Broken
Chapter 12- She Talks To Angels
A/N: Omg, I'm so, so, so, so, so, so sorry! It's been so long since I've updated. You guys are still amazing, leaving reviews, thank you to the anonymous reviews-I love them all! :) Anyways, now off to this long waited chapter!
This chapter is extra long because of the long wait. Please do not expect all the chapter's to be this long from now on. :)
Recap (Oh goodness, don't we need it!)-
"Noah, you listen to me. When I do pass, in my will, I've left you this house. I want you to take care of it. Raise a family here, I prefer it be with Rachel, even if this is only your summer home. Take care of it for me..." Miriam struggled to take a breath. "...My oxygen is in my room. Please get it for me?" Rachel took the cue and went to get it for her. When she returned, Miriam looked even weaker. "Thank you dear. Noah, I love you, you were always my little angel. Rachel, dear, take care of him for me. He'll need someone to put him in line." She laughed a little but slipped into a light sleep. Rachel nodded as she try to hold in the sob.
Puck looked up to Rachel, both with tears in their eyes. "What do I do?" Puck asked desperatly.
"Accept it Noah, it's her time. She lived a long life." Rachel kissed the top of his head, not knowing what else to do.
"No." He shook his head. "I should have visited more...I...I can't lose her, not yet." He watched as Miriam struggled for breaths. "I love you Nana," He whispered softly. He didn't see her breath, panic setting in, "Nana?" Puck felt Rachel wrap her arms around his neck, holding him tightly. For the first time in years, Puck felt tears run down his cheeks.
…***...***
"Ladies and gentleman, I'd like to remind you that concluding today's procession, there will be a gathering at Chen's restaurant. If you need directions please see me before the cemetery." Edward Dolan Jr., owner of Gaffney and Dolan funeral announced to the large crowd of mourners.
Puck's grip on Rachel's hand tightened as the Rabbi stood up. Puck didn't want to be here, he didn't want to be there when his Nana died, the only good thing that came out of this was he wasn't alone. He never thought that Rachel would one day console him. She has held him every night, not letting go when he cried like a baby. Rachel had stepped up to the plate, taking control over the whole situation. She made the call to hospice, called his parents, called Edward Dolan for body transportation, and when Edward showed up, Rachel was the one to talk and get everything set. Puck was in awe as he watched his girlfriend prepare for the proper Jewish services he never even thought would have to be done. She talked business with Mr. Dolan and just let his family mourn.
Rachel glanced over to see tears forming in the corner of Puck's eyes, she frowned slightly as she leaned over and pecked his cheek. She gently stroked his arm with her free hand, trying to give him as much comfort as she could provide. When he didn't acknowledge her, she knew he was deep in thought; she laid her head on his arm, gripping his hand tightly. She knew she had let the old part of her come back to life, and she knew it would be hard to go back, Puck was changing her whether she was ready or not. Rachel only wanted to make this easy on his family, they had been so kind to accept her for who she was, so she let the leadership in her take over; making the arrangements was the least she could do for them and she planned to cook dinner for them until they left. Which was one thing she didn't want to have to explain to Finn; she was staying with Puck until he was ready to leave Westerly, she couldn't leave him, she didn't want to have to think of leaving him to mourn by himself. She felt Puck shift slightly, then the brush of his lips against her head; Puck let go of her hand, bringing it to wrap securely around her shoulder.
Puck felt as if time moved at warp speed, one minute he was listening to the Rabbi talk about the meaning of life and the next he was sitting in the limo with his family, Rachel still at his side. He couldn't stand the tears that constantly came to his eyes when he thought about the summers with his Nana. As they pulled into the cemetery, Puck's grip on Rachel became a death grip, he couldn't let go of her, he was sure if he did, he would crumple to the ground and really act like a baby.
A light snow started to fall as Puck stepped out of the limo, a fresh wave of tears coming to his eyes, cringing when he heard his sister let out a wailing sob. But the funeral pressed on, Rachel pressing her head to his chest. This would be a long week of mourning for the Puckerman family.
…***…***
"Okay so when we get on the plane…" Quinn started but was soon interrupted by Rachel
"I'm not coming with you." Rachel stirred the pasta that she just put in the boiling water.
"Wait, what?" Quinn gaped at Rachel.
"I'm not flying out with you, I'll be flying out in 10 days." Rachel stated matter-of-factly as she moved around the kitchen as if it were her own. It had been four days since the funeral and the family was in the traditional seven day mourning period.
"You're staying here with Puck?" Quinn hesitated with her sentence, she wasn't sure how she felt with Rachel staying with Puck for 10 days, not that she didn't like him, but he was Puck.
"Yes, Finn already knows and understands. Noah needs me right now, his family needs me right now, so I'll be staying with them. Now I suggest you take Noah and my first class seats…"
"Wait, why do you have first class? I thought you were in coach with Finn and I." Quinn stood to help Rachel drain all the pasta.
Rachel shrugged, "I don't know, Noah didn't want to ride in coach, he never has. He offered to pay for yours and Finn's but he declined, Noah still bought ours first class." Rachel turned away from Quinn mumbling under her breath, "I'm sure if I wanted to ride coach he would have bought those."
"Well then, here I thought you would be coming with us and Puck would join us later." Quinn stomped her way out of the kitchen, dishes in hand. Quinn's mind flooded with memories of why she was never really friends with Rachel in high school, that is until Quinn started dating Finn and was more or less forced to hang out with her and become friends with her. Quinn set the table, stepping back into the kitchen, Rachel was joined with two others.
"Quinn, this is Mr. and Mrs. Sagaria, they're from down the road, dropping off some dessert." Rachel smiled softly.
The older woman with grey and blond hair spoke softly, "Well, we ought to be goin' now, I just wanted to bring this pie by. It was nice meeting you Rachel." Mrs. Sagaria stepped forward, gently hugging Rachel, "I hope to see you at Temple with Noah soon, and take care of that boy, his Nana was his world." She kissed Rachel's cheek.
Rachel hugged her tightly, "Thank you, it was so nice meeting you. Don't worry I'll take care of him."
Mr. Sagraria stepped forward to kiss Rachel's cheek and bid her a goodbye, both of them ignoring Quinn, who still stood in the door way. Mrs. Sagaria looked over at the blond, "Have a good day." She quipped, her husband just nodding his head towards her.
Quinn could see that the cross on her neck made her stand out and be branded as non-Jewish, "You too." Quinn mumbled, stepping into the dining room once more.
Rachel watched Quinn disappear into the other room, leaving Rachel to walk the guests out.
After Rachel had watched the elderly couple make it safely to her car, she walked back into the dining room to find Quinn in a heated argument with Finn. "But Finn, she's staying with him for ten days. Why can't she leave with us? I mean, it's his family not hers."
Finn sighed, getting annoyed with his girlfriend very fast. "It's customary Jewish tradition for the family to mourn for seven days and that's what Puck is doing. Rachel is being a good girlfriend and staying with them to make sure they're okay and they don't need anything."
Quinn rolled her eyes and walked away, glaring at Rachel. "Hey Finn," Rachel said nervously to her brother, "Is Quinn okay?"
"Yeah Rach, she's just upset that you're staying with Puck instead of flying out with us. I wish I could stay with him, but I need to go to Lima or else Quinn will get mad at me." Finn looked at Rachel and smiled. "I think it's great you're staying with him, really. That's awesome of you."
"Thanks Finny," Rachel said quietly, looking down, "I think I could love him." She looked up, biting her lip, "Is…is that a bad thing? Should I be able to love someone this soon? Should I be able to love someone in general? What if he doesn't love me?" Rachel asked, making herself panic.
Seeing tears in her eyes, Finn hugged her tightly, "Rachey, if you love him, that's great. It means I'll finally get my crazy ass little sister back. I've missed her. If he doesn't love you I'll kill him, okay?" Finn told her gently, kissing the top of her head.
Rachel nodded against his chest, "Okay. Love you Finny."
"Love you too Rachey." Finn pulled back and looked at his sister, he realized just how small she looked standing next to him. "Now, come on, teach me how to make these cookies of yours." He smiled and led her into the kitchen.
"And see, then you just roll the chocolate covered marshmallow's onto the coconut, like this." Rachel rolled out her Cathedral cookie batter to show Finn how to do it. "Now we wrap it in parchment paper, stick it in the fridge to chill." Rachel carefully wrapped her dough in the paper, moving to put it in the fridge.
"Wait," Finn was mimicking her movements. "We don't cook these?" Rachel shook her head,
"Then what about the egg?" Finn placed his in next to Rachel's.
"No, the chocolate was hot enough to cook the egg." Rachel moved to put the dishes in the dishwasher, this was the first time Finn had ever made the move to learn something of Rachel's favorite activity. She looked at her brother, who was cleaning up the extra coconut. "I want to sing…"
"Really? That's amazing Rachel," Finn turned to look at his sister, his goofy smile spread across his face.
"To Puck, our song, the one you sang to me. Would you mind?"
Finn really looked at Rachel, and when he did, he could see the light shinning there. Love, was the only thing that came to his mind. His baby sister was really in love, "Of course I don't, you don't even have to ask, he could probably use it right now." Rachel nodded her lip, still looking conflicted. "You love him Rachel, I can see it." Rachel nodded her head again, running towards Finn, who opened his arms and accepted his sister's embrace. "It's okay Rach. You deserve to be happy, I want you to be happy and Puck is doing that. I couldn't be happier." Rachel nodded, sniffling into her brother's chest.
"Do you really love her?" Before Finn could actually answer her question, his name could be heard around the house. Finn quickly shook his head, Quinn was fastly becoming his number one most disliked person.
"Finn! Rachel's boyfriend swore at me!" Quinn seethed, stomping into the kitchen.
"I don't want to be in the middle of this!" Rachel twisted out of Finn's embrace, "Now what did you say to Noah?"
"Me…?" Quinn looked at Rachel.
"Yes, you usually do something to evoke him swearing." Rachel stated moving to finish packing the dishwasher.
"Well he got all upset over what the cousin said, something about the will and him being the favored one in the family. So, Puck being Puck, stormed upstairs, I ran into him as he was walking in; I asked if he was okay and he nodded but I could see how upset he was. I told him that he needed to move on, his grandmother would want him to, then he said 'fuck you,' and slammed the door." Quinn was upset and thought he honestly shouldn't get away with saying that to her.
Rachel stopped what she was doing to look at Quinn, instinct telling her to go to him. "Well, there you go. Puck's grandmother lives in New York and in his words, is a bitch. His Nana was the one he loved, will always love." Rachel put the last dish in and moved to the doorway, "Now please excuse me, my boyfriend obviously needs me." Rachel ran from the kitchen, going straight to Puck's room. When she stepped into the room, Puck was curled into a ball on the bed. "Oh Noah…" Rachel closed the door, locking it behind her. Her heart broke at the sight of his shaking shoulders, it had killed him to be there when she passed.
Puck heard Rachel come in, and in all honesty, he couldn't muster the strength to get up and meet her eyes. When the bed dipped down next to him, he instinctively rolled over, curling into Rachel's body, his head on her chest; looking for any form of comfort she was willing to give to him. "I…" Puck took a deep breath and tried to get his breathing under control, "Miss…her." He gripped Rachel as tight as he could, afraid she would disappear and he would be alone, with no one to hold him.
Rachel ran her fingers over his scalp, her other resting on his forearm. "Shh, it's okay. I know you miss her, I'd be worried if you didn't." Rachel whispered, a smirk playing on her lips. "It'll be okay… Shh," Rachel tried to soothe him, but she also knew he had to get it all out, it would help him cope with her death.
Puck tried to not cry, but the tighter he held on to her, the tighter she held him back, he felt safe enough to fall apart, only in her arms. She started to softly hum what sounded like a song, Puck sniffled, really trying to get his tears under control, so he could hear what she was doing. Soon the humming turned into actual lyrics.
It's like a storm,
That cuts a path
It's breaks your will
It feels like that.
Rachel gently kissed the top of his head. Rachel took a deep breath, keeping her own tears at bay.
You think your lost
But you're not lost on your own
You're not alone
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
If you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go
A new wave tears came to Puck's eyes as he listened to the lyrics, listening to her sing.
It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it's dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we're too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains
Puck gripped her waist even tighter, he couldn't think what he would do without her. He didn't ever want to find out. Rachel had continued to run her fingers over his scalp, making him feel like a little boy who needed the comfort. He wanted to kiss her, but he still wanted to listen to her sing.
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let you fall
Don't be afraid to fall
I'm right here to catch you
I won't let you down
It won't get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it
Rachel felt her own emotion's really coming to the surface. She wanted to cry for him, take some of the pain away. She held on as tight as she could, trying to absorb as much as she could. She would never forget the first time singing again and how it was to the man she couldn't live without.
Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you've done all you can do
And you can't cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go
Oh I'm gonna hold you
And I won't let go
Won't let you go
No I won't.
Rachel finished with a sniffle, Puck was silent but with his chest rising and falling evenly, she knew he had fallen asleep. Rachel was okay with that, he needed the sleep, he'd been restless for the last few nights. She continued to run her hand across his scalp, hoping that even in sleep she could give him the comfort he needed. "Thank you, that was beautiful. You're beautiful. I love you," Puck's voice startled her, she stopped her ministrations, she only now was thinking about the possibilities of loving the man lying with her.
Rachel leaned down, kissing the top of his head, whispering loud enough for him to hear her clearly, "I love you too." Rachel finally let a tear fall.
Puck could hear the softness in Rachel's voice, and knew she meant it but when the tear fell and hit his head, he sat up. "Babe why the tears?" Puck reached up, wiping the tears off with his thumb.
"Say it again," Rachel smiled softly, leaning into Puck's hand.
Puck laughed, leaning into kiss Rachel's lips gently. "I love you, Rachel, and you only. Forever and ever, the rest of time. I love you." He kissed her nose, before lying back down with her.
…***...***
Rachel packed the last bag of toiletries for the plane ride to Lima, "Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Rachel glanced worriedly back at Hanna.
"Of course dear, we'll be just fine, you've done enough for us already." Hanna walked across the room, a small package in her hands. "Here, it's from Aaron and me," Hanna handed Rachel the small box.
Rachel knew instantly it was a jewelry box, she glanced back up at Hanna before opening it. Sitting against the black velvet was an 18K white gold, diamond encrusted Star of David necklace. "Oh, I can't accept this, this is too much!" Rachel gently touched it, wondering what it would look like on.
"No, no its not. You've helped out so much over the past ten days, you deserve it. It's a thank you of sorts," Hanna moved over to where Rachel stood, taking back the box, quickly taking it out and clasping it around Rachel's neck. "See dear, it's gorgeous."
Rachel played with the pendant nervously, "It is, but I'm sure I don't want to know the price on this." Rachel looked in the mirror, watching the light hit the diamonds.
Hanna chuckled, "No, you probably don't but please don't worry about that." As soon as Rachel turned around, Hanna swept her up in a hug. "Please realize you are like a daughter to me," Hanna smiled sadly. "I will miss you so much, you need to take care of each other, promise me?"
"I promise," Rachel felt a tear slide down her cheek.
Puck appeared in the door, "Are you ready? The plane leaves soon." Puck saw that they were having a little moment and almost felt bad for interrupting but they were already behind.
"Of course, here's the last bag." Rachel zipped closed the small bag, walking it to Puck.
Puck caught the shine from the necklace that he helped picked out, he smiled over Rachel towards his mom. "Good, come on babe," Puck pressed a kiss to her temple, walking hand in hand with her down to the waiting car. Once they were seated, the driver closed the door, with one last wave to his parents, they were off to TF Green. "I love you baby," Puck kissed her temple once more.
Rachel smiled brightly, leaning into his side, "I love you too."
…***...***
"Baby, it's time to wake up, where about to land." Puck gently shook Rachel awake, trying to sit her up in her own seat, "Come on babe, wakey wakey," Puck laughed at his own stupidity.
"Mmm, no," Rachel mumbled trying to scoot closer to Puck's side.
"No babe, really, you have to wake up now." Puck kissed her cheek, whispering against her cheek, "You can go back to sleep in the car, why do you think I had a driver come to pick us up, I knew you'd do this."
"Shut it Puckerman," She slapped his chest lightly.
"Right, come on," Rachel groaned as Puck sat her up.
"I hate you," Rachel mumbled, fastening her seat belt.
Puck laughed at her attitude, "No, you love me!" Puck leaned over, pecking her lips lightly.
"It's debatable."
"Bullshit! You love me, I love you..."
"What are we five and singing along to Barney?" Rachel quipped.
Puck just shook his head and laughed, "Whatever babe, love you too."
Puck collected their bags from the carousel, walking closely next to Rachel, looking for the sign that would say his name. Finding it, he quickly guided Rachel towards the car.
"Mr. Puckerman?" The driver held out his hand, shaking Puck's, "If you're ready, we have quite the drive to Lima."
"Yes, my sleeping princess and I will get in if you could put the bags away?" The man nodded his head, opening the door for them. Puck helped Rachel into the car before sliding in next to her.
Rachel leaned against his shoulder, "Can I go back to sleep now?"
"Of course babe, sleep tight. If you're still asleep when we get to Lima, do you just want me to carry you in?" Rachel nodded, snuggling deeper into his chest.
Puck laughed a little bit, he should have known the flight would knock her out. She was asleep before the driver was even in the car.
The driver glanced back at Puck before pulling away, seeing the girl snuggled next to him, in a deep sleep. "She your girlfriend?" The driver asked quietly, not sure how asleep Rachel actually was.
Brushing a piece of hair out of her face, he nodded, "Yeah, she is." Puck kissed Rachel's head, settling in for the long drive.
"Sound in love kid," The driver commented with a smile on his face. He saw a lot of young kids who claimed to be in love and by the next year they had already parted ways. But something was different about these two, they really seemed to have the real deal.
"She's the love of my life," Puck whispered, he felt odd sharing how he felt with someone other than Rachel or his parents.
"Hold onto her." The driver remembered his own mistake in life, letting his true love go, thinking they would be better off without one another, but years down the road, his chest still ached when he thought about her.
"I don't plan to let her go," Puck whispered, letting his eyes droop close. The driver was quiet after that letting the both of them sleep. "Can you wake me up when we're about 20 minutes from Lima?"
"Sure thing." The driver nodded, letting them both get back to sleep.
…***...***
The driver did as Puck asked and when they pulled up to the Berry's house late that evening, Puck scooped Rachel up and started towards the house. Puck felt like a pack-mule carrying Rachel and the bags. He laughed a little as Rachel tried to move in his arms, but couldn't due to her fifty ton purse resting on her stomach.
Puck walked up to her dad's front door and knocked, laughing silently at how they must look. Finn answered the door and smiled when he saw them. "Sorry dude, shoulda warned you that she gets really tired on plane rides." Finn said sheepishly, taking a couple of the bags from Puck so he could walk into the house without falling over.
"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Puck said, looking around the house. It wasn't as big as his but it was still big. Two older men stepped around out from around a corner, and smiled gently at Puck.
"Oh, she's still asleep. I'm Walter," the smaller man held his hand out to Puck before laughing to himself, "Let me show you to Rachel's room, I'm pretty sure her bed will be big enough for the both of you." Puck slowly nodded, following both men up the stairs. "Just lay her down, she'll stay asleep," As soon as he placed her on the bed, she sighed his name and rolled over. "Well then, again, I'm Walter or as the kids call me, I'm daddy." Walter held out his hand and Puck shook it firmly.
It all came together, and Puck had to hold in the laugh that wanted to bubble out. Finn calls his father daddy... Oh this is going to be a long break! "Noah Puckerman, nice to meet you sir."
The bigger, taller man stepped forward, "I'm Henry, and it's very nice to meet you."
Puck smiled, "Nice to meet you too, sir...sirs? Mr. Berry's..." Puck's head was confused. He never had to meet two dads before. What the hell was the proper protocol for this situation? He needed a head condom; he was being mind-fucked right now.
Both men laughed loudly, "Just stick to Henry and Walter son," Henry clapped Puck on the back, shaking his head, but a huge smile on his face.
Puck nodded, still thinking how he went from never meeting a father of his girlfriend to meeting two of them in one night. "Daddy," Finn called out. "What kind of pizza am I ordering?" Puck eyes widened, trying not to laugh, again.
"What kind of pizza do you like son?" Henry looked back at Puck.
"Uh, sausage and peppers," Puck looked at the older man, Puck wasn't used to be calling son from anyone other than his own father.
"Okay, well, we'll let you settle in and you can wake Rachel when it gets here." Puck nodded, watching both men walk out, shutting the door behind them.
Puck sat down next to Rachel, just watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful, like she didn't have a care in the world, but the dark circles under her eyes told a different story. A story of helping him and his family through the rough time they just went through. A story of staying up holding him at night when she desperately needed sleep. A story of a haunted life he still did not fully know, but knew enough about that made him want to kill people. He didn't know how long he sat there, but the next thing he knew, Finn was knocking on the door.
"Hey, foods here." Finn said quietly, as he opened the door. He saw Puck nod slightly, his eyes still glued on Rachel's sleeping form. Finn could see the concern written across face but he could see the emotions that played out, emotions Finn has never seen before. Finn wanted his best friend to be happy and his sister and if they made each other happy then Finn would be too. Finn quickly thought about what love felt like and wondered how Quinn and he fell out of it. Shaking his head to rid those thoughts, Finn spoke up, "Puck, if you love my sister...that's cool. You make her happy. I want her to be happy."
Puck nodded, not completely comfortable with the conversation knowing Rachel could wake up at any second. When the door quietly shut, Puck put a hand on Rachel's shoulder, shaking it gently, "Babe, dinner is here."
"Mm, no, I wanna sleep..." Rachel mumbled, turning to face away from him.
"Rach, you gotta be hungry, you really haven't had anything since we left Westerly..."
"No. I want to sleep Noah. Now you can either shut up and come join me or go get food. I want to sleep though..." Rachel looked over her shoulder. Puck's head was turned to the side, contemplating to just take of his shoes and pants and crawl into bed with her or to go get pizza.
"I think I'll join you." Puck slipped his shoes off, stood to shut off her light before taking his jeans off and laying down behind Rachel, pulling her against his chest. "I love you Rachel." Puck whispered to her, not sure if she was still awake or is she had already fallen back to sleep.
"I love you too Noah." With a content sigh, they both drifted to sleep, the pizza quickly forgotten.
…***...***
The next day, Rachel woke up before Puck, like normal, usually she would go make coffee but today she was just content to watch him sleep. All the worry washed away in slumber, his sadness was not so present. After a few minutes, her stomach growled loudly, loud enough to wake Puck up. "I told we should have eaten last night." Puck laughed, slowly opening his eyes. "Ugh, I need to shower." Puck ran his hand across his face, trying to wake himself.
"Well you shower, and I'll go make coffee and breakfast." Rachel lifted the covers, hopping off the bed and heading towards the door. "Towels are in the closet!" She yelled over her shoulder.
Rachel walked down the stairs with pep in her walk, humming a show tune from West Side Story.
…***...***
When Rachel finished with breakfast, Puck still wasn't down stairs. So, she piled the food and coffee onto a platter and walked it up stairs. When she pushed the door open, Puck was sitting on the bed, guitar in his lap, tears in his eyes, strumming a slow song. Rachel closed the door, moving to silently place the platter on her old desk, going to where Puck sat. "Sing it for me," Rachel whispered, rubbing his back softly. Puck shook his head, tears spilling onto his cheeks.
Puck didn't know if he'd make it through the song without crying his eyes out. Not something he wanted to do this morning. But when he stood under the spray of the hot shower, the memory of his Nana singing to him came to the front of his mind. "I...can't." Puck choked out, but Rachel rubbed his back and continued to encourage him to sing, he finally broke down, looking at Rachel he decided he should fill in the gap. "When I was still young, well getting ready to go into high school, I was the only one that would go to visit Nana, she had slipped up and said when she passed I would get most, if not all of the money and houses. But she didn't want me to get too far ahead of myself; she always made sure I was level headed. She sang to me...and I'll never forget it." Puck reached out, grabbed her hand and squeezed.
"Sing it to me, please?" Rachel looked up at him, her brown eyes shining from unshed tears.
Puck nodded, taking a deep breath before strumming the intro quietly. He tried to compose himself as much as he could before singing. He knew the tears would be inevitable.
Well mama told me, when I was young
Said sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this, it'll help you some sunny day
Ahhh
Yeah it will
Or take your time don't live to fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
You'll find a woman and you'll find love
And don't forget that there's is a someone up above
Puck took a deep breath, looking over to see the tears on Rachel's cheeks, matching his own. "I love you baby," Puck whispered, continuing to strum, but leaning over and kissing her softly. Puck chuckled to himself, at least I found love, Puck thought to himself, throwing all he had into the chorus.
Be a simple kind of man
Be a something you love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh won't you do this for me son if you can
(if you can)
Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need now is in your soul
And you can do this(oh baby)if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied
To say Rachel was proud of her boyfriend would be a complete understatement. She now knew she could never not love this man. She laid her hand on his back, gently rubbing, his tears were now streaming down his face.
And be a simple kind of man
Be a something that you love and understand
Baby be a simple kind of man
Oh won't you do this for me son if you can
(if you can)
Oh don't you worry
You'll find yourself
Follow your heart
And nothing else
And you can do this(oh baby)if you try
All that I want from you my son is to be satisfied
And be a simple kind of man
Oh won't you do this for me son if you can
So baby be a simple be a simple man
Oh won't you do this for me son if you can
When Puck finished his song, Rachel gently took the guitar from his hands, laying it down on the floor. She scooted up so her back was against the head board, motioning for Puck to join her. He crawled up to her, laying his head in her lap, her hand automatically going to his head, running it through his short hair. "Shh Noah, its okay."
Puck choked on a sob, "I…" He took a deep breath, getting the crying under control. "…Miss Pixie." Rachel laughed quietly, kissing the top of his head. "No, really, she always comes up and licks my face…makes me kind of smile."
"Well then, what am I doing here?" Rachel feigned hurt.
Puck kissed her stomach, nuzzling his face into her body, "Loving me."
"Of course I am." Rachel continued to run her fingers through his hair, every now and then, kissing his head gently. They sat in silence for a long while, their breakfast long forgotten. Puck clung to Rachel's waist, letting tears leak out whenever he thought of a particular memory of his Nana. All the times she took him to Ashaway Playground, pushing him on the swings or running through the wooden fort with him, never missing a beat. Or when she bought him his first kite and took him to Ninigret Park to teach him how to fly it. When she taught him how to ride his bike at the age of five, she took him on the bike trails at Ninigret, she carried the first aid kit so when he fell and scraped his knee, there was a bacon band aid and a Nana Puckerman kiss to make it all better. She would also travel to Hope Valley just to get him flavored burst ice cream he loved so much. The one time she actually attempted to teach him how to knit, failed, Puck got the yarn in such a knot it had to be thrown away. Nana Puckerman would make sure he went to the Washington County Fair every year until he turned 13, then she told him he could take her. Wednesday night was dinner date night. He would tell everyone in school he had date, and when they asked who the lucky lady was, Puck would reply, "My Nana." They would all laugh but when he brought left over's the next day, all of the kids would want to try it. Puck would just tell them to fuck off and continue eating. He had countless pictures of him with his Nana, cooking, cleaning, gardening, you name it, he's done it with his Nana. This is why it hurt so much, she was no longer around to do all these things with him; he no longer had his Nana to visit on school breaks, no Nana to bug when he was bored or drive around when she no longer could. When the family said he was the favorite, it was so true and he never once denied it.
When Rachel heard the next broken sob leave his mouth she shushed him and asked, "Do you want me to call the house so you can talk to Pixie?" Puck nodded against her, Rachel just sighed, pulling out her cell phone, dialing the house number and putting it on speaker. Hanna picked up almost immediately.
"Hello Rachel," Hanna said cheerfully. "How's Lima?"
"Hello to you too. Lima's okay but Noah would like to talk to Pixie…" Rachel sighed, she knew this sounded absolutely absurd.
"Um, okay? Is everything okay?" Hanna sounded worried that her son wanted to talk to a dog.
"Everything's fine, he just misses her, I guess. It's too bad Pixie is deathly afraid of that stupid crate or she would have been out here with us." Rachel didn't know why Pixie was so afraid of it but when they attempted to put her in it, she whimpered and whined, throwing up instantly.
"I know, but what can you do? Next time you'll just have to take the private jet out of the Westerly airport. Then she won't have to be in a crate…"
"Wait, you have a private jet?" Rachel interrupted.
"Three," Puck mumbled against her stomach.
"Oh." Was all Rachel could say.
"Let me head to Noah's room, Pixie won't move off that bed." Rachel could hear Hanna move up the stairs, opening what must have been Puck's door.
"I told you the dog loved me." Puck once again mumbled against Rachel's stomach.
Rachel laughed, "I know she does babe."
Hanna told them they were on speaker and were free to talk to Pixie, Puck sat up, taking the phone from Rachel. "Hey Pixie, I'm sorry we had to leave you behind." Pixie let out a soft growl, "Fucking grr to you too!" Rachel laughed, and listened as Puck continued to talk to the dog.
…***…***
Several days after their little morning conversation with Pixie, Puck had made an excutive decision. "We're going out tonight." Rachel looked at him puzzled. "Babe, we need to get out, just the two of us. We're either with your dad's or Finn and Quinn or just in here. We need to get out, let's go out for dinner." Puck suggested.
"Well, there's McDonalds. And well, that's it, I never cared for Breadstix's." Rachel looked up from her magazine.
Puck scrunched his eyebrow in confusion, "Breadstix's? Who names a restaurant that?"
Rachel laughed, "And they're not even good. There's bowling or movies." Rachel glanced back at the magazine, "And I prefer not to wear shoes that have been on other people's feet."
"Fine Ms. Picky, we'll go to the movies!" Puck stood up from the bed, moving over to his suitcase, "Come on princess, get up, we're leaving shortly." Puck didn't glance back as he walked into the bathroom to shower and get ready, he knew she would get ready.
Rachel sighed, putting her magazine down. "What are we seeing?" She called towards the closed door.
"No idea, just get ready. We'll figure that out when we get there."
Two hours later, they were standing at the door, putting coats on and grabbing keys. They would take her dad's SUV. Finn stood with his hands on his hips. "Now kids, drive carefully. Don't forget curfew is at midnight. If you don't have her back by then Puckerman… Let's just say it won't be pretty. And be safe, do you need the banana talk before you go?" Finn tried to hide the smile that wanted to break out across his face.
Puck shoved Finn's shoulder. "Seriously asshole? Shut the fuck up," But Puck smirked as he wrapped his arm around Rachel's shoulder. "Trust me, Rachel knows I know how to wrap it." Puck led Rachel out the door, she playfully slapped his chest.
Finn stood there for a minute before the joke finally caught up to him. "Hey! Dude that's my sister!" Finn hollered from the doorway but Puck and Rachel were already in the car.
Rachel looked at the dumbfounded expression on her brother's face, "That wasn't very nice Noah."
"Babe, it was fucking hilarious!" Puck pulled out of the driveway, heading towards the only movie theatre in Lima. "So, what's playing? Did you check online?" Puck came to a stop at an intersection.
"Yes, that new movie, "Take Me Home Tonight" is playing. It's that 80's comedy, it sounds pretty funny…" Rachel trailed off, she wasn't used to being able to constantly pick what they saw or where they ate.
"Okay babe that sounds good to me. It's whatever you want to see, you know that." Puck reached across the seat, taking her hand in his, squeezing gently.
"I know it is." Rachel whispered, watching the all too familiar scenery pass by her.
"You okay Rach?" Puck squeezed her hand again, general concern for his girlfriend coming out. "Babe? What's wrong?" Rachel didn't answer him, but continued to stare out the passenger window. When Puck turned the corner, heading up the main stretch of road, Rachel death gripped Puck's hand, whimpering quietly. "Babe, what's wrong? Really, you're scaring me, what's wrong?" Puck looked around, the only thing he really spotted as he drove by was a dark alley, and a dance studio, the rest of the buildings looked emptied. A tear slid down Rachel's cheek, her grip tightening. "Babe, I think your cutting off circulation." As soon as he passed the buildings and was turning up the next road, her grip loosened, and her eyes opened. She took a deep breath, bringing Puck's hand up to kiss the back of it.
Against his skin she whispered an, "I love you so much." Dropping their hands into her lap, continuing to hold on to it.
"I love you too princess, but what was that all about?" Puck questioned, still looking worried over his girlfriends actions.
"Can we talk about it later?"
"Sure babe," Puck was hesitant on his answer, he wanted to know so he could fix it. He hated to see her so upset. When they finally pulled in, Rachel waited until Puck was back in sight and she could get out and automatically catch his hand. "You sure you still want to do this?"
"Yes Noah," Rachel ducked her head, not looking up as Puck led them to the entrance of the theatre. Puck noticed Rachel acted less self confident and a lot shyer than when they were in New York. In New York she walked next to him with her held high, smiling the whole time. Puck bought the tickets, soda and popcorn; they made their way to the right theatre climbing up the stairs to get to the back of the theatre. When they sat down, Puck pulled the arm rest up, pulling into his side.
Puck tried not to let it bother him, but every time he glanced at Rachel, he kind of felt like they were back in September, on the first day she showed up. The quiet, no self confidence Rachel; not his loud, starting to take control of her life Rachel. "Popcorn?" Puck pushed the bucket into her lap.
"No, I don't need popcorn, I really should lose some weight." Rachel mumbled, "I don't want to be too fat…" Rachel glanced away, pushing the popcorn into his lap again.
Puck's brow knitted together in confusion, "Princess, what are you talking about? You're perfect, I love you." Puck placed the popcorn on the floor, taking her chin in his hand, turning her head gently so she would have to look at him. He knew that Rachel was building her walls back up and he knew right then and there that they would head home as soon as possible-tomorrow if it's his choice. Lima wasn't healthy for her.
"But you might not if I'm too fat."
Puck shook his head, kissing her gently, "Babe, that's not true." Puck picked up the popcorn bucket, "Really babe, we haven't had dinner, you should have something." When Rachel shook her head, Puck sighed and sat back, drawing her back to his side. He didn't want her in Lima if this was how it would make her feel.
The lights dimmed, the movie starting, Rachel snuggled deeper into Puck's side. But after 20 minutes Rachel really needed to get up and use the restroom. "Noah?"
Puck looked down at Rachel's wide eyes, "Yeah babe, what's up?" Puck whispered, not taking his eyes off of her.
"May I use the restroom?" Rachel adverted her eyes, her tone was serious though, there was no hint to a joke or teasing.
"What? Rach, you don't need my permission, just go." Puck brushed his hand across her cheek, Rachel flinched away from his touch. Puck tucked lose strands of hair behind her ear, confused as to why she flinched, he pulled his hand away. "Rachel?" Puck watched as she stood, walking down the stairs. Puck pulled out his cell phone, quickly sending Finn a message.
**WTF! We need to talk when I get back. Rachel just asked my permission to go the bathroom, and then fucking flinched away from me! Lima is not healthy for her, I'm taking her home to New York tomorrow! With or without you and Quinn, -Puck
Rachel exited the theatre, her head down. She knew that when or if she drove past there it would send her back to when she was with him and that was ridiculous. Her relationship with Puck was so much different, so much better than anything she had with him. Realization dawned on her as she entered the bathroom, I called myself fat, I flinched away from Noah, he wouldn't hurt me; he loves me. Rachel's mind went a mile per minute thinking of everything she did wrong, every wrong move she just made. How confused Puck must be by behavior.
When she exited the bathroom, she was wiping the excess water off her hands, "Rachel? Rachel Berry?" A familiar voice called out.
Rachel turned around to see a tall, lanky man walking towards her. He had the same short blond hair and deep blue eyes as he did two years ago when he walked out of her life too. "Noé?" She felt the tears well in her eyes. "What are you doing here?" Noé reached Rachel, trying to pull her into a hug. "No," Rachel pushed him away.
"I'm on break, what have you been up to? Are you still living at home?" Noé asked, standing close to her.
"No, I moved to New York." Rachel kept her answer short, trying to get away from him, she wanted nothing to do with the one person that didn't fight for her. Didn't try to help her.
"Oh, why there? Wait, isn't Finn out there?" Noé looked at Rachel, really looked at her. He could see that the light in her eyes had returned over the years, that she looked healthy.
"Yes, he is. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to my boyfriend." Rachel tried to move around him but Noé grabbed her arm, stopping her, "Let go of me."
"Are you still with Jesse?" He really hoped she wasn't but back then, she was in love with him.
"No." Rachel tried to pull her wrist from his grasp.
Noé was surprised to hear she was with someone else. "Oh, well Jesse comes home this week, are you going to see him?"
"No." Rachel tried again, but Noé didn't loosen his grip, "Please, let go of me."
Noé was always jealous that Rachel never gave him the time of day, always brushed him off, called him her best friend. He pulled her closer to him, "Does he treat you the way Jesse did? Tell you he loves you? Protects you from all the bad guys? Does he act like a gentleman? Treat you special?" Noé whispered, looking right into her eyes.
Rachel didn't know who was standing in front of her, it wasn't her former best friend. "You walked away from me, when I pulled away from you, crying out for help, you left. Not a second glance…"
"Who the hell are you? Get your hands off her!" Puck had enough waiting, when Rachel didn't return, he knew something was off. What he didn't expect was to come out and find some other guys hands on her. He could see how tense Rachel was, she was uncomfortable.
Rachel turned around, seeing Puck behind her. Noé dropped her hand, sighing in relief, Rachel ran towards Puck, wrapping her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest. "Noah," Rachel breathed him in, holding on tightly. "Can we please go home?" Rachel asked, looking up at Puck.
"Does he let you make all the decisions now? Kind of like Jesse did? What's going to happen in three months when everything changes? Huh?" Noé interjected before Puck could answer.
Puck couldn't believe the balls this guy had, to talk to her like that. Puck ignored this other guy and answered Rachel. "Yeah babe, we're heading to your father's house right now." Puck squeezed her tightly, kissing the top of her head. Puck glanced up at this other guy, who he didn't even know a name for him. "If you'd excuse us, we're leaving…"
"You're already controlling her. I see how you like them Rachel. Tell me, does he pay for everything too? What do you have to give him in return?" Noé stepped closer to the couple, seeing how far her new boyfriend would let him go.
Rachel shook her head, "No, no, I want to go home, Noah. I want to be back home." She looked up at him, expecting it all to click.
Puck nodded, he would get to take her home to New York hopefully tonight. Maybe he could get the jet… "Yeah princess, we'll head home."
"How convenient, you already live with him, don't you? I thought Jesse was your prince that had rescued the poor princess from the boring life. Isn't that how you explained it to me once?" Noé threw out there for good measure, he wasn't going to let Rachel just walk away again, she hurt him and he would be damned if he didn't hurt her back.
Puck shifted Rachel so she was behind him, still clinging to him though. "Alright dude, that's enough! I don't fucking know you, you don't know me. I'm taking Rachel out of here. One more word from you and I can't promise you what your face will look like when I'm done with it pretty boy." Puck sneered, "And last I checked Finn didn't like guys insulting his sister, now leave!" Puck motioned him towards the other side of the theatre.
"Hey Rachel, don't forget to say hi to Jesse before you go off wherever it is your living now." Noé turned on his heel and walked away, feeling a little too confident over what just went down.
Even though Puck was vibrating with anger, Rachel clinging to him told him he needed to get her out of here. "Come on babe," Puck took her in his arms leading her out the door. Once they were outside, Puck stopped so he could pick Rachel up bridal style. "Shh, your okay. I've got you now, no one can hurt you," Puck whispered, peppering her face with tiny kisses.
"I…just want to go home." Rachel sobbed, nuzzling his neck. She had enough of Lima. To find out he was getting out of jail and no one to throw her a heads up was like a punch to the gut. Then to see Noé and him to tell her and point out all the flaws her relationship with him had. "I-I-I love you," Rachel held on to Puck a little tighter when he went to open the door to the car, she wasn't ready for him to let her go yet.
"I know babe, I love you too, so much Rachel." He tried to kiss the tears away. Puck was confused, there was so much information he was missing. Where did this Jesse guy go?
Before anymore could be said, Finn pulled up, jumping out of the car, "Dude, you can't send me a text like that and not answer me back! What the hell is going on?" Finn walked towards the pair, looking at Rachel's crying form, to Puck who was holding her with such care.
"Let me down," Rachel croaked, Puck at first just tightened his grip but when Rachel struggled, he gently dropped her to her feet, watching her storm over to him. "I can't believe you!" Rachel slapped Finn hard across the cheek. "You knew, you knew, he was getting out of jail and you didn't even bother to tell me! Don't you think I have a right to know? I was going to be here, in Lima when he got out and nobody told me! What if he showed up at the door?" She hit his chest with her fist, "You knew! How could you do this to me! I trusted you Finn! I trusted that you would tell me if something like this came up! How long have you known?" Rachel yelled, as the pieces came together, it all made sense why her father's pressured her to move to New York. Why they and Finn would talk on the phone in hushed tones or why Finn would lock himself away in his room while they talked. "Oh… Oh god! Finn! You knew that the reason dad and daddy practically pushed me out the door to move to New York were because of him!" Finn stayed silently, listening to Rachel tell him the truth, why everything had been so sudden; from the move to keeping the conversations in private.
"We were trying to protect you Rachel…" Finn tried to explain.
"No! You kept this from me! You kept the main reason I was so hurt in secrecy. How could you do this to me? What if I ran into him on the streets?"
"We knew Puck would be with you…"
Rachel scoffed, "What if he didn't become my boyfriend? What if he didn't love me? Finn that's a lot of what ifs." Rachel watched the emotion play out on Finn's face, regret. "You know what, I can't do this. Keep secrets from me if you want. I hate you." Rachel turned back to a shocked Puck. "Take me home."
Puck nodded, "I'll call the airlines now. Come on babe." Puck held out his hand for Rachel to take, leading her to the passenger side of the car. Neither one looked back to see if Finn was still standing there or not.
…***…***
Puck watched Rachel walk up the stairs. He had called the airlines and they had the earliest flight money could buy them. In other words, a seven in the morning first class flight. Puck sighed, Rachel would pack and get the bags ready to be taken out, he was calling the car company to get a car out to pick them up. When he hung up, her father's were in the doorway. Walter looked at Puck, "I take it you two are leaving in the morning."
"Yes Walter, Rachel's pretty upset. I know I can't yell at you, you're her parents, I can be disappointed in you though. And I think I have the right to kick Finn's ass. He could have told her, but you both were so adamant on keeping him from her." Puck ran a hand through his short hair, rubbing the base of his neck. "I can't guarantee she'll ever want to come back here. I won't force her to either, this place hurts her and I hate to see her hurt." Puck stood, walking towards the stairs, both parents silent.
Henry spoke up before he could walk up them. "We're sorry, we thought it best to keep it from her, to protect her."
"You only hurt her worse. Can't you see that? Can't you see this killed her? You kept a huge secret from her. I might not understand what's really going on or why this dude was in jail-I have a pretty good hunch though-and one day I will know but for now, you hurt the one person I really love. I can't let that happen," Puck turned, heading towards Rachel's room, leaving both Henry and Walter in shock.
Puck walked into the room, seeing the suitcase on the bed, clothes folded next to it. "Rachel?" He was met with a small gasp from the bathroom. Puck hesitantly walked over to it, knocking softly. When he was met with a choked sobbed, Puck pushed the door open to find Rachel sitting on the edge of the tub, razor blade in hand. "Rachel, what are you doing?" Puck walked slowly towards Rachel, hands extended towards her. "Rachel, give me that," Puck reached for the blade but Rachel dropped it to the floor.
Tears streamed down Rachel's face as the reality of what she just tried to do came to her. "Noah…" Rachel sobbed as she let herself crumble to the floor, the despair washing through her. She hadn't felt this way since September; the self loathing, the depression, the anger. "Oh god," Rachel held her knees close to her body. She didn't want that man to be free, for him to be put in a world where he could find her. "Noah."
Puck finished walking towards her, dropping down next to her, gathering her in his arms. "Shh Rachel," Puck smoothed her hair down her back; he rocked her gently while whispering soothing, loving words to her. "It'll be okay, we're going home in the morning." Puck knew he was out of his element, he could soothe her from a bad dream or from a hard day but catching her trying to cut herself was one step too far, he didn't know what or if there was a protocol for this one. "Shh, Rachel calm down, it's okay." He continued to rock her, hoping something would calm her down.
Rachel looked up at Puck, her eyes wide and bloodshot from all the tears. Cupping his cheek in her hand, Rachel whispered, "Noah, I think it's time I tell you what really happened two years ago."
A/N: Don't kill me. I'm sorry it took so long to get out but this chapter was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be. Rachel sang, "I Won't Let You Go" by Rascal Flatts. Puck sang "Simple Man" the Shinedown version. And there's a Jersey Shore reference in there too. I own none of this!
Let me know, love it? Hate it? Any questions?