Happy New Year :)
Emily's weekend was filled with finding boxes and packing up a few of her belongings. It was a big project to pick up her entire life and move three hours away especially when she was doing it alone.
Jason had come over Saturday afternoon to help her pack but they got a little distracted and didn't get much packing done but Emily certainly wasn't complaining.
On Sunday she called her mother and although Elizabeth had been happy Emily was moving she was a little disappointed that it wasn't to Rome. Emily had to bite her tongue when her mother said that because there was no chance in hell she would move to Rome again. Johnny was probably still there and she couldn't risk seeing him at the grocery store or something. That would be the worst.
Emily dreaded going to work the next day. She hadn't seen JJ in three days and she didn't know what had happened when she went to see her lawyer.
The chances of things improving at work were slim but for some reason Emily was still hopeful. She hoped and prayed that it would be easier to work with JJ and the rest of the team. Probably because she still wasn't completely sold on moving.
Emily got a shower and picked out an outfit for the next day before trying to relax in her bed. After almost two hours Emily finally fell asleep.
She woke up well rested and went through her morning routine without a hitch. She felt like her heart was beating out of her chest on the drive to work and wanted nothing more than for the elevator to break down on the way up to the office, even if that was one of her biggest fears.
She walked to her desk and was actually there on time for the first time in a week, something that didn't go unnoticed by Morgan.
"Well look who decided to show up on time. Good morning Prentiss." He said when she approached her desk.
"Good morning." Emily replied. "I actually woke up to my alarm this morning." She lied.
"So miracles are real?" Morgan mocked.
"I guess so." Emily said with a laugh.
The morning was quiet. Paperwork from the last case had been finished already so Morgan, Prentiss and Reid were sitting around chatting away.
"I think that the UNSUB's problem was that he didn't read enough." Spencer concluded.
"What does reading have anything to do with strangling people and cutting off their ear?" Morgan asked.
"Nothing directly." Reid admitted before going on a long speech about how if the UNSUB had read books on history, art, and facts it would have expanded the reasoning section of his brain and etcetera, etcetera. Emily and Morgan stopped listening halfway through the speech not that Reid minded as he kept rambling on.
"Don't you need to breathe?" Morgan asked as Reid talked a mile a minute.
"Actually the average human being only needs around 1-" Reid began before Emily interrupted him.
"I'm getting kind of hungry, anyone else?"
"I am." Morgan answered quickly getting up from his seat.
"Ok lets go grab some lunch before we both starve because we wouldn't want that." The two agents walked towards the elevator leaving Reid alone to get lost in his complicated mind.
After lunch Rossi joined their chat at their desks. Emily saw JJ go in and out of Hotch's office all afternoon and even though she did that all the time it made Emily feel paranoid.
Every time JJ walked in his office she felt like JJ was telling him another detail about the affair.
Sooner than later the end of the day came. JJ told the three agents that she had taken the next day off when Emily had conveniently gone to the bathroom.
"I wonder why she's taking so many days off." Morgan thought out loud.
Emily shrugged her shoulders. "She probably just needs a break."
The men nodded in agreement even though they all knew that wasn't the real reason. Emily hated that. She hated that everyone on the team knew about her affair with Will. It was no longer a secret and it was no longer possible to pretend like it never happened or to come up with lame excuses to explain her or JJ's behavior.
This was hell. And if it wasn't hell than Emily wanted to go to hell because it would probably be better than her life at the moment.
Emily looked at the time and pretended like she had plans she had to get to. She turned off her computer and grabbed her things before bidding her friends goodbye.
"I would not want to be her." Rossi said as Emily walked through the glass doors.
"You couldn't pay me." Morgan agreed.
When Emily got home she cooked herself supper and watched two movies before heading to bed. When she arrived at work the next morning JJ wasn't there. Emily wondered where she was and what she was doing. Not to be nosey but to calm her paranoia.
Very little activity happened at the BAU which was fine with everyone. JJ on the other hand had a lot more activity going on.
She was currently waiting at a coffee shop for Will. She had called him the night before and asked if he would meet her so they could talk about stuff. He agreed and now he was about five minutes away. JJ was sipping her coffee anxiously while she waited. She hadn't seen Will for almost a month.
When he walked through the door her heartbeat sped up. He didn't smile and he wasn't as happy as she remembered. He had stubble on his face, which was a little aggravating because when they were together JJ had begged him to grow some stubble but he refused.
"Hey JJ." He said as he approached.
"Hey." JJ replied awkwardly.
A silence fell between them. JJ knew she had a lot to say to him and a lot to talk about but for some reason she couldn't think of anything to say in that moment.
"Let me go get some coffee while we collect our thoughts." Will said before leaving the table.
When he returned a few minutes later JJ had decided to go where the conversation took them.
"So how's Henry?" She asked awkwardly.
"He's good. Busy." Will replied with a smile. "I didn't realize what a handful he was."
JJ gave a small smile before asking. "So how is this going to work with Henry?"
"I don't know." Will admitted. "This wasn't anything I planned so I have no idea how it works."
"You had to know this was going to happen Will." JJ said.
"The plan was for it not to happen." Will said with a small laugh.
"But Emily? Really? She's my best friend, Will." JJ explained. "You couldn't have gotten any closer to me if you tried."
"I know." Will sighed. "And I tried to stay away from her but it was difficult and then when you told me to go over to place I thought that it was a recipe for disaster but you insisted."
JJ didn't say anything because she knew he was right. She had pushed him to go to Emily's when he hadn't wanted to.
"And that's where it started?" JJ asked quietly even though she already knew the answer. She needed to hear it from him.
"Yeah." Will answered just as quietly.
JJ finished the last of her coffee. "Well we can't change the past. It happened and although I don't forgive you I know I can't change it so I think we should try and work through this."
Will nodded before asking. "Did you send the divorce papers away yet?"
JJ nodded and replied. "They should get back to my lawyer soon with a court date."
"Listen Jay," Will said quietly. "I never wanted this to happen and I feel insanely embarrassed. If I could go back I would."
JJ just nodded. What was she supposed to say? She wasn't about to leap back into his arms after he cheated on her with four other women. She was going to leave him no matter if it tore her family apart because if she didn't she would never be able to look at herself again. If she did go back with him she would become one of those women who crawl back to their cheating, lying or abusive husbands. And she was no about to become one of those pathetic women.
"So I guess we will leave it up to the courts then?" JJ asked.
"I guess so." Will agreed. "I'm glad we can at least still talk."
"Me too." JJ replied.
With that they said a round of awkward goodbyes before they went there separate ways. JJ went to the grocery store and kept herself busy for the rest of the day.
It was almost the end of the day for the agents at the BAU. Emily asked for another day off so she could pack and Hotch agreed. Unlike JJ Emily didn't tell anyone else she wasn't going to be at work the next day, Wednesday.
They all said there goodbyes and Emily left the office. Before going home she went about trying to find more boxes. When she was satisfied with the amount she went home. She organized the boxes and set up a game plan for tomorrow. First she would pack up the spare room and then her closet. Then she would start the living room and kitchen and then finally her bedroom. It was a lot for her to do on her own but she was used to packing from her childhood so she was hopeful she would get it done.
She made herself a small supper and went to bed early in order to have enough energy for the next day.
The next day when the team arrived at the BAU Emily wasn't there. No one seen her and no one heard from her. When Hotch came out of his office Reid spoke up.
"Where's Emily?" He asked.
"She took the day off." Hotch said. "For personal reasons." He added before disappearing into Rossi's office.
"Personal reasons?" Morgan said with confusion in his voice. "Prentiss doesn't take personal days, right Reid?"
"In 2003 Emily took 3 personal days because her father died. None since then." He replied.
"Something's up. I'll be right back pretty boy." Morgan said as he got up and walked towards the glass doors.
This wasn't what Emily did, ever. She was always at work no matter what. She came to work once with walking pneumonia and tried to pass it off like it was nothing more than a tickle in her throat.
There had to be something else going on. Morgan suspected that Hotch knew what was up but he also knew that Hotch wouldn't tell him. But he knew who would. He walked through small halls and down a few flights of stairs until he reached Garcia's office. "Hey baby girl." He said with a smile.
"Hey gorgeous! What do I owe the pleasure?" Garcia replied with a smile that matched his.
"No one has heard from Prentiss since yesterday and I want to make sure she's ok."
"How cute." Garcia gushed. "But I just got off the phone with her."
"Is she ok?" Morgan lite up slightly.
"She's fine." Garcia hesitated.
"What are you not telling me?" Morgan asked when Garcia wouldn't look at him.
"She's leaving Derek." Garcia said looking up at him and letting him look into her sorrow filled eyes.
"What do you mean?" Morgan asked while panic crept into his voice.
"She bought a house. She's leaving us."
"How do you know all this?" Morgan asked.
"I was snooping around because I was worried about her and I saw she bought a house out of town so I called her and she told me she was leaving the BAU." Garcia said quickly while trying to keep it together.
"I can't believe this." Morgan said in disbelief as he sat down.
"Well can you blame her?" Garcia asked trying to defend her friend.
"Yeah I can." Morgan stated. "This is not Emily. I don't care if the person you were talking to on the phone leaves, I care if my partner leaves."
"It's the same person Derek." Garcia tried to explain.
"No it's not!" Derek exclaimed. "The Emily I know doesn't run away from her problems. Because she's strong and can take what she brings on herself."
Garcia sighed. She could understand where he was coming from but there was something he didn't understand. "You can only fight for so long. Eventually you have to become strong enough to know when you've had enough." Derek sighed. He was struggling and it was completely understandable. "I need a minute to figure things out." He paused and then continued "I'm going to stop her." He said as he got up.
Garcia caught his arm. "I know you're upset but you can't just leave work." Garcia pulled on his arm and he sat down again. "Wait until the end of the day when your head is a little clearer and then make your decision."
Derek nodded because that's all he could do. He would get in a lot of trouble if he left work randomly. He hadn't realized that until Garcia had mentioned it.
"You're right Mama. There's just a lot going on right now." Morgan said finally. "Thanks baby girl, I think I should get back to work."
"Bye sweets." Garcia said as Morgan left her office. With all this therapy work she was putting in she deserved a raise.
When Morgan returned to his desk little had changed. He managed to find something to keep him kind of busy throughout the day. It didn't help his wandering mind though. Hour after hour passed but he didn't change his decision. He was going to try and stop Emily.
Towards the end of the day Garcia came threw the glass doors. "So have you thought about what you're going to do?" She asked when she was next to his desk.
"Yeah I'm going over to Emily's after work." He replied.
"Are you sure?" Garcia asked and when he nodded she sighed. "Derek, I just don't think you should."
"Penelope I lost her once before, remember? We all did. I'm not about to stand by and lose her again." Derek sighed and spoke with a much smaller voice. "I didn't have much of a chance to save her the first time, now I do. You can bet until you're blue in the face that I'm going to try just as hard tonight as I did back then."
Garcia watched him go through what seemed like all the stages of grief right in front of her.
"She's my partner and my friend. I can't just let her go without her knowing that at least I want her to stay. I probably can't change her mind but I can tell her that even if JJ is having a hissy fit there are other people on the team that still care about her."
Garcia nodded. "Good luck." She said simply while he finished packing his bag. She knew he was right. She and Morgan at least still cared about Emily and she was sure Rossi and Reid and maybe even Hotch did too.
Morgan went to the parking garage and got in his car. He quickly drove out of there and was immediately en route to Emily's apartment. His mind was filled with things he wanted to say and things he needed to say and etc.
When he got to her apartment building he parked his car and walked into the building. He went past the elevators and went up the stairs instead. He still didn't know for sure what he was going to say and the few minutes it took to climb the stairs calmed him down and let him plan a little more.
He paced in front of her door for a minute. He knew it was hers without looking at the number. He had been over to her place many times before for dinner and movies and things of that nature. But this was different. Even though he knew she wasn't dying or anything drastic like that he still felt like he had to fight as though she was. After what seemed like an hour but in reality was only a minute he raised his hand and knocked on the door.
"Hey Morgan, what are you doing here?" Emily asked when she opened the door only slightly.
"I came to help you pack." He blurted out before he had the chance to process it.
Emily's mouth opened but nothing came out so she stepped aside to let him in. When he took off his coat and gloves she asked. "How did you know I was moving? I barely told anyone."
"Well the one you did tell is a worry wart and she blabbed on you." Morgan replied. No further explanation was necessary to figure out it had been Garcia.
"I wasn't going to tell her, or anyone, but when she called this morning she was really upset." Emily explained.
Morgan nodded and followed her further into her apartment. He looked at her for the first time since he arrived. She had her hair up in a messy bun and had shorts and a tank top on despite it being mid-November. He looked around her living room and kitchen and saw that she was about half done in those rooms at least.
"Long day?" He asked.
"Yeah, I thought I would almost be done by now but I guess not." She sighed.
"Well you're lucky I came along then." Morgan stated.
Emily laughed. "Luck? Is that what you'd call it?"
Morgan playfully pushed her shoulder. "Come on we have a lot of work to do."
Emily groaned but then laughed again. "Don't remind me."
The two packed for hours and drank beer while they worked. They took a break for supper and the two decided to order a pizza. While they waited they sat on the couch surrounded by boxes. Morgan watched Emily who was sitting on the other end of the couch and lost in her thoughts.
"What's gong on in that head of yours princess?" He asked after a minute.
"Oh nothing." Emily said casually as she snapped back to reality. "Just like a million things."
"Lay some on me." Morgan offered.
Emily glanced at him and thought about if she should open up or hide away. Morgan was someone she had grown to trust over the years so she felt safe opening up to him. Although she wouldn't just blurt out that Will had raped her she wouldn't stop the conversation if it went in that direction.
"I just need to get out of her." Emily said quietly.
"Understandable." Morgan agreed.
"I need to start new and learn how to control myself. I'm a grown ass women not a teenager anymore."
"To be fair Em, I don't think you're the only one to blame. There are two people involved and lots affected, it's not all your fault." Morgan tried to offer.
"Could you shout that from a rooftop or something because everyone else seems to think I'm the only one to blame." Emily stated before taking a gulp of beer.
"No they don't." Morgan disagreed. "Listen, emotions are just running high right now. When the team went out to dinner without you JJ opened up to us. She cried in public and was heartbroken. It was difficult to see and it was easy to blame you. Now that things have calmed down I think everyone understands that you're not the only one to blame."
"I just can't believe you. It doesn't take a genius to see that the team is strained. I can't stay." Emily said without looking at him.
Before Morgan could say anything else the doorbell rang and Emily got up to get the pizza. She paid the guy and placed the pizza on the coffee table.
The two ate in silence and Morgan could tell Emily was lost in her head again. There was still something she wasn't saying.
"What else is there to this?" He asked.
"What do you mean?" Emily said, acting dumb.
"You know what I mean. I can't help you if you don't tell me the truth."
"I am telling you the truth." She insisted.
"Emily what else happened to make you want to start all over? I understand about the affair but your reaction to it is a little drastic for you." Morgan insisted.
Emily sighed and put her face in her hands. "I can't tell you." She said in a small voice that Morgan had to strain to hear.
"Yes you can Emily." Morgan said gently. "You can trust me, I thought you knew that. I just want to help you. That's why I came down here to help you pack. I don't want you to leave, I'm probably the last person that wants you to leave. I came because I care about you. I'm hear and ready to listen, if you're willing to talk."
Emily took a few minutes to digest what he had said. He truly cared about her. It was probably tearing him apart that she was moving yet he had spent hours helping her pack without complaining.
"You're right, there is more." Emily started while Morgan stayed silent. "Will took advantage of me."
"How did he take advantage of you Em?" Morgan asked gently, internally bracing himself for the worst.
Emily took a deep breath. It was one thing to admit to a stranger that she had been raped but it was another to admit it to one of closest friends. But she knew it was time. So she took another deep breath and said. "He raped me."
Morgan looked at her in shock. "He what?" He asked in disbelief.
"You heard me." Emily said, not wanting to repeat it.
"I can't believe he did that." Morgan continued. He didn't know Will very well but the few times they had worked together or had been out with JJ he did not seem like he was capable of rape. "Are you ok?"
"I am now." Emily said, more to convince herself. "I don't know why I just didn't punch him out or something. I just stood there are let him do whatever he wanted."
Morgan knew first hand how strong she was. They worked out together and a few times she had even managed to pin him. So yes she would have been strong enough to take Will.
"Em, you haven't started blaming yourself, have you?" Morgan asked. "You know just as well as I do what happens after a victim gets raped. Not that you're a victim." He added quickly.
"You're right." Emily sighed. "I guess it just easy to blame me along with everyone else."
"Do you mind me asking what happened?" Morgan said slowly.
"Well he came over for… I don't really remember but it was probably sex and I said I wanted to eat something first. When we went in the kitchen he saw the flowers that Jason had bought me and he basically got mad at me for going on a date."
"Then what happened?" Morgan continued.
"I threatened to tell JJ about the affair and he just kind of blew up. He got in my face and somehow got turned on and then he told me that I was going to help him with it."
Emily put her face in her hands. This was the first time she was saying out loud what had happened in this detail. It was also the first time she felt like she was reliving it.
"And then he raped you?" Morgan asked and Emily nodded. "In your kitchen?" He guessed and Emily nodded once again.
Morgan didn't say anything for a while. But when Emily finally looked up at him she could tell he was boiling over with anger, even though he looked calm.
"Morgan calm down." Emily said gently.
"Calm down?" Morgan said with a spiteful laugh. "Like hell I will. I want to rip his head off."
"Derek I'm fine." She said trying to reassure him now. "This isn't the first time this has happened to me but it will be the last."
Emily cringed when she said that, she had a feeling she had just opened a can full of worms.
Before Morgan could confirm what she had said Emily blurted out. "We should probably start packing again. I have to be out of here by Wednesday afternoon." Morgan nodded and got up with Emily. They worked in separate rooms, Emily in the living room and Morgan in Emily's room. He found quite a few interesting things in a box at the back of her closet that he would have teased her about but it didn't seem like a good thing to do now.
They finished up the majority of the packing by 10:00pm and Emily assured Morgan that she could finish it up by herself. She told him to leave since he had been there for almost six hours and after a little back and forth he agreed.
"Thanks for the help Derek." She smiled, but then it disappeared. "Who else knows?"
"Me, Garcia and I'm guessing Hotch." Morgan replied.
"Good. The fewer people that know the better." Emily said with a sigh.
"Who else knows?" Morgan asked.
It took a second for Emily to realize he was talking about the rape. "You." She said quietly. "I don't know if JJ ever found out, last time I checked she didn't."
"Well you're secrets safe with me." Morgan said firmly. "If you ever want to talk call me, text me, show up at my door in the middle of the night I don't care. I'll be there."
"Thanks Morgan. For everything. Thank you for being my friend and my partner." Emily said while Morgan pulled her in for a bear hug. "I love you." She said into his shoulder.
"I love you too princess." He said before pulling away. "Are you still going to leave?"
Emily nodded. "I have to."
"I understand." Morgan replied. "It won't be the same but I'm sure I can handle poking fun at pretty boy by myself."
Emily laughed. "I'm sure you can."
"Bye Emily."
"Bye Derek. I'll be in work tomorrow." She said before watching him walk to the elevator and then returning to her apartment. It didn't even look like her apartment anymore. She spent the rest of the night labeling boxes and packing away small things before exhaustion over took her and she went to bed.
Morgan had mixed feelings on the way home. He had went to her apartment thinking that Emily was weak and thinking that she was running away only to leave knowing she was stronger than she even realized herself. She wasn't running she was moving on.
Realizing that she had had enough and that she needed a change. It made him feel better about her leaving. He still was definitely not a fan of her moving but he was more accepting of it now that he heard her side of the story.
No matter what though he would always be there for her. Because she was Emily and he was Morgan. They were a team. Strong, close and forever there for each other.
There are probably 3-4 chapters left to this story. Thanks for all the support!