A/N: Great feedback everyone! Thank you all so, so, much for your continued support, you are all so awesome I can't even express it. We are now over 50 reviews and almost as many favorites, and now officially OVER 100 follows! I am so stoked, and I can't thank you all enough! I know I left you all on a little cliffhanger there at the end of Chapter 10, so I'll make this A/N quick as I can. First, I've taken the time to personally thank each and every reviewer, but I'd like to take this chance to thank peetagrl3 and Kim, if you had accounts I would tell you that your reviews make me smile inside every time I see them :D. I got a lot of feedback from you guys and I truly appreciate it. In my PM thanks, I also replied to anyone that had any constructive criticism (of which I appreciate immensely) and I hope I was able to clear up any and all of your worries.

However, to the Guest reviewer who thinks that I have unfairly portrayed Gale (and anyone else who thinks so for that matter), here is my response: 1) I don't appreciate it being told to me as an anonymous 'guest' user, mainly because I like to address such concerns in PMs with people rather than on here in the A/N. 2) To be clear, if you think that I completely over did Gale's actions in the last chapter, I apologize. On the other hand, I must remind you of a few things; first, the last chapter (and this one, since they were supposed to be a single chapter) was based on Shakespeare's play 'Much Ado About Nothing,' as I stated in the A/N. If you haven't read 'Much Ado,' then perhaps that's why you didn't understand it and the theme I was trying to display. 'Much Ado' is a play about love, how crazy love is, and how it effects people in different ways, driving some to do things they wouldn't normally do (IE, Gale and Peeta). I felt that this theme fits in perfectly with the love story between Katniss and Peeta, and I'd be a little shocked if someone disagreed. If Gale and Peeta seemed a little OOC, that's because I was intending to show what love can do to a person, something I don't think we got to see much of in Mockingjay. Remember that in MJ, Gale never really had compete with Peeta as the REAL Peeta. In the first half of the book, he had to deal with Katniss' guilt and memory of the boy she loved. In the second half, Peeta was not himself and so Gale alone was able to comfort Katniss and be there for her (which he then just used as a means of taking advantage of her weakness, as another reviewer so keenly pointed out). In this story, the real Peeta IS there, and Katniss DOES reciprocate his feelings. So Gale, who still loves Katniss, is dealing with his unrequited love and his jealousy of Peeta in a way the book did not and could not show. Love changes you. It's as simple as that. And as far as I'm concerned, there really was no other way to depict this. But hey you can't please everyone. I like metaphors and consider myself a very poetic person, and I believe it comes out in my writing. Everything that happens in this story, happens for a reason (as I have demonstrated above by elaborating on this). If you don't have the depth to read into that, then I don't know what to tell you.

To everybody else, I am so sorry I've just spent a paragraph distracting you from the next chapter, which I hope you all love! And here. We. Go!

Change of Fate

Chapter Eleven: Nightmares

Katniss

Minutes after Haymitch broke the news about Peeta's condition, I rushed up to the hospital wing with Prim, Johanna, and Haymitch in tow. My heart is racing and mind is on a panic loop. All of the tricks I have in the book to help calm myself just aren't working. When we get to the hospital, I discover that my mother happens to be the one treating Peeta and she takes us to him as she explains his condition.

"He is stable now, thank god, but..."

She is not helping me. Isn't that what mothers are supposed to do? "But what mom?"

She sighs, "We got him in time. He is doing alright. But I don't know if Peeta had ever had a sip of alcohol in his life, and I'm quite sure he'd never taken morphling before. His body just wasn't prepared for it all..."

As we enter his room, I notice that Plutarch and President Coin are already present. I'm somewhat irritated by this.

"Ms. Everdeen, I am so sorry..." Coin begins. "It would be so terrible if - "

"Don't say it," I snap at her. I get to feel stressed. I get to worry about Peeta, because I care about him. I love him. She is only worried because if he were to... die, I shudder at the very notion of this, it would be a blow to her propos. It would be a blow to her rebellion. She doesn't care about Peeta, she cares about what he can do for her.

She recognizes that I don't want to hear any negativity. "Of course. I apologize Katniss. That was tactless of me."

"Seriously, and I thought that was my job around here..." Johanna replies sarcastically.

I want to laugh at that, but the gravity of the situation is just too much at this point. I walk past Coin and Plutarch and see Peeta for myself. He looks fine. He's hooked up to a few machines, but he looks perfectly normal. His beautiful golden hair just as curly as ever, his strong, well built body looks just as it did when I last saw him this morning. But his beautiful cerulean pools that brighten my day, every day, are absent as his eyes are closed. I collapse onto his bed next to him and let out a slight sob. Trying to hide from everyone that I am falling apart inside, I refuse to let out another one. But tears run freely down my face as I curl up next to him. I know that this is all my fault. I know that when Gale kissed me I let it last just a moment too long. If only I had stopped it and slapped him sooner, then Peeta would've seen it and not gone off and overdosed... I am sure that if he were to die from this, I would never forgive myself. This really is a nightmare.

I hear Plutarch pipe up, "So Haymitch, is this what the kid wanted when he came to see you earlier? Wanted to know how to his hands on this stuff?"

I keep my face buried in Peeta's neck so that it seems that I'm not paying attention, but I am. I want to know how and why Haymitch let this happen.

"No, not exactly. But he... wanted to loosen up a little bit. Get some steam off I guess," Haymitch says in response.

"How'd you even manage to get alcohol?" Johanna asks. "I thought it was on strict lockdown."

Haymitch pauses before continuing, "Well, Peeta said he knew where there was a stash in the Kitchens, so he ran down there to grab some..." I can hear Plutarch chuckle at Peeta's cleverness.

"Where'd he get the morphling?" I hear Prim ask, somewhat surprised that she is getting involved in the conversation. "Mom says its under pretty strict lockdown up here in the hospital wing."

That is an interesting point. How did Peeta get his hands on morphling? My question is quickly answered.

"Uh... Yeah. That'd be my bad," Haymitch says. "I'd siphoned off a little extra morphling from when I was still recovering from withdrawals. When he said he could get some booze, I got a little excited, so I brought some morphling down for us to have a good time."

I snap to attention and look Haymitch dead in the eye. "So it's your fault?! You're so helpless and addicted to substances, that you had to drag Peeta down to your level?" I hiss with venom in my words. I am not happy with my old mentor right now. Not at all.

"Hey back off sweetheart, that's not what happened. That's not why he came to me, and we both know that!" He snaps back at me. My heart sinks even further than I thought possible. I am reminded that while Haymitch may have been the one that gave Peeta the morphling, I'm the one who drove him to take it. Haymitch may have handed him the gun, but I'm the one who gave him a reason to go find it in the first place.

"Would someone like to fill me in on what we're talking about here?" The President asks.

I want to say no. I feel eager to tell her to shove her big, snooping nose, right up my you know what, yet I'm cut off by the most unlikely person.

"No," Prim says firmly. "It is a personal matter amongst friends and family, and you are neither."

She says this so flatly, so matter of factly, I'm impressed. So is Johanna, as she smiles brightly at my little sister. I see Haymitch roll his eyes and Plutarch chuckle a little bit. President Coin however, looks none too pleased. "You are right young one, I am neither. But I am your President, and you will address me as such when speaking to me."

Prim stiffens, "Yes Madam President." This does make me smile ever so slightly. I can't help but think that Prim might be on the President's shit list.

Coin curls her lip in triumph and turns to me, "Ms. Everdeen, I do hope Peeta is able to make a swift and full recovery. I will keep him in my thoughts tonight. Now, if you will all excuse me, I have a revolution to oversee..." She says this indignantly, and seemingly puffs out her chest as she strides out of the room.

An awkward silence fills the room momentarily, but is abruptly cut short by the high pitched laugh of Johanna. "Prim, that was magnificent! Even when I'm trying my best to upset that woman, I don't think I've gotten a response like that out of her."

If things weren't so crazy right now, I'd probably be saying something similar to Prim. Instead, I have this horrible empty feeling inside of me. It's like an echo that keeps ringing and ringing and will never end. I let the tears resume streaming down my face and tighten my hold on Peeta. "Peeta, please wake up..." I whisper in his ear. "I need you to wake up so I can explain things... What you saw... It wasn't real. It's not what you thought it was. It wasn't real..." I say again.

I feel Prim curl up next to me and hold me as I hold Peeta. Then Haymitch speaks, "Come on girls, let's let these two have some privacy..."

Prim makes to stand up, but I grab her hand, "No. Prim, please don't leave me." I feel horribly weak and vulnerable and needy, but I need someone to stay here with me. I will lose it tonight if Prim doesn't stay with me.

She smiles at me, "Ok." Haymitch nods and motions for Johanna to come with him, and they both leave and they close the door on their way out. As soon as the door is shut, I let the tears out and the crying resume. Prim takes me in her arms and holds me against her chest as I weep.

"Prim, it's all my fault. Everything is my fault," I say in between sobs.

"No it's not Katniss."

"How can you say that? How in the world is this not my fault?"

She eyes me carefully, and picks her words even more carefully. "You know you made a mistake today in letting Gale kiss you. You've owned that, and that part was your fault. But Peeta is his own person, and he made his own decision. He wanted to get drunk with Haymitch, he chose to mix alcohol with morphling when he'd probably never tried either, which is what got him here. When he wakes up, I know that he'll own that, and I know that he wouldn't want you blaming yourself for what he chose to do."

Prim is right. If for no other reason than his never ending selflessness, Peeta wouldn't want me to blame myself for everything that happened. But suddenly a very dark thought crawls into my mind... "What if he doesn't want to see me when he wakes up? What if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he doesn't love me anymore?"

Her response is quick and firm. "Stop it. Stop thinking that right now, and I mean right now. That boy has been in love with you for so long, I doubt he can even remember a time when he wasn't."

"But Prim, what he saw - "

"If he is so set in his mind that he won't even hear you out, then he doesn't really love you, which we both know isn't true. I watched from afar all those years at school as he longingly watched you hang out with Gale. It was a gaze of love. I watched the Games, Katniss. Both of them. I watched as he was willing to do whatever it took to save you, even if that meant sacrificing his own life. People don't just do things like that for no reason. People do it out of love..." She lets this sink in for several minutes before continuing. "He loves you Katniss, he always has. He did what he did today because when he saw Gale kiss you, he thought that you didn't love him. He was reminded of the years when you didn't love him, he was reminded of when you told him that you were just acting during the first games and that you didn't love him, he was reminded of the time between the Games when you pushed him aside in favor of Gale. When he wakes up Katniss, all you have to do is prove that you do love him..."

I am in tears, but not even because of Peeta anymore. Prim's words have brought me here. She has grown up so much, she's matured so much, she's become so wise... What happened to the little girl I fought to keep alive for so long? I smile at this thought, she's not a little girl anymore. "When did you grow up so fast?"

She lets out a small laugh, "Seeing your older sister get sent off to her impending death twice can have that affect on someone."

I let myself laugh too as I grab a hold of her and wrap her in my arms. "I love you Prim. So much," I say as I kiss her forehead.

"I know. I love you too."

We sit in there in silence, curled up next to Peeta as I stroke her hair. And ever so gently, we both drift off to sleep...

I wake up, but Prim is nowhere to be found. I find myself in an oddly familiar place, but one that I cannot remember. I am laying down in the grass in a giant field surrounded by great big trees all around me. Where am I? Then horror takes ahold of me as I see the golden horn of the Cornucopia of the first games with the lake nearby. I am in the arena.

I stand up, and I try to do whatever I can to wake myself up, but it's not working. Then I see something glimmering from the corner of my eye. I turn to find what I have been searching for. The brilliant blue eyes of Peeta Mellark. I run over to him and hold on for dear life. "Peeta... Peeta... I'm so sorry... Please, forgive me." I say in desperation.

He looks at me with his amazing smile and says, "Forgive you for what? We did it Katniss! We won! We won the Hunger Games!"

I remember that I am in a dream. This isn't the Peeta who's heart I broke earlier today. I guess I'll play along and see where this dream leads, it doesn't seem to be a nightmare yet. I kiss him with every ounce of love that I have in my being, I pour my soul into this kiss, into him. I need him to know that I love him. But it is interrupted by the familiar voice of Claudius Templesmith.

"Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games. The earlier revisions have been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!"

I feel the anger rising inside of me. I feel the defiance taking ahold of me. "Well, this is it then, I guess," I hear Peeta say.

No. No it's not. "No, Peeta. I'm not gonna kill you. I can't." I reach into my pockets to grab the nightlock berries. To my utter horror, they aren't there. I hear a horrible laugh in the background, and I look around trying to find the source of it, but there is no one around. As it continues, I recognize it. Snow. I fight to ignore it as I turn back to Peeta.

"You have to Katniss. They have to have their victor... Besides, they were never serious about that rule change. Think about the ratings for the Games this year. Two star-crossed lovers that have to kill each other in the end? That's about as dramatic of an ending as I can imagine," he says this almost laughing.

How can he be laughing at something like this? I see him lift up his knife, and I look at him incredulously as I pull up my bow and aim an arrow right at his heart. I feel terrible when I see him chuck it into the lake. Of course Peeta would never hurt me... I'm the one who does the hurting in this relationship. I let the bow slide down to my side, but he grabs it and shoves it back into my hands.

"Please Katniss, just do it. I'm ready."

But I'm not ready to let go. "No. I can't do it." I shake my head profusely.

"Katniss, please. Only one of us is getting out of here alive, and we both know it's not going to be me," he says this so simply. Like I don't have a say in the matter.

"I can't!"

"Do it!" He sounds almost angry. "They're gonna send the mutts back out if you don't, and I don't want to die that way."

"You can't guilt me into this, Peeta!" I shout. How dare he! I can't kill him. I can't do this. "I can't kill you. I just can't."

"You have to! You have to go home and take care of Prim. She needs you. I came into the arena planning on dying for you, and now it's time. I did my job. I protected you. I helped keep you alive. Now it's time for you to go home."

I collapse to my knees and let the tears rush down my face. How could life be this cruel? "I can't do it Peeta."

He stands me back up and our eyes meet. Blue meets Gray. "But you have to..."

"I CAN'T!" I shout at him. "I CAN'T KILL YOU PEETA!"

"WHY NOT?!" He asks in a voice just as loud as mine.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU PEETA! Because I can't imagine life without you. I can't imagine having to leave this arena and go back to Twelve and continue going on with my life, because it won't be the same!" Suddenly from behind me I hear the mutts reappearing. Their barks are growing louder and louder as they get closer and closer.

Peeta looks at me with the most tired and desperate eyes, and he steps in close for one last kiss. It's his turn to pour his soul into me. I wish it could never end. But it does. And the reality of our situation comes full circle as the mutts are so close I can almost feel them. "I love you Peeta..." I say one more time.

He manages a sad smile and says, "I know."

With the mutts not 20 yards off, I know what I have to do. I take aim and point it right at his heart, our eyes meet one final time before I shut mine closed and let the arrow fire... As I do, I feel my heart break.

I feel the hovercraft take me, but I am blurred ahead. I don't see the post-Games interview with Caesar, nor the crowning ceremony. I am in the Presidential Palace in the office of one President Coriolanus Snow. The stench of blood and roses permeates everything and I'm surprised my dream - or rather nightmare I should say - could be this vivid.

"Ms. Everdeen, I must once again congratulate you on your victory in the Hunger Games. You fought very valiantly..." He says to me.

I nod. I'm still searching for a way out of this horrible nightmare, but nothing seems available to me. "Thank you."

His eyes narrow and he looks at me pointedly, "I am sorry for your loss. Your love story was truly inspirational, and the citizens of the capital share in the sorrow of your loss." I'm sure they do. I nod solemnly and turn away from him as I feel a tear running down my face. "However, we must discuss what is to become of you now that the Games are over and Mr. Mellark is dead."

My heart beat is increasing and fear is setting in. "What do you mean?"

His devilish grin reappears, the one that haunts my sleep always, "You see Ms. Everdeen when a victor of the Games is deemed, shall we say, desirable, by citizens of the Capital, I have a duty to make them happy."

Fear is replaced with horror as I remember what Johanna told me. She was almost forced into prostitution but refused Snow, which led to him murdering everyone that was important to her... "No..." I say with desperation in my voice.

"Oh yes I'm afraid. Many men in the Capital find you very attractive and are willing to pay quite large sums of money to bed you."

"NO!" His only response is that stupid little chuckle of his. "You made me kill the boy I love, and now you're going to sell my body off to the highest bidder? What makes you think you have the ability to do such things to people?"

"My dear girl, because I am the President. Now, if you don't want to go through with it, I quite understand. But other arrangements will have to be made..."

I already know what he means. I just want this nightmare to be over. "No... You can't kill them."

He smiles victoriously. "What a smart little girl you are, you already know what I'm going to do. Well then, if you can't handle losing your family, I suggest you ready yourself. Your first... appointment is later tonight." My heart was already broken. Now it is shriveling up and becoming non-existent.

Once again, time blurs forward and I'm in a very extravagant, luxurious room somewhere in the Capital, and I'm sitting down on a bed made from the finest linens in all of Panem I'm sure. A very fat, very old man comes drunkenly stumbling into the room, "ahhh yessss eeeff eeettt eeesssnnntttt 'm lovvely victor," he says slurring his words the whole way.

I'm giving up at this point. There's no point in fighting it. My life is over. "What do you want me to do?" I ask.

He does not respond, he stumbles up to me, puts his hands on my waist and pulls me into a kiss. I do not kiss him back. Snow can sell my body, but he cannot sell my free will. I will not freely make love to this ogre, he's paying to make love to me. He violently rips off my dress and throws me onto the bed. "You arrrrreeee allllllll minnnnnneee Ms. Everdeeeeeeeen. Its time tooo fergetttt all about thaaaat boooyyyyy of yours frommmm de Gamessssss."

As he lays his massive body down on top of mine I begin screaming. Please just let me wake up. Please just let me wake up. This is what life would be like without Peeta. This is what life would have been like if he wasn't there for me. A nightmare.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I am screaming at the top of my lungs.

"Katniss, it's ok! Katniss, you're ok! Calm down!" I hear a familiar voice. A voice I so desperately wanted to hear.

I open my eyes and I see that Prim is now standing and looking at me in disbelief. But her's is not the voice that I heard. I turn to my left and I see that Peeta is now awake gazing down at me with his never ending blue pools for eyes. "Peeta?" I ask softly.

He smiles at me. "Yes, who did you think it was?"

I let myself laugh as I give him a warm hug and wrap my arms around his chest. "How long have you been awake?"

But it's Prim's turn to answer, "Just now."

I look at her curiously and then back to Peeta. "What do you mean?"

Prim gives me a knowing smile as she shakes her head, "I think your screams must've woken him up."

I open my eyes in incredulousness as I look right into his eyes, "Always there for me, aren't you?" I ask somewhat guiltily.

He nods, "Always," but it is not in the same warm, loving tone that I am used to. I understand that now that he's awake, we have some talking to do.

"Hey, Prim, do you think you could give us a minute?"

She nods, "Yep. I'm gonna go let Mom know Peeta is awake. But I'll tell her not to come in for a little bit." She walks out of the room and slams the door shut.

I rearrange my body so that I am facing Peeta and not curled up next to him. I need to make sure he looks into my eyes as I tell him everything. "You know you really worried me..." Damn, that is not how I wanted to start this conversation. I really suck at this kind of stuff.

He scoffs a little bit and rolls his eyes, "Yeah well, you really worried me."

I grab his face as our eyes meet once more. Blue meets Gray. "Peeta, I'm so sorry for what you saw yesterday. But please, just let me explain." He doesn't say anything, so I take this as a 'go ahead.' I take a deep breath before continuing. "Gale and I had been fighting the entire time we went hunting, and I mean the whole time."

But Peeta stops me before I can continue, "About what?"

I smile, "You." I let that sink in for a minute or two and I can see the wheels turning in his head. "Gale still doesn't like us being together, and long story short I told him that there's nothing he can do about it. I told him all the reasons why I love you so much - "

"Which are?" Peeta interrupts. He is clearly trying to get me to cough it all up, and given what happened, I believe that I owe it to him.

I sigh but recompose myself and our eyes meet once again, "Before I met you Peeta, I didn't really believe in love. Your selflessness, your desire to help me and keep me alive at all costs is what made me believe in love. Your desire to help me all those years ago with the bread when I would've starved to death otherwise, it gave me hope. It made me believe that there is good in people. Your inner goodness that is so incorruptible is my inspiration to be a better person every day. Your positivity and optimism about the world even in the dark times we live in brighten my day and give me hope that, yes, we can make it through this war intact. When I wake up in the morning, your deep blue eyes brighten my day, every single day. You are my dandelion in the spring. You are my hope for a better tomorrow. You are my everything Peeta Mellark, and that is why I love you."

I let this hit him. I think it's probably the first time I've really showed my hand when it comes to our relationship. He's the one who's good with words, not me. I am immensely relieved when I feel his lips gently brush up against mine as he pulls me into a deep kiss. I let my tongue trail against his lower lip as I let out a satisfied moan, so happy that this didn't come between us. So happy that this didn't ruin our fleeting relationship. Eventually, our tongues are tied together as the kiss only deepens as the minutes pass by. I have no idea how long it's been, but when it ends, his eyes meet mine and he smiles with a confidence I'm sure was taken from him after what he saw yesterday.

"Can you forgive me?" I ask quietly.

He laughs a little bit, "Only if you can forgive me."

I look at him, perplexed, "For what?"

"For not believing in you. I should have trusted that you wouldn't hurt me like that."

I am both touched and hurt by this comment. Touched because of Peeta's never ending love for me, and hurt because I know that I have hurt him before. I don't respond, but I just pull him into another deep kiss. In between gasps for air I manage, "There. Is. Nothing. To. Forgive." As we continue the kiss. I'm very happy that I didn't even have to tell Peeta I slapped Gale twice to reach this happy ending. After the nightmare I just had, I never want to let this boy go. The idea of being with somebody else repulses me.

However, we are interrupted when my mother walks into the room. "Oh. Sorry." She says awkwardly as I look away and blush and Peeta laughs. "Sorry to interrupt my dears, but I do need to check Peeta's vitals."

I nod and reluctantly stand up from his bed. But Peeta takes my hand in his and says, "Everything is going to be ok. I promise."

I smile. "Ok."

Realizing he never said it back to me, the words I want to hear escape his lips, "I love you."

With my mother checking his blood pressure I can't help but giggle and blush, but our eyes meet again and I say, "I know."

Well, what'd you think? A good conclusion to that cliffhanger? Please let me know. And bonus points plus a cookie to anyone who can spot the lines I used from another movie 3:) hehehe.