(Well i am sorry for the much needed update! I haven't forgotten about this story by any means of the imagination. School, exams and university planning have been getting in the way. Now i have to deal with precal and... yeah... but i'm updating this and my other ghost story tonight so :) I hope you all enjoy! Please, review - i love seeing them. they make me happy :3 sorryabout the late post - wwas watching Marvels Agent Carter XD)

My stomach was killing me. Nothing on earth could compare to it… besides my screaming body. Holy shit… even looking over at Vlad couldn't calm me. I tried my best not to look over at him. I had to be no one - a face in the crowd. From going to the black sheep of the family to having to blend in… it was hard. Much harder than I ever expected.

"How much longer will we be up in the air?" My voice shook as I spoke. I was trying.

"An hour or so, Veta. Then we'll be on the ground from that point." Yuri spoke in a crisp, clear voice.

An hour? Absentmindedly, I looked down. Bad idea – I felt my stomach lurch. Why did I do that? I clenched my eyes shut and breathed in deeply.

"I will die from yearning, inconsolably waiting, I'll pray the whole day long, and at night I'll wonder..." I whispered under my breath. Mom had sung that song to me when I was a child. It always seemed to soothe me. I could feel my body trembling. Damn it Veta, keep it together! If people were around – besides Vlad and Yuri – I'd be in trouble. If I can't even keep it together around them, what was I supposed to do?

I was a Makarov. I needed to start acting like it. Vlad was a cold stone killer. He does it all – kill, traffic…. torture… I needed to harness that. But… how did he do it all? How did he remain so calm and collected? There had to be something to it. I just needed to find my own niche. That man… Shepherd… he was my key. I needed to keep my aim focused on him. If I could simply focus on him… he was the whole reason my family died… he was the reason for everything.

"Unclench…" I glanced over at Vlad, wondering what he was saying. His eyes looked at Yuri then back at me. I had accidentally started to grip Yuri's thigh. It was a stupid reaction and I knew it, but I retracted my grip and stared into his eyes, vacantly. For a moment, I saw a trace of a grin peeking from the corner of his mouth. I was learning.

Shepherd was the key. He controlled me, now. He was my drive. As long as I had that, I could keep up this act. I closed my eyes – I could see the sick, sadistic smile of his face as clear as day. That putrid man would pay. I would go to the end of the earth to find him. Each time I breathed, I saw his face. Each time I exhaled, I imagined it being ripped to shreds. It was… a strange, yet pleasant feeling.

"Sir, we are about to land." My eyes fluttered open.

"Good." Vlad looked over at me and then at Yuri. Wait… had I been doing that for almost an hour…? I… I enjoyed that way too much. I looked out the window – we were still at a good height. Oh hell…I still felt nauseas, but I wouldn't let that stop me. Looking around, I had no idea where I was. It looked like we were in some sort of wooded area. It was beautiful… if it wasn't for the fact that somewhere, in the area, was a group of men plotting, with Vlad to operate the next terrorist plot. As long as I wasn't involved, I didn't care. I'd protect him, yes, hell, I'd help him… but not help him kill innocents. Surprisingly, even after all of this, my morals were still intact. Even if they were being held onto by a string, they were there.

The helicopter hovered about a foot over the ground. First, Yuri exited, then Vlad. As I got up and looked down, I did not want to get out. Even moving just a bit, it hurt like a bitch. Every part of me protested, but I grabbed Yuri's outstretched hand and jumped down. He held my body up as I hit the ground, but it didn't stop the fact that I was still healing. When I was on my two feet, I was trembling. When Yuri let go of my hand, I did my best to not show my pain. There were three men all draped in black uniforms – Vlad's men. Next to them were three ATV's. Around here, that was the best way to get around.

"The 'Saundra' is about five miles east of here." The guard closest to Vlad spoke directly to him, pointing in its general direction. Vlad whispered a few inaudible things to him and then watched him walk back to the vehicles. Vlad and Yuri walked towards one. Yuri started it up as Vlad sat behind him. Smart – Vlad trusted Yuri. His men would die for him… but would they die with him? There were only two ATV's left. Slowly, I walked over to the black one and climbed onto it. This terrain would be killer on my body. As I turned the ATV on and waited for it to idle down, I swallowed back two pills. Hopefully they would kick in soon – otherwise, I might not make it to the 'Saundra'… whatever the hell that was. One of the guards sat behind me and I heard his gun calk. Precaution, of course… but it still made me feel uneasy.

"If you have to use that, you better make sure you use it right." I tried to keep my voice as stable and as vacant as I could. Vlad could strike fear into them – why couldn't I? Even if it didn't work, it was a step in the right direction.

"Yes, child." I turned to see his face, my eyes narrowing.

"My name is Veta. You will address me as such." I was almost tempted to smack him.. but that would let my emotions be known. Subtlety – that was the key.

"My mistake." I turned back and saw Vlad look at me. I throttled the ATV and drove beside him, then I took point. The guard had said it was five miles in this general direction. It wasn't easy to fuck up going straight. Even then, thank god this thing has a compass next to the speedometer.

Something about feeling the wind in your hair and glide across your skin… is freeing. Every bump made me groan… but after a while, it passed. Looking around, it was unreal. The trees were so thick and green… it was like I was in a fairy tale.

"Veta, you have to be careful – there is a small dip in the terrain. Some men have crashed the ATV's here." The guard spoke as loud as he could, trying to counteract the wind. I almost didn't heat him – this was too fun.

"I'm not just some 'man', comrade."

I'm a Makarov. I could see what he was talking about there was a dip… no, not a dip – a narrow pass. There was enough room for an ATV to pass or a creature on foot, but if you were to not pass over it correctly… you were going into the deep holes on both sides. That looked painful. A part of me wanted to slow down and take the path carefully. Another part of me simply wanted to floor it even faster. Thirdly, there was the part of me that wanted to stop and let the guard drive.

I pressed the throttle as fast as it would go and zoomed across the dip. I could feel the guard grip my waist, slightly. Maybe Vlad had told him to be extra careful with me? Looking back, I saw Yuri shoot me a small smile, shaking his head. What a rush. I turned and kept my eyes forward, there was still a ways to go. We had only gone, about… a mile. I didn't mind. Everything was a blur to me. Looking at the speedometer, it said 80 miles an hour. Holy crap…

"Veta, slow down. You're going to miss the 'Saundra'. Right. I slowed the vehicle and took stock of my new surroundings. One thing was noticeable – there were no animals. Earlier, you could hear birds chirping and animals eating… but here, there was nothing. It was like they knew to stay away.

I could see a modern house in the distance. It was beautiful. It almost looked like it belonged. I finally let my fingers off of the throttle. The ATV glided to a halt before the impressive house.

"Veta," Yuri pulled up beside me, turning off his ATV, "where the hell did you learn to drive like that?"

"Mom and dad never taught me how. So, I taught myself."

"Remind me never to drive with you." I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Wait… no. I couldn't act like that – I was in public. This was going to be a lot harder to keep up than I originally thought. Taking a deep breath, I settled myself. Okay – time to act like Vlad. Like a Makarov.

The three guards took point and lead us to the house. Honestly, I'm surprised that Vlad trusts them with this knowledge. They must be some die hard men. As I entered the sanctuary, it looked very… underwhelming. From the outside, it was beautiful. The inside was full of computers and files that I didn't really care about. Hopefully there'd be a bed or a couch around here.

"That will be all." Vlad announced, turning to face his men. In unison, the three men nodded. These guys were too loyal to Vlad for my liking. Something just didn't feel right to me. I had to stop overthinking this. As soon as they left, Vlad and Yuri both turned to face me.

"For the next while, you will be staying here, with us. This is my safe house. We'll help you get acquainted with your new situation."

"I've tried my best, today," I walked around the house, sitting down on the couch and taking off the bulletproof vest – was it ever heavy, "I tried to be like a Makarov."

"You're going to have to try harder." Vlad's tone was hard, but I knew why. For one, if I didn't learn fast, I'd be a dead woman walking. Two, if people saw my weakness, they could exploit me – exploit Vlad. If they knew who I really was… that would be awful. Honestly, I don't really know. He promised me he'd keep me safe, but if anything actually happened… what would he do? Suddenly, I really felt alone. Looking into his eyes, I didn't know him. I honestly didn't. What was his actual end game? I could feel a shiver run up and down my spine.

"I understand." I took in a deep breath, looking around the place.

"First, Yuri is going to teach you how to shoot a gun. Properly. I don't need you accidently shooting yourself when you actually need to use it."

"When would I ever need to use it?" It was a valid question. It's not like I was going out into the front lines or anything.

"Once the American's associate you with me – they already have started to – you will become a threat and a target to them. They will either try to capture you or kill you." Vlad walked over to the window, keeping his composure.

"I'm just a girl – why would they even consider me a threat?" I stood up a little too quickly. Those pain pills were still hitting me hard.

"Veta, think about what you just said. You know what they did to you." Vlad turned to face me, raising his eye brow.

I… shit. Mixing the pain pills and my internal state of affairs, I wasn't thinking right. I was already repressing the memories of what had transpired. Obviously, my mind was trying to protect its self. If I kept thinking about it… I'd do more harm than good. But, how was I supposed to find a balance? For fucks sake… I needed to get my act together.

"I apologize – my mind isn't in the right place." I walked over towards him, looking out at the view. I wish I could see this every day.

"One – never apologize. It only shows weakness. Two – I get it. I know what happened was traumatic, but you need to take a step back. You'll learn to adjust. Here, take a nap – you need it." Vlad put his hand on my shoulder and led me back over to the couch. My body sunk into its worn cushions. I did my best to get comfortable as I laid back, but too many things were on my mind. Finally, as I slowly drifted off, I heard Vlad remark something. Hell, I didn't even know if it was him saying it, or my mind playing tricks on me.

"She will learn. If not, she'll die by her own ignorance."