'This… changes things.'
Naruto glanced over at his future teammates, using his hidden Sharingan to observe their reactions closely.
Akina looked a bit relieved to be with Sasuke, although she kept sneaking glances over at him out of the corner of her eye. Sasuke didn't seem to know whether to be angry or relieved, so his face was carefully blank as his eyes kept trained on where Iruka stood.
'Arrogant bastard. You have no idea what's coming to you.' Naruto thought with irritation. Somehow, the team didn't strike him as all that bad, but maybe he was just looking forward to imposing a lifetime of pain onto Sasuke. He said a lifetime only because he doubted he'd be letting that cockroach of an Uchiha live when he razed Konoha to the ground.
"Kakashi Hatake will be your Jonin Sensei!" Iruka called. From where he had been sitting next to Kushina in the stands, the man got to a slouched stand, before pulling out a small orange book and leaning against a nearby pillar, the very picture of bored disinterested.
Akina was fuming. She shot a look that could have melted steel over towards her parents. Kushina looked away, anxiously. Kakashi didn't seem to notice at all.
'Hmmph. At least their daughter can see the obvious favoritism.' Naruto thought to himself.
'This might be useful though. After all, I'll need to understand my enemies very well before I can strike.'
Naruto leaned back in his chair, and relaxed. Sasuke bristled at his side, but continued looking at their new Sensei with apprehension. Naruto wasn't surprised.
'Going after his daugher? Yeah, this team isn't going to a pleasant place for you, Sasuke Uchiha. I guarantee it.'
Iruka called out some other unimportant team assignments. Naruto ignored them.
The room fell into the same quiet humming that Naruto had learned signified gossip. Listening intently with hearing accentuated by his Uzumaki heritage, he heard light mutterings from his classmates.
"...figures…"
"Hokage's daughter, she's obviously going to…"
"...they say it's all rigged."
Naruto snorted derisively, eyeing Kakashi and Kushina with equal disdain. 'For a village that is all about these stupid fucking morals, they could at least stick to them. What a joke.'
The other mediocre ninja and their sensei filtered out of the room bit by bit. Naruto analyzed the boys in passing to see if they were worth considering. The girls, on the other hand, he inspected in detail to see if they were - well, that was fairly obvious.
When the first couple of teams left, Naruto was fully prepared to leave, and sat upright and at attention, trying to catch Kakashi's eye. The man, however, fully remained engrossed in his adult literature, humming a jaunty tune and occasionally turning the page with a giggle.
Sasuke blinked. Akina was burying her head in her hands, and seemingly making her best efforts to die silently.
Oh, Naruto knew this guy's game. Fine. Whatever. He wouldn't give in first. Naruto had plenty of experience with the waiting game.
That was a lie, Naruto conceded. He had absolutely zero experience with 'the Waiting Game'. But Naruto was a man of necessity, and now he would. Naruto gritted his teeth and took to counting the ceiling tiles.
Each team had made an exit, and eventually the simmering, constant chatter in the room became a terse silence, filled only with the scraping of paper on paper as Kakashi turned the page every minute or so.
Naruto guessed that Akina wouldn't be on speaking grounds with her father right now. Sasuke was an icy prick, and Naruto was - just - just not enough of a loser to speak to Kakashi. Yeah. That was it. Whatever. He was not going to give in. He'd die before he lost to a Konoha ninja.
Iruka didn't even bother to excuse himself in the end, awkwardly looking between them, shuffling his papers, and leaving quietly.
There were 231 tiles on the ceiling. Naruto had checked three times.
A bird crowed, and Kakashi looked to his wrist, raising his one visible eyebrow at it. There was no watch there. "Ah! Is that the time?"
Akina lifted her head up to look at Kakashi with a gaze that could have drilled holes through walls. Sasuke said nothing; Naruto breathed in deeply through his nose, and breathed out slowly.
"Well," he said, not taking his eyes away from the erotica for a single moment, "You should have said something. Don't be so docile. I'll be on the roof. Don't be late."
The three of them moved in an awkward cacophony after a long period of silence. Akina stood up first, the legs of her chair screeching against the floor as she slowly rose. She exhaled deeply.
Sasuke walked quietly towards the door, hands in pockets, but had a particularly aggravated look about him.
Naruto cracked his shoulders, before sighing.
He should have known the ANBU were all crazies.
Amazingly, however, Naruto arrived on the roof to absolutely no teacher. Sasuke leaned against the fence, Akina sat on the steps looking bored, and Naruto lay down, hands behind head, looking at the sky.
"Is this a joke?" Sasuke muttered at last.
Akina put her head in her hands and shook her head.
"It's just not funny enough for that."
It really wasn't. Naruto felt drained. He could have been on guard for hours in wait of the enemy and felt fine. This was something different altogether. It was like someone had sucked the life out of him. But he was alive, and survival, Naruto decided, qualified as a victory in the Waiting Game.
Naruto felt Sasuke's gaze carefully keeping account of Naruto. He snorted. Like he couldn't do anything under his supervision anyway.
"Sorry I'm late!"
Kakashi arrived. Late. Naruto retained every modicum of control he had, and said absolutely nothing. He hated this man with every fibre of his being; that was certain.
"You see, a black cat crossed my path and I had to take the long way around, you know?" Kakashi continued. He gave a longing look to his book before he closed it and tucked it into his pouch.
"Well," he said, giving them all a bored and un-attentive look, "we should start with introductions."
Naruto rolled his eyes. 'Introductions?'
The three of them sat in silence, staring straight at Kakashi. The man prompted them to continue.
"You know," he said, "what you like, what you don't like, your hobbies… and your dreams. Things like that."
Again, the three said nothing, until Sasuke, staring over the connected bridge of his hands, raised an eyebrow and offered his answer in a low tone. "You go first."
Kakashi sighed.
"You three are so cold." He adjusted his seating on the fence. It was distinctly unrelaxed and sloppy, Naruto noticed. It could mean one of two things: terrible, terrible ninja training, or complete and utter genius. Naruto knew the one he thought it was.
"I don't really want to tell you about what I like and dislike," Kakashi pondered for a moment. "Hobbies? I have plenty… and as for dreams, well, I haven't thought about it."
Naruto had never come so close to losing his composure in his whole life.
"Your turn," Kakashi said, looking at Naruto. The boy snorted.
"I'm Torami Nobuko," he said. "I like wine-tasting and frolicking in large obscure meadows. I don't like sporks or duck-butt hair."
Naruto looked pointedly at Sasuke. The message wasn't hard to get, but, maybe the boy secretly was a spork.
"My hobbies include pretending to be a sunflower and churning butter… and I dream most nights."
Akina turned to him, very, very slowly, and wordlessly communicated an instantaneous 'Are you fucking kidding me right now?'
Sasuke stared into the distance and waited for it all to end.
Kakashi didn't flinch however, and turned his gaze to the last Uchiha with a bored tone. "And you."
The boy's look darkened. "I'm Sasuke Uchiha. I dislike manipulation and liars, and I don't really like anything."
Naruto rested his jaw on his fist and waited for the end of the brooding ritual.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow.
"I don't have a dream - but I do have an ambition," Sasuke continued. "To revive my clan, and kill a certain man."
'Itachi? I'm not sure whether to feel amusement or pity.' Naruto thought. 'A bit of both really.'
Akina said nothing, looking at him from the corner of her eye, and Kakashi looked as intrigued as someone with set-in-stone bored features really could. It wasn't much, but it was enough.
"And," Kakashi said at last, turning to his daughter, "you."
Naruto perked up now. Akina had been quiet all today. He didn't know whether it was through nervousness, or a lack of care, or whether she was usually like that. It was hard to tell. He didn't know anything about her; what she was like as a ninja, what she liked doing-
Not that he cared. It wasn't like that.
Either way, he scuffled forward minutely, at attention for this young girl. Short of stalking her closely, he doubted he'd get more honest information than this. She opened her mouth.
"I don't feel like talking about it."
Kakashi raised an eyebrow at her. "Don't you?"
Akina shrugged. "No. Sorry."
Kakashi shrugged, leaning back. "Well," he said, "that's that then, isn't it? Anyway. We have a mission tomorrow."
The three of them stared him again.
"Such an uncurious group," Kakashi sighed. "It's a survival exercise."
Akina narrowed her eyes. "Exercise? We didn't leave the academy to do more exercises."
"It's a little bit more than that," Kakashi whispered. "It's got a 33% pass rate, and if you fail, you get sent back to the academy."
Naruto blinked.
"What? How the hell does the academy manage to produce ninja if we're only allowing 9 graduates through each year?"
"It is how it is," Kakashi said, shrugging. "Quality over the common fodder ninja, I guess. Either way, bring all of your tools. We begin at 5AM. Any questions?"
The three of them stood in a blunt silence.
Naruto looked at the other two - there was a worry, in their tense posture and muscles. He didn't really have any doubt about it at all. After all, it wouldn't matter if typical ninja like them dropped out.
"One question, actually."
The two ninja turned to Naruto. The boy looked Kakashi in the eye.
"Why are you showing such blatant favoritism towards your daughter?"
The silence was tangible, and Kakashi raised an eyebrow, leaning forward to maintain a strong condescending eye contact with the young boy.
"The real question is," Kakashi sang, "why are you such a blatant enemy spy?"
Naruto froze.
'There's… there's no way,' he thought. 'How the hell could he have- in such little time- he's-!'
"What?" Naruto quipped. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Kakashi hummed, placing a finger on his chin. "Well, I've never seen you in that class before. You also arrived on this team without any real notice. Now, why is that, I wonder?"
Naruto felt his heart trembling in his chest, and his hands shaking very slightly.
"I transferred," he said, pushing back a stammer but being unable to avoid a prolonged pause. "From 2C."
Kakashi's appraising stare sent shivers up Naruto's spine. It was like being watched by an owl as a tiny juicy mouse. He waited a long moment.
Kakashi sat back, tucked his hands in his pockets, and smiled light-heartedly. "Ah, that explains it, then."
Naruto let out a deep breath slowly through his nose, feeling his shoulders relax, and he watched the man carefully as he looked across the three genin.
'This man,' Naruto thought. 'He's dangerous, and too sharp by a half. I need to be careful.'
"As I said, 5AM tomorrow. Don't bother eating breakfast, you'll just throw up."
Kakashi whipped out his book, engrossed himself in the page, and lifted a hand. "Bye-bye."
He disappeared quickly, with a whirl of leaves. Naruto rolled his eyes. 'Pretentious ass. Walking probably would have been easier anyway.'
After the leaves had settled, Naruto stood up, cracking his back, and eyed the young girl at his side. She looked to be deep in thought, and was scowling somewhat.
He offered her his hand to her, employing a charming curl of the lips.
Akina looked up at him. Naruto really didn't have time for such a stubborn nature, but he was a sucker for the forbidden fruit. Painfully aware of Sasuke's probing gaze upon him, Naruto disguised his eyes and allowed Akina a flash of the Hoshokugan, the Mangekyo spinning a fantastic distortion of her reality.
Her expression softened from a scowl to more of a soft, observing look. Her lips parted, but she said nothing, expression twisting as though in soft recognition of a mistake. It was a soft, sweet look on her, but she still didn't say anything, and she still didn't make a move to take his hand.
"Akina-chan?" Naruto intoned smoothly, his voice humming with charm.
Akina was abruptly yanked back by Sasuke's hand on her arm. The Uchiha gave Naruto an irrefutable scowl.
"Akina," Sasuke said, locking gazes with Akina and giving her a raise of the eyebrows. "We were going to leave, remember?"
The girl looked at Sasuke, wide-eyed and confused, before she blinked slowly, turning back to give Naruto an appraising glance before nodding. Sasuke relinquished his grip on her arm, and Akina began walking towards the steps.
Sasuke took a single step before he turned his head to Naruto with a murderous look, and he grabbed the material of Naruto's shirt and yanked the boy forward. The Uzumaki merely raised his eyebrow, and he was rewarded with Sasuke's tightening jaw and a sharp pull on his shirt.
"I will expose you," he hissed, breath warm on Naruto's face. "And if you dare try to pull that on Akina again, I'll sacrifice my standing as a ninja of Konoha to kill you where you stand. Whether you're meant to be my teammate or not."
Naruto eyed him, looking bored. "Yes, Sasuke Uchiha."
Sasuke threw the boy backwards, aiming to throw him to the ground, but Naruto dug into the graveled roof with his heel.
"Are we done here?" Naruto asked with a questioning eyebrow, adjusting his clothing. Sasuke clenched his fists, and felt himself tremble with anger, but denied it control over him. He walked over to Akina, grabbed her by the wrist, and turned away, determined not to give Torami another second of his time.
Naruto couldn't help but laugh. He put his hands in his pockets, took in a deep breath of the summer's air, and thought about what he'd do today.
Well, he could go train in his private room. Naruto was curious what sorts of goodies were waiting to be found in there. Or, he could go find a girl to toy around with. Hinata was ripe for the picking, but he just didn't feel like it.
Cracking his neck, Naruto let a smile crawl onto his face, and he unbound his hand to reveal the white construction that was Zetsu. It morphed to reveal the slit of a smile and an uncanny grin.2
"How can I help you, Naruto great and powerful?" Zetsu snickered, before his voice filtered into a drawling moan. "Man, it's been stuffy and boring here. You haven't killed a single person since we got here."
Naruto sighed at the pseudo-pout on the clay-like arm, but allowed a slight grin to show as he brought the arm up to his mouth, eyes curling in amusement.
"That might be changing very soon, Zetsu," he whispered. "Now, what do you know about the Hyuuga patriarch?"
Zetsu's lips contorted into an unsettling smile.
The scenery outside of the Hyuuga compound was what one would expect on the outskirts of town. Houses littered the street, but it was relatively close to the village's training grounds, and nature and growth were rife and whispering like hushed children in the night.
Koichi and Momoko Hyuuga sat at their station at the outside of the Hyuuga compound. Both fairly experienced in their patrols, Koichi in particular, they had their Byakugan activated. It was, however, a less focused and intricate view than most, a fuzzy overview of the whole area that meant their job was a whole lot easier. It did mean, however, that the shifts were shorter, and you tended to be very tired afterwards. They were experienced in their work together, however, and tended to take this long shift each night. So, Koichi supposed, the silence between them was comfortable.
Momoko smoked. Heavily. Koichi didn't even think she was allowed to smoke right now, but she did anyway, and as she so eloquently put it, 'no stuck-up main house Hyuuga is going to tell me what's what when I'm the one out here every damn night'.
He liked Momoko. She was very laid back.
Despite his experience, Koichi had his suspicions that Momoko was better at the job. It was a little irritating, but mostly useful. It took a bit of weight off his shoulders, and that was always good.
Leaning against the wall, Momoko's gaze suddenly narrowed. She withdrew the cigarette from her mouth and twisted it into the chalky stone of the wall.
Koichi raised an eyebrow.
"What is it?"
Momoko reached down to her thigh, pulling her finger through the loop of a single kunai. She didn't turn to Koichi.
"Someone's coming," she said.
Koichi frowned, not even bothering to unfold his arms. "Are you kidding, Momo? There's no one here for at least a mile."
Momoko shook her head, and her eyes were held slight twinges of fear in their pearly surfaces.
"No," she said again. "Something's coming."
She drew the kunai up to her front in an icepick stance, and she moved forward from the wall. Koichi exhaled, but followed suit, pulling out a kunai and moving carefully beside her through the underbrush. There was something in Momoko's expression, and he knew Momoko for what she was; lazy. A lot of the time it was hard to tell whether she was underestimating her opponents and overestimating her luck all at once, or whether she was just so skilled an analyst that she just knew.
He didn't know which to believe, but he definitely wasn't the type to test his luck. He moved forward with caution.
Momoko, leading the way, abruptly put her palm in front of Koichi to stop his advance. He looked at her, but she didn't meet his gaze.
There it was; indeed, a shadow. Koichi tried to focus his Byakugan; sure enough, there was certainly something there, but it was so shadowy, so easy to pass over, and it felt to him as natural as any of the trees did. An animal, he wondered? Even then, he could see no trace of chakra. His Byakugan couldn't focus on it.
The thing came into a beam of moonlight through the canopy above them. It was a young boy, with dark hair.
Momoko said nothing, and Koichi could see her hand trembling, so he spoke first.
"What do you want?" he hissed. 'I still can't see his chakra. Just what the hell is going on?'
Momoko's arm shook, and she began to step backwards, shaking her head.
"Koichi," she said. "Run."
Koichi looked back at her, confused and horrified all at once as her head split apart to reveal a white gelatinous mass that bore wings that sprouted like horns from it and then wet, ghastly feathers that were strung away from one another like the splitting of an infected wound.
Momoko, on the other hand, felt it.
Naruto smiled contentedly at the two shrieking ninja captured in genjutsu, and letting his Sharingan shimmer away, proceeded to step over their twitching bodies with his hands in his pockets.
'Ah, women,' Naruto thought. 'Such fascinating, beautiful creatures, but to care about them is a mere obstacle. You've an arrow in you yet, Koichi Hyuuga. Not that you'd be fair opposition if you had not.'
He continued towards the entrance of the Hyuuga compound. It was all very clean, and well supervised; after White Zetsu had spent some time explaining the Hyuuga traditions, Naruto supposed the Bird-Cage Seal was a fair idea. After all, protecting such eyes efficiently required the eyes themselves, and putting guards out put them at risk of kidnap. Having Branch members instead made way for a severe reduce in risk. For a prick with more issues than relatives, it wasn't the dumbest idea Naruto had ever heard. Thattitle went straight to the continued existence of Sasuke Uchiha.
Morphing the Hoshokugan into the Mangekyo Sharingan with the scraping crash of crumbling glass, he made his way through the main path of the complex and towards the building of the main clan. He encountered no resistance in the street, perhaps by the assumption that the guards had let him in. Or, everyone could just be asleep. That would just be embarrassing, though.
He suspected it was the case. When he had almost made it to the doors, white-eyed guards pounced on him with hands alight and weapons drawn but it took a simple glance to send them screaming to the floor. Naruto could just kill them and keep the noise down, but the attention kept things interesting and really, there was nothing fun about terminating clans in their entirety bar a single young heir.
Just kidding. Itachi had probably had a ball. But it didn't suit Naruto's purposes, so he just left a trail of screaming, crying ninja in his wake. And all was at peace in the world.
Halfway down the hall, a door drew open to reveal Hiashi, leaning on an aged wooden cane with a look of fury in his eyes. He looked frail, but his voice boomed off of the wooden walls like the hammer of a judge.
"You," he said. "What is your business here? What have you done with my daughter?"
Naruto let his hands meet in a sarcastic round of applause, stepping forward. "Good to see you at least noticed she was gone," Naruto said. "Better than I'd expected of you."
Hiashi narrowed his eyes, and Naruto sighed, shrugging.
"If you really want to know, she's doing just fine," Naruto continued, adjusting his belt and checking his fingernails for dirt. "She's free of you, and I'd definitely say she's better for it. After all, you've never really cared about her, right?"
Naruto heard the tap of Hiashi's cane hitting wood, and the man leveled him a stare that promised pain and retribution. Two guards made their way behind Hiashi, standing at his side and watching Naruto with eyes that nigh-glowed in the darkness.
"Your stay in the T&I department will be prolonged and painful, Torami Nobuko," Hiashi hissed. "Though I have my doubts that is your true namesake at all, by the end, we will know exactly who you are, and we will make no mistake in letting you live. I'd daresay you'll agree."
Naruto stepped forward, quickly pulling kunai into either hand and settling into an offensive stance.
"Man, you bastards are arrogant," he said, his casual, bored disposition simmering into an aura that demanded attention.
Hiashi moved forward with a speed that resembled none of his slow, scuffling appearance.
"Speak for yourself, child!" he roared, almost making a fiery, impressive contact with Naruto's chest.
A kawarimi was left in his place, Naruto using the appearance of the log to jump off of it and smash through the roof.
Naruto had underestimated him. Not that it wasn't a speed he could match five times over, but Hiashi was a deceptive man that managed his every twitching movement with a control that would have rivaled Itachi's.
He settled on the roof, and Hiashi was up there in an instant, giving him no time to gain his bearings as he rushed Naruto with his hands ablaze. The boy dodged beneath the first hit, before launching a kick upwards into the hit that Hiashi had misjudged.
The impact glanced off of Hiashi's shoulder, and he was given a moment to move backwards and take account once again. Naruto reached into his pouch, withdrawing a handful of kunai and launching them forward with accuracy unprecedented.
Hiashi moved into the Kaiten, his movement ascending almost instantly into a heavenly blue spin that sent Naruto's weapons clattering to the ground. It was an impressive movement, and Naruto quickly activated his Sharingan.
Not that Naruto had wanted to crush Hiashi so embarrassingly - a lie, actually, Naruto hated him - but the man wasn't an idiot. There was an obvious wisdom about him.
And maybe there were more efficient methods, but Naruto would be a liar if he said he didn't enjoy a bit of a flair to his work.
He watched carefully and maneuvered around Hiashi's glowing palm attacks. The man was moving entirely offensively, but was just about fast enough to accomplish it with efficiency.
There was an abrupt opening at last, when his palm moved with momentum so much so that he was sent slightly off balance. Naruto jumped backwards and off of his hands to make some distance, and let the gleaming amber of his eyes fracture into a soft, milky white.
Hiashi Hyuuga froze at the sight, and Naruto, the rounded fighting style of the Hyuuga imprinted into his mind by the Sharingan, proceeded gleefully into the Gentle Fist.
"How in the- the Byakugan?" Hiashi whispered in disbelief, barely dodging Naruto's first hit and being hit cleanly by the second to his sternum. It sent a wave of painful, alien chakra through his gut, and his stomach convulsed. He wretched, trying to gather his senses and move to the side only to be caught in an unclean, brutal kick that caught him by the arm with a crunch of his bones and sent him rolling across the roof-tiles.
Hiashi tried to stand up. An acute channel of pain pulsed through his arm, and he winced, gathering his resolve and pushing himself to his knees with his uninjured arm.
His guards were at his side immediately, one lifting him by the shoulders and the other at his side.
"Lord Hiashi! Your arm-"
"I know," he bit back. "You must report this to the Hokage, at all costs. This man is a risk to Konoha and its people. He must not be allowed to continue… and with eyes like that…!"
"Don't like my eyes, Hiashi-sama?" Naruto sneered, walking forward and kicking aside shattered rooftiles as he did. "It must hurt you to see your god-given techniques and dojutsu robbed from you in an instant."
Hiashi looked at his guards with a look of urgency, getting to his feet. "You must go."
"But Lord Hiashi, you'll-"
"Ah, don't fret," Naruto said, smiling sympathetically with a hand on his hip. "I'll make the decision for you."
Hiashi heard it before he saw it. A splitting squelching that sucked and crawled like a fast-moving slug, and he could hear the sticky movement of gooey flesh against air as his guards desperately tried to breathe. The moment it unstuck itself from their throat, the mouth full of blood that had been bulging at the top of their mouths sprayed out of their dry gasping lips and onto Hiashi.
He looked to them, their blood trailing down his face. Out of their mouths crawled an opaque, clay-like and viscous at once thing with no eyes or mouth but tiny talon like hands and feet that it extended at will to hook onto the outside of their faces for leverage to push itself out. One took with it a tooth impaled upon its talon as it climbed out of their mouth and scrambled down his guard's body with the disorganised movement of a spider that convulsed and morphed like a sickness. The two things scrambled from the blood-stained, infested bodies and crawled up Naruto's and onto his shoulder, cooing and whispering into his ear like long-time companions.
"Stop worrying about those," Naruto smirked, bringing up a hand to pet the rodent-spider-esque beasts, "And worry about yourself."
Hiashi felt something shift and giggle in his gut, and his eyes widened in horror. He could feel them scratching.
His lips were wet now; he brought his hand up to them, and drew it away to see the smear of blood.
"W-When did you…?"
Naruto stepped towards the man, who was buckling and shaking with the pain of the talons poking through the stomach and clawing at his heart.
"Why," Naruto said, beaming at him, "Before I even moved into the compound. What fool do you take me for, Hiashi?"
Hiashi was coughing the blood up in spades now, clutching at his stomach and scratching at the flesh and wishing they'd just split open his flesh and escape. The ones on Naruto's shoulder snickered to themselves, before sidling along Naruto's arm and morphing into it at its end.
"Following Hiashi Hyuuga's tragic assassination at the hands of a rogue Kirigakure shinobi," Naruto continued, "Hinata Hyuuga will be unanimously elected as clan head."
The man scowled between the racking, hacking coughs, falling to his knees and clasping his mouth. The blood squeezed between his fingers.
"Coward," Hiashi hissed. "Coward."
Naruto snorted. "Her bitch of a sister, they decide, can spend the rest of her life with a seal on her head, and threat of death hanging over her."
Hiashi looked at him with such an honest, desperate hatred, writhing on the floor at this point.
"Not…" He struggled for the words, blood trickling from his pursed lips, "Not my family…!"
Naruto leant down, on one knee, and gave the man the most condescending look he could muster, unable to push down a smile. His eyes rippled into a golden amber, and the whites into a sludge-like, festering black. He leaned to touch heads with the man.
"Enjoy your time in hell, Hiashi," Naruto smirked. "They aren't as lenient as I am."
The Hoshokugan bore down on Hiashi Hyuuga with all the judgment in the world, and the man crumpled like paper and died.
The final piece of Zetsu emerged from the man's mouth like a long, footed rat, scurrying up to join the rest of his arm.
His eyes appeared on the back of Naruto's hand, eyeing the boy with a greedy look.
"Huh. Went better than expected."
He licked his lips. "Can I eat the branch guys?"
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Just one. I need to send Hidan back something, after all."
He took his hand to Hiashi's jaw, turning the man's head about and examining him.
"Then again, he won't be needing those eyes of his. I'm sure Leader would be happy with such a gift."
Naruto came home whistling a cheery tune and flicking at splashes of Hiashi Hyuuga's dried blood on his clothes.
The guy was pretty respectable, he'd concluded. Naruto could respect total assholes for what they were: total assholes. Although he didn't appreciate that loser bagging on Hinata -
Oh, man, Hinata.
The young girl came out from his right. She was in a dressing gown, scrubbing at her eyes and shaking with sobs.
"T-Torami-kun," Hinata hiccuped, breathing in deeply before shaking and bursting into tears midway. She fell to her knees.
"Hinata-chan!"
Her lips trembled. "I… My… M-My father…"
Naruto looked at her, his face the very picture of gentility and sympathy.
"Hinata-chan," he asked, drawing her closer and weaving his fingers in between hers, "What is it? Are you alright?"
"M-My father… he's… he's…"
Hinata cracked into a wail. "He's d-dead!"
Her sobs echoed through the halls. Naruto hummed into her ear, muttering to her sweetly and pulling her closer to him. Her tears were wetting his shirt.
Naruto supposed he could deal with her being sad, but then, why bother when he could make it less painful for the both of them?
Rubbing her shoulder with one hand, Naruto tilted her gaze to his with a light push on her chin, casting an elaborate genjutsu. It was similar to the one he'd used to make her more pliable, but luckily toned down those hysterical emotions. Grief didn't need to be so overt, in any case.
"Do you feel better?" Naruto asked gently.
She stared up at him, wide eyed and in confusion.
"I… yes," she murmured. "I don't understand…"
"It's alright Hinata. You're too kind, even to those who don't deserve it, like your father." Naruto felt his face twist into a grimace remembering the man.
"Still… he-"
"Hinata," Naruto said, cutting her off. "He was a cold, arrogant, heartless man who let his daughters compete under the threat of virtual enslavement. He isolated you Hinata. He hurt you."
"I.." Her eyes looked vacant and melancholy.
"I know he was your father, but he's gone now." Naruto said. "What's more, I suspect you will be made the clan head, which gives you the opportunity to be free again. The Hyuuga will have no choice but to listen to you if you want to explore other interests, or even move in here."
"C-Clan head?" Hinata squeaked. "I don't know what to do! I'm not ready…"
Naruto let her curl into his chest, her breasts pressing against him warmly.
"Don't worry. I'll help you." he said, flashing her a grin.
"For now, why don't you get some rest. You've had a rough day."
A quick genjutsu had the girl fall limply into his arms, and Naruto brushed aside a strand of hair from her pale face.
"I'll see you later, Hinata-chan."
Lifting her up into a bridal carry, Naruto rolled his neck, and made his way into the master bedroom.
Although Naruto was kind of into that vulnerable-state kind of thing, seeing her tears had put him out of the mood, and he really needed to get cleaned up.
Settling her onto the silk sheets, Hinata shifted, curling up into a foetal position, and Naruto changed quickly, discarding his used clothes onto the bed.
Rifling through his wardrobe - which was the same outfit, over and over again - Naruto wondered what to do. Even killing that bastard of a father had only given him a temporary adrenaline high.
Being around the Akatsuki was a fulfilling experience, but here in Konoha it seemed he couldn't help but feel bored no matter what. He needed something else to do. Preferably something that inconvenienced Konoha as much as possible.
Pulling on his top, Naruto got a sudden burst of inspiration.
Thinking about Kushina Hatake's face, Naruto couldn't help but smile defiantly. It was time to test his limits a little. After all, he was a ninja.
"Well," Naruto muttered, wiping a smudge of chocolate sauce off Konoha's coveted Forbidden Scroll of Sealing, "That was shit."
Konoha had, if possible, managed to undercut his expectations even further than before. How the fuck had it been so easy? Did no-one care at all about whether Konoha was destroyed? Not that he did, but surely these people who went on about the village could at least try and defend a scroll containing all their most dangerous techniques.
Typical Konoha nin. All talk about protecting the village and your friends, and a complete and utter failure to do so. He didn't know what he'd been expecting. It was just a fascinatingly poor performance, really.
Naruto wondered absent-mindedly, sinking his teeth into another bite of chocolate-filled doughnut, how the hell the presumably inbred and genetically bottle-necked ninja of Konoha had managed to produce a ninja like Itachi.
Rubbing at the stain on the ancient parchment, Naruto frowned. The chocolate wasn't coming off. Oh well.
Removing his thumb from that spot, he saw the lines of writing beneath it.
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu," he murmured, running his finger along the characters. "S-rank kinjutsu. Banned for extremely high chakra consumption. Seals…"
Naruto leant back and made a seal with his fingers, preparing to say the technique name when he felt the powerful rush of chakra and presence as a hundred Naruto's filled the forest behind him.
Looking around, he laughed.
"It was like it was made just for me!"
Dispelling his clones, Naruto put his hands in his pockets and headed home.
It was time for some rest. The bell test tomorrow would no doubt be a lot of fun… and if Sasuke didn't pass, maybe Naruto would have a shot at being free of his miserable mug.
Locking his door behind him, he considered going to see Hinata, but had no illusions about her emotional state. She was way too emotional for Naruto to be dealing with at this time of night. That, and he doubted she'd want to be around him right now.
Stretching, Naruto ran his hands through his hair, kicked off his gear, and went to bed.
Naruto made his way to the training grounds at a leisurely pace.
After all, he reasoned, that asshole Kakashi sure wouldn't be there yet. In fact, he should be grateful that Naruto was even making time for his arrival at all. If Naruto could be bothered, he'd have waited an extra hour just to make sure that he kept Kakashi waiting for a little bit.
But really, this was the trump card, for Naruto. He'd had a good breakfast, plenty of sleep, and Kakashi's late arrival would all be for nothing. Ha. That, and Sasuke, who'd probably actually bothered following their idiot sensei's "instructions", would no doubt be tired and hungry. Just as he should be. Moron.
All was going according to plan.
"Hello, Naruto."
He froze.
That- what-
"You're rather late," Kakashi continued, engrossed in his book as he made his way towards Naruto. "In fact, you've kept the whole team waiting."
Naruto turned to look incredulously at Sasuke and Akina. Sasuke, in particular, looked murderous.
"If you've finished slacking off and disobeying my orders, shall we begin the test?"
Naruto gaped for a moment, before regaining his composure and smirking. After all, Naruto still had an advantage here, he reminded himself. A functioning brain, unlike all the other dunces.
"Sure," he said, a hand on his hips as he allowed himself a cocky smirk. "I'm ready."
"Alright then," Kakashi said, clapping his book shut and holding up a stopwatch.
"This will be a… retrieval exercise, let's say. You must retrieve a bell from me, by noon. However…"
Kakashi reached for his belt.
It was empty.
"These bells, sensei?" Naruto sneered, the jingling of two bells ringing just by his ear.
Kakashi smiled. "Now, now, my adorable students. I didn't say go yet, now, did I?"
Naruto smirked, clasping his fist only to feel his fingers close in on thin air. He turned sharply in time to see Kakashi clipping the bells to his belt. Oh, he could imagine the dirty, smug grin behind that mask.
Kakashi Hatake was better than he had thought.
His sensei brought his hands together, and smiled.
"Alright then," he said. "Go!"
He disappeared into smoke.
Turning to Akina and Sasuke, Naruto saw the two move together. He could imagine they'd form a plan. After all, there were only two bells, and they certainly didn't seem to want him here. At least, Sasuke didn't.
"Oi, you two."
Sasuke shot him a scowl. "What."
"Let me tell you something about this test," Naruto smirked. Kakashi wasn't in the area; he could feel it. "It's a trick. Getting the bells isn't important at all."
Akina raised an eyebrow.
"The bell test is all about teamwork," he said. "There are two bells so that Kakashi can intentionally split us up. In the end, think about it. As a genin, are we really prepared to face up to a jounin alone?"
Naruto saw Akina and Sasuke's expressions flash from irritation into shock, and smiled victoriously.
"Even the three of us working together might not have a chance. In the end, it's all to see whether we'll work together. As a ninja…"
Naruto noticed something off about Akina and Sasuke.
They weren't looking at him.
They were looking behind him.
"How insightful of you."
Fuck.
"I mean," Naruto said, laughing awkwardly, "that's… the idea behind it? Right, sensei?"
Kakashi Hatake stared him down, and Naruto suddenly knew what other people must feel like facing down Kisame.
After a long moment, Kakashi's eye crinkled into a smile.
"I suppose so."
He was fucked. That smile revealed nothing about what emotions might be running through the man. For all Naruto knew, he could be almost ready to strangle him, or disqualify him outright.
There was some way to fix the situation. He knew it. Just how-
"Hmm. In that case," Kakashi said, cocking his head in thought. "Let's see some teamwork, as Torami so eloquently put it."
Their sensei disappeared in a puff of smoke, only to appear again a moment later.
"Oh, I forgot." Kakashi said with another smile.
"Don't forget about the time limit."
As their sensei disappeared, Akina turned to Naruto with vengeful snarl on her face.
"We are in such deep shit, no thanks to you."
Naruto sighed.
"I know."
The search began. Because, well, quite frankly, not Naruto, nor Akina, nor Sasuke, could find Kakashi. Anywhere.
Naruto's first move had been to use the Byakugan. He'd like to have thought that was accurate enough, but he'd clearly underestimated Kakashi and refused to take anymore goddamn chances. He'd resorted to looking with his bare hands. All three of them were.
It had been one fucking hour of searching. He was now pushing past the underbrush, hacking at the branches with his Tanto Blade. This sure didn't feel like being a ninja.
A nettle stung his forearm, and Naruto leaned back and grabbed his hair in both hands.
"HE'S NOT EVEN IN THE GODDAMN FOREST!" Naruto shouted, trying to contain his fury. "Knowing that prick, he's probably off ordering breakfast right now with his head buried in erotica!"
Watching as Naruto grabbed the nearest tree trunk and began banging his head into it, Sasuke let a small smile creep onto his face.
Yes, he supposed. He did like this new teacher after all.
Moving into the town, the three of them came to the decision that splitting up would be the best option, and agreed to meet up at the memorial stone come the end of the hour should they have not found anything, and should they find anything, engage. Full force. Naruto knew all three of them were beyond giving a fuck about the state of the village.
After two streets of searching for a masked, grey-haired man, Naruto finally snapped and put his fingers together. No, he did not give a fuck about using the Shadow Clone technique in public. Fuck the village, fuck his cover, and fuck Kakashi Hatake.
The street filled with a thousand of him, crowding around the few passerby civilians, before they all jumped.
Naruto checked every nook and cranny. Each street had at least one furious Nobuko Torami roaming down it, the sheer killing intent pouring off him keeping ninja and civilians alike away in a radius of 5 meters minimum.
Come the end of the hour, when Naruto dispelled his clones, and the memories returned to him, he noted, with a small note of barely restrained homicidal fury, that Kakashi Hatake, prick of all pricks, remained unfound.
"I'm going to burn it. All of it." Naruto vowed.
They met at the memorial stone in silence.
"Anything?" Naruto said, not even raising his head from its slump. Kakashi Hatake required a stamina in and of himself. Was it a special technique? Naruto had never experienced exhaustion like it. It was in his very bones.
"No." his teammates chorused back. Sasuke shot Naruto a glare, which was immediately returned. He didn't even have the energy to hate Sasuke. Kakashi truly was powerful.
They sat on the Memorial Stone's edges for a moment, Naruto putting his head in his hands.
Akina sat up abruptly.
"Wait."
Her eyes widened.
"He… He wouldn't."
"WHAT?" Naruto and Sasuke chorused instantly, shooting each other a brief glare.
Akina shook her head, disbelieving.
"His office… It's to the left of my mother's," she said, "I didn't think to check-"
Naruto and Sasuke were already running.
The door to Kakashi's office slammed open.
Kakashi was sat in his seat, leaning back, a bagel in one hand and his stopwatch in the other.
The three genin heaved for breath, Naruto lifting a finger accusingly and opening his mouth.
Their sensei shot them an eye-smile, and stopped the watch with a click.
"Time's up."
The three genin froze. Naruto prepared his biggest fire jutsu. Fuck cover. Fuck Konoha. He didn't give a shit about this mission anymore. Pein would surely understand-
"However…"
Naruto stopped.
"You three did show an exemplary amount of teamwork however ineffective-" -the three of them glared- "-it ultimately was."
Kakashi took on a thoughtful look, bringing a hand to his chin, before he snapped his fingers and smiled.
"You pass!"
Whether Kakashi had expected laughter and cheering or not, it didn't come.
"What?" Naruto said, flabberghasted. "What?"
Sasuke appeared to have calcified. Akina facepalmed.
Naruto stammered, his tongue feeling like a dead caterpillar.
"But-But the bells-"
"Ah, that? I was just kidding. You three are so serious."
Leaning back in his chair, and entirely failing to burst into flames under the combined glares of Akina, Naruto, and Sasuke, Kakashi went on.
"I expect to see you three here at 6:00AM sharp, as Team 7."
Akina and Sasuke slowly moved out, grumbling quietly to themselves and leaving with sluggish steps.
Naruto didn't move. He could feel his left eye and fingers twitching. Surely, if he let off a Fireball Jutsu now, he wouldn't have time to dodge. He could fight his way out, probably.
Kakashi looked at him, chewing quietly, his bagel having spontaneously had a bite taken out of it. Naruto didn't even want to begin wondering how the hell the man had pulled that off.
"Shoo. I have work to do. Any questions can wait until tomorrow morning."
Naruto fought movement into his body, turned on his heel,l and stalked out of the office, slamming the door.
With each step he took, Naruto swore on his life that he would desecrate each and every one of Kakashi's most beloved things.
The book would come first.
A/N: Wow, you guys guessed it. Yes, Kakashi is Akina's father. There will be later explanation as to why this is the case. Shoutout to Chaser-04 for pointing out an error in the last chapter! As always, flames are ignored.
(Not saying any names yet, but they do exist unfortunately. D:)
Next time on Absolution: Team 7 Shenanigans, Naruto's training room, and Hinata's promotion to clan head.
Until next time. Ciao!