I know, I know I have lots of explaining to do. So let me get started. First I was just over twelve weeks pregnant. So, I was pregnant when I was raped. Meaning it wasn't any of theirs. I did drink and I was unintentionally drugged all while I was about two weeks pregnant so maybe it doesn't quite count yet. But I did realize two and a half weeks later when Mother Nature hadn't come quite yet. One test and suddenly my world was shifted. Completely turned upside down. Now next explanation I owe you, you are probably thinking but your birthday party the drinking, lie. I wasn't. I'm smarter than that. Oh man I'm talking about myself like I'm alive again. I still hadn't told anyone about the baby yet so I had to play the part. I regret that now not telling anyone about the baby. Including the father.

Why didn't I tell you? Well because I knew that it would come out. And what's the point of ruining the surprise. That wouldn't be fair. Of course now the cops had even more on their hands. All the horrible things that had been done to me said this was no first kill. Probably not even a second or third. They now could see they had a real killer on their hands not someone who just snapped and poof a girl was dead. While looking into it they realized that Krista had been put through some of the very same things. Even scarier? This could single handedly wipe away every theory they had come up with. Gone just like that. They immediately contacted the detectives who worked on Krista's case and they came that very day to the police station.

"We think there may be a connection here. Now we know the girls didn't know each other in anyway. Aside from age and looks there's not much about them that is similar but that might be it the connection. "

"When did this girl go missing?"

"July seventeenth."

"Just a few months after Krista. Bet she'd been dead while everyone was searching for her too right?"

"Yeah. She was killed about two weeks before we found her."

"But the body was in great condition like she'd just died?"

"Yes actually."

"Same with Krista. She'd been dead awhile but the outside appearance would've never said it. Blood and everything looked just like she had been killed that very day. The only way we knew an estimate was because of the autopsy."

The detectives both exchange worried looks before moving to a little pin board with a map and a red circle, "Now this is where Krista lived, where she was found, up there is Ana's house, and that one is where we found her body. We guess he lives somewhere in between these two points."

"Possible. Or maybe they were just random picks. Maybe he lives states away and drove through."

"I'm not gonna say it's impossible but we both want to catch this guy. So let's hope he's somewhere to where we can."

"Well why hasn't he taken another girl yet? It was just three months for him to take Ana after Krista but it's been almost seven months since Ana went missing."

"We don't know. We guess he's containing it for now. If we're right and he's somewhere close he messed up taking Ana, it's close to home. The cops are right in his backyard and it wouldn't take much to mess up and get caught."

"That's true. Have you questioned people around town?"

"As many as possible. Most all said the same things; sweet girl, bright future, safe town."

"We need to let all the towns between us know to be on watch too. He could be right there in the middle just slipping through the cracks."

"I already have someone talking to the head of ever department. We want to keep this as quite as possible for obvious reasons."

"No one has slipped up so far? Said anything they just wouldn't know?"

"No. We're leaving most of the details just between us. Not even family is going to know."

"Yeah we didn't have the stomach to tell Krista's mom all the things she had been through. Too hard for us to even handle let alone a mother."

"I completely understand. I'm about to have to tell her mom she was almost thirteen weeks pregnant when she died."

The other detective stands up and places a hand on his shoulder. "Good luck. We'll be working together from now on. We'll catch him."

With that the detective broke apart and Bowman went into the room holding my parents and Christian and his family too. I had gone through my head a million times how to tell Christian. Should I make it cute or just spit it out. I could never quite decide. I thought that day when I went missing maybe we should go in a store and while walking past baby stuff see something I find cute, an outfit or toy, and say it then. But I was scared. What if he left right there never to be seen or heard from again. I didn't think I could handle that but maybe that would have been easier than watching from outside having no possible way of saying I'm sorry but I think we can do this. I think we could have this baby and be a family. No. That, along with my unborn child, was ripped away from me.

"What's so important detective Bowman? Have you found some type of lead?" My mother asked with just a slight bit of hope in her eyes. Since she now knew of Jeff's affair and was too depressed to care or leave she'd lost that light in her eyes.

"Well something came up but not really much of a lead. Just something you all should know."

They waited all eyes glued on the man they hoped would one day bring them all the answers to their questions. Catch this terrible person. Instead what they found out would make me look more like a monster and a star of some TV drama.

"We got the results from Ana's autopsy. And, um, we found some information out. When Ana was killed she was, um, she was thirteen weeks pregnant."

That silence, that echoing silence, hit me like a bus. Everyone's face frozen but all similar; hurt. Christian was the first to speak.

"That can't be true. She would have told me. She would have told me!"

"I'm sorry son but it is."

"It's not because of the rape is it? It's not, or wasn't, one theirs is it?" I could see from the look on my mom's face she was calculating.

"No ma'am she would have been just around two or three weeks pregnant at the time. It's hard to know for sure. The doctor performing the autopsy had to do an estimate based off the size of the baby as well as Ana's uterus."

"Oh."

"We always used condoms! And I know my girlfriend she never kept anything from me."

"Christian she did hide the rape from you. She didn't want to upset you and maybe she thought that this would have."

"Right. It was better to find out like this. Now the love of my life and my unborn child are dead." Christian got up with one giant movement that nearly knocked the chair over. That was the first of many times I thought god I was selfish.

Christian's parents sat there for a moment in silence before gathering their things and leaving the room. Again; silent. I could have cut the tension with a knife. My mother sat there with a look I had never seen from her before. One of disappointment. Whether she was disappointed in my getting pregnant, not telling her, or keeping it from the baby's father I couldn't tell you. Hell maybe all three. The detectives left the room to give them a moment alone.

"Say something Carla." Jeff's voice had a pleading tone. Almost begging for something to come out of her. She had been quite since the announcement was made he had another woman. Which was promised not to leave the department as it now seemed irrelevant but in the back of their minds at all times.

"What would you like me to say?"

"How you're feeling could be a start."

She let out a light, sarcastic laugh, "How I feel? Like my world is completely falling apart before my very eyes. I lose my daughter, my child, who I worked so hard to raise and protect and keep from all the bad things in the world. The creeps, perverts, her own father who would just let her down more. Then find out that she was raped by five guys. Five. And never once felt like she could open up to me and say anything about it. Instead she held it in from everyone. Then have another bomb dropped on me to find out that you, my wonderful husband, who I trusted with my child, married, had another beautiful little girl with is screwing someone else. You want to sit here and act like things are fine between us when the fact is they aren't. And how I feel? I feel like throwing in the towel, giving up. But I have a little girl who will never get to have a normal life now and needs me. I'm going home Jeff."

And with that she stood from the table and walked out. Said goodbye to the detective and walked to her car where she broke down. My mom was always such a strong woman I knew that from early on. I would proudly tell anyone about my mother and my grandmother who was also strong. I had seen her cry just three times in my life. Her wedding day, the day my grandpa died, and the day my sister was born a healthy little girl. The number since I disappeared? I lost count so long ago but every time another little piece of me broke.

At Christian's house his mother laid in bed with a book not reading a single word. Just thinking over and over how hard it must be for my mom. My mom and Grace had gotten along from the beginning even when we were just friends. The thought flashed through Graces' mind that she would be a grandmother had this never happen to me. Christian sat in his room messing. He had a bad habit of doing that which I knew of alive but dead I could see the full extent of the problem. He'd pick things up and move them just to do something. He'd rearranged his room at least twenty times since last summer. This time he pulled out a piece of paper and wrote the date I disappeared, the estimated date I died, and how many weeks along I was. Then did his math, which he's excellent at, and pin-pointed the week I most likely got pregnant. And then figured out which day, because we hadn't seen each other much that week.

After all that he laid down on his bed and thought. He thought of me that day, the love we'd made, and what would turn into our little baby. He stayed up till three a.m. thinking about all the things we could have done through the pregnancy and with our child. I sat back watching feeling a slight tingle in my stomach reminding me I wasn't the only life that was lost that day.

I apologize so much for the wait on the chapter! Sadly life got in the way and I didn't want to rush and put something bad out. I hope you all enjoy the chapter and I'd love to hear your thoughts!