Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

This is the edited version of the story True Self.

Great thanks to 'debookworm01', my beta for helping me out over here.

I hope you enjoy this chapter…

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Kagome let out a long suffering sigh as she trudged along the path ahead of her. Inuyasha had set them on a very hard and fast pace, and he was taking no word about rest. It had been going on like this for about a week. He remained edgy, and every new day he chose a new direction. She was not the only one tired; the rest of the group was as well. But she was not going to complain about it.

So much had changed since the day she had arrived in this era. She had made new friends; friends who were ready to die for her. However, she had not only made friends, but enemies as well. Oh, how her life used to circle around only boys, grades, school and such petty issues. All had changed and now her life revolved around a mere jewel. A jewel that had destroyed not only hers, but everyone else's lives as well. Her eyes glazed over as she remembered how she came about to be here…

Confused, she had roamed the new era she had been unceremoniously dumped into. Earlier in the morning she had been searching the well shed for their family cat, when a blue-coloured light had burst forth from the well, bringing along with itself a centipede demon that had grabbed herand dragged her down the well. The next moment she was in an unfamiliar place.

She had wandered aimlessly among forests. As she was wandering, she had stumbled upon the sleeping hanyou, Inuyasha. She had never seen any demon before so she was surprised and shocked – if her outrageous gasp was anything to go by. Not only that, she was mesmerized bythe sight of him as well. She had become so engrossed in him that she hadn't heard the villagers who came from behind her. She was not even aware of their presence until the moment shewas captured. She wasaccused of being a doppelganger, a demon. And all she had done in her defence was sit there, confused.

As accusations of her being a demon had come out as fruitless, she was took in by the head priestess of that village named Kaede, the baby sister of Kikyo. Later on she was announced as the reincarnation of a woman she had never once seen in her life – a woman whose name was Kikyo.

In the night the centipede demon had come again. She had come in search of a jewel, a bauble also known as the Shikon Na Tama, of which she had thought to be only a fairy tale. Afraid and confused, she had started running, trying to lead the demon away from the village so it would not harm anyone else.

The demon had attacked her, and bit out a chunk of her flesh from the side of her left hip. In the process, the demon had taken out the jewel from within her. The centipede had then swallowed the jewel whole, and she had found herself bound by the centipede to thefamed God Tree, where the pinned half-breed lay in an eternal sleep.

She still remembered her surprise – her shock, when she had seen Inuyasha alive, looking down at her struggling form, instead of sleeping as he was said to. And then the anger, that had coursed within her, as he had called her weak and filthy. So angered was she that she had done what the hanyou had asked her, and that was to pull out the arrow which had pinned him to the tree.

Later on, Inuyasha had saved her from the centipede, or so it had seemed to her then, and then he proceeded to threaten her to get the jewel.

She had not cared for the bauble then, thinking it to be nothing. She had thought that he had actually helped her, so to thank him she had moved forward, but he was bitter, thinking her to be his lost love Kikyo, and he then tried to kill her. Though the key words remained; 'tried to'. For the priestess Kaede put a subjugation spell onto him, enabling him to be under her command,a thing which made him sour.

She was then ordered by the priestess to subdue the hanyou, and so in the desperation and pressure she said the first word that came to her mind, and that was "SIT". As she had said that word the beads around Inuyasha's neck – as a result of the spell – glowed bright pink, almost magenta in colour, and pulled him down towards the ground, face first.

Later on she was given the task to protect the jewel. It was also revealed that she was in the past, 500 years to be exact, and the well through which she was pulled into this era actually worked vice versa as well.

She had been unknowing of the dangers of the era she was thrown into at first. So one day, out of anger, she had stormed off into the woods, where lurked the creatures she had once believed to be in myths only. There the jewel was once again stolen from her by a crow demon.

She had not believed it when the old insane lady, that is, priestess Kaede had told her that the jewel was important. She had dismissed the accident as though it was nothing. The very hanyou who had on previous occasion tried to kill her, urged her to get it back. Thinking that it mattered to him, she took up a bow and an arrow, and gave it a shot. The arrow, though charged with her untrained, un-balanced purification powers, had killed off the crow demon, but in process had also shattered the powerful artefact into hundreds of shards with only one shard remaining in her grasp.

That was the greatest folly she had ever done in her life…

Being the protector of the jewel, she was able to sense the location of those shards and see them no matter where they were hidden, whether they were hidden within clothes, or elements of any type, and even within flesh. Thinking of it as her duty to gather the shards – as she had broken the jewel in the first place – she set out on a journey to collect them, and to fuse them back into one jewel again.

Soalong with Inuyasha, she journeyed to gather the shards spread around feudal Japan. Even though at that time he had done it for his selfish reasons, reasons that were to make a wish onto the jewel, a wish to becomea full-fledged demon.

During their journey to collect the shards both of them had met foes and friends alike. Some even joined their little group. The very first person to enter their little group was none other than a small Kitsune called Shippo, who was the child of their group. Thencame Miroku; the wise one of their group.And then finally came, Sango and her familiar, Kirara, a fire cat.

Though there were some who joined their little group, there were also some who though did not join their group, were friends all the same. One of them was none other than the Lord of the Northern Lands, Kouga. Kouga was more of an annoyance to her sometimes, since he kept on pressing that she was his mate, which always led to a fight between him and Inuyasha. However, he was still a great friend and ally.

Along with friends, her group has also met many enemies as well. The very demon,they all wished to kill was Naraku. Naraku was the very person who was the cause of all their agonies. He too was collecting the jewel shards, and in doing so he had destroyed many lives; innocent lives. He was not alone, for alongside him were his 'attachments', so to say.

These attachments were actually a part of Naraku himself, parts which he had cut from his body. They include a void demon, Kanna; a wind witch, Kagura; a spider demon, Hakudoshi and finally the most important of all, the bearer of the real heart of Naraku, Akago.

The reality of the world is not divided between black and white, there is also grey in between. So along with meeting many friends and foes, their group of six also met people who were neither their enemies nor their friends. One of them was Lord Sesshomaru, theLord of the Western Lands.

Sesshomaru was the older half-brother of Inuyasha. At first Sesshomaru had been adamant in killing his half-brother Inuyasha for his sword 'Tetsusaiga'. But then as Sesshomaru realised that the sword was the only thing keeping Inuyasha's demonic side at bay he stopped pursuing his brother for the sword, surprising them all. From then on, he seemed to be helping the group more than trying to demolish them.

Helping…that was the biggest matter for Kagome. Everyone seemed to help, except for her. She was most useless one in the group. Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha, Kirara…they all could handle their own in a battle…even Shippo could protect himself. But she was the only one in the group who could not even kill a lower level demon.

Three years!

Three years had passed since she had come into this era, and still nothing. She could do nothing! She could not even hold her bow correctly, or even fire an arrow straight. It was good that most demons were larger in size; otherwise her arrows would never hit them. Every time she had to pray to Kami, pray to let her arrow hit her mark. So many times she had not only jeopardised not only her, but many lives around her. So all in all if she had to sum up, she was the weakest in the group and a burden altogether.

She just felt so useless.

She had asked her friends to train her, but a certain hanyou would become irritated and disagree. Then her friends would make some excuse about not having time or she didn't need it. She was just tired of this. She really wanted to be of some help.

Even Shippo didn't need her anymore. They had found out about his family and currently he was living with them. He would visit the group once in a while like he was visiting right now. He would usually come when they were back at the village, and then he would travel with the group for a while, one week at the most, and then he would leave on his own. After living with his relatives he had become quite powerful, skilled and could handle his own against lower level demons. He could even identify aura's now, which helped him avoid the powerful demons he could not stand against.

She just felt pathetic. Then there was the issue of her future. It was just sinking day by day. Her family had been supportive to her all the while but she knew they were also disappointed in her. Her mother would always be calm and supportive of her situation. She would give a sad smile and then comfort her. Her brother would help in her studies and her grandpa would also encourage her in his own crazy little way.

Her family was not only the reason she worried about her future. No! How long before this hunt was completed? There were only two parts of the jewel left now. Quarter of the jewel hung around her neck and the other part was in the possession of Naraku.

Kouga's jewel shards had been taken during an ambush from Naraku. Kohaku's shard had been taken before their very eyes from Naraku as well. Sango had been devastated about Kohaku's death but in the end she had satisfied herself with the thought that he had already been dead.

After they defeated Naraku, then she would be sent to the future by the jewel, if not then she would go by herself. So, she worried more about her life in the future than anything else. She needed to have good grades, so that when she went back she would at least have a chance to start her life.

Why would she stay? There was nothing left for her here in the past. Sango and Miroku had confessed their feelings, and surely they would marry and have children. Shippo didn't need her, as he had his own family. He was also the upcoming Lord of the East, as his father was the former one. And Inuyasha… she had given up on him a long time ago. During this journey she came to realise that Inuyasha would never be able to love her, as he saw Kikyo in her and that was not acceptable to her. She wanted someone who would love her for who she was, not as a shadow of someone else.

So what was there left for her in the past…nothing! They would all move on. She would be left alone in this era to fend for herself. It was not like she could marry. She needed to marry the person who would understand her and her ideals, which considering the men in that era, was not possible. Also, after being in the company of demons for such a long while, she wanted to marry a demon, not any human male. This was certainly not possible, as what demon in his right mind would marry a miko?

She also knew that no man in the future could meet her standards, but there would be something for her to go for or perhaps have a stable normal life.

So she worried about her future. There used to be a time when she would dream about living in this era and being the wife of a certain silver dog-eared hanyou. But now she knew that that would never happen. A bittersweet laugh came out of her mouth at that thought.

She stopped in her stride as her friends looked at her weirdly, but she just shook her head at them giving them a small smile.

Then a gruff voice said from ahead of the group,"Keh! Wench. Looks like a little walking had tired you out," he continued, "we will camp here." With that said Inuyasha jumped up high into a tree.

She inwardly flinched at his tone but thanked him nonetheless. Even after these three years he couldn't even respect her as a friend. She just shook her head at that and set about making the camp. Sango and Miroku said nothing at this as they got lost in their little world talking about Naraku and his plans.

After the dinner was served, all of them went to their respecting sleeping places. Inuyasha as usual remain perched in his tree. Sango and Miroku lay side by side in front of the fire, as usual talking about something. Kirara sat at the other end of the fire at Sango's right side in her true form as Shippo lay curled up with her. Kagome, on the other hand, lay in her sleeping bag, unable to sleep for some odd reason.

Even after a long while she still could not sleep, and watched as, one by one, her friends fell into the realm of sleeping as she lay there continuing on her part of self-loathing.

She didn't know for how long she was lost in her musings but a voice from in front of her caught her attention. She looked up to see a flash of silver and red. She sighed, knowing what this flash was. Inuyasha must have left the camp to go to his long lost lover. She was sure of it. And as if to confirm her suspicions she felt a tug in her soul, and if that wasn't much proof then those snake like thingies called soul collectors with souls in their claws was. She didn't know why she stood up to follow him, but as she didn't have anything else to do and as she couldn't sleep, she might as well follow him.

She had a weird feeling in her stomach, but shrugged to herself, as it was probably nothing. She silently stood up so as not to disturb anyone and went after Inuyasha.

As she walked she heard noises from ahead of her and as much as she could, silently moved towards those noises. She hid behind a tree and watched as Inuyasha and Kikyo hugged. She had no fear of being caught as whenever Inuyasha met with Kikyo he became like a lost puppy and lost all his senses.

It was the plain old scene. Inuyasha and Kikyo would hug and then they would speak their names to each other like they were doing now.

"Inuyasha."

"Kikyo."

Then they would sit together and speak in low, hushed tones. She thought about leaving them and silently turned around to go back to camp but something caught her attention.

"Kikyo, where are you leading us?"

Leading us? What do you mean leading us, Inuyasha?She thought as Kikyo answered:

"Inuyasha, we will reach our destination soon. Don't you trust me anymore?"

"Yes! I do, Kikyo, but you just keep on changing directions," Inuyasha said, with adoration shining in his eyes.

His words rang in her head like a broken record and then suddenly it all just clicked in her head why Inuyasha was edgy. Why almost every day he changed directions. Why at every night he would sneak off. It all fell into place inside her mind. He did it all for Kikyo!

Whatever they said after that she didn't hear, as anger build up in her. They had been moving at such a hard pace just because Inuyasha wanted to keep track with Kikyo. Despite the fact that many a time Kikyo had betrayed them all by siding with Naraku. Kagome had pointed this out, but Inuyasha didn't believe her.

Many a time she would fight with Inuyasha on this topic but he didn't believe her or anyone else for that matter. He would just turn up his face. She had let it go, in defeat, thinking one day he would understand. She always ignored his meetings with Kikyo thinking he just wanted to be with her but here he was making plans for their route of the next day with HER!

And Kami knows where that golem was leading them. It could be a trap for Kami's sake and he didn't even think of asking anyone else about it. He was just lost in Kikyo's cruel love like a puppy following his master. He didn't even think about her betrayals. Least he could do was discuss it with them but NO! He didn't think it necessary to include his friends in his plans even though he could be leading them to their deaths.

She quickly calmed herself down lest she gave herself away or had a fight with Inuyasha, which she knew would be fruitless. She turned around, determined to think about this matter later, discuss it with her friends and then confront Inuyasha about it, but once again, it all went down the flush as once again a sentence from Inuyasha caught her attention.

"Kikyo, I don't know why you don't join in with the group! It would be wonderful and you are even more powerful of a miko than Kagome. You would be of great help. I have to save her every time. If you were there it would be helpful. We could always send her back. She is always whining about her tests and all. She could go and do it all since you would be there to take her place. And moreover you would be a more powerful asset to our pack. "

What Kikyo answered to that didn't matter to Kagome as hurt and anger swelled in her heart. Before she could even comprehend what she was doing, she started running in a random direction as tears streamed down her face. That statement hurt her more than she would like to confess. Her heart shattered into millions of shards. Everyone just thought she was weak. She was of no help to anyone. She was more like luggage which was holding them back.

She knew they all thought her as weak. Sango and Miroku didn't say it out loud, but she knew they always thought of her as liability. She knew they never thought in a bad way about her but they would always devise plans which mostly centred in protecting her rather than attacking their enemy.

She wished to protect them sometimes than to be a liability to them, but then all of them would always object from training her. In her own era also she couldn't train because Inuyasha wouldn't give her enough time. And with Lady Kaede, it wasn't possible, considering they hardly stayed there at the village. They would always stay there for a few hours. Enough for her to gather supplies, or if they stayed it was for two or three days, which she spent in her era to cope up with her studies. She knew she was weak but hearing it from her best friend….though indirectly, hurt her more than she would care to admit.

She didn't know how long she ran, as all of the day's stress and exhaustion caught up to her. With the additional mindless running she knew she won't be able to stay awake anymore as black spots covered her vision. Before she could even stop her running, she collapsed on the unforgiving cold, forest ground wishing to be strong…

Kagome blinked her eyes open as she felt soft grass beneath her. The soft music of birds chirruping filled her ears along with the sound of ocean waves – wait a second!

Calm, ocean waves…?!

She was sure, they were not near any ocean, and the land they were travelling in was not near ocean or sea. She didn't even have gotten a chance at a proper bath since they had started their hunt after their rest in the village, because of the random directions of Inuyasha. At the thought of him anger build up in her.

Then a deep masculine voice startled her out of her reverie of mutilating a certain hanyou.

"Calm down little one."

0o0

So, what do you think?