Chapter 3: Shocks

"Hey Gaz, have you seen my new issue of Crop Circles? It was supposed to come today," Dib asked, lifting up a couch cushion incase it'd gotten wedged in between them. "Gaz? Gaz!"

Gaz lifted her gaze from the drawing she was working on and glared contemptibly at her brother. "What do you want, Dib?" she growled.

"My new magazine, did it come today?"

Gaz opened one squinted eye and picked up a gooey slice of pizza off the coffee table. "There it is," she said pointing to a tomato sauce and grease soaked bundle of paper that had once been Volume 23, issue 9 of CCM.

"You know," Dib said with a frown, picking up the dripping magazine, "we have these things called "plates" in the kitchen." His sister just shrugged and took a bite of her pizza then turned her attention back to her picture, leaving Dib nothing to do but sigh and make his way upstairs.

As he opened his bedroom door he couldn't help noticing that the doorknob seemed the tiniest bit lower than usual, but he dismissed it as nothing but his imagination and flopped on his bed where he figured he could maybe at least salvage some of his magazine.

Dib turned the page to an article about mind-reading super cows (Peaceful, psychic livestock, or supernatural bovines of DEATH!? the headline screamed) and licked some pizza sauce off his finger. He was about halfway through reading it when-

BZZZZZTTT!

"YAAAHH!" Dib was so startled by this unexpected jolt he rolled right off the side of the bed. "Unnnhhh..." He sat up with a moan, massaging his aching behind. Sitting perfectly still, his paranoia level now lodged firmly in the red, he became aware of an odd buzzing sensation flowing throughout his body. Unsteadily, he pulled himself to his feet, trying to shake off the uncomfortable feeling.

"All right! What's going on?!" he demanded to the empty room.

Dib knelt down and looked under the bed, but all he saw was a bunch of books, boxes, socks, and a piece of three-year old birthday cake with mold growing on it, none of which could've been responsible for the crackle of electricity he'd just felt.

"What's with all these stupid shocks today?" Dib wondered aloud, scratching his head. He was sure there were no loose or faulty wires in his room, and this time there was no mistaking what he'd felt for static electricity, so after going over the facts several times Dib came to yet another brilliant assessment: he had absolutely no freaking clue what the spoot was going on.

Determined to get to the bottom of this, Dib grabbed his pair of X-scope goggles hanging off the bedpost and headed over to the mirror. If the shocks weren't coming from any external source, then maybe they were somehow originating inside of him, some sort of spontaneous human combustion thing perhaps. It was a strange idea, but when you consider the type of life Dib leads it was as logical as 1+1 equaling 2.

He found some difficulty trying to put on the goggles which for some reason didn't want to fit around his head today, so Dib loosened the strap a little and pulled the lenses down over his eyes. Switching them on and looking in the mirror he could see that everything seemed to be in order: heart, lungs, kidneys, spleen, intestines… all of them looked fine and there was nothing strange that he could see, except-

"Wait a minute…" Dib squinted and leaned closer to the glass. "What is that?" He turned his head and tried to glimpse the back of his neck. There was something there, something very small hidden under the collar of his coat that he'd probably have missed if not for the X-scope. He twisted his head even further and spied what appeared to be a small roundish piece of metal about the size of a dime stuck to the base of his neck.

At the same time Dib was making this discovery, somewhere across town a black-gloved hand was running a finger eagerly over a button on a remote control. Two ruby eyes glittered maliciously, and a villainous cackle filled the air as the button was pressed down.

"YEEEAAAHHHHH!" Dib let out a hideous yowl of pain. It wasn't because of the white-hot jolt of electricity that surged through his body, however, but the incredible pressure he suddenly felt as the strap on the goggles inexplicably began to tighten. He tugged frantically at them, trying to tear them off, but they were stuck like a vice around his head, getting tighter and tighter every second. Dib squeezed his eyes shut, and right when he felt like his skull was about to burst the strap snapped in two, and the goggles clattered to the floor.

Dib put a hand over his racing heart, his breath coming in short panicked gasps. "What the heck was THAT all about?!"

Shaking uncontrollably at the scare he'd just had he stumbled over and collapsed on his bed. His head sank into his pillow as he rubbed his sore temples, trying to chase away the dark blotches that were muddying his vision. There was something seriously wrong going on here, but before Dib could even begin to gather his thoughts on the matter another shock ripped through him, followed by a sharp blow to the top of his head.

"OWW!" he yelped and bolted upright. Putting a hand to his throbbing skull, he looked over his shoulder to find he'd just somehow slammed his head up against his headboard hard enough to leave a dent in it. He stared at the spot, his mouth hanging agape. "What…?! How could I have done that?!"

Plagued with confusion, Dib shut his eyes and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Trying to think, he unconsciously began tapping his foot against the floor. His mind was so overloaded that it took him few seconds to realize that this should have been impossible. Like any typical grade school kid he was a little on the short side, and his feet would normally be dangling freely over the edge of the bed. How was it, then, that here he was tapping one on the ground?

A tight feeling of impending doom welled up inside the pit of Dib's stomach. He opened he eyes and looked around the room at every piece of furniture and picture hanging on the wall. Was he losing his mind, or did everything seem... lower than before?

Swallowing the fear that threatened to choke him, he stood up shakily, and as he did he found himself rising much higher than he normally would, as if he were walking on stilts. From his upright vantage point, the change in the room was even more glaringly obvious.

He didn't want to believe what he was seeing, but there could be no denying it. His bed, his desk, all his various paranormal investigation equipment and spy gear… all his stuff was definitely smaller than it had been a moment ago, and his posters, the light switch, and all the wall fixtures were unmistakably lower.

Suddenly another pulse of electricity, this one the strongest yet, lit up his insides. At the same time, Dib watched in horror as the room appeared to close in on him from all sides, and all his furniture appeared to shrink right before his astonished eyes. "What the…?!" he squeaked, his throat dry. "What's happening to me?!" Dib reached over his head and discovered to his shock that he could now press his palm up against his bedroom ceiling.

It was impossible. It couldn't be happening, but it was. His blood stopped cold in his veins and his brow broke into a terrified sweat as it hit him; his room wasn't getting smaller-he was growing larger!

BZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzZTT!

The now familiar pulse of energy invaded his body again. Dib knew he needed help.

And fast.

"Gaz! GAAAAAAZ!" Dib shouted as he bolted for the door. "Ga-Nyah!" he yelped, falling backwards as he ran smack into the formerly high doorframe. Leaping back up he sprinted down the stairs, taking them two at a time in his haste.

"GAZ! Ga- YAAAAAAHHH!" This time Dib was interrupted as the railing he was leaning on snapped beneath his hand, sending him tumbling down the remaining steps. "Gaz!" he shouted again after landing in the living room.

"Ungh…" Gaz groaned at the sound of her brother's voice and focused even harder on her lovely drawing depicting an unholy nightmare demon ripping its way out of a screaming man's chest.

Dib approached the foot of the couch. "Gaz! You have to help! Something horrible is happening to me! I-"

"Shhh!" She held up a hand for silence and drew her demon-creature some more teeth.

"Gaz, please!" Dib cried, the urgency imminent in his voice.

The berry-haired girl grumbled and lifted her eyes from her paper. "All right, Dib, what is it this-… Say, what happened to you?" she asked in an almost interested tone as she caught sight of him.

"I don't know!" Dib flung his arms up in the air. "I was just sitting up in my room, and I kept on getting these weird electric shocks, and the next thing I knew I… I just started growing!"

Gaz discarded a purple crayon and picked up a blue one. "Yeah, I thought your head looked bigger today."

Dib began pacing the room, his scythe-like stalk of hair making a soft brushing noise against the ceiling as he walked. "What am I going to do? This is terrible! How can this be happening?! GAZ! HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING!?" he exclaimed, gripping the couch behind her.

"Maybe you're going through a growth spurt," she offered, not looking up from her artwork.

Dib scowled and folded his arms. "Come on, get serious, Gaz! No one grows this much in ten years, let alone ten minutes! I mean, just look at me!" he shouted, gesturing down at his body. "I must be nine feet tall! Besides, that doesn't explain why my clothes got bigger, too. Whatever's causing this it obviously isn't natural!"

Gaz flashed a heavily lashed eye at him; now that her brother was more than twice his size he was twice as irritating. Not to mention louder.

"And what if it doesn't stop?" Dib continued, his voice bordering on panic. "There's no telling how big I could end up! What if I just keep growing till I'm too big to fit inside the house?"

"Yeah," Gaz taunted, "maybe you'll grow so big you'll fall off the planet."

Dib's eyes widened in terror.

"Relax, Dib, I was just kidding."

"C'mon, Gaz, this isn't funny!"

"What's the big deal, anyway? I wouldn't mind if it happened to me," Gaz remarked, thinking of all the people she'd like to stomp on.

Dib shook his head. "You just don't get it, Gaz. If I get too big I'll have to sleep in the backyard! And what about food? Dad'll go bankrupt just trying to feed me, not to mention having all my clothes custom made. And I won't be able to take showers, and—!" Dib let out a horrified gasp. "…Where will I go to the bathroom!?"

Gaz just rolled her eyes.

Please, Gaz! You gotta help me figure out why this is happening so we can fix it!" Dib begged his sister.

Gaz thought for a second. "Were you messing around in Dad's lab or something again?"

Dib shook his head.

"How about playing near power lines?"

"No."

"Standing too close to the microwave?"

"No, nothing like that."

Gaz let out a frustrated grunt. "Well, I don't know what you want me to do about it," she snarled through gritted teeth. "Now leave me alone so I can finish this." With that she began scribbling busily away on her paper and Dib could only stare at her, a wounded look on his face. How could his own sister be so unconcerned about his ordeal? Still, this was no time to worry about hurt feelings when there were- *ahem*- bigger issues at hand (if you'll forgive the terrible pun).

Dib continued to pace back and forth, trying to come up with something that might explain his sudden increase in size. "I don't understand how this could happen," he repeated to himself, furrowing his brow in thought. "What could possibly be causing me to grow like this?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Of course I want to-… Wait a minute! Zim?!" Dib whipped around at the sound of the alien's unmistakable voice and his much-too-large elbow sent a lamp crashing to the floor.

Zim. Of course Zim was behind this! He should have guessed right away. Anytime anything this bizarre happened in his life it always invariably boiled down to those three little letters.

"Zim! I should've known this had something to do with you!" He clenched his fists angrily. "Where are you? Come out and show yourself!"

"Who're you talking to, Dib?" Gaz asked in an irritated tone.

"Didn't you hear him? It's Zim!"

"I don't hear anything except your stupid voice," she grumbled.

The invader's playfully acid tones came again. "Oh Diiiiiiib… Watch your head!"

"Huh?" The word was barely out of Dib's mouth before he felt the familiar tingling washing over him, and the next thing he knew the top of his head was crashing through an overhead lighting panel. Groaning, he shook the little bits of glass out of his hair. Before he was even done reeling from this another round of shocks racked his body. "Nuh!" Dib had to stoop as he felt his back and shoulders pressing up against the ceiling, the incredible pressure of his expanding body causing a web of cracks to appear in the plaster. If this kept up it wouldn't be long before he destroyed the house.

"Unhh! I've got to get out of here before I get any bigger!" he cried and scrambled for the front door.

Dib managed to get his body through easily enough, however his already oversized-even-before-he-started-growing head got stuck, so he had to back out and push against the doorframe to try and get himself loose. With a grunt, a push, and a pop, he ended up sprawled on the sidewalk, and just in time too, for the instant he climbed to his feet his body began to tingle again and he felt himself shoot up another several inches. Just to make things even more awkward, a kid on a tricycle happened to be riding by at this moment. The second he caught sight of Dib his eyes widened and the color drained from his face. Dib shot him a lopsided smile and the kid reacted by abandoning his bike and running down the street, screaming like a monkey on fire.

Dib smacked his forehead. "This is so embarrassing," he grumbled.

"Hey, how's the weather up there, Dib-monkey?"

"Zim!" Dib snapped to attention hearing his nemesis's voice and scanned the yard. "Where are you?"

"Don't bother searching for me out there," came the snide reply. "I'm transmitting to you from the safety of my lab."

Dib tensed his shoulders angrily. "What've you done to me, Zim?!"

Zim gave a little snort. "You really have to ask that?"

"Okay then… why have you done this to me?" The only thing he got in reply was a buzzing sensation and another fifteen inches added to his height.

"Hey! Cut that out!" he shouted. Dib was so tall now he could see into the second story windows of his house, and this discovery only fueled his anger.

"I'll tell you why," Zim went on nonchalantly, though a sinister accent tinged his voice. "Come to my base and I'll gladly explain everything."

"But why should I come over there when you can just… Zim? Zim! Hey Zim, answer me!" Dib waited for a response, but the connection between them had been cut. "Great," he grumbled to himself. "Now I have to go all the way across town like this. Could this possibly get any worse?"

Unfortunately, Dib would find out all too soon.