Muffy is in her late twenties, twice divorced and jealous of her friends happiness that is until she finds comfort in the arms if another divorced young person she never even dreamed of...
The second to last one shot in my collection.
I have edited and ptoof read this four times already.
So if you can do any better please be my guest!
Enjoy it xoxo
A few mentioned pairings and friendships coincide in this fanfic about the train wrecks Muffy Crosswire left the men she married, not to mention her own soiled reputation.
Did she care? Nope.
Muffy was asleep under her large satin covers when her cell phone rang.
"What?" She groaned.
"Hey its me, how are you?" Buster yelled into the phone.
"How do you damn well think?" She hissed.
Her soon to be ex husband was ever so rudely calling the tired heiress at a most atrocious hour.
"Could this not have waited until a sensible hour?" She yawned loudly.
There was a pause over the phone.
"Uh Muffy its ten o clock in the morning" he replied.
Muffy sighed and sat up. "Well what do you want?"
"Well its just..." He went quiet again. "Ladonna has been asking about the divorce papers"
Muffy slammed her head against the pillow.
It was Binky barns all over again.
This time however, Muffy Baxter did not want the marriage to end.
She had the divorce papers signed and ready for Buster to collect. Muffy was too upset and angry to do anything involving Buster today. So she did what she enjoyed the most, by making him wait.
"My lawyers are working on it" she sighed. "You'll have them by next monday"
"Great thanks" he replied.
"Uh hopefully we can still be friends?"
Muffy could not beleive what she was hearing.
"Yes how grand Buster" she hissed.
"We could all go for dinner with Arthur and Francine". " Who YOU so kindly stole from me."
"Oh lets invite Binky and Molly while we're at it."
Her sarcasm was dripping into the phone of which she had hoped her ex understood.
"You cheated on Binky" Buster reminder her.
Muffy rose out of bed. "With you, behind his back you idiot"
"If you remember"."He got over it." She groaned.
"It ruined my friendship for a long time with him, Muffy."
"Uh we seperated five years ago" Muffy coldly replied.
"If you're gonna nit pick then tell someone who gives a damn." She shouted into the phone.
" For three years he was miserable while you and I travelled all over the place" Buster replied.
"Well he wanted to kill YOU Not me.'Muffy harshly reminded him.
"Not to mention Molly Mcfists"
"Well can you blame them?" Buster requestioned. "What we did was wrong, just like..."
"Like what Buster?" Muffy growled. "Our Marriage?"
Three years of fighting ànd making up after a whirlwind romance which seemed more exciting while Muffy was a Barns and not a Baxter, the romantic rendezvous fizzled into mundane marital activities and get togethers with friends.
"Its been four rough year's" Buster sadly replied
"It has" she agreed. Muffy began brushing her hair in the mirror.
"Would it help If I said I was sorry?" She asked.
"Its a little too late for that dont you think?" He solemnly replied.
After counselling, marriage courses and therapy for both of them, nothing seemed to work. One reason Muffy refused to beleive she was ever in the wrong. Her constant nagging whinimg and, pushing Buster to "better himself" was not his idea of love as his wife thought.
"I tried my best to clean your act up" She said.
"That was all Buster"
She then added how much she wanted what she thought best for him.
"Thats why it ended Muffy" he sighed. "How many times have we been over this?"
Muffy felt tears well up in her eyes. "I know and Im sorry"
She then grew angry. How dare he pin this all on her?
"You weren't exactly perfect" she hissed into the phone.
"Muffy I am aware of that" he said.
There was another pause.
"Lets just move on" "I'll see you Monday"
"Fine" she replied angrily. "Midday at the Elwood eastern mall"
Buster knew his ex enjoyed the Gucci store and Docle apparell outlet at that particular shopping complex.
"Yes at the entrance" he replied.
"I have things to do so make it quick" Muffy sniped.
"Fine by me" Buster said.
"Dont bring HER with you" "Or no papers, ill draw it out as long as I can."
"Alright Muffy sheesh" Buster replied.
He knew she was jealous and most annoyed at Busters choice of partner.
"Good". "Well if theres nothing else you require from me...?"
"No Muffy thats all' " See you monday."
"Bye"
"Yeah bye" she snapped...
Chance encounter
The new Shouffer drove an upset Muffy to meet Buster in the city and a few blocks down toward the "Eastern"to hand over her papers.
She knew he would send them off the moment they were in his hot little hands. That southern hick as Muffy referred to Ladonna wanted to be "hitched" and live the simple life with the only man she ever really loved herself.
Muffy sighed and text Francine.
"In need of retail therapy". "The divorce is official, confirmed and done"
"My treat" "please come"
There was a text...
"I would love too Muffy, but I cant" Francine replied.
"Why?" "It not Arthur is it?" Muffy text.
She knew Francines husband took Busters side in this.
They were best friends yet Muffy thought her and Francine were still close enough to meet for some gossip sessions over coffee and clothing of which Muffy would always pay for.
"No its not Arthur" Francine text back." How many times Muffy?"
"Well what is it then?" She text back in frustration.
"Ill tell you what it is" Mrs Read responded.
"I am unable to just drop everything at the last minute to go shopping"
"I wish I could but I have work and family commitments"
"I have a house to run" "Arthur works extremely hard" "You know this"
Muffy rolled her eyes. Great another rant..
"Yeah yeah","spare me your working 9-5 perfect housewife dribble"
Francine did not text back after that OR answer any of Muffys calls..
"Oops perhaps I hit a nerve there" she thought aloud..
"Perhaps you did princess" The driver snared.
Muffy was furious.
With her hands dirmly placed on her hips she yelled at this new snarky chauffer of hers.
"How freaking dare you?"
She started swyping on her phone.
"If I wasn't so traumatised by the train wreck that is my life right now..."
"I would..well Id fire you're ass Mr"
He laughed.
Muffy then gasped and realised she had said too much.
She tossed her hair away from her face and waited for the limousine to pull over.
After what felt like aneternity, Muffy emerged out of the car on her own.
"You" she yelled. "Stay here and wait."
She stepped out draped in Versace and Vera wang attire and slammed the door.
"That way I dont have to see that idiot drivers face" she said aloud.
Ge heard that remark and laughed.
"You've not changed one bit little red head she devil" he snarled to himself.
Buster was sitting in one of the food outlets, despite her choice of venue be the ENTRANCE.
"I knew you'd end up here instead" she cringed.
Buster stuffed himself full of vindaloo and poppadoms while his wife sauntered past him to get a double shot espresso with soy milk.
"Here they are." She said. The divorce papers had been signed and sealed.
She took a seat besidehim and sighed heavily.
"To think" she looked at the white rabbit, wearing the half eaten curry on his shirt.
"You could have been a rich and successful businessman"
Buster continued eating and ignored her repeated hind sights..
"Clean cut, sauve and proper" she sighed again.
When her coffee arrived he handed her his portion of the paper for her to verify which she did, ever so begrudgingly.
"Well there you go Buster Baxter" she said.
Sliding the verified document back to him she looked at him one last time.
Her purple contacts hid her tears.
"Don'expect a dime from me" she sneered.
The same way Bibky had before hand, Buster signed a prenuptial agreement.
"Enjoy your life in a one bedroom apartment, with the dumbest creature from the Mississippi river"
Her tone was harsh but Buster detected hints of severe jealousy from Mrs ex Baxter.
"Shes from Louisiana" he calmly corrected her.
Muffy rolled her eyes.
"Pfft" she scoffed. "Same area, same swamp creatures."
Buster then stood up and gave his almost ex wife one last peck on the cheek.
She recipricated with a kiss on his lips.
"Woah Muffy" Buster held his hands up.
"Im done with you"..
Muffy threatened to start screaming if he did not let that last kiss go .
Buster went to shake her hand but she pulled away.
" Bye Buster" she said quietly.
"See you round Muffy." He waved before turning ariund and walking away.
Muffy was left holding her Styrofoam coffee.
The young woman had everything but her dignity.
Her parents were on the verge of intervention by way of a mental health facility and retreat. This was her last chance.
Muffy stepped back into the limo sobbing.
"I take it that didn't go so well?" The illusive driver questioned.
"What makes you say that?" She sulked sarcastically.
"Oh just the fact that this is your second divorce" he replied.
He then added a tiny droplet of information in.
"Lets say for instance". " That the woman I married left me, for your first husband"
Muffy placed her hand over her mouth.
"Molly was your wife?"
The young man replied that she was much more than that.
"The love of my life" he sneered. "Just like when you married Buster?"
Muffy was starting to fret.
"Uh how do you know all this?" She asked.
He pulled the screen down and revealed himself.
"I was there too Muffy"..." Where you are."
Her eyes widened.
"OMG" she gasped again.
"Slink?"
The shaggy haired bunny nodded.
"The one and only"
Muffy pressed both hands on her face.
"This isn't happening" she cried.
"How on gods green earth, did YOU get hired to work for me?"
He shrugged.
"Your Dad saw potential in my driving abilities" "or something like that."
Muffy huffed.
"Well please do me a favour and take home."
"Sure thing Miss er Ms. "
"CROSSWIRE" She interceded.
On the drive home the red head was busy trying to process everything.
"You know" Slink said. "We are kind of in the same boat."
Mufffy reached into her bag and popped two ativan to calm her nerves.
"How?" She dare ask. "Being divorced is hardly uncommon"
"No but losing the love of your life is relatable" he stopped at a red light
Looking behind him in his rear view mirror he smiled at her.
"Dont you think?"
Muffy held her tounge and looked downward.
"I uh guess" she replied
Buster had torn her heart out but she had pushed him away.
"You were always a bastard at high school" she snarled.
Myffy made sure she shrunk the ex tough customer and wannabe bad boy down to size.
"Funny" he remarked. The green light flashed and off they drove.
"You were always a bitch"
Muffy sighed.
"You forgot spoiled, shallow, self absorbed, pushy ring leader."
Slink was impressed.
"Ive heard it all before." She said
"You are gonna have to do better than that" she folded her arms proudly.
So he took on the challenge and did do better...
Two hours later
Muffy lay in her bed, wearing nothing but a lilac bra from Tiffany's..
She felt a pair of long lanky arms wrap themselves around her midriff.
She closed her eyes and sighed
"Why do I always fall for the worst ones?" She cringed
Slink kissed her and reminded her that what just happened was not a sign of future relationship and matrimony
Muffy breathed a sigh of releif.
"Oh thank God."
Slink laughed.
"Still despise me then?"
Muffy turned over and looked him square in the eye.
"I dont like you at all" she casually responded.
"Wanna go again?" He asked.
She winked at him.
"Sure why not?" …
The end
Muffys tryst with Slink was nothing more than sex between to upset divorcees.
Yet she did have this habit of being tempted by the bad fruit, and taking a large bite out of it.
The guys that her parents shook their heads at disapprovingly. The ones with no potential in her familys eyes.
The no hopers who would tarnish their name and lineage.
Oh Muffy Barns Baxter Crosswire...whatever you are?
Will you ever learn?
End finito xoxo
Muffy is like this already at 8yrs old.
Imagine the carnage when her hormones kick in? Oh and the pheromones?
What do you think? Yes you the reader.
Please review or message me and tell me your thoughts.