever and I think I blacked out." She released his hand and leaned forward, elbows on her knees and Sam rubbed her back. "When they threw me back in my room, I was sure I had a broken rib, and the pain...and then they refused me any food or water."

She turned her face to look at him for the first time since she started speaking and he saw the pain etched in her eyes. "I wanted to die. I managed to pull a metal spring from the bed, the sharpest thing I could find, but it didn't do more than scratch my wrists. I tried, Sam. I wanted to end it right there."

"You didn't though," he said softly.

She stared at her wrist, rubbing her index finger over it. "If that spring had been sharp enough, I would have. You don't even know the pain. I was beyond starving and thirsty, and I hurt, everywhere, and…" The tears started coming and she couldn't stop them. Sam pulled her against him, and she let him hold her close as she cried against his shoulder.

He cradled her head against him with one hand, the other rubbed soothing patterns on her back. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "So sorry you had to go through that." He closed his own eyes to hold back his own tears. He couldn't imagine a life without her in it. He was furious with the universe for not only allowing these men to nearly take her life, but for her to be tortured so badly she wanted to end it herself. The fact that she needed him more than ever right now was the only thing stopping him from barging his way into prison and killing her captors with his bare hands. He would find a way to make them pay. When justice was served, he would find a way to make the rest of their miserable lives as painful as could be.

When her sobs slowed down, he brushed hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked, feeling helpless.

She lifted her head, red and puffy eyes, and tear-stained cheeks facing him. "Tell me it'll be okay."

His heart sunk at the pleading in her eyes and helplessness etched on her face. "You are going to get through this. And you don't have to do it alone. I will be here every step of the way. If you ever feel it's too much, just turn around and I'll be there. I will do everything in my power to protect you, Andy. I will never let anyone touch you again."

She traced her thumb slowly along the edge of his jaw. She had always felt safe with Sam, even if when she first got back she jumped at every touch. But right now, she felt safer than ever. She poured out every single thing that happened to her over those three months and here she was with his arms wrapped lovingly around her. "Just hold me?" she asked.

"Forever."

She laid her head back on his shoulder and let her hand fall to rest against his chest. This was everything she wanted right now.