It's the middle of the day when I arrive at the warehouse. Grimmjow is already there, his car parked out the front. I park my dad's car at the front and walk towards the door. I notice that the steel lock that once locked up the place was now thrown to the ground. I suppose Grimmjow sees no use for it anymore.
"So," I say watching him closely. We're standing in the centre inside. Grimmjow appears calm on the outside. He didn't just lunge and attack me the moment I walked into the warehouse. Instead we stood there for a moment just watching each other. I don't see anything on him so I'm not sure if he brought anything to fight me with him. But who knows? He could always have something hidden up his sleeve to pull a surprise attack on me –unless of course he plans on killing me by using his fists on me. It's okay though, I'm not so worried. I didn't come empty handed.
I brought a knife with me.
"Are we going to 'settle' this?"
"Sure," Grimmjow says. "We'll settle this. But first I wanna know if it's going to be clean or dirty."
I stay quiet as I think about it. By 'clean' does he mean beating each other to a pulp using no weapons and resulting in death? Or by 'dirty' does he mean to go at it with each other with no mercy, to fight to the death and see who's the fittest to come out as the victor? In Grimmjow's case I don't see a clean fight. He never liked playing fair, and this time I won't either. So I tell him what he wants to hear.
"Dirty."
"Fine by me," Grimmjow begins to approach me.
My defenses are high, and I know I have to be careful and protect myself because Grimmjow doesn't seem like he's going to go easy on me. We're here to settle this shit after all. I don't think he knows about the knife I brought with me. I act normal, but I really feel like I've changed now. I don't feel like a very good person. I'm not playing fair now, am I?
When Grimmjow's close enough, he raises an arm at me. I, with my will to protect myself high, grab onto his arm. My nails dig into his skin. Grimmjow's expressionless for a moment but then he smirks like he realised something before saying, "you brought something with you, didn't you?"
"No," I lie.
He shakes his head. "Bullshit. You're lying."
"Well then, did you?" I ask. He must have something on him.
"No I didn't." He grins, then leans in close to whisper. "Because I know I can handle you with my bare hands." The words send a shot of goosebumps through me. He pulls back to look at me.
"I don't believe you, Ichigo."
"Good," I smile. "Don't believe me. Don't trust me either because I don't trust you." I tell him honestly. I'm sure he's already known this for a long time though.
"Then show me," he prompts, "yer hiding something."
I can't lie my way through Grimmjow. He may not show it, but he's actually not as stupid as he looks. He must know me well enough to know when I'm lying or hiding something from him. I think it's all in the eyes. Maybe my eyes gave it away, betrayed me by telling the truth silently. I pull the knife free from its hiding spot in the back of my jeans. There's no point hiding it if I'm going to use it. I show him. It glints when the light hits it and Grimmjow watches it silently. He's not afraid.
Stab him.
Do it.
The voice in my head sneers.
Fucking kill him.
"I will!" I growl, threatening to attack, gripping the handle so it doesn't slip from my fingers. I point the knife in Grimmjow's direction. What have I become?
He looks at me seriously. Seconds of silence pass by while I stand there and he stands there like he doesn't fear the blade.
"You will what?" Grimmjow finally asks with a smile on his face like he's teasing me, taunting me. "Kill me? I'd love to see you try." He probably thinks I won't do it, that I can't. Does he think that I'm not capable enough to hurt him? Grimmjow was capable of killing Renji. He proved it too when he did it. Then that must mean I am also capable of anything, I know that. I also know Grimmjow is very dangerous, and with his capabilities, it makes him even more. He's already killed one person; he wouldn't have any trouble killing me too. So I definitely won't take any chances with him. I won't risk my life.
I'll show him.
I swing the knife forwards, stabbing the air but missing Grimmjow. He pulls back, eyeing the knife in my hand. The grip I have on his arm is what keeps my hold on him as I roughly pull him back towards me. I'm quick to stab the knife forwards again, Grimmjow failing to pull back from it this time. I feel the knife pierce his skin; dig into him like a shovel in dirt.
I look into his eyes. His bright blue eyes go wide and he just stares at me, mouth open slightly like he just realised what I've done. It feels so surreal when he takes a sharp breath. His lips twitch.
"You…you fucking stabbed me!"
For all the years I've known Grimmjow, he can hide how he's really feeling. He's good at masking the pain. If he's upset, he won't whine about anything. He'll get angry. If he's angry, he'll lose control. His eyes look into mine, and it's those crystal orbs that tell me he's shocked, and in pain. I pull back to stare at what I've done. A good look shows me I've stabbed him in his left oblique. It's deep enough that the blood is quick to soak his shirt. There's a strong possibility this may kill Grimmjow. It would be from blood loss for sure. But then again, it may not. It would help to slow him down though.
God knows what Grimmjow will do now. I can't be certain, but I'm certain about something when it comes to him. He won't cry. He won't tell me that it hurts or that he's scared. Grimmjow will not just roll over and die either. Not even if he's put into a position of losing his life. The Grimmjow I know will do whatever it takes to fight his way through anything until his very last breath, even if it means killing me. He's my friend. He always was, even when I got so angry with him and even in those times he would say or do something that got to me. And now look at me. I've stabbed my best friend and he wants me dead for real. I'm not the one that has a knife stuck in me, but my insides sting and I know I got to push my emotions aside. I know that I can survive.
It reminds me of the time when we were younger and he found the warehouse and I didn't want him there. We got into plenty of fights, sure, but killing each other was never on the list. It's different now though. Things will never be the same, not when a knife is involved and the intent to kill strong.
Grimmjow looks at the knife in him. His hand grips the handle like he's contemplating on pulling it out. But he stops himself before he does it. Our breaths are hard and meld into each other's.
"You think yer better than me?" He says suddenly, quietly. I'm not so sure what he means. Better than him how? Better than him for me to live and him to die? Does he think that I don't deserve to survive? I want to ask him that but he doesn't give me any time. He growls at me, reminding me of his anger. I know he despises me for everything we've been through. For everything that's happened.
"You think you are!" He yells. "You think you can beat me, don't you?"
My mouth falls open. I don't have time to speak when Grimmjow lunges at me. He must be pumping full of adrenaline since he moves violently while the knife is still stabbed into him. I can't imagine how much it would hurt. My vision goes black for a split second as my back hits the hard cement. Pain shoots through my body. When I open my eyes I see Grimmjow on top of me with his teeth bearing in anger. His hand claps around my neck and I yell for air when I realise that Grimmjow's planning on choking me to death. What a fucking stupid way to die. I claw at his arm, knowing he's in for the kill because his grip on my throat tightens every time I try to pry his hand away. I'm coughing now, tears leaking from my eyes though I don't call for it. It's just my body's natural response to the lack of air and pressure on my neck.
When I see Grimmjow pick up a shard of glass left behind since the last incident, I feel my eyes go wide. We didn't clean the warehouse up since we had to deal with Renji's body. I realise that Grimmjow's going to kill me the same way he killed Renji. No way in hell will I let that bastard kill me like he killed Renji! It feels like everything is in slow motion when I see that shard of glass glint at me, and come down towards me. I push my body sideways, the speed of the situation coming back at me. The glass hits the cement just seconds away from my head. I look at it the same time Grimmjow does. The wound I inflicted on him may have disoriented him slightly. I look away from it to him. We lock eyes for a moment then before he can do anything else, I knee the handle of the knife stabbed into Grimmjow, pushing the blade further into his body. This is where he screams. He lets go of my throat and slumps forwards. I freeze from the sound. Goosebumps prickle all over my body. The warmth and blood from his body leaks onto me but I'm too stunned to even care. I don't think I've ever heard him scream like that, so…damaged. I push him off, forcing myself to stand and I make a run for it. Grimmjow can die if he thinks he can kill my friend's right before my eyes then attempt to murder me too.
The keys to my father's car get stuck in my jeans pocket, that's how frantic I am to get the hell out of there. When I finally manage to pull it out, I rush over to my dad's car. I'm just steps away from the car when the keys go flying from my fingers. I gape at the air then the ground, losing sight of them. The dread hits me like a ton of bricks.
I've lost the keys.
"Not now! Oh shit," I scream, eyes darting around the ground but the only thing I see are dirt and grass and I'm freaking out because they're nowhere to be seen and Grimmjow could come out any second and I know that he doesn't give a single fuck if he's injured because he's not going to let me get out of this alive.
I grab my face when waves of panic crash through me. I drop to the ground, feeling with my hands and looking for anything silver and shiny that could be the keys. I feel like a bloody idiot and I think I could burst out crying from the frustration any time soon. My hearts going off in my chest it feels like it's going to smash out. I'm struggling to breathe and my throat constricts and I realise that I've been hyperventilating.
Calm down!
Breathe dammit!
I stop moving suddenly and look at the road. I could always run. Maybe I could get out of there by foot, but it's not going to work if Grimmjow just gets into his car and drives after me. I need the car. I need to speed the fuck out of here! But first I have to calm down because if I don't then I'm going to die for real if I don't get my shit together.
I stand on shaky legs. I look up just in time to see Grimmjow stumble outside the warehouse. His bloodied hands grip the door to stop himself from falling. His shirt is soaked in blood and it drips down his jeans leg.
"Where the fuck do you think yer goin!" He yells out, voice rough.
I stare at him incredulously. What the fuck? Grimmjow looks like he's about to collapse any moment and he's got this maniac type grin planted on his face that freaks me out like this is some type of game. I must look surprised or something because he just takes a good look at me, throws his head back and lets out a throaty laugh. When he looks back at me he shakes his head, voice low and menacing as he speaks.
"I'm going to fucking kill you, Ichigo. I don't care if I have to take you down with me."
Oh hell. Fuck this shit. Grimmjow has lost the plot.
When he starts approaching, I start running –but not too far. I run circles around the car because I know I'm not getting out of here unless I find the keys. Grimmjow suddenly stops at the front of the car. I stop at the rear. It's the only thing between us.
"Why're you running?" He asks sarcastically, "yer the one doing the fucking stabbing!" He screams pointing at the knife stuck in him.
"Oh fuck you," I say before adding, "you were planning on killing me like you killed Renji!" I'm so pissed, and I know he's just as mad but I don't stop myself from letting it out. I've felt so much anguish over everything that's happened. "You never cared about Uryu, not even when it was an accident!"
Grimmjow growls at me. "Why should I? Fuck them! I'm glad they're dead. Now it's your turn. Come here!"
"Fuck no! If anyone deserves to die, it's you, Grimmjow. Uryu was innocent. Renji was innocent too but you didn't stop yourself."
Grimmjow doesn't say anything which gives me enough time to remember the little interview Urahara did with me. I smile to myself because I know I could tell Grimmjow about it and use it in a way to fuck with his head.
"What the hell are ya smiling at?" He yells. I just smile wider.
"I forgot to tell you something," I start, laughter spilling from my lips.
He stares at me like I'm about to tell him that Uryu and Renji have come back as zombies or something.
"What?" I can hear the edginess in his voice.
"Remember that detective, Urahara Kiskue? Yeah –he interviewed me again."
Grimmjow goes silent.
"I told him, Grimmjow. I told him everything you've done."
His face distorts and his mouth falls open. The colour from his face drains and he appears paler, skin clammy. It looks like he's really believing it too, the lies that I'm telling him. I never told Kiskue about Grimmjow murdering Renji, or how Uryu died. If I actually did tell the detective, they would have been at Grimmjow's door step the next minute to arrest him. I don't think I've lied so much before in my life, but this has changed me.
I continue to watch Grimmjow and he continues to look back at me. The knife in him must be making him gullible as much as it's made him lose his shit.
"So if you kill me," I continue, "then you have no way out of this. They'll come after you."
Grimmjow stands very still. His chest stops moving up and down like he's holding his breath –or maybe, he actually did stop breathing. He stares at me; eyes wider than before, like his eyeballs are going to pop out. Any minute, Grimmjow could explode.
"You stupid fuck!" He spits suddenly, making me jump. But I smile back at him and it only infuriates him more. "Don't mess with me, Kurosaki! I'll kill you then deal with myself later!"
Then it's like he flipped a switch in his brain to another level. He's raging, fuming, then suddenly starts running again and I can't believe he's doing this when he's so fucked up both mentally and physically.
"You won't kill me!" I yell at him, running around the car in the opposite direction. I'm beginning to lose hope in finding the keys in this frenzy. I keep glancing down and when I see something silver and shining up at me, I quickly drop, picking it up without even knowing what it is, just hoping it's the keys and not something else. Slight relief washes over me when it is in fact the keys. At this point a drizzle of rain has started but I could care less for that. My life is at stake here. A little rain won't cause a threat as big as what Grimmjow will.
I jump the front seat. Grimmjow's eyes go wide in realization. Yes, I'm getting the hell out of here! I start the engine and a loud bang sounds as Grimmjow jumps on the front of the car to stop me from going anywhere. His blood smears onto the windshield and I cringe, reversing so fast I press my foot against the break from freaking out and the back of my head slams into the seat. Grimmjow drops to the ground. I shift gears to drive. Grimmjow's on his hands and knees, spit dangling from his mouth while he looks down to the knife still in him. If he pulls it out it would be worse. I start driving, looking into the side mirror to see him behind me. I manage to drive away but not before watching Grimmjow grip the handle of the knife, steady himself, then yank the knife out, howling in pain.
I'm not long into driving when I see a car driving up fast behind me. It catches up for me to see who it is. I literally want to scream. To say Grimmjow is angry is an understatement. Grimmjow is fucking insane. I don't think I've ever known anyone as crazy as him. And now it's like something else has taken over his being. He looks like someone that escaped a mental institution or hospital –or both, as he grips the steering wheel, hunched over as he speeds up behind me. The front of his car bumps into the back of my dad's car and I can't help the shriek from leaving my lips. I frown into the rear view mirror, seeing him clearly.
I speed up. He speeds up. I'm doing at least 100 kilometers down a 60 road. I can't believe I'm doing this. The rain is now pelting down hard against the car. The wipers are on full speed. I turn my head to look back when Grimmjow bumps into the car again. A loud noise suddenly fills my ears and I have no idea what it is. I feel the tires lose grip against the wet road. The car uplifts on a side.
I look forward too late.
Tires screech and the car I'm driving launches into the air. I grip the wheel with my hands and my mouth falls open. My stomach drops. The car falls to the ground in a loud smash. My vision goes black.
I open my eyes.
I'm upside down.
The car's upside down.
I feel blood leaking down the middle of my face. My side burns. My whole body hurts.
My ears are ringing really loudly.
There's glass everywhere. Everything in the car has been flown around. The rain is still pelting down hard. I can see the road just below my head and it's wet from rain and I'm getting wet in the process. I let out a pathetic whimper from the pain. I don't know what the hell is going on. My mind is really distorted, my eyes blur and I can't even breathe properly. I look down on myself and think I'll start crying.
I crashed. I crashed.
"Oh shit…ah…shit…shit."
My breaths are short and uneven. Every time I try to take in more air my insides sting and I shudder and can't stop myself from panicking. My hands are shaking so bad when I hover it over the big, thick piece of glass sticking into me. It's cut through the skin above my hip and gone deep enough to make warm blood gush out from it. There's blood everywhere. I taste it in my mouth, in my nose, in the air. I don't know if I'm going to vomit or pass out. Now I know how Grimmjow felt. This pain is unbearable. How did he even run after me like that with a knife sticking in him? I move an inch and it feels like I'm going to snap in half. My whole body is trembling. I hear a door slam shut. My ears perk up. Oh no. No. no no no no!
Grimmjow's after me.
He must have stopped when he saw me crash. I breathe faster, trying to take in pathetic strained breaths as the glass sticking into me shoots pain through me. My eyes tear up. The only thing I can hear is the hard rain against the car. I close my eyes. This is the end of me.
When I open my eyes, Grimmjow's jeans and the dried blood leaked down his leg comes into view. My vision blackens out. When it comes back again I see Grimmjow now on his knees, looking into the car. He's upside down. Vision goes. Vision comes back. Grimmjow falls to his side, the rain drenching him. His shirt is soaked completely in rain and blood, dark blue hair flat against his head. His breaths appear shallow and slow. Mine are too. He watches me for a while, then his eyes slide to the side and he's looking at something else but I'm not quite sure what.
I do the one thing that comes to mind in that split second. I sit up a bit, biting my lip from the intense pain that's threatening to knock me out. I pull out my phone.
Dial dad.
It rings. I pray to god he answers but I must be a very bad person because my prayers reach deaf ears and the line goes dead when he doesn't answer. No one will help me now.
I'm dizzy from being upside down –or blood loss, or whatever. I don't know. All I know is that I've made big mistakes one after the other and this is where I die along with Grimmjow. He was right. We'll both go down together. But then I jolt when the idea hits me. I go through my contacts quickly; swiping through names until I reach the one that I hope will stay by her word when she told me she would help me.
I press call and wait.
On the third ring she picks up. My voice must sound really horrendous because she sounds freaked out.
"Ichigo? Ichigo are you alright? Hey!"
"Rukia…" I croak.
My phone beeps telling me the reception is low and it might hang up any time soon. So I tell her where about I think I crashed, to be careful and that Grimmjow's just as fucked up as I am.
The phone hangs up.
I close my eyes. I'll just rest them for a bit. I won't fall asleep…
I fall into a dark pit somewhere in my mind as unconsciousness takes over me.
A/N: Holly shit that was intense to write and a pretty long chapter compared to the previous ones. So I hope you enjoyed this chap! What do you think about it? And thank you for reviewing, I greatly appreciate it!