I realise that if there is anyone but Sigyn reading this, they may believe she is treacherous and not to be trusted.
On the contrary, Sigyn is the one person I would trust with my heart entirely, even its darkest corners.
Sigyn's loyalty is to be commended. When I revealed myself to her, she had no questions about what she should do. She was fully dedicated to the friendship we had grown for so many years and to keeping peace in Asgard. She would not help me overthrow the order of things. She began to restore me, little by little, telling me that I could not do anything that I would not have done years before when we dreamed under the ancient boughs of the Oak of the things I would do when I was king. She kept my hand steady and my thoughts clearer than they had been in years. The brutality of kingship did not enter her doors and when I left and resumed that mantle, her words and kindness followed, slowly softening me until the day I slipped and released Odin early.
That day...oh, how beautiful it began.
Sigyn's courtyard was blooming, and the children were with her mother. We delighted in one another's company, our bodies entwined, the sun warm on our skin. We did not need the wine to make us relax into one another, the day itself had us drunk. We spoke of love and of a future we both knew would never happen. I left gifts for the children.
And when I returned to the palace, I forgot the spell was weakening and that I had to refresh it, to strengthen it, to keep Odin confined to his sleep.
Everything ended quickly, the smell of roses still lingering in my hair.
So here I sit. Flogged daily, of course, as a matter of routine, and the memory of that sunlight the last in my mind. I hope the day I die is dismal so I can leave with my eyes closed, holding that sunlight in my mind as the last I ever felt.