1990 – AA Meeting

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"So, what happened that month…? May right?" Asked Meg smiling, I nodded

"Yes, it was May 9th 1975… It rained a lot; Dean had another panic attack that night"

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May 9th 1975 – Night

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"Cas… Cas…" Whispered Dean in my arms, I looked at his scared face and embraced him

"Dean" I replied, he smiled and closed his eyes; the storm outside was strong it flashed with lighting and thunder; and a boom hit the windows.

"I'm sorry" Whispered Dean shaking, he was terrified

"For what?"

"Making you go through this, how can I protect you when I'm afraid of thunder and lightning?"

"You don't have to protect me all the time…" I smiled and another thunder raged stronger than before on the skies "Let me protect you, Dean"

"Thank you, Cas" He whispered, I've never seen Dean like that; so fragile; so afraid, shaking like a little boy.

"Dean, you don't have to be strong because I'm here… I want all of you, even the Dean I see now"

"Do you?" Whispered Dean as the rain became heavy

"Yes" I whispered back wrapping him around a blanket "All of you"

Dean looked at me "I really don't deserve you"

"Yes, you do" I replied embracing him again, we stood there on the couch; listening to the rain striking the windows and the violent winds whistling through the apartment.

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May 10th 1975 – Morning

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Dean woke me with a kiss, it tasted like bacon; I laughed and he made a confused face.

"Good morning, Dean"

"Good morning, Cas" He replied sitting by my feet in the bed "What was so funny?"

"Your lips taste like bacon, did you eat breakfast?"

"Yes" He smiled "I made breakfast for you in the kitchen"

"That's nice…" I said yawning, Dean smiled and kissed my cheek; I could smell his cologne; it got me thinking if he was waiting for something to happen between us or if he was leaving to meet his father "Are you going to see you father?"

"Yes, later…" Said Dean smiling, it made me suspicious of his intentions "I was waiting for you to wake up… You know, morning sex is always good…"

"I see" I said while Dean crawled over me slowly, I lay down and smiled "I need to work, Dean"

"We can do it quickly… Cas" I held his chin above me and smiled "So?"

"Sorry, Dean… Maybe another time" I said kissing his chin

"Cas" He whispered ignoring me; I place my hand on his chest and pushed him aside slowly

"Dean, no" I said smiling, I knew he just wanted me to stay; and if I gave in to Dean I wouldn't go to work.

"Well…" Said Dean kissing me again "I can wait a little longer"

I smiled; Dean was an amazing guy to be with. The night came and when I returned home Dean was sleeping on the couch, I didn't know I was getting so late at home. I stopped and watched him for a while, he had set the table and the dinner was cold; I felt bad for him.

"Dean" I whispered putting my arms around him and resting my head on his chest

"Cas?" He replied drowse "Which time is it?"

"Late, I'm sorry…" I continued closing my eyes "I should have called you to tell you I was gonna be late"

"It's ok, Cas" Said Dean kissing my forehead, his lips were somewhat dry; it made me wonder how long he waited for me.

"You made dinner, let's eat" I said opening my eyes, Dean smiled wide as he sat on the table; the food was cold, but it was good "So, what did you do today?"

"I spent the day with my dad; we fixed our first car…" Said Dean excited, some of mashed potato painted his cheek; I grabbed a napkin and cleaned it up "Thank you… I'm making progress with Balthazar, this therapy thing is working."

"I'm glad, Dean" I said finishing my plate "I confess I never liked to come home, now I have a reason to look forward it"

"Me too" Laughed Dean "I'm so lucky… I think I'm in love with you"

"You fell in love with me because I rescued you that day in the kinder garden?"

"Yeah" Said Dean laughing, I laughed too; I never believed love at first sight. "When did you fall in love with me?"

"I don't know… I never thought you liked me, you were always with Lisa"

"Well, I needed a cover… Lisa always understood me, and my dad always suspected about the crush I have on you"

"Yes, you dad is smart; I wonder if he knows or suspect that we are together"

"Probably no" Said Dean laughing "He asked me if I was going back to Lisa"

"Are you?" I laughed

"Of course not" Replied Dean smiling

"I hope your dad don't find out about us"

"Me too, he wouldn't let me get close to him… Or Sam"

"Do you think so?"

"Yeah, dad is… A difficult person, I think he just don't understand"

"So we aren't gonna tell him, right?"

"Not now, I'll find a way to tell him, Cas"

"You don't have to, if you don't want"

"I want, Cas, I can't keep living a lie"

I smiled, but I was afraid and I worried not for me, but for Dean he was a former war hero, our hero, I knew things would get harder for him than for me. They would always need a doctor in this small town; I could live with their hate, but I couldn't let them hurt Dean, especially now with all this mental health issues. Why things could be simpler?