I did not want to be here. School was not an option for me, not now anyway. But we couldn't just skip school. We had to go. It would have been too suspicious if all of us suddenly missed a day.
And since Uryu is now dead and dead people can't just get up and go to school like living breathing people do. Yeah, people were used to us not being there all the time because we would ditch, but when we did ditch, it wasn't always the four of us at the same time. We didn't make it so obvious, but when I thought about it, I felt like people would find out and I just didn't want to risk it.
That meant we had no choice but go to school, to avoid the fact that Uryu, the student that close to never missed a day of school wasn't there and won't be for a very long time. That's just impossible for me. How the hell are we supposed to do this…are we just going to forget Uryu now, like we never even knew him?
So I told Grimmjow and Renji and they agreed with me, the two going back to their place to change and get ready. We left Uryu's body in the warehouse, hidden behind some crates we used as seats and some empty cardboard boxes. It's just messed up. How the fuck are we even dealing with this right now?
Worst of all, the image of Uryu's corpse, his glazed over eyes and pale skin became etched into my mind. I kept thinking about him and it just made my stomach do flips. I still felt so sick. It made me think about what Grimmjow and Renji were thinking right now, how they're feeling. We decided to figure shit out after school, and throughout the day to act normal, if people ask us about Uryu, we just tell them that he's probably sick or something.
I was being highly paranoid. But I couldn't help it! How was I supposed to feel? All calm and relaxed and chill? I freaking wish. I wish we never even pranked him in the first place.
Classes seemed to fly by but the time didn't occur to me at all. As if on instinct I grabbed books for each class, moved to the rooms and just sat there. Was I in shock? I couldn't even think straight, had trouble listening to the teacher. All I seemed to hear was gibberish. My appetite was just down the drain, I couldn't even feel anything. My own mind fucking me up, making me go all crazy inside but I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted someone to pinch me and wake me the fuck up from this nightmare. I wanted Uryu to wake up and be alive again, but I know he won't. I feel so helpless from these thoughts.
Here I was sitting in a class full of students like me. They were probably thinking about plans they had after school or even what they had for lunch. Not me. Oh no. I am going back to the warehouse after school to discuss plans for our dead friend whom we accidentally killed. I was non-stop thinking of Uryu's stiff figure, how he just lied there. Didn't move, didn't even twitch.
His eyes were the worst of all.
A loud bang made me jerk out of my thoughts with such force, my breath got stuck in my throat and I choked on some saliva. I literally jumped out of my seat to face Grimmjow staring at me like I'm a mental patient. It's already the end of school and I didn't even notice. Grimmjow had his hands in his pockets; his black bag was what made the loud bang as it was hurled onto my desk. Renji walked in looking extremely uncomfortable and paranoid. I'm guessing he's been as jumpy as I was the whole day.
"We need ta go back," Grimmjow spoke looking around the room that was now empty, other than the teacher packing up her things.
Nodding, I got up. Right now, I couldn't even speak. Words formed into sentences in my mind but my vocal ability wasn't letting me speak.
"Come on." Renji urged, his patience zero to none.
His eyes were wide open when Grimmjow took the blindfold off. He insisted we pull the silver duct tape off his mouth. I told him to do it. We were at the warehouse again, looming over Uryu's corpse. I couldn't even touch him. Renji walked away, sickened. I just stared at him, arms by my sides.
I stared at Uryu, stared at our dead friend. My dead friend. Grimmjow tried to close his eyes with his fingers.
"They're stuck."
I feel sick.
Cold and lifeless, he was once much more than that.
My fingers fidgeted. His lips had gone purple. That colour your toe nails go when they're cold.
But it was worse, far darker than I'd ever seen, almost black. He was whiter too. So white that I can't remember seeing someone that shade, ever. I shuddered by that look in his eyes. There were no light in his eyes, his spirit within gone completely.
I grabbed the blindfold and hid his eyes as quick as I possibly could. I couldn't take it anymore.
Not when he still had that look in his eyes.
Grimmjow muttered something under his breath, a cigarette hanging from his lips.
He looked tired. I wonder how I looked right now.
"What are we gonna do?" I asked, looking away from the corpse that lay on the floor near our feet.
Instead I looked at Renji. He was walking towards us, not looking down. He wouldn't look down. He wouldn't when there was a dead person lying on it. Renji looked me dead in the eyes. His eyes even looked lifeless. Dull. It was like he had no reason to live himself, like we all deserved to die. Just like Uryu.
"You know what we should do?" Renji spoke standing by my side. "We should…we should turn ourselves in. Say it was all one big accident."
Grimmjow scoffed.
"And then what, go to jail?"
My eyes grew wide. I hadn't thought about that. I didn't think about the consequences to our actions, our stupid, stupid fucking actions.
"I don't want to go to jail," my voice quivered. I frowned at how hard it had become to keep my voice composed.
"Neither do I! But Renji here, our buddy Renji wants us to tell the cops that we killed Uryu. When really…" Grimmjow's tone got deeper, darker. The vein in the side of his neck pulsed as he lost his short temper.
"We didn't even mean ta fuckin' kill him! I didn't mean to kill him, it's not ma fault he fuckin' died. So why should I go to jail! Huh?"
"We shouldn't," I gulped the massive lump in my throat away. "We shouldn't turn ourselves in."
We were all silent. After what felt like so long, Grimmjow puffed smoke out of his nostrils.
"I think I know what we should do."
Renji didn't speak a word. Neither did I. It was time to listen.
"We'll keep hiding him in here. No one comes to this warehouse other than us, so we keep him here. And we go to school like nothin' happened."
"His parents come home from their business trip in like two days. How are we gonna keep him hidden then?" Renji questioned, his voice sending shivers up my spine. He was right. After Uryu's parents come home they'd file their son missing. Soon the cops are gonna be crawling all over the school. They'll be all over us, all over me. Shit. And then they'll find out it was us all along.
Goosebumps prickled over my skin. Small and bumpy and all of my hair felt like it was standing up.
It's so wrong. But we left his body at the warehouse. Obviously, we all went home after because there was no point in hanging around there. I struggled to eat dinner with my family, but I forced myself to sit at the table and try, even if I lost my appetite. I didn't want to make my dad suspicious or anything. My little sister, Yuzu kept nudging me with one of her chopsticks, trying to get my attention.
"Yuzu…" I started, turning to face her but before I had a chance to breathe another word, Karin started speaking and I couldn't help but start to pay attention to her instead.
"Did you hear about the guy that died today? They found him in a warehouse just off the docks."
It felt like my stomach dropped and I swallowed the spit in my mouth wrong and started coughing, chopsticks falling from my hand and making loud clattering onto my plate.
Everyone at the table looked at me without a word.
"Yakuza," Dad said rather flatly, after I stopped hacking.
"That guy probably did them wrong, and got it handed to him."
Suddenly the feeling of something wrong filled my whole being and I didn't know what to say. I wasn't even thinking properly. But something is wrong nonetheless, Uryu is dead and we're hiding him in a warehouse hoping he won't get discovered. Then Karin goes ahead and decides to bring up news of some guy being found dead in a warehouse. Way to make me panic and start thinking of all the reasons I shouldn't be sent to jail. But that's right. The warehouse Uryu's in is nowhere near the docks. Trying to calm myself down, I tried clearing my mind and to breathe properly.
Soon after, I excused myself from the table. I couldn't stop thinking even if I tried. The thought of sleep dawned on me. There was no way I could sleep tonight. And even if I did, my sub conscious would be riddled by the image of Uryu's corpse, his eyes, his pale face and darkened lips. I would have nightmares for sure, but that also got me thinking of Grimmjow and Renji. They're probably thinking the same thing.
A/N I'm planning on this being a few chapters long. Right now, I wanted to place emphasis on Ichigo's thoughts and emotions. Further in there will be drama and violence.