Tiffany sulked in the back seat of her car the rest of the way through the Rocky Mountains. While there were no more episodes of explosive diarrhea, the hot sauce she'd drank continued to burn its way through her body. She felt humiliated, embarrassed and uncomfortable. And it didn't help that she kept being teased about her "boyfriend" Bigfoot. She expected that sort of trash talking from the like of DeGroot and Knute but it really hurt when Crystal, her BFF, joined in with the laughter. It also kind of hurt to realize that that monster, Bigfoot or whatever had been nicer to her, had carried her to the roadside when she was unconscious, something her so-called friends would never do. She was supposed to be the Alpha Male, The Queen Bee, whatever, the head of the pack and the only one who respected her was some dumb animal. She must have slept because the sun was setting in the west when someone shook her awake and said it was her turn to drive.

They made Salt Lake City shortly after nightfall. Got out at a truck plaza to refuel and have a large sit-down supper. She was about to bolt to another table when Knute reached for the inevitable bottle of hot sauce, but Crystal slapped his hand and made him put it back. "She's suffered enough," Luann said, which was unexpected from the little pipsqueak. Mollified, Tiffany sat back down and even started sharing in some of the jokes.

They spent an hour or so wandering through the souvenir shop at the truck stop, marveling at some of the kitsch they found there. Finally they wandered back to their car, topped off the tank and struck out across the desert to Reno. Dawn found them heading into Sacramento, before turning south for the last leg to Yosemite. Gunther had plugged in his computer at the truck stop because it had free wi-fi and found a bunch of backend routes to the national park, all of which would be shorter than the route Luann had planned but as all the routes Gunther had found were state roads or less and they would be traveling in the dark it was agreed that the longer route on Interstate and major state highways was the safer route.

They rolled into Yolanda's Jackelope Inn about midafternoon. The car coasted to a stop just outside the office and after a long beat the four doors are popped open and a shamble of zombies crawled from the car, stretching and grunting, squinting at the intense light from the sun and shambling slowing towards the porch in front of the office.

Yolanda's Jackelope Inn had been built in three different spurts. The center portion of the Inn probably dated back to the thirties, it was a huge log cabin, with shiny, lacquered boles facing out. A veranda ran the length of the inn with rocking chairs spaced along the way. Cabins opened off either side of the office. To the south was a fifties era aluminum and cement block structure while to the north was a glass and steel two story structure from the seventies. The office had a peaked ceiling, knotty pine paneling and a large fieldstone fireplace in the center back wall. There were some vending machines near the entrance. The other milled around there but Luann, clutching the large envelope with her clues from Quill's house in Pittsville, headed straight for the sign-in counter. Tiffany was eyeing a chocolate bar but seeing Luann march across the room, turned and followed her. She wasn't going to let DeGroot steal a march on her!

"I'm sorry but I can't help you kids," the lady behind the countner was saying as Luann drew up, "but we're full up. I would have turned on the 'no vacancy sign if someone-" she turned to glare at a pair of buttocks sticking out of a broom closet n the corner "-would get off their keister and fix it!"

The buttocks straightened up to reveal a skinny man in his eighties. He had a lush, brown head of hair that screamed toupee. He wore bib overalls and a T-shirt under it for a band called The Screaming Pukes. His face had a leathery brown look and so winkled it looked like it had caved in on itself. "Now Agnes I've told you: I can replace lightbulbs, wire in new switches but I do not touch high voltage. You're going to have to call in the neon sign people to get that no vacancy sign fixed!"

"You old coot, you wouldn't know high voltage it if bit you!" The woman snarled back.

"We weren't looking for a room..." Luann began.

"Yes we were!" Tiffany interjected.

"I was wondering if you recognize this man. He stayed here a year ago this month," Luann finished, handing a photo of Quill to the manager.

"Sorry, kid. Do you have any idea how many people I get coming through here every year? I have fifty units and they're booked all the time, usually turning over twice a week, fifty-two weeks a year..."

"Assuming two and a half tenants per booking that comes to 13,000 guests." Gunther said as he opened a candy bar.

The manager looked at Gunther like a scientist eyeing a new spider. "Is he come kind of rainman?" she asked.

"No, Gunther is just good with numbers." Luann explained.

" 'cause he has a kind of Rainman look, if you ask me. How do you feel about K-Mart?"

"They're OK," Gunther shrugged.

"You're supposed to say 'K-Mart sucks,' " the woman explained.

"But I don't..." Gunther began but Luann cut him off. "I was hoping you might remember him. He's Australian. I doubt you get many of those here."

"Sorry. Doesn't help."

"Australian?" The old man was wiping his hands on a dirty towel, stuck it in his hip pocket and picked up the photo of Quill. "Oh, I remember him. Quite the cutie. I thought I had a shot at him. Ran into him at the bar down the road, like maybe three years ago. I was all set to make a move on him when a girl came out of the bathroom and sat down next to him." He sighed wistfully.

"Did she look like this?" Luann asked, pulled out the photo she'd found in Quill house. The photo of a girl from Seattle.

The old man looked at the picture for a second before handing it back to Luann. "Maybe. Maybe not. Truth be told I don't pay attention to the gals much. They all look the same to me. But a cute boy... that I'll remember."

He turned back to the closet, picked up a large, wooden tote filled with tools and called out to the manager, "I'm going to fix the plugged toilet in 27."

She was speaking to someone on the phone, cupped the mouthpiece and hollered back, "I thought I told you to fix the drip in 18!"

"I kind of think a plugged toilet is more important than a leaky faucet."

"Gaa!" she said after hanging up the phone. "If he weren't my own brother I'd fire him. Of course he owns half the lodge so I can't do that either."

Luann was putting the photos back in her envelope. "Could you recommend a place that might have a couple open rooms?" she asked.

"Well, as it happens I happen to have a free room; couple just called to cancel. Something about the wedding not going off. So I've got one room for the next three days if you're interested."

"We really need two, for the boys."

"They can sleep in the car," Tiffany put in.

"Hell, I don't care. As long as you don't trash the place I don't care how many people you have in the room. Only I can't put any cots in there. Constitutes a fire hazard. Interested?"

Luann reached into her wallet for TJ's magic credit card.

][

The room the landlady lead them to was on the smallish size but there were two queen size beds and space on either side of the beds for someone to sleep on the floor. A middle-aged Mexican woman came around a few minutes later with extra blankets and pillows for the boys. It being assumed that they would be the ones sleeping on the floor.

Having stowed her suitcase in the pile in one corner, Luann stretched out on her side of the bed while the others fought over who would get the shower first. It felt good to lie down after sitting in the car for so long. She stretched her arms over her head and pulled on the muscles until she saw Gunther looking at her oddly. Her stretching had pulled her T-shirt up well over her belly. She hastily pulled her T down; mustn't have Gunther getting the wrong idea after that fiasco at the pool.

Bernice joined her on the bed. Luann scooted over to make room for her.

"Gosh, but it's good to lay down," Bernice said, stretching like Luann had a moment before.

"Yeah." she agreed and closed her eyes. Just to rest them. Soon she was thinking about Quill and the frustrating year they had spent together. They had agreed to be "just friends" during most of that year. Man, had that been a bad idea. All year she was aching, literally aching, to make out with the blonde Australian. She wanted to wipe that bland look of contentment off his face and paint a little lust in his eyes.

Then fate looked her way. Quill wanted to write another song and everyone else in the house had to be elsewhere. A whole afternoon with Quill. Alone. In her bedroom. What more could a girl ask for?

She remembered Quill carrying his guitar into the room and placing it on her desk before picking her up in a big hug that ended with a long, smoldering kiss. And as they came up for air, he walked over to her bed and laid her down on it before climbing on top her, covering her face, her neck, her shoulders with kisses. His tongue flickered over the ticklish area just behind her ear until she was red with pleasure. And then his hand slip up her side to cup her breast and gentle squeeze it. His hand slid over her breast, circling it, kneading it until she gasped in an explosion of pleasure.

Wait a minute, Quill had never touched her breasts! Luann's eyes popped open. She took in the darkened room. She must have been sleeping for a while because everyone had quieted down and turned off the lights. Light snoring told her that the others were sleeping as well. Then who was fondling her breast?

Who ever it was had snuggled up close to her. She could feel skin contact along her back and down her legs. Hot puffs of air fanned her neck.

In the moment before she looked at the over-friendly hand she prayed like she'd never prayed before that the hand did not belong to Bernice. this trip has already been weird enough. She didn't want to have to deal with her friend coming out. Maybe - please let it be Gunther. Let it be that he had somehow found his way into her bed while Bernice was away and was now carrying on what she had unwisely started the night before.

Luann slowly looked down to the offending hand. It had stopped squeezing her breast but was still holding on to it possessively. It was too small to be Gunther's hand, though he did have smallish hands. Was it Bernice - Good ol' Bernice - spooning against her, groping her boob? Bernice, her friend who never seemed to have a boyfriend...

Luann looked at the marauding hand again. There was a big freckle on the back of it. She had a freckle on the back of her hand. Luann moved her arm. The hand followed. She drummed her fingers and they rat-a-tatted on her side. It was her hand. Not Bernice's not Gunther's just herself's. She felt a great wave of relief at that, then a hot wave of embarrassment that she had been in effect masturbating in public. She hoped that no one had seen.

With a sigh she rolled on her back, crushing Bernice who was snuggled up against her. Whispered "sorry" Luann hopped off the bed. She found her shoes on the floor, grabbed one of the room keys and slipped out of the room. She made her way downstairs and out onto the porch. She slumped into one of the rockers at the end of the porch.

Luann couldn't imagine that she had been dreaming of Quill Masterson after all the heartache he had caused her. All she wanted to do any more was punch him in the nose for running away.

Well, maybe she was feeling a little frustrated since their make-out session never got off the ground. Maybe that was why she got all freaky with Gunther the night before last. Maybe...

"Hey, you alright?"

Luann looked up to see Bernice standing over her.

"You bolted from the room so fast I thought it was something I'd done," she said as she took the rocker next to Luann's.

"No, I just had a weird dream. it kind of freaked me out."

"Oh."

"You ever dream about Derek?" Luann asked.

"That asshole? Never!" Bernice angrily told her. "He pretended to be in love with me so he could hide his drugs in my locker. I could have been sent to prison!"

"I just wondered because for a while you were in Seventh Heaven, Cloud 9, Area 51... He must have been a petty convincing lover for a while."

"That son of a bitch ruined my life. I can't look at another boy without wondering if he's another Derek."

Luann was surprised to hear profanity coming from her best friend. She have never heard her swear before. She realized that Derek had messed up her friend that she had ever realized.

"I wonder because I was dreaming that I was making out with Quill," Luann said, looking straight ahead, "not that we ever did. It was very confusing. The dream was very intense..."

"Erotic?" Bernice asked.

"Very! I can't understand why I was dreaming about Quill that way when all I want to do anymore is punch him in the nose."

Bernice rocked in silence for a bit. So did Luann. After a moment and without thinking about it, they were moving in sync. "He is pretty hot, you know," Bernice mused. "I could see having an ... intense ... dream about him even if you do want to punch him out. It's like going to the movies and seeming some boy on the screen and he's so hot that all you can do is think about ways to met him even thought you know that he's never give you a second look if you did met him."

"What really gets me mad," Luann suddenly confessed, "is that we made a pledge to be 'just friends for the year and it never worked. I just so wanted to make-out with him, you know, and stuff, and he'd just give me a bland smile and remind me that we were 'just friends. No worries, no trauma. There aren't enough cold showers in the world..." Luann trailed off. "And then the one time we do start to make out his phone goes off!"

"You don't think it was planned, do you?" Bernice asked. "Timing the call to avoid making out with you."

"Why would he do that?"

"Why did he leave town that day?"

"You think he was gay and using me as his beard?" Luann wondered.

"Who knows. Look, forget Quill, are you going to tell me about the other night or what?"

"There's nothing to tell."

"Don't give me that. You, Tiffany and Crystal all snuck out of bed and you won't talk about what you did. The next morning Crystal's not talking to Knute, Gunther can't stop blushing and was avoiding every one in sight. So don't tell me nothing happened."

"But nothing did happen," Luann insisted. "I left for a walk because I was keeping you up. I don't know anything about what Tiffany or Crystal were doing. Well, no, I meet Crystal and Knute later so I know what they were up to. But I had no idea Tiffany was even out of the room until you told me."

"But something happened - what?"

"Well, I may have tried to get Gunther to go skinny-dipping with me..."

"You went skinny-dipping with Gunther? Why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't actually go ... wait, you wanted to go skinny-dipping? But you're the girl who never likes how she looks in a bikini!" Luann sent a confused look at her friend.

"But I wouldn't be wearing a bikini..."

Luann paused in mid-thought, trying to understand how that made any difference.

"I don't know if I would have gone but I would have liked being asked. I'm so tired of being locked in my shell all the time. I'm tired of being the safe, reliable Bernice. I'm tired of never being the one to do something interesting. I can see my future already, in fifty years I'll be a dried up old spinster like Miss Phelps offering clueless advice to kids who won't respect me. Before that happens I'd like to just do one really wicked thing so I can look back and think: 'I did that!'"

"You think you're going to be like Miss Phelps? That's a fate worse than death! You've got to do something about it."

"Like what? I want to be more out-going and make new friends but I'm not that kind of person. Talking to people leaves me exhausted. New people. I feel comfortable around you and Delta, even Crystal and Tiffany, not that they talk to me a lot.

Bernice drifted off into meditation. The quiet made Kuann nervous. "I'll make a point of calling you," she said, "the next time I decide to do something stupid - I mean wicked. But in my experience pretty much every wild thing I've ever done has blown up in my face. I'm not sure deliberately setting out to do something ... wicked ... is really a smart move.

"I don't care how much it blows up in my face, I just want to be able to say that just once I could be wild and unpredictable."

They rocked in silence for a bit.

"So did you see Gunther in all his splendor?" Bernice finally asked.

Luann colored. "No. We never got that far along. I was trying to get his pants off when Crystal and Knute walked in."

"You were tearing off Gunther's clothes?"

"He seemed kind of paralyzed at the time."

"He must have thought you were going to rape him."

"Bernice!"

"If you didn't get to see him naked, did he see you ?"

"A little. I had my top off."

"No wonder he was blushing all the next day. I'm surprised he was still breathing after seeing your fabulous ta-tas. Luann, next time ... call me! We'd have had him stripped in no time!"

"Bernice!" Luann protested.

"So what were Knute and Crustal doing?" Bernice wondered.

"I assume they were going skinny-dipping like we were. Knute was wearing only a pair of boxers and Crystal had on those gauzy shortie pajamas she's always wearing."

"And Tiffany?"

"I never saw her." A thought flashed in Luann's brain. "I never wondered why Gunther was out in the swimming pool area, I just assumed he was sketching but with the security lights shining in our eyes there was noting to see but the decks chairs. I wonder if he came out for a rendezvous with Tiffany and when they heard me coming she hid."

"But where?"

"Short of climbing the fence I have no idea."

"Speak of the devil. No, don't look. Gunther has been peeking out the lobby door for the last couple minutes. I think he wants a private word with you. So I'll moozey on back to the room and let him have his turn. Just remember, if he asks for another skinny-dipping session, I want in!"

Bernice stood up, patted Luann on the knee and was gone. Luann closed her eyes and pretended to sleep as footsteps haltingly approached.

"Mind if I sit here?"

Luann wondered how often she had heard those words from Gunther. Pretty much every lunch period for the last three years of high school. That would be a thousand times. No wait she had to subtract for summer vacations. That would be...? She got tangled up in the math, opened her eyes, sighed and said "Sure."

Gunther was dressed on a plaid dress shirt and corduroy pants. He was holding his sketchpad in one hand. The shirt was a muddle of dull greens and brown. She could not remember ever seeing Gunther not in plaid, and never in some brightly colored plaid either. It struck her that if Bernice and Gunther ever got together they'd form a black hole of introversion.

"I - uh - finished your sketch," Gunther said, drawing a folded square of paper from his sketchpad and handing it to her.

"Didn't you need me to sit while you finished it?" she asked

"I worked from memory," he replied.

Luann unfolded the paper and looked at the drawing. The likeness was very good, carefully shaded to bring out a three-dimensional look. Gunther had run out of paper just as he'd reached her waist, which was good because the T-shirt she had been wearing at the time had disappeared. The three large freckles on her breasts were - ack! - accurately placed. Great. Not only did Gunther have an endless crush on her, he now had her naked body memorized.

"I couldn't sleep after we left the pool so I stayed up and finished it."

"Did you finished Tiffany's as well?"

"Yes, but I haven't given it to her y-!" Gunther clapped his hands over his mouth as if trying to seal in what he had just said.

"Drew her naked as well?" Luann went on

Gunther nodded from behind his hands.

"I'd wondered why you were out in the pool area that night. Whose idea was it."

"Mostly hers," Gunther whispered. "She asked if I'd sketch her, then when we got there she was laying on one of the chaise lounges and talking about how this reminded her of her favorite movie, Titanic. And I mentioned that Jack had drawn Rose in the nude. Then I said - " Gunther blushed, which Luann found so rare among boys - "if she really wanted to recreate the moment she'd have to take her clothes off. And she did! Then we heard you coming and she dove into the pool."

"She was in the pool all the time we were talking? How come I didn't see her?"

"She grabbed the straw out of my drink. I think she was breathing through that. - Look, you can't tell Tiffany I told you any of this. She'll kill me if you do."

"Or at least not let you see her naked again!" Luann forced a laugh to show she wasn't serious. "Don't worry. No one's going to say anything about anything. I'd love to tease Tiffany about her midnight rend-dez-vous but them I'd have to admit that I was there, too. Tiffany can't say anything about me, either, for the same reason. You're not going to say anything, obviously. Crystal's not going to say anything because that would mean admitting she has feelings for Knute and she gets teased enough by Tiffany about that already. So as long as we can keep Knute quiet this remains our little secret." Luann didn't feel Gunther needed to know that Bernice had already been let into the secret.

"Knute can't never keep a secret," Gunther moaned.

"I'm counting on Crystal to put the squeeze on him. I don't know what Crystal sees in Knute, but Knute is dating way out of his league. I'm hoping that she has made it very clear that if he wants to stay in her good graces he's got to keep his mouth zipped."

"Anyway," Gunther began after a moments silence. "I - ah - wanted to apologize for flying off the handle the other day. I know you didn't really mean it but it really hurt. You don't know how much I get picked on by the other guys because I like to sew. I don't get it. Some guys like to make cabinets and that's OK but a guy who sews, it's the same skill-set - measuring, cutting, joining - but he's a wuss."

"It was my fault," Luann interrupted. "I shouldn't have said anything about it. And I certainly shouldn't have called it 'gay.' That was wrong. I'm sorry for that."

"And if I were gay...?"

"I'd be shocked - for about ten seconds. Then I'd start looking for a cute guy for you to go out with..." Luann didn't quite believe that but she was sure it was what Gunther wanted to hear. She'd probably be shocked for a day or two and have to re-evaluate everything, but she had liked Gunther for a long time and would continue to like him.

"Oh!" Gunther blanched then rocked vigorously for a couple minutes as if this were competitive rocking. They heard the lobby door bang shut and looked up. Knute was walking out to the car, opened the trunk and took out Crystal's make-up kit. He slammed the trunk down and walked towards them.

"Hey, Luann," Knuted called as he got near them, "I just wanted to says, apropos the other night - 'nice rack!'" He gave her a thumbs up as he walked up the steps to the veranda.

Gunther leaped from his rocker and grabbed Knute by his shirt collar. He pulled him close and hissed in his face, "we do not talk about that night - Ever!"

"Whoa, dude." Knute halted in his tracks and tried to pull away from Gunther. "And you do not call Luann's br-br-br... a rack. You got that! Nothing happened that night! Got it? Nothing!."

"What's got into Gunth?" Knute asked in Luann's direction.

"I think he believes that you can't keep a secret," she said.

"That's just what Crystal said. Man Why is it nobody thinks I can keep a secret?"

"Gunther, let him go," Luann said after a moment. "I think you've made yourself clear. Knute, don't make Gunther have to shout at you again. Ok?"

"Ah ... sure," Knute was, as so often in so many situations, unclear on what he had done wrong, or if he had done something wrong, but was happy to do whatever it took to restore calm among his friends. With an uncertain glance at the pair he went back into the hotel to deliver the make-up kit.

Luann kept an eye on the door for a while, expecting Tiffany or Crystal to pop out looking for an opportunity to talk to her. After a bit Gunther excused himself and went back in, leaving Luann alone with her thoughts. The sun was lowering in the west, cool breezes were starting to blow. A rumble from her stomach reminded her that it was getting on towards supper time. She went back inside to see what the others had in mind.

I owe everyone here a big mea culpa for not posting before this. I'd actually considered abandoning this story since at the time no one seemed to be reading it. I was running out of incidents on the road-trip, but worse I was falling into a funk amd lost my interest in writing. Thinking about the story was easy, writing doown those thought...not so much.

Over time I've come up with a plot for the next chapter or two. This is a transitional chapter. I don't know quite what if anything will happen in Seattle but it all ends up in LA where we learn who and what Quill is.

Of course in the strip Quill has returned from Australia and resumes being Luann's sexless boyfriend. But it's been fun running the characters through events that will neverr happen in the strip.