Chapter 9:

Bellamy and Finn looked at each other. Bellamy wasn't sure if Finn was going to hug him or choke him but he didn't have to find out the answer because Abby Griffin was by Finn's side as if he mattered more than Bellamy. If she knew what Finn did to her daughter…

Bellamy had to focus. He couldn't keep going to that place in his mind—or that place in his heart that Clarke inhabited. He needed to be strong, he needed to be cold. He had to be a warrior, not a love-struck idiot.

But looking at the way Abby put her hair up—the way she carried herself. She was a constant reminder of Clarke. Finn looked at Bellamy, "Where do you think they are?"

"I don't know, Finn." Bellamy didn't even sound aggravated by his presence. "We're going to find them, though. I promise you that."

"Do you think they're-"

"Don't go there." It wasn't Bellamy that responded, it was Abby. "Finn, you know Clarke better than anyone right now…where would she be?"

"Mrs. Griffin." Finn shook his head, "I don't know Clarke anymore… you're going to have to ask her partner." He moved his head towards Bellamy. "They're close."

Abby looked like it actually pained her to talk to Bellamy. "I got arrested saving a man—a good man—that you shot."

"I got pardoned."

"I didn't have the opportunity to vote." She said coldly, "But my daughter trusts you enough to lead these teens and I can deal with that until we find her." Bellamy nodded.

Finn opened his mouth, "We have to go back to the campsite."

"Consider it done."

XXX

Clarke, Octavia, Raven and Miller sat in a corner, sipping on fresh water with small smiles on their faces. "Pregnant?" Miller said, "Congrats!" Clarke sighed because she wasn't feeling the warm fuzzy feelings that people were supposed to feel when it came to pregnancy. She was scared, she was nervous and she was on edge. She wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of the creepy place and find Bellamy. But, she couldn't afford to be impulsive.

"We could open the doors." Raven said, "But we'd we killing innocent people that have no idea what's going on."

"We could kill the leaders and doctors." Octavia said, "They're the evil people."

"But these people have grown up with them…they'll revolt and people will die." Clarke said, "We have to do this with as little blood on our hands as possible. We need to focus on our escape first and then gathering people to help us."

Miller opened his mouth but paused before he actually said anything, "We're going to leave them behind…"

"We have to in order to save their lives."

"Ever feel like we're reliving history?" He said, "The people on the Ark made the same choice a hundred years ago… they left the ancestors of the grounders behind, left these people behind and look at the results." He exhaled, "There are going to be causalities no matter what Clarke. It's your call to make. Whose lives matter? Whose don't?"

"Everyone matters." Raven spoke up, "And if we stay here we're going to end up like the grounders! We can't avoid death all around."

"Stuck between a rock and a hard place." Clarke mused absently as her voice became monotonous. Was she going to have to make a sacrifice that she didn't want to have to make?

Her life.

The life of her unborn child?

Who matters?

XXX

Bellamy and Finn looked at the destruction of their home. Toppled over tents and some type of left over residue lining everything…it sickened Bellamy. "Lincoln was with them." He said, "He's a trained warrior…"

"He's one man." Finn said, "He can't protect nearly 100 people…can he?"

Bellamy shrugged, "He shouldn't have to." I should have been here… "It wasn't the grounders. Clarke has the treaty with them…that tattoo and all." He shouldn't be thinking about that tattoo—it was a major turn on. "The grounders had enemies before us."

"And?"

"And maybe we inherited their enemies." Bellamy told him, "You're a tracker, Finn…I need you to track Lincoln."

"Not Clarke?"

"Not Clarke." Bellamy said, "Lincoln's our best chance right now. If he could, he'd leave tracks or something."

Abby caught up with them eventually. Her hair starting to frizz out like Clarke's did sometimes. "Anything?" She asked while Finn closed his eyes and knelt on his knee. Bellamy wanted to laugh bitterly at him because he looked like a fool. He was definitely showing off.

Bellamy was the one who spoke, "The gate is slightly damaged on the left side but it seems that whoever came in, came in through the front…the lack of bodies says that my people were either killed or they were drugged. The optimist in me is praying it was some type of drug which would explain whatever the hell this dust is."

"And if they were killed?"

"There's no blood." Bellamy said, "It would be a poison and if this dust is a poisonous thing then we're dead." And if they're all dead…I want to be dead.

XXX

Clarke wasn't in the habit of touching her stomach yet but there she was staring at a mirror, touching her stomach protectively in the private place she found in the mountain camp. It was supposed to be a public bathroom but it was far too clean to have ever been used. She didn't want to lose her baby… She didn't want to lose their baby. She wasn't choosing to put herself above anyone else but she was choosing to put her child above everyone else.

Selfish or not…she would claim the title.

"Baby Blake." She mused before the door was opened and she removed her hands from her stomach. It was Raven. "I've made a decision, Raven." She said in her steeliest voice possible. She wanted to sound like a leader. She wanted to be effective and precise. She wanted to save lives but she had to pay the price for each life she wanted to save. "We find Lincoln and we run."

"When?" Raven said, "How?"

"The only way we know how." Clarke said, "We fight through it until we're successful."

Raven nodded, "I'm scared, Clarke. For you…you're the type of person that takes every loss of life personally."

"The day I don't take their lives personally, is the day I've lost myself." She said, "People are going to die. We have to make sure it's not our people." Clarke then went into the specifics of her plan. Raven listened without commenting the entire time she spoke.

"Get your rest." Raven said before leaving, "Please."

XXX

Bellamy and Finn were holding their breath, waiting to drop dead. They never did. His hands were twitching and he was running off of minimal sleep. "I love her." He said once he released another hard breath. Finn's head popped up and he looked at Bellamy with this look of hurt in his eyes. They were sitting in the middle of the camp being watched by everyone.

Finn swallowed hard, "I know…She loves you too."

"Then why are you trying to get in the middle of it?"

"Because I'm not the type to give up."

"You gave up on Raven." Bellamy was being mean but he needed an outlet. "She loves your dumbass."

Finn got up and started to walk away, "I know."

XXX

"He's not here!" Octavia screamed, kicking an empty cage. "Clarke…" She watched as the warrior's girlfriend fell apart before her. She'd never seen her cry so hard before in her life. Her mouth was open as the loud sounds of her heartbreaking echoed throughout the grounder holding area. She was swaying as she started to collapse—her hand gripping her heart because that's where the pain was coming from.

"You have to keep it together, Octavia!" Clarke said as she glanced around at Miller and Raven who were frozen as they watched Octavia. "Keep. It. Together." Clarke said, "We're going to find Lincoln…Octavia, breathe. Raven, I need you to help me with her."

Miller and Clarke took the lead, pushing through the cages and hitting the elevator door. They were going through the most secretive part of the entire mountain. Raven nearly carried Octavia as they walked. "Two guards…two guns." Miller said quietly, pointing to the guards at the end of the hallway. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Her head was spinning and it was like she wasn't really doing the things that she was doing. Miller took the first guy down, throwing the gun to Clarke. Clarke pointed it at the other guard. "You don't have to die but I will kill you if you get in our way." He lowered himself to his knees, Miller stripped both men of everything they had such as radios and spare guns. Miller nodded when he concluded they were safe.

He handed a small hand gun to Clarke and the larger one to Raven. "It kicks." He explained, "Don't want to hurt baby Blake."

They started to run towards the door at the end of the hallway, pausing only for Clarke to say. "We don't know what's waiting for us out there."

"Lame ass movie quote?" Raven offered, "See you on the other side."

Three Hours Later…

"I got you Miller." Clarke said, her hands pressing down on his shoulder. "I need a shirt." They were in the middle of the forest, a good distance away from the mountain. They hadn't come across anyone… it scared her but it was also comforting to be with her friends. Octavia was acting lively once more. She'd restored her hope after the shoot-out with the Mountain Men. She was looking for Lincoln or she was looking for revenge.

Clarke was just happy that she was walking on her own again.

"Clarke, are you crying?" Miller asked, his face seeming to pale as he looked at the usually composed medic. His eyes were wide and he grabbed her wrist. "Am I going to die?"

She wiped her eyes, smearing some of his blood on her face. "No…Of course not…I can't-"

"Pregnancy hormones." Raven said, "She's crying because she's pregnant. Your wound is superficial."

"A bullet went through his shoulder!" Clarke yelled at her as if Raven's words offended her. "I'll take care of you. Don't talk to him like that!"

"Fine, mom!" Raven said back, "Here."

She handed Clarke her jacket so Clarke could use it to put pressure on Miller's wound. She tied it and helped her friend up. Miller nodded, wincing because of the pain. They were on their way to the Ark campsite. She needed to see Bellamy…

She needed to see him breathe.

If she had to ask god for one thing right now—that was it. She wanted to see his chest fill up with air and his beautiful mouth release it. She wanted a lifetime of watching him breathe. But she could settle for one last time.

They marched throughout the woods until they caught the sight of familiarity. "That's…" She couldn't remember who started the sentence.

"An electric fence." She finished, her hand cover her stomach protectively. "Come on…we have to tell them about the others."

"Why does it feel like we're walking into a worse situation than before?" Miller asked.

"Because, in a way, the second we walk through that fence all of our power is gone." Clarke said, "Until we escape this place too."

"If we didn't have heavy emotional attachments behind that fence…I would say we should have gone to our friends first."

Miller seemed to talk to himself when he said, "When did the enemies become our friends, and family become our enemies?"