Deidara and I were out the door the next morning before my mother had even began to think about getting up. It was still dark when we arrived at a fast food joint for breakfast. Much to our disdain they hadn't began serving breakfast yet, so we settled for a large fry and a couple of small hamburgers. We did manage, however, to get ourselves some orange juice as I took us down to the community collage.

Orientation was a bore, and the placement testing literally made me want to rip my hair out. My entire trip was trying to decide if I wanted to take on the hard classes, or wanting to get myself placed lower, and have an easier time, but waste more money that Dei probably needed to get himself though. I knew for sure no matter how smart he was in the other world, he was probably still below average here. Finally finished, I threw down my pencil, I tried my best to just answer the way an 'average' person would.

We were waiting even longer at the collage that day to see what the score was, and then finally, after spending all day, We were given out schedules. I bawked to see I had not a single class with Deidara. We were lucky, yes, to have all our classes on the same days, but for not a single hour would we be in the same room. I asked for a change, but was denied. That wasted another hour. I wasn't so much mad, just frustrated. Very Frustrated.

I'd left Deidara sitting in a lobby of sorts, but when I returned he was looking very nervous and standing next to a large window. I wondered if he'd had a flash back or something else traumatic happened, but when I came to him he only shushed me. I asked again, I wasn't in the mood to be hushed.

"He's Sasori," Deidara spoke softly as the red head I noticed in front of us stared foreword. A mellow expression harbored on his face, his chocolate eyes looked almost cloudy with boredom because of the shear dullness of this place. I smirked a little, he probably felt like I did. I didn't know how long Dei had been freaking out or how long his red haired stranger had been here, or even if he spoke to him, But I thought maybe I should keep them away from each other.
"What do you mean?" I finally asked in a whisper, he simply set his jaw. It took him until class was over and we were in the car to come up with an answer.
"He's Sasori's spitting image un," he spoke, using large hand motions as he almost yelled over the barely audible radio. His hands fell to his lap with a slap and he sighed. Pushing his bangs further to the side of his face, he brought his hand up to support his chin as he leaned on the door. Deidara had never mentioned much about the Akatsuki. He never mentioned much about his past unless specifically asked and even then he gave the bare minimum. I did know though, Sasori was the poison master and puppet man that was Deidara partner before Tobi. I also knew Sasori was long gone.
"Deidara, I don't… Think that's possible, the portal closed and isn't he… You know, dead?" I pointed out but instead of reasoning with me, it just set him off.
"Do you think I don't fucking know that? It doesn't matter what happened there though, he's here, do you not have eyes? Did you not see him?" His voice got louder and angrier as he spoke.
"Why are you yelling at me?" I asked sort of meekly, afraid he would continue. As I stopped at a red light, I looked over at him. I wasn't sure what my face looked like, but it got a reaction from him. The anger seemed to melt away. He looked down, and I looked back to the road as I stepped on the gas. Dei was getting worse, emotionally. Set on edge about everything and I couldn't help think it was to do with me. It was me after all he was protecting for such a long time, me after all that was kidnapped. I wondered if he too was experiencing culture shock just like I had in his world. He seemed to be settling in perfectly.

When we arrived home, it wasn't much better.

A man was sitting on our sofa when we walked though the door, my father sitting in a chair on his right, and he urged us to sit down across from this stranger. My mother was nowhere to be found.

"May, this is Doctor Kentsworth, I work with him at the hospital and I asked him to come visit today," My father motioned for us to sit down. Deidara like the soldier he was sat down without argument, but I was sort of weary. He was strange to me and not once had my father ever brought a friend over to our house.

"Come on," My father urged, and finally I sat down, taking Deidara had up in mine as Dr. Kenstworth began to speak. He was a kindly looking old man, black hair that was more salt than pepper, with a beard to match. He was a fat man, dressed in slacks but a relaxed looking polo shirt, like was was a work or something, just without the white lab coat.

"I just came to ask you both some questions, I'm a psychologist," Kensworth explained, "It seems you two have been thought quite an ordeal and I'd like to use it for my reaserch, its purely confidential. Care to tell me about it? I'm going to ask quite a few very privet questions," As a couple, we did not answer. I didn't want him prying at our cover up, but it was too late.

"I see, well, Deidara," dr. Kentsworth said very quicly as he wrote something down. He said his name a little funny, but it wasn't as bad as my mom, "did you ever witness your father rape your mother?"
I could believe he'd just asked that! My eyes were wide, and I was abut to tell him not to answer but Deidara made eye contact with me just as I opened my mouth and I took that as he wanted to answer. I saw what this was about now. My dad told Kentsworth everything. My dad thought there was something mentally wrong with him if not me too and that alone made me want to get up and scream, but that would not help the case.

Clearing his throat, his voice shook as he responded. I could tell this was more than a lie now. Deidara was not goin to treat this as a lie, he was taking from his own life now.
"Not.. Not exactly but, we weren't unhappy when he went away hm," he was being vague, and I was surprised the doctor didn't make him elaborate.
"And did you ever happen to see him physically… Abuse her or cause extensive harm to her?" He asked not looking up from his note pad.
"I saw blood, a lot of blood, very often, if that's what your asking," Deidara's eyes darted around the room and he looked more than bothered. I took his hand, clasping it in my two, only to find it cold and clammy. This distressed me too. I hated seeing him like this. I hated that I didn't know the truth, his truth.
Suddenly he tensed up, freezing and then relaxed again. I wondered if he was having flash backs.
"Well, if you don't mind now I'd like to ask May a few questions," Dr. Kentsworth motioned for my father to leave the room, I was puzzled for a moment, but I supposed that whatever he thought happened at my kidnappers house was too much, when the truth was I was with Deidara. "May, I've come to understand you were in his mothers situation for some time. I'm going to be quite blunt with this, were you ever raped?"
I took a moment before shaking my head no. He wrote something else down.
"But you were also hurt physically?" I followed his gaze to the scar on my arm.
"Yes,"
"And are you still afraid he might come back?"
This wasn't about a story anymore, this was about Madara. I shook my head yes and that was the truth. I was deathly afraid Madara would return. He rose a few moments later after writing something down. Has asked one more question, if the both of us slept alright,which Dei answered for us, a simple no. Dr. Kentsworth said good bye to my father and they talked a few minutes. I never saw him again but two large bottles of prescription medicine appeared on the table the next morning.
"What's this?" I asked stupidly. Dr kentsworth was a psychologist and clearly this is our anti-psychotic medicine. There was no research at all. My dad left the room quickly and my mother said nothing. I looked to Deidara who was starting down the pill bottle like a rattlesnake. My eyebrows furrowed in anger, I could feel my stomach twist out in knots of infuriating frustration.
My hand gripped his arm and I yanked him to the bathroom, the bathroom upstairs next to our room, pills still in hand and impatient of the time it took to get there. I tore open the childproof lock and began dumping the pills on my hand.
"What are you doing un?" He asked, his eyes sort of bewildered.
"what's it look like I'm doing? I'm flushing these. This is nonsensical bullshit, I'm not taking them, we're not sick. we don't need medicine," I insisted but as I went to throw the pills into the toilet, his larger hand griped mine.
"I think you should keep them hm," he said quietly, "besides, if you flush them all now wont your parents know you aren't taking them?"
He had a point. Reluctantly I slowly pushed the pills back in the bottle resealed the cap. He left me then to go who knows where, and I had time to myself. Sitting down on our bathtub, I got thinking.

I was angry with myself. I'd been roped into Kenstworth's talk, I didn't stick to the story, I let myself drift back to a scared little kidnapped girl, and now I was 'sick.' If I could have just kept up the charade, if I could have lied better. Sighed my thoughts moved back to Deidara. I was sure he wasn't not just talking about his time as a ninja when he spoke of blood earlier when the doctor asked. That would help explain why Deidara's mother was so jumpy around the blonde bomber, it wasn't just she feared her son, she feared men. Again my thoughts drifted, this time, to my friends.

Jenny the swimmer came to mind right away, Jenny who helped me meet Deidara, Jenny who had been calling since I'd returned home but I never bothered to even touch a phone. I decided to call her. I rose then, and picked up a phone off of the table in our upstairs hallway before walking to my bedroom and throwing myself on the messy bed. For minutes I couldn't bring myself to dial the number. When I finally did I was so afraid I almost hung up. What if I was different? What if she was afraid to talk to me now after my 'ordeal' and was just calling to be friendly.

"Hello? May?" I heard jenny's hopeful voice on the other end. I wanted to respond but I choked on my words, literally choking into the phone.

"May are you ok?"

"Yes," I said still coughing a bit, but when I heard her sequel on the other end, my fears were gone. She still liked me.

"I'm so glad its you! I saw you on the caller ID in my phone so, I got really excited!" she said exuberantly, I could hear someone talking in the background behind her, "May is it okay if I put you on speaker? Jake is here too."

"Yeah.." I railed off, I wasn't counting on anyone else being there. Jake had been there the day I disappeared and he was my friend too but I felt sort of nervous again. I could hear the phone click and Jenny asked if I could hear her. I answered the same way I had previously.

"I'm so glad to hear your feeling better! I was so worried you weren't going to ever see us again,"

"Yeah, I'm here," I retorted very plainly.

"One thing I don't understand though, is how he got you from under the water, you know," Jenny began, and I could hear my breathing hitch, I couln't talk about this to her, she'd blow our cover!

"Oh did I go too far?" I heard her ask, pulling me away from my mini freak out.

"Yes," was that the only thing I could say?

"I'm sorry," She apologized, and tried to continue speaking but I cut her off.

"Listen Jen, I have to go okay? I'll talk to you later," and promptly hung up the phone.

I wanted to die. I wanted to crawl up in a ball and sob until I starved to death. When had I lost the ability to function is society? When did I loose the ability to speak to someone I once called my best friend? Could I even still call her my friend after the way I had just treated her?

My boyfriend came to bed much later, hours even and I still hadn't moved. I pretend to be asleep, and so did he. We both just lay awake until He got up to get his sleeping pills, which appeared after the anti-psychotic from nowhere it seemed, and eventually feel asleep. It was my turn to stay awake, or else face endless nightmares.

I wasn't going to take that medicine. Even if it killed me.