1975 – End of April

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"Mr. Winchester?" I said knocking on the door, Dean was by my side, but he was nervous like a child

"I'm coming" I heard followed with the sound of John's boots on the wooden floor "Cas, what you are doing here?"

"I came to bring you someone…" I said pointing to Dean, John smiled wide and embraced him, it was really a long time they didn't see each other

"Dean, son… It's so good to see you!" Said John while Dean carried his bag inside, I walked in and closed the door

"Dad, it's good to be back!" Replied Dean sitting on the couch, the house was extremely clean for a change, and I thought something was off "You cleaned?"

"Yeah, my friend Ellen came around, she forced me to clear…"

"Oh, yeah Ellen, where's Bobby?"

"He still on his cars business, at Detroit now"

"That's good… And hun, mum?"

"She still on wonderland, now she believes she found a way to Avalon…" Said John drinking a beer, I watched all like a mere viewer as always, I never was a Winchester, but Dean always saw me as family. "Where are you staying, son?"

"At Cas's place" Replied Dean winking at me, and I understood he didn't want to live with his dad again. All made sense he wanted me to help him, I didn't mind one bit. Dean used to be the friend I could rely on when the bullies tried to beat me up on school. I was kind of happy we would share an apartment.

"Why don't stay here? There's plenty of space!" Replied John suspicious; he was a cunning man despite his drunkenness.

"Cas needs a roommate, he works at night often and isn't good to leave an apartment empty for night or days"

"I see, you are awfully quiet, Castiel" Replied John looking at me, in fact I was just a bit in shock that the war was over

"Oh, yes… I'm just trying to wrap my head around the end of this war" I said looking at Dean's eyes again, I still felt unsure about him, like he was trying too hard not to run away

"Me too, I'm too old… And I've seen a lot of war, almost died twice. I'm glad my sons are safe"

"Well, it was good to see you, dad, but I'm going now… Cas?" Said Dean taking his bag off the floor, John embraced him and said something on his ear, I said goodbye and we left to my apartment.

I turned the engine on and Dean sat by my side, he smiled like a child.

"Sorry about inviting myself to your apartment" Continued Dean while looking through the window, I smiled and nodded while driving "Some days I felt so much pain, I thought I couldn't go on… then I remembered the first time you wrote to me"

"I know, the sun will rise again, I wrote to you…" I said embarrassed, I was reading too much poetry that time, I admit

"Yes, you remember…" Said Dean surprised "That quote gave me strength, Cas… Actually you gave me strength."

"T-thank you" I said, the silence took place on my car, my apartment was close, but those ten minutes felt like an eternity, I knew Dean was gazing at my face the way.

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"Wow" Said Dean dropping his bag on the wood floor, the apartment was quite big; a big white sofa, a television, a kitchen, a bathroom and some paintings in the walls. "You are living big, Cas!"

"Yeah, maybe" I said closing the door "Tomorrow you need to make some copies of the keys"

"Cas?" Whispered Dean, he was way too close to me, and I could feel his breath on my nose

"Dean?" I whispered back in an embarrassed way "Why are you so close to me?"

Dean just kissed me, which shocked me a little; I liked it may I say, his lips were rough and warm… I wish I didn't kiss him back, maybe I would've avoid so many things; like my addiction.

"Dean!?" I said in low tone getting some space between us, I felt lost and a little strange… I've never been kissed by a boy before, and Dean was like family to me, I was totally lost… He must have realized that and he quickly backed away from me with shame on his eyes.

"Cas, I'm sorry… It's was a mistake… Kissing you" Continued Dean looking away, I smiled friendly and touched his shoulder, then he turned with a sad expression; I embraced him and he cried on my shoulder. I never saw Dean crying like this, except the day he broke his arm in the kinder garden when I met him. "Am I disgusting to you Cas?"

"No" I replied holding him tighter "Don't say that…"

"Now that you know what am I, do you want me to leave?" Asked Dean with a fragile voice, his tears had stopped, but not his fear

"No, Dean… I would never leave you"

"But you don't love me do you?" Replied Dean looking into my eyes, I was too confused, I was curious and afraid; I knew that such 'practice' was bad… Or at least it was what my father told me when I went to university.

"I don't know, Dean" I caught myself saying, Dean smiled sincerely, that's why he came to me… I didn't know he liked boys, but I liked Dean… Didn't I?

"You are always sincere, Cas… that is what I like about you" Continued Dean taking his bag to my vacant bedroom, I talked with him how I was in need of a new roommate, but I never thought in sharing an apartment with him. It was a crazy day.

May - 1 /1975

The smell of bacon and eggs woke me up, Dean served breakfast. He was in a really good mood, I sat on the table with my Pajamas on, and it was the beginning of my day off.

"There you go!" Said Dean putting some eggs and bacon on my plate, I smiled and began to eat, he sat in the chair facing me

"I'm sorry about yesterday… about the kiss and all that talk" He continued eating some bacon strips

"I'm ok with that…" I continued smiling "I mean… I just don't know if I like you in that way"

"I thought you felt the same about me…" Continued Dean a little disappointed "So, you didn't feel a thing?"

"Well…" I said trying to remember "I felt something, but I felt strange"

"Strange good or strange bad?" Asked Dean with a big smile

"Dean, you know that even if I felt bad, that's not right…" I continued finishing my plate

"So you felt good?" Said Dean smiling mischievous, I shook my head and laughed

"You don't care about it, do you?" I asked curious, Dean smiled again and kissed me on my lips, this time I felt good; Dean's lips were warm and rigid. I was scared and at same time tempted.

"I don't" He said taking my plate away

"I've never been with a man before…" I said… "I was a little scared, Have you…?"

"Yes" He replied to me confidently, I felt a little jealous… Who was he? I was Dean's oldest friend, but I felt like a stranger now.

"Army?" I asked a little suspicious

"Yeah" He replied embarrassed "Don't ask and don't tell"

"I see" I laughed, for the first time I looked at Dean with other eyes, he was really handsome…

"I've always likes you Cas" Said Dean smiling and embracing me from behind the chair, his hand rested on my chest, his calm breathing on my shoulder, I smiled and closed my eyes "Since that day when I broke my arm, remember?"

"Yes, you were crying like a girl…"

"I was a brat…" He continued laughing "You found me at the feet of a three, and lent me your shoulder… I knew I liked you that day"

"I was playing firefighter that day when I found you" Laughed Castiel kissing Dean's forearm "I was glad I found a friend, my brothers were too old to understand me"

"So I became your brother…" Laughed Dean softly "What are we now? Friends? Lovers?"

"I don't know Dean…" I replied with a bit of fear, I knew I loved Dean in that exactly moment, but how would I go against my father's teachings?

"It's ok, Cas…" Continued Dean smiling "I just want to be with you… Can I stay?"

"Well…" I smiled "I was looking for a roommate…"