Author´s notes: Hello again, so I managed to update my story because today is practically a holiday here in Brazil, FIFA World Cup starts today. I´m excited too, a little mad at how our country´s money was overspent on building new Stadiums instead of just renovate the several we have here already. Not to mention all the money that probably went to the politicians pockets with the over budget of the constructions. It really is revolting because all that money could be used for the health or education system that are in great need, but that´s is not our soccer player´s fault. So I´m still rooting for them! VAI BRASIL! RUMO AO HEXA!

I wish Captain America would just kick the asses of the corrupt politicians in Brazil! unfortunately, not a possibility, so let´s just imagine our great heroes fighting evil somewhere else!

This chapter was inspired on the song I´ll Stand by You by The Pretenders. Here goes nothing...

CHAPTER 11

Singapore´s hospital – Evening

Natasha puts the computer aside, sits in the bed with her legs crossed and stares at Steve. He is lost in thoughts and the expression on his face scares her because she is sure that he is going to start asking questions about her dark past and at this point, she won´t be able to lie to him anymore.

Steve is standing beside the bed, his eyes are not looking at anything in particular since his mind is full of doubts and questions, one is bothering him more than the others, he wants to know if there was some part of Bucky left in the Winter Soldier, so he looks back at Natasha and asks: "How was he back then?"

Natasha is a little surprised with his question; she knows what he is trying to find out so she answers: "He was nothing like the Bucky you knew, Steve. He had no memories of his past. He was made to be an assassin, a brutal and cold one and he was not much different as a trainer, he pushed me to my limits every time."

Steve understands that the training in the Red Room was probably as hard as it can get, but he wants to know if that was all that their life consisted back then, so he insists: "But did you know him only as a trainer?"

That is one of the questions that Natasha was afraid he would ask, she curses in her head and looks away from him as she replies in a lower voice:"We…had a brief relationship outside the academy. We slept together a few times."

Steve is surprised again and looks away as he tries to process all the information in his head. He is trying not to feel betrayed by Natasha, but it still stings him a little that she never mentioned that she knew Bucky that well.

Natasha looks at Steve and notices that he is trying to hide his reaction, but she can see it in his eyes that he feels hurt. So she tries to explain a little better: "But I didn´t have feelings for him, it was a physical thing. We were just two emotionless people back then. All we talked about was who we were going to kill next and…sex." Natasha nervously bits her lips because that didn´t sound good too, so she shakes her head thinking: "Damn it! I´ll just shut up."

Steve looks back at her and sees the broken expression on her face, he realizes how hard it must be for her to tell him all this because he knows that Natasha is not that person anymore, but what about Bucky, could he overcome the sins of his past and be normal again? Natasha is the strongest woman he knows and even she was still struggling with hers. Steve just tries to push those hurtful thoughts away. He looks at her exposed left shoulder and brushes his fingers at her scar where the Winter Soldier shot her: "He tried to kill you…twice. I guess he didn´t have feelings for you too."

Natasha gives him a bittersweet smile; she is a little relieved that he said that instead of being mad or hating her. She holds his hand on her shoulder as she replies: "I´m sorry for not telling you this before, but that part of my life brings me so much painful memories that I…" she can´t find the words to continue and just stare at his blue eyes.

Steve gives a faint smile taking her hand in to his lips and kissing it. Then he says softly: "It´s okay Tasha. I forgive you."

Natasha is stunned, because when Steve says that he forgives her, she feels like he is forgiving her from all her sins, like he could wash them all away, erase everything she had done wrong and she could start all over again, with a clean slate, from the day they first met. She wonders how does he do that.

Steve lets go of her hand and interrupts her thoughts speaking: "Can I ask you just one more thing? I promise this one will be easier to answer."

Natasha would answer anything to him right now, so she simply nods her head.

Steve continues: "Who else knew about your serum besides KGB and Barton?"

Natasha replies: "Only Fury did. But he thought that it would be better if we didn´t tell anyone. He was afraid that the scientists on S.H.I.E.L.D. would want to make experiments on me, and he knew I would run away if they asked to do that. So he changed a thing or two on my file at S.H.I.E.L.D."

Steve says with a questioning expression on his face: "Why would they want to run experiments on you when they could do it on me? My serum is more powerful than yours, you know?" Steve gives her a playful smiles.

Natasha smiles at the naïve soldier: "I know, but you see Steve, they have too much respect for you. You are Captain America for god´s sake! They would never take you as a test subject. But me, I´m a Russian spy with a questionable past."

Steve feels bad for her, but he understands what Natasha means: "Yeah, I guess you have a good point…one last question though. When is your real birthday?"

Natasha expression turns serious as she replies: "I don´t really know. I think I was born in the winter of 1928, but I have no idea to what day or month." And that makes her think of one person who could answer that question. It makes her remember her new-found memory of her mother, of how she killed her before she could even say a word. Her eyes start to fill with unexpected tears.

Steve notices the distress on her face and feels bad for asking so many questions: "Natasha? I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to make you sad. Tell me what is wrong?" He sits beside her on the bed.

Natasha shakes her head and looks down as the tears start to fall from her eyes. The suppressed memories that surfaced after she got injected with a drug by the KGB agents are the worst she could ever have. They always make her lose control of her emotions. The one of when she killed her mother haunts her the most. Natasha is mad for letting her walls down for Steve, for letting they become more than friends, she is only going to drag him down with her. She whispers: "I´m a horrible person Steve, you should stay away from me. I don´t deserve you…"

Steve holds her hand and squeezes it as he says: "Hey, don´t say that. I´m not perfect Natasha, I make mistakes too. Look at me, please?"

She shuts her eyes tight, tears falling on the white sheet. She whispers: "I can´t Steve…the guilt…is slowly killing me."

Steve wants to help her so bad, he is holding her hand tight as he says in a firm tone: "You don´t have to go through this alone, Natasha…let me help you." He put his other hand on her chin and lightly lifts her face so she can look at him. When he meets her tearful green eyes he says softly: "I promise, whatever it is, it won´t change my feelings for you."

Natasha tries to say something but she loses control and start sobbing. Steve put his arms around her shoulder and pull her closer so she can bury her head on his chest. He places a kiss on her red hair and tighten his grip around her as he whisper: "It´s okay, I got you." Then he remembers that the last time he saw her lose control like this, she mentioned her mother, so after a few minutes, when the sobs stops he asks: "Do you want to talk about your mother?"

Natasha backs away from his chest and looks up at his face, blinking a few times as he reaches his hand to her face and wipes her tears away. She is still paralyzed with his gentle touch so when she doesn´t replies, Steve says: "Do you want a glass of water?"

Natasha licks her lips realizing now how much her mouth is dry, so she just nods at him.

Steve gets up and gets a glass of water from the counter near the door of the room. He sits back on the same spot he was before and hands the glass to Natasha, who drinks it all at once. Steve lets her take her time to say something and just watches her patiently as she stares at the empty glass.

After a few minutes of silence, Natasha puts the empty glass on the nightstand and looks at Steve again, speaking: "I had no memories from my parents until some KGB agents found me recently. They captured me and injected me with a drug that helped me remember some suppressed memories I had, the worst one is of when I killed my mother." Natasha pause and takes a deep breath before she tells Steve the story of the cold Russian night when she had mistaken her mother for an American journalist and sliced her throat open.

Steve listens carefully and when she finally finishes, he sees the dread in her eyes. He feels some of the dread inside him too, he holds her hand tight and says: "Oh God! I´m so sorry, Natasha."

Natasha eyes are starting to tear up again, she hates feeling weak and she doesn´t want Steve´s pity. She was manipulated by KGB, yes, but she still didn´t hesitate to follow blindly her orders and coldly kill an innocent woman, so she blinks her tears away and replies harshly: "Don´t be! It´s not your fault, it´s mine! I killed her, not KGB, not you!" She doesn´t want to break down again so she gets up and makes her way to the bathroom.

"Natasha…" Steve says watching her walk away.

Natasha goes to the sink and starts throwing cold water at her face, so that maybe she can snap out of that horrible moment playing over and over in her head. When she looks up at the mirror she sees Steve standing behind her. She dries her face on the towel and he steps closer to embrace Natasha, placing his hands lightly around her belly and kissing her bare shoulder. Natasha put the towel away and leans back against him, resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes. She mutters: "I´m sorry for snapping at you."

Steve rests his chin on her head and simply replies: "It´s okay."

Natasha puts her small hands on the top of his and says: "I don´t think I will be able to sleep tonight."

Steve admires her through the mirror; she looks so beautiful when she is vulnerable, it is like he can see the real woman behind the Black Widow. The woman nobody else knows but him. The woman he loves. He replies softly: "I´ll keep you company. Are you hungry? Maybe I could get us something to eat."

Natasha meets his gaze at the mirror: "Yeah, but I hate the hospital´s food, I´d like to try some local food."

Steve smiles and says: "Okay, I could sneak in some for you"

Natasha turns around to face Steve and says with a half-smile: "See, I´m a bad influence on you, I´m already making Captain America sneak around!"

Steve chuckles and lightly kisses her on the lips.

Hotel in Singapore – 9:30 a.m.

Natasha was released by the doctor early that morning when the results of her exams came out all normal. Steve had stayed with her all night; they even manage to get some sleep.

Now all the Avengers are back at the hotel, sitting in the lounge area of Tony´s suite, discussing Natasha´s finding on HYDRA´s plans. Fury and Hill are on video call with them.

Fury is talking to the team: "There are two major HYDRA drops sites that required immediate attention and now we also have the Winter Soldier issue. So you are going to split up in 3 teams to cover more ground. Stark and Bannon, you are going to the drop site in Japan. Barton and Thor are going to the one in Germany and Rogers and Romanoff are going after the Winter Soldier in Russia."

Steve is worried about their missions being a little overwhelming for only a two member team to handle. He immediately thinks about his friend Sam Wilson, he knows that Sam will gladly help him, especially when the matter involves the Winter Soldier, so he speaks: "Maybe we could call for some reinforcements, I´m sure Sam Wilson would like to join us, sir."

Fury replies looking at the Captain: "Yes Captain, I thought about that too. You can call the Falcon and tell him to meet you and Romanoff in Russia." Fury looks at Maria and continues: "I´m sure Hill would be glad to help too, right?"

Maria was on another screen, she is glad to have some field work to do instead of just being inside an office with tons of paperwork, so she eagerly answers: "Yes, of course. I think I could join Barton and Thor in Germany."

Clint smiles at Maria: "Glad to have you on the team, Hill!"

Thor also replies with a smile: "It will be an honor to fight by our side, Lady Maria."

Maria nods at her teams members.

Tony than speaks up: "In that case, I´ll make a call to my good friend James Rhodes and tell him to suit up and drop by Japan to lend us an iron hand." He nudges Bruce who is sitting next to him.

Bruce grins back at the billionaire saying: "The more, the merrier."

Fury nods at Tony and says: "Very well, you all know what to do. Please try not to get yourselves killed. If anyone asks for me, I´m in D.C.´s cemetery. Good luck."

PS: I know Maria Hill is not exactly a field agent, but I´m guessing they don´t have too many people then can really trust since HYDRA infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. So I decided to put her on the team too. Thanks for reading my story! Next chapter coming soon! Bye!