They reached Kansas City shortly after one and following another one-side debate Luann was forced to pull off into a barbecue shop for lunch. How could they pass through the home of barbecue without sampling some Bernice argued.
A hour later, following an intense hand-inspection by Tiffany they piled back into the car and took off. Luann, burping unexpectedly, and most unladylike had to admit that it tasted just as good the second time around. But the bill... She wasn't going to enjoying totaling up today's expenses.
They pulled into a motor lodge late in the day near Hayes, Kansas, rented two rooms and just collapsed on the beds for a while. Tiffany, who hadn't been driving for most of the day, was first up, looking for a place to eat. There was a restaurant next door to the motor lodge. At that point in the day any place that served food slightly more warm than cold would have been fine with her. Then she saw the sign out front: "Wednesday - Karaoke Night!" She checked her watch. Tonight was Wednesday. She hurried inside, splashed water on her face and changed her top. "Guys! guys! get up," she ordered the weary girls. "It's karaoke night!"
"What of it?" Luann groaned, dragging a pillow over her head.
"Come on, it's be fun. And it's at a restaurant, so we can eat, too."
"What so fun about karaoke?" Bernice wondered. "It's not like any of us can sing."
"I have a wonderful singing voice," Tiffany insisted in an an offended tone.
"So does a frog," Luann insisted from under the pillow, "but you don't see them running off to Karaoke."
"I won the Miss Chamber of Commerce with my singing voice," Tiffany insisted. "What did you ever win?"
"Lead in 'West Side Story'," Bernice couldn't resist answering.
"A high school play! I won a beauty contest!"
"She's not going to stop unless we go," Crystal advised as she pushed herself upright and swung her feet to the floor. "Give me a minute to fix my make-up," she added, standing up. But before she could move a step Bernice had hopped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. "I gotta go," she said from behind the closed door.
"It's not like I was going to take forever," Crystal complained as she checked herself in the mirror over the TV. She opened her purse and pulled out some black lipstick. Carefully applying it, then made faces in the mirror to check on its application. She sighed "good enough," just as Bernice came out of the john.
They roused the boys and wandered across the two parking lots to the "Chuck Roast Bar and Grill."
"Looks like a tavern," Bernice groaned. "You know we're not allowed in bars until we're 21."
"It's too big to be a bar. It has to be a restaurant," Tiffany insisted. "In any case maybe they won't ask our ages."
Inside the vestibule doors lead to the right to to a bar and left to a dinning room. A hostess at the end of the hall waited for them. She was an older looking woman, leathery looking with a helmet of hair. She wore a pale blue dress uniform that reached to her knees and a large white apron. Over the chest the apron read "Chuck Roasts's in large letters under it in smaller print was "If it ain't messy, it ain't barbecue."
Tiffany took the lead. "Table for six," she said.
"Is there an age..." Bernice started to ask but the hostess just smiled. "You kids here for the Karaoke? Don't think I've seen you before," she went on. "You from out of town?"
"We're from Pittsville," Tiffany said, adding the state they came from.
"That's a long way to travel for some singing." the hostess said. She had made some annotation on her sitting chart, picked up menus and lead the way through the doorway into the dinning room. There was a mix of round tables seating four and square, two person tables. The place was somewhat worn, dimly lit in a vaguely western theme. At the far side of the room, near the stage, the hostess did something under one side of a round table causing part of edge to drop. She did that to another table, then pushed the two square edges together. Knute and Gunther helped arrange chairs around what was now a table for six.
They ordered and as they ate the dinning room started filling up. By nine o'clock, when the karaoke was to start Luann could see the hostess was combining strangers to fill any empty chairs in the room.
An announcer mounted the stage and welcomed everyone to the restaurant. He briefly explained that there was a sign-up sheet at the edge of the stage and the best signer would win a fifty dollar prize. He ended by saying he'd give people a couple minutes to sign up and they'd get started. Tiffany was on her feet as soon as he placed the mike back in the rest. "Come on, you poseur," she told Luann. They were on the second column of the sheet by the time they could sign-in. They were handed a battered and dog-eared sheet of titles that were in the karaoke machine.
When Tiffany's turn finally came up she broke into "I will always Love you." - "And I-i-i-i-i-i will always love you-u-u-u-u-u-u" On the drawn out phrases she almost sounded liked she was yodeling. She finished to a round of applause, blow kisses at the crowd and walked back to their table. "Beat that!" she exulted to Luann.
"That shouldn't be hard. The only person who could ever sing that song well as its author, Dolly Parton, and that's because she could hit high notes that only dogs could hear."
"Are you calling me a dog?" Tiffany seethed.
"Just the opposite. Now if you'll excuse me, they're calling my name."
Luann walked up to the stage and punched in the number of the song she wanted. Before hitting 'play' she raised the mike and said "I want to dedicate this song to a certain Australian, who if I ever find him is going to wish he were in prison. She hit 'play' and began crooning "There is a place in New Orleans, they call the Rising Sun..."
She finished to a healthy round of applause and even a couple 'woo-hoos.' She sat back down and smiled broadly at Tiffany. After a moment the blonde ran up to the stage and signed up again.
"I am better than you and I am going to prove it," she said sitting back down at the table.
After a little chiding from Bernice and Gunther Luann got up and signed on for another song.
There were a few more locals before Tiffany was called to the stage. As she got up on stage she also addressed the audience. "This song is also for a certain Australian who I do not plan to beat up."
She folded her hands around the mike and bowed her head in a prayerful manner as the music started. She sounded surprisingly good as she began "Just call me angel in the morning. Just touch my cheek before you leave me..."
She exited to spirited applause. Sitting down she stuck out her tongue at Luann and quipped "That's how a real singer does it.'
"You know that's a song about a slut." Luann said.
"It is not!" Tiffany huffed. "It's a beautiful love song."
"About a woman who can't tell the difference between sex and love," Luann insisted.
"Luann DeGroot?" The announcer called. Bernice elbowed Luann and jerked her head towards the stage.
"Hope you have something good," Tiffany sneered, "you're going to need it." Luann just smiled.
"It looks like we've got a bit of rivalry going on here," the announcer said, filling in the time as Luann made her way to the stage. "That's the kind of thing that makes Chuck Roast's karaoke night such a great place to be on a Wednesday night."
Luann took the mike from his hand, punched in her selection. "This song spoke to me long ago when I first hear it. And now that I am seventeen it speaks to me even more." She hit play and closed her eyes and waited for the first notes to play.
"I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
There was thunderous applause as she finished the song and left the stage. Tiffany was looking at her poisonously.
"That concludes the competition portion of tonight's show. If anyone would like to come up and sing while our judges try to sober up and pick a winner, the stage is yours.
Knute popped out of his seat and beat a couple other guys to the stage. "This is going to be a disaster," Bernice sighed.
"I didn't know Knute could sing," Gunther said.
"He can't," Crystal answered.
In a high, reedy voice Knute began "East coast girls are really hip, I dig the styles of their hair, and the southern girl with the um - uh - something makes my warm all down there. The Mid-western farmer's daughter im - something - something somethin."
"Oh, Gawd," Crystal groaned, and burned her head in her hands. Tiffany was openingly laughing. Bernice was covering her eyes with her hands and even Gunther was staring with a grimace. Luann flicked through the pages of songs programmed into the karaoke machine, smiling when she found the title she was looking for. She ran over to the stage and hit the 'cancel' button on the player.
"Knute, the words are right there on the screen," she pointed to the large monitor.
"But they go by so fast..." Knute whined.
Luann wondered for a moment if what he really meant was that he couldn't read. It would be like Knute... She keyed in a new three-digit number. "Here, you can't mess up this," she told a confused looking Knute. She jumped off the stage and was back at the table when the familiar three cords began playing.
"Oh, yeah!" Knute shouted before singing "Louie, louie, whoa baby, webalow. Yeah yeah yeah. I said a louie, louie webalow..."
"There are words to that song?" Bernice asked as Luann slid into the chair next to her. "Of course. What song doesn't? It's a Caribbean love song. Sort of. The Kingsmen mumbled the words so badly that no one ever know what they were really singing and even today it's kind of a tradition that you never sing the words clearly."
A minute later Knute had finished the song. He extended his hands in the air with first and last fingers extended, like a rock star. "I'll be here all night! Thank you, you've been a great audience. Don't forget to tip your waitress and spay or neuter your pets!" He yelled then jumped off the stage.
As Knute strutted back to the table cto the sounds of sone friendly laughter and a few cries of "smokin'," Crystal surprised Luann by leaning over and whispering "thanks." Since Crystal had shone no interest in Knute at any time during their road trip so far Luann wasn't sure why it meant so much to the goth girl that she'd saved Knute from completely embarrassing himself.
A guy in blue jeans and a western shirt got up and sang a couple cowboy songs, which were well received at the audience. While he was singing the gang was trying to get one of their other members to go up and sing. Crystal had shook her spikey head and said flatly that was not going to happen. Gunther quailed so much from just the suggestion that he sing in public that for a moment it looked like he was going to retreat into his plain shirt the way a turtle retreats into its shell. That left just Bernice who refused at first but after a bit of pressure finally decided that it would be easier to make a fool of herself in public than to be badgered to death by her friends.
She climbed to the stage and punched in the number of the song she wanted. "This is a song from my favorite end-of-the-world movie," she announced. Then in a flat monotone began singing
I see trees of green... red roses too
I see em bloom... for me and for you
And I think to myself... what a wonderful world.
Luann and the others where clapping madly as she came off the stage. it sort of made up for the lack of applause from the the rest of the room. Bernice's face was beet-red and she was breathing in little gasps as she sat down but with everybody reaching over to pat her back she quickly calmed down.
After a little bit that announcer came back and took the mike. "I'm afraid we're going to have to disappoint Ronnie, who usually wins these contests," he waved in the direction of a tall man in a tight tan suit with an ultra narrow tie, "But the judges were unanimous in picking a newcomer as the best singer in tonight's competition. So lets give a big round of applause..." - Tiffany was already getting out of her seat - "to - ah - Luann DeGroot. winner of tonight's Fifty Dollar Prize. Come on up, Luann."
For a moment it looked like Tiffany was going to leap across the table and strangle Luann but the moment passed.
Luann went up, accepted a hand-shake from the announcer, held up an over-size check for $50 and was asked to sing another song. Luann looked over the list and selected Pink's "Let's get This Party Started." The audience sang along with her.
Afterward as she was leaving, holding up her oversized check the announcer stopped her and whispered in her ear that they'd swap the prop check for real money when she and her party were ready to leave. "I was hoping to keep this," Luann laughed. "I was going to mount it on my wall to show that I'd actually won something in a contest."
"Gosh, little lady, this things cost me a fortune to have made. I'd really rather you took the money."
Luann agreed. She was surprised to see Knute pulling on Crystal's arm as she got back to their table. "I don't sing!" Crystal was saying. "I don't either but we'll have fun." Knute replied. "Besides it'll be a duet. no one will know you're singing." They argued back and forth a little longer before Crystal gave in. She followed Knute to the stage. Knute for his part, stopped to ask Luann the number for "Louie, Louie."
Crystal was an unhappy camper on stage as she waited for the music to start. If looks could kill, Knute would have been dead a dozen times over.
Knute pulled her over for the opening chorus. Crystal's voice was easy to hear over Knute's having a loud, bell-like force to it. She sort of missed noted but could, with a little training, easily have a nice voice.
Crystal let Knute stumbling through the verse, and as she waited for the chorus to come around she started doing a little dance, swaying with the music, shuffling her feet in time with the drums. By the time the chorus arrived she was waving her hands in the air, snapping her fingers, swinging her head about with abandon. Knute soldiered on, half turned so he could watch Crystal dance. Her eyes were closed. she was dancing in her own little world. He forgot to sing the last verse of the song, just stood there, like most of the audience, watching Crystal. When the music stopped Crystal kind of woke up with a jerk. she was breathing heavily and sweat dotted her forehead. She bolted for the stairs and was back at the table by the time Knute had ambled off the stage.
"There! Happy?" She demanded as Knute sat down. His chair was next to hers.
"Man, you know how to dance!" Knute exclaimed and unexpectedly wrapped his arms around her and pulled into a kiss. "You don't know how happy you've made me!"
Crystal pushed away from the skateboarder and swung a slap at him that echoed off the far walls of Chuck Roast Bar and Grill. "Don't ever touch me again!" she snapped and stormed out of the restaurant.
"What did I do?" Knute asked the air and Luann had no more an idea what Crystal's problem was than Knute did.
Crystal's abrupt departure had pretty much killed the mood of the evening and as the others looked at their watches and realized how late it was, and how tired they were from the day of driving, they decided it was time to leave. Luann traded in the prop check - after getting some pictures taken of her with it - for the bill for their dinner. And manager comped the difference between the bill and the prize money.
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The next morning they staggered out of their hotel rooms in the early morning hours and threw their bags into the trunk of Tiffany's caddy. Crystal was sitting next to Tiff in the front seat, map on her lap (she was the official navigator), iPod buds in her ears. Knute wandered out of the boys' room with his case and back pack. He placed both in the trunk then looked around to see where he would be sitting today. Luann and Bernice were in the back seat. Gunther was making a final run through the room to make sure nothing had been left behind. Knute was about to reach for the handle of the back seat door when Crystal popped the front door open and scooted closer to Tiffany. Knute looked dubiously at this invitation before climbing in next to Crystal and closing the door. He was unable to look her in the eye but he must have felt good because soon he was smiling and humming something that could almost be recognized as the beat to "Louie Louie."
I wrote this chapter and a couple others before remembering to had to write a chapter getting them up to here. That chapter, chapter 4, took a long time to do even though I knew everything that was going to happen in it. This chapter was a lot of fun, thinking up songs appropriate for each character. From the song list you can tell I'm an old fogy but I think they all fit very well.