Captain's Log - Stardate 2261.038

The crew should have a decent idea of what not to say around Bones regarding Gem now that Ensign Kolbert made the mistake of implying that our Doctor was starting his own harem. I was impressed. I know Bones has a lot of speed with his hypos. but his speed with his Imperial dagger wasn't anything to sneeze at either.

Of course, the nastiest thing Bones did wasn't to slice him open, it was giving Kolbert over to his nurses for treatment. I doubt the Ensign will make the same mistake twice.

Heading down to Sickbay a few hours later, Kirk was pleased to see the amount of improvement that McCoy had already made. Even more welcome was the improvement in the moods of the nurses and Nurse Chapel even gave a nod of approval when Kirk offered to escort McCoy to the Officers Mess.

McCoy was willing even though he disliked being in the corridors when he wasn't at a hundred percent. He felt better about it when Spock and Gem joined them on the way. McCoy and Gem took the lead as Kirk signaled Spock to join him. He had a question for his First and, since they still weren't sure how much Gem did or didn't understand, he preferred to speak to him out of her presumed hearing range.

As the CMO strode through the crowded corridor, all junior personnel quickly moved out of their way. As McCoy started walking past a knot of other ensigns, one of them gave Gem a long look and remarked to the men around him.

"Damn, I should have gone medical track. Looks like McCoy's adding to his harem."

Spock's keen hearing had picked up the comment and he immediately stopped. Kirk automatically followed suit, looking forward just in time to see the end of the swipe that McCoy had directed toward the abdomen of the ensign who had mouthed off - Kolbert, a command track crewman.

When Kirk looked back on the incident later, he had to wonder what had been going through Ensign Kolbert's brain - assuming he had a functioning one, which was debatable. After all, getting on the bad side of the man who had control over your medical treatment as well as your meal card showed, at the very least, a severe lack of forethought. For now, Kirk was pleasantly surprised at how fast McCoy had been able to take hold of and make use of his uniform dagger.

On Kolbert's part, he didn't seem to realized that he'd been cut at first until a shout from another crew member had him scrambling to keep his intestines from spilling out. As for McCoy, he moved toward one of the intercom units in the corridor as he looked over his dagger.

"McCoy to Sickbay. Nurse Chapel."

"Chapel. What do you need, Doctor?"

"Clean-up in the main corridor leading to the Officers Mess. Ensign Kolbert seems to have run into my dagger. Do whatever you please with him so long as he's not in any danger of dying or becoming unable to do his job again."

McCoy kept one hand near the intercom as he looked back toward Kirk, who responded with a nod of agreement.

"That's all. Get a move on before somebody breaks a leg slipping in this idiot's blood."

"At once, sir."

Gem had been watching everything with wide eyes, but smiled when McCoy offered her his arm. As they began walking again, the other crew personnel practically trampled one another to get out of their path, much to the amusement of Kirk who turned to Spock.

"Considering the number of people in the corridor, word of this should spread pretty fast. I don't think anyone will bother Bones or Gem for a week or two at the very least, do you?"

Clasping his hands behind him, Spock gave a short nod.

"I knew how fast the doctor was with his hypospray, but his speed with his dagger is also impressive."

"I would have thought you'd have given him credit for being good with a blade after that incident on Vulcan."

Kirk found himself studying his First Officer's face, which had a greener cast than usual. Was Spock embarrassed?

"I . . due to my health status at the time, I truthfully have only sporadic memories of that incident, Captain."

"Shame. He put on an impressive display in my opinion."

Kirk remained nearby until Nurse Chapel showed up with Nurse Bierman and a pair of orderlies. Chapel acknowledged Kirk and Spock before doing a quick examination and openly admiring the length and depth of the cut before giving Kolbert a dirty look.

"Quit sniveling. If the Doctor had wanted you dead, he knows all the right places to hit to make you bleed out in seconds. Permission to remove the ensign to Sickbay, Captain?"

"By all means, Nurse Chapel."

She hesitated, then asked another question.

"Does Ensign Kolbert need to be available for standing duty at any particular time, sir?"

Casually waving that off, Kirk started heading toward the Officers Mess again.

"Not particularly. I'll leave those details to the discretion of our CMO. Carry on."

Kolbert was now openly panicking as the orderlies held him down while Bierman tightened the straps to restrain him on the gurney. Chapel looked as if she was briefly debating sedating him, but then she tucked her medkit away.

"Let's get him to Sickbay. We have so many things we can try before Doctor McCoy finishes his meal."

Spock left the scene as well and quickly retook his position at Kirk's side. The Captain smiled at Spock's unease. The only thing as nerve wracking as McCoy's nurses taking a dislike to you was them taking a liking to you.

"Isn't it nice to have an entire department that's so enthusiastic about their work, Spock?"

A brow raised, but Spock answered a moment later.

"I suppose that is one way of looking at it, Captain."

That got an outright laugh from Kirk that sent many an ensign scurrying for cover.

"Look on the bright side, Spock - so long as Bones is on our side, so are they."