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Summary: Four years and continents apart. What keeps Yi Jeong and Ga Eul's hope alive are the letters that they write to each other from time to time…

LOVE LETTER

XXIII

"I'm sorry." Ga Eul managed to squeeze out her apology in between bouts of sobbing. Eun Jae patted her arm sympathetically and handed her another tissue. "I should have told you about him…Yi Jeong sunbae a long time ago."

"Why would you have to do that?"

Eun Jae's response surprised Ga Eul. "Because…because you shared your experiences with me and it was dishonest not to have let you know we were talking about the same person. I just wanted to know him more and I was afraid that if you knew, you would feel uncomfortable."

The older woman smiled. "I know a thing or two about how that feels actually. You know, I never told Yi Jeong that his hyung and I are dating. Besides, I had guessed that the friend you mentioned was Yi Jeong. Once you repeated that little saying that I had taught him…"

So that was how she had known. "Eun Jae seon-saeng-nim…"

Taking a sip of water from her mug, Eun Jae wrapped her fingers around it. "I won't deny that I had felt a little uncomfortable and maybe even a little jealous to know that he had started to move on. Yi Jeong was my first love, and given the way you had spoken about him, I'd guessed that the two of you shared some kind of friendship. I knew you were different; that's why I decided to help you as much as I could. Yi Jeong has never been friends with girls; they've only been fun puzzles to solve."

"Puzzles?"

"It's another story for another day. Ask him about it. Besides, knowing Yi Jeong, he probably took his fine time deciding whether or not he wanted to pursue you. He's always been so scared of sharing himself with someone else."

It was comforting to sit here in the tiny pantry with a woman whom she regarded as her teacher in more ways than one. And it helped to know she cared about Yi Jeong and knew him so well. Ga Eul nodded. "It took a year before I was sure of how he felt about me."

"But at least you know now. So I'm assuming the statement his publicist issued is false then."

"Yes," Ga Eul said absently. "I mean, no! I mean, part of it. I'm definitely not pregnant."

Eun Jae giggled and in spite of herself, Ga Eul laughed a little too. "I almost dropped a pot I had been working on when I heard the news at home. The next thing I knew, Il Hyun was calling me and asking me to turn on the television. We decided not to ask the both of you about it; it was a tough situation to be in without additional queries from anyone."

"Yes it was. Ji Hoo sunbae, Woo Bin sunbae and Jun Pyo sunbae helped us out a lot. I owe them all a huge favour. But Yi Jeong is now in trouble because of this."

Eun Jae's brows rose. "Is his father upset?"

"His grandfather. I just saw him this afternoon." The tears started again and Ga Eul blinked furiously, pressing the tissue against her eyes. "He told me that if I cared about Yi Jeong, I would advise him to leave me and agree to the arranged marriage."

"Arranged marriage?" Eun Jae was shocked. She recalled seeing little of Yi Jeong's grandfather but she had not liked him. The man always struck her as being cold and Il Hyun had no affection for him either, although he never spoke badly about his grandfather. He just chose to never speak about him at all. "Tell me what happened."

………………………

Yi Jeong tried not to fidget with his hands, holding them tightly together until he found himself repeatedly twiddling his thumbs and tapping them on the table surface. That had earned him a glare from his mentor and cowed him back into silence.

After that, he found himself tapping his feet. When that happened, he was relegated to incising patterns with strict orders to firstly, keep quiet, and secondly, to compose himself and figure out what he wanted to say. Apparently next to noise when he was working, Nishikado Akira despised long rambling conversations.

When he was finally finished with the last object, an incense burner, Yi Jeong looked up to find his mentor watching him with those faded amber eyes. "Feel calmer?" Akira asked smugly.

"Can I say no?" Yi Jeong half quipped but there was no heart in it. But the former was right; some of his anger had subsided and his thoughts were more focused.

"Not if you want my advice. What's the problem?"

"My grandfather wants me to get married."

"And like the smart girl she is, your girlfriend said no?"

Yi Jeong briefly contemplated throwing the bowls and vases at Akira. "It's not to her; it's to someone else."

Akira frowned. "Someone else?"

His heart felt so heavy just thinking about it. "It's not so much a marriage as it is a merger. Think of it as a business acquisition for my grandfather."

"I see. It's the way the elite maintain their status in society. Wouldn't it just be easier to work hard and smart?"

"I wouldn't do that to my children. She wouldn't even think of it either," Yi Jeong said softly.

"Since you obviously don't want to say 'yes' but are so troubled, I'm assuming your grandfather is not going to let you say 'no' easily either.

Picking up the incising tool, Yi Jeong pressed the cool metal tip against his palm. "He told my father that if I say no, he'll disinherit me and cut me out of the family in terms of finances and the museum. It will be impossible for me to pursue a career as an artist in Korea, or pretty much anywhere else in Asia actually."

"That sounds like your grandfather alright."

"You knew him? I thought you two had never met."

"Just because you didn't read or hear about anything doesn't mean it didn't happen. And no, I'm not telling you any stories. But he's very clever. Even if you didn't care about the family business or money, you still might have trouble being with your girlfriend if you can't even work in Korea."

That thought had occurred to him as well. Even if he wanted to give up everything for Ga Eul, it would be unfair to expect her to give up everything for him. She would have to move, especially if things between them became more serious. Did he want to ask that of her, that she leave her family and friends behind just for him?

"Have you thought about what it is you want?"

Yi Jeong sighed. "I don't want to leave her. But it will mean adjusting to an entirely different way of life, maybe even a different place. There will be so many changes. It might affect us too."

At least Yi Jeong was not naively love struck. Feelings could change, and something as potentially tumultuous as this, something that would cause that much upheaval would test their relationship. "Alright, let's say you agree to your grandfather's demands and marry this other girl. What will you do?"

"Take over the museum. Continue my career in producing pottery." Sleep with every woman that reminded him even vaguely of Ga Eul. Produce an heir and then see to it that his wife lived a life of material comforts to make up for the love he would refuse to give her. Perfect. He would become his father.

Akira wondered what thoughts were running through his student's head because the latter looked positively miserable. "Compare that to giving up everything for your girlfriend only to have the both of you go your separate ways."

If he and Ga Eul turned out not to be soulmates in the end… Yi Jeong felt like saying that was impossible, that as long as they worked at it, they would remain together. He would pursue her until she agreed to never leave him.

"What were you thinking about?"

"What?"

"Your last few thoughts. Quickly, I don't have all day to listen to you."

"It's not possible. We will work out. I'm not going to let her leave me."

"Interesting. So your concern is that she will leave you, not that you regret giving up the family fortune for her."

Before Yi Jeong could respond to that, Akira shot him another question. "Why didn't you give up pottery after your hand was injured?"

Because Ga Eul wouldn't let him. She had made him face a past failure, she had forced him to experience the bitter regret of loss. Once he knew how terrible it was to lose something because he had not fought for it, he had become determined never to feel that way again.

"She made me realise that I couldn't. I would regret it forever if I threw away my abilities, regardless of whether the injury had reduced my talent."

"And how did you feel when you thought you could never mould clay properly again?"

Life had lost its meaning. He had spent his days in a nightly haze of womanising and boozing.

"And now my last question. Which is more important to you, your art or your girlfriend?"

Of course it would be Ga Eul yang. "What kind of a question is that?"

Akira rolled his eyes, making it clear that he thought Yi Jeong was an idiot. "I know very little about the relationship you share with your girlfriend, so I cannot comment on that. What I do know is your relationship with your art. You can't breathe without it. You wouldn't allow me a moment's peace until I agreed to mentor you. This is the one great love in your life and I think I am right to say you cannot do without this. So I'm asking you, do you feel that way about her?"

Akira couldn't have used a more appropriate metaphor for his art. It was air, he needed it to exist purposefully. The only way he could go on without it was because of Ga Eul. Because she was his air too, more so than pottery.

"Well, you can sort your thoughts on the way out. I have some vessels to fire up now and I don't want you here disturbing me. Neither do I want to hear your confessions of love for her, spare me," he warned.

"I was about to say thank you," Yi Jeong said quietly as he got up.

"No need for that. Just make sure that you practice hard at producing top quality Celadon. If you don't, you can forget about leaving Sweden after next year."

Akira waited until he heard Yi Jeong push the door open before he spoke again. "Your grandfather is not asking that you give up only your girlfriend. I hope you understand what I mean."

For a long moment, Yi Jeong stared at his mentor, who was busy picking up various bowls and vases, and examining them carefully, deliberately refusing to look at his student. "I do. Thank you." And then he left, his heart still heavy but his mind clear. He had an answer for his father.

……………………

For the longest time, the two women sat together in silence.

"What do you want to do?" Eun Jae finally asked.

"I'm not sure. Yi Jeong is the one in trouble. His whole existence, all that he has ever known will be taken away if he does not agree to this marriage." She didn't know if she could bear the weight of that responsibility. And what if he gave it all up only to realise that he had made the wrong choice? What if the pressures of living like an ordinary person were too much for him? Ga Eul believed in soulmates but she also realised that love was subject to so many outside factors. It wasn't enough to just love each other sometimes.

"I didn't mean what you think you have to do for Yi Jeong. I'm asking what you want to do, for yourself."

Ga Eul stared at the cup. "I don't want to leave him. I'm selfish," she whispered, "but I cannot give him up willingly."

"Then don't."

"What?"

"Whether he wants to make the marriage or not, that is his decision. You cannot decide what will be better for him."

She'd never thought of it that way. "Is it really that simple?" All she had to know was what she wanted to do; the rest would depend on him.

Eun Jae reached over and squeezed Ga Eul's hand. "What is simple is not always easy. Right now, all you can do is wait and see what he says. And that is not easy. But you have to know clearly what it is that you want, now that such a situation is at hand."

Ga Eul wondered if she would blame Yi Jeong if he chose his family, career and status over her. Perhaps she would, however reasonable or unreasonable it might be. Perhaps the worst part would be the fact that she would still love him even if he gave her up. And if he chose to be with her, it might mean that she would have to give up everything for him. If he could not work here, he would have to live overseas. She would have to follow him eventually if they remained together. She'd never even been overseas on a holiday, apart from the ones that F4 dragged Jan Di and her on.

"I'm not sure…" Ga Eul murmured. Unconsciously, her hand went to the ring which hung on its chain beneath her blouse.

"Of course you cannot make up your mind just like that. Careful thought and time is needed. Go home and get some rest. If you need to talk, come by anytime."

The concern on Eun Jae's face touched Ga Eul. Although Jan Di would always be her best friend, Eun Jae was the wise older sister she had never had. "Thank you. And I'm sorry I interrupted your class."

"It doesn't matter, this is more important. I would like to tell Il Hyun about this though. He deserves to know and he won't interfere. More than you or I, he understands the messy politics in his family."

Eun Jae saw her to the door and Ga Eul was about to leave when she stopped. "I just remembered. Yi Jeong does know that you and his hyung are dating."

Eun Jae looked so surprised that Ga Eul wondered if she had done the right thing by revealing that detail. "He saw the two of you. That's what he said in his letter anyway."

So much for all those hours of planning and making contingency plans on top of that just in case Yi Jeong became upset. "It's just as well. At least now I can tell Il Hyun to stop stressing over this." Smiling, she tugged on the chain around her neck and pulled it out to reveal a simple but beautiful ring. A single diamond adorned the white band and Ga Eul knew it was a wedding ring. "Don't tell Yi Jeong, okay? We'll break the news to him and our families once things are more settled."

Ga Eul had just hugged Eun Jae and offered her congratulations when her phone started ringing. The colour fled from her face when she saw the number.

It was Yi Jeong.