Sorry for the long wait guys but here it is! The decision that will decided everything! Hope you like it.
Merlin remembered when he was eleven and his step dad taught him how to build a fire. It was one of the rare moments that he didn't hurt or insult his son but it ended when Merlin made a stupid comment about magic and his father grabbed his body and held it in the fire. He remembered feeling pain and fear but he mostly felt disappointment. It had been his fault and he was disappointed at himself and that was exactly what he was feeling now as his friends (ex-friends?) grabbed his arms in a steel grip and dragged his sagging body towards Arthur. The man's face held no emotion so Merlin couldn't even begin to imagine what he was thinking. Or feeling. When they reached Arthur's feet Percival and Leon dragged him upright, forcing him to stand before his king. Time seemed to slow as Merlin watched, his breath escaping in short, painful pants, as Arthur drew his sword from its scabbard. He turned it in his hand, resting the tip on Merlin's Adam apple. "Merlin, my manservant, you have been found guilty of the crime of using Magic and as a consequence, your life is punishment. Is there anything you wish to say to me before you are put to death?" Arthur's voice was cold, clear, just like the soldier he was. Merlin sighed, tears slowly crawling down his cheeks. "Always for you sire. Anything for you." His voice was no more than a whisper.
Merlin's mind flickered to his alter ego, Raven. He had protected Camelot to the best of his ability and felt no regrets bar not telling Arthur of his magic. If only his step father could have seen him, protecting people. Being strong; being useful. The cries of happiness from people he had saved always put a smile on his face. Now, there would be no protector, no cries of joy from citizens saved in the nick of time. Months ago, he held the sword. Now it had turned on its wielder in a cold twist of tension and betrayal. The sword dug deeper and he couldn't stop the wince. His eyes rose up, watching in sick fascination as the sword swung down,
Down,
Down,
Down,
Stop. What? There! The sword had stopped at the base of his neck, teasing it with a slight amount of pressure. "You would let me kill you, knowing what you are, what you could do?" Arthur's confused voice broke through his thoughts, pulling him back into the real world. The dangerous world. "Why would I stop you? If I did, I wouldn't get very far. I can barely stand, let alone run. No. It would be much better cause you less worry." Knowing that his words were heavily slurred, Merlin bowed his head in a submissive pose, proving to Arthur his words were nothing but the truth. That's why he was surprised that, when his knees buckled, Arthur caught him. When he sunk to the floor, gasping and crying at the sheer agony that overtook him, he couldn't understand why Arthur held onto him, shouting at him to calm down, to hold on. It was completely strange when the knights rushed around, grabbing supplies to help him. Because, why would they? He was a sorcerer, he deserved to die. To be perished from the earth. Wait. No. It couldn't be.. For the first time in years, Merlin felt it. That feeling that had been crushed and beaten by his step-father all them years ago. He understood now, why they helped him, why they didn't hate him for having magic. He wasn't a disgusting sorcerer like he had believed himself to be. He was Raven, the protector of Camelot. He was Emrys, the prophesied warlock that would help bring Magic back. He was Merlin, servant to Arthur and friend to all and finally he had found what had been stolen from him. It brought a tear to his eyes as he thought about it and, as the darkness overtook him, it was the last thing his mind told him.
He had found love.