Broken
Chapter 18- Enter Sandman
A/N: No excuse, I know. Updates will come more regularly. I have the next few chapters already written of this. And honestly, besides being super busy, once Cory Monteith passed, I almost didn't feel right writing Finn, and struggled with it a little bit, but I'm finally back on track. The songs that inspired this chapter were: "Fix You" by Coldplay (can this song be part of the Broken anthem), "Lullaby" by Nickelback, "She Says" by Howie Day, "Little Things" by One Direction and "Wake Me Up" by Ed Sheeran. The title comes from Metallica. As usual, I own nothing. Xoxo
Puck & Rachel's - New York
When Puck and Rachel made it back to their new apartment in New York later that night, Puck noticed that Rachel seemed more quiet than normal. He let her sit on the couch and stare at the blank wall where there TV would be tomorrow morning. He sat next to her quietly and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. "It'll be okay Rachel. I promise, he won't get to you. Have you told your dads or Finn yet?" Puck questioned, knowing that her dads would need to inform Lima PD about this incident.
"No, I haven't. I haven't told anyone, only you," Rachel whispered, "And you can't tell Finn. He would kill Jesse and then he would be in jail." Rachel looked at Puck and gave him a stern look, effectively letting him know that she meant business.
Puck nodded and kissed the top of her head. "Come on beautiful, let's get to bed. Tomorrow we'll change your number. I promise." Puck stood and gently pulled Rachel up with him.
"That won't help Noah. He'll still find me. I'll call my dads in the morning and let them know what's going on. Right now, I just want to sleep." Rachel yawned loudly, showing Puck just how tired she really was. Getting to their room, Rachel stood in front of the bed staring at it for a moment before shaking herself out of her stupor and getting changed into her sweatpants and t-shirt. Climbing into bed after Noah, she snuggled closer to him, sighing happily.
"Can I ask what that little moment inside your head was a couple of minute ago?" Puck asked nervously, afraid that Rachel was having second thoughts about moving in with him. He would admit that it was a little soon, but with the way Finn was acting lately, Puck wanted Rachel to have a little separation from that situation.
Rachel nodded slightly before looking up at him, "Promise you won't get mad?" she asked, biting her lip.
"I could never be mad at you babe. What's wrong?" Puck asked, his nerves taking over his body.
"It just hit me that this is really our first night together, alone. Sure, we lived together before, and we always slept in your room, but this is different..." Rachel trailed off, looking off to the side, not wanting to see if Puck was upset. When he didn't say anything, Rachel continued, "Logically I know nothing has really changed with us and that I'm completely safe with you, but I just - I can't help but worry about what would happen if we got into a fight, or if you got upset with me," Rachel paused and felt Puck's eyes on her. He was staring at her like she was crazy, but what made her lose her breath a little bit and caused her heart to skip a beat was the sheer look of love he had as he looked at her.
"First of all, we're not completely alone. We do have Pixie here," as soon as Puck mentioned her name, Pixie let out a little bark from the end of the bed, causing both Puck and Rachel to laugh before Puck continued, "and second, while I don't think I would ever be upset with you about anything, and I highly doubt that we will ever fight over something more than taking out the trash or doing the dishes, if we did I would never do anything to hurt you or make you think that I would. I care about you way too much to even think about you being scared of me." Puck kissed Rachel's forehead and rubbed her back soothingly, and for a moment she was so quiet that he thought she fell asleep.
"Thank you Noah," Rachel said quietly before kissing him softly, "You're wonderful and I love you."
…***...***...***
Puck looked at the sleeping girl in his arms before looking at the clock on the night stand. 2:05 is what it read. Rachel stirred slightly and Puck kissed her forehead before pulling her closer to him. Even in her resting state, the stress that was etched on Rachel's face was heartbreaking. He thought back to the conversation he had with his grandfather while he had Rachel packing up their things to come back home after all of the text messages she received from Jesse. Puck prayed that his grandfather really would be able to help them out.
"Pops, look. The thing is...that guy in Ohio that grandmother is always going on about how she feel sympathy for-" Puck paused for a moment and ran his hand over his head before sighing, trying to figure out the right words to say, "the thing is; that guy was Rachel's ex-boyfriend. It was her that was attacked that night. And somehow he got a hold of her brand new cell phone number and has been texting her all night. That's why she's so freaked out. He's sent her things that make us think he's watching her. I can't have Rachel scared for her life anymore than I can have her around someone who makes her feel worthless." Puck let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding and looked at his grandfather with tears in his eyes.
Jonathan nodded his head slowly, thinking about his next words, "I figured that the issue had something to do with that monster, what with the way you reacted when you saw that article and tried to change the topic as soon as Rachel walked into the room. You know I don't have the same views on the situation as your grandmother, and I want to do what I can to help you, and Rachel. I can tell how much you love her. Here's what I think your next steps should be…"
Puck was brought out of his thoughts by Rachel tossing and turning in the bed next to him. It pained him to see her like this. She had been doing so well and making so much progress and this whole Jesse incident just pushed her back months. He kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear, "Rach, babe. Wake up, you're safe." Puck ran his fingers through Rachel's hair and tried to coax her out of her nightmare before she became trapped in it."Baby, wake up. You're okay. It's just a dream."
Rachel's thrashing became worse and Puck felt his heart break a little bit more when he heard her mumbling his name, "Noah...no...Noah...Noah...no,"
Puck swallowed back tears as he pulled Rachel close to him and rocked her back and forth, whispering comforting words in her ear, "I'm right here Rach. I've got you. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, so much. I love you and I'm never going to let anyone hurt you ever. Just please wake up for me?" Puck looked over at the clock again and saw that it read 2:40am, if Rachel didn't wake up by 3:00, he would have to call Finn. Puck really didn't want to have to do that, seeing as they hadn't left things on the best of terms, but if that's what he had to do in order to help Rachel he would.
...***...***
Waking up at three in the morning to a phone call is never a good thing, or good news. So when Finn could hear the shrill of his cell phone going off on his night stand slowly bringing him out of a peaceful dream, he knew not to let it go to voicemail. Blindly he searched for the source of the sound, finally being able to answer, his voice still full of sleep. "Hello?"
"Finn? Dude wake up! I need your help!" Hearing Puck's voice on the other end of the early morning phone call was like a cold shower to Finn.
Shooting straight up in bed, Finn prepared himself for the worse. "What's going on? Where's Rachel? Is she okay?" He rambled off, the worry for his sister growing.
"She's having a nightmare. I can't get her to wake up! She's been thrashing around for over 20 minutes! Even Pixie left the room." Finn could hear the panic in his voice as his friend tried to explain what was going on.
Finn sighed, relaxing a little. "Have you tried singing to her? Something soothing of course. Whenever it happened earlier on in this whole mess, I'd sing her a lullaby and rub her back. It'd usually work; calm her down some, enough for her to fall back into a deep sleep."
"Really? A lullaby? Alright, rub her back and sing her a lullaby? Right?" Hopefulness filled Puck's voice; Finn knew Puck hated to see Rachel in any discomfort, just like him.
"Yeah dude. Be patient though, it might take a little while. Especially if she's been like that for some time. You can handle it?" Finn slowly eased himself back into the pillows on his bed. Still thinking of getting dressed to see for himself.
"I think so, I'm gonna go. See if it helps. I can call you back if it doesn't?" Puck asked in a questioning tone.
"Of course. And even if does, shoot me a text so I won't worry all night." Finn said a quick goodbye, allowing Puck to go tend to his girlfriend.
As Finn lay in bed, he thought of how things have truly changed. How much his sister has changed. She went from being stuck at home, not stepping foot close to the door, to moving to New York for a scenery change. Yet it all changed drastically as her and Puck became close, and now they lived together in a new apartment. Puck had taken over what he used to do; comforting Rachel in times of need. Finn almost resented Puck. But he let that thought drift from his head as he fell back to sleep. Because no matter what, Finn would be her big brother, which meant they would always love each other.
...***...***
Puck sighed and thought about what song he could sing to Rachel, "I could always sing Hush Little Baby, that's a lullaby, right?" Just as Puck started to sing the opening lines to the children's song, he heard a pitter patter of puppy feet come running into the room and start growling at him, "What Pixie? You don't approve of the song?" When Pixie growled and yipped at Puck, he rolled his eyes and sighed, looking down at the tiny dog. "Fine, what would you suggest oh wise one," he asked the dog sarcastically. Pixie yelped happily and ran over to the small stack of CD's Puck had brought with him. Knocking over the pile, Pixie grabbed a CD in her mouth and brought it over to Puck, wagging her tail proudly. "Nickelback...kind of douchey don't ya think Pix?"
Pixie growled and nipped at Puck's hand before jumping up on the bed and curling up to a still thrashing Rachel, trying to calm her down. Sobering up at the sight of Pixie, Puck remembered the important issue at hand, and quickly glanced at the CD case before seeing the perfect song to sing.
Well, I know the feeling
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge
And there ain't no healing
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge
I'm telling you that, it's never that bad
Take it from someone who's been where you're at
Laid out on the floor
And you're not sure you can take this anymore
Puck started rubbing Rachel's back and running his fingers through her hair as he made it to the first chorus, his voice shaking a little bit with emotion. He would never admit to Finn, ever, or Rachel, if she asked, but he was so scared that he wouldn't be able to protect her, or that he wouldn't be enough for her. As much as he tried to act like he had it together and he knew what he was doing with her, it was moments like this where he had to call Finn that proved just how out of his element he was with her.
So just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
Please let me take you
Out of the darkness and into the light
'Cause I have faith in you
That you're gonna make it through another night
Stop thinking about the easy way out
There's no need to go and blow the candle out
Because you're not done
You're far too young
And the best is yet to come
Feeling Rachel's pulse start to slow, and her movements stop, Puck finally started to relax a little bit, feeling that he was doing something right with her for once. While Puck knew that he wasn't doing anything wrong, it seemed like her panic attacks were coming more frequently and were lasting longer; and Puck knew that wasn't his fault, but he couldn't help but feel responsible because he's in love with this girl, and the thought of her being in pain or hurt makes him feel like a failure.
So just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
Well, everybody's hit the bottom
Everybody's been forgotten
When everybody's tired of being alone
Yeah, everybody's been abandoned
And left a little empty handed
So if you're out there barely hanging on...
Just give it one more try to a lullaby
And turn this up on the radio
If you can hear me now
I'm reaching out
To let you know that you're not alone
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone
So just close your eyes
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby
Your very own lullaby
At the end of the song, Puck kissed Rachel's forehead and rocked her a little bit longer, hoping that this actually did work, and that he wouldn't have to call Finn for more back up.
"Noah," Rachel whispered sleepily and buried her head into his chest a little bit, "thank you."
Puck sighed in relief and pulled her impossibly closer to his body, "Of course baby. You okay now?" He turned on the little lamp next to their bed, and picked up his phone to text Finn.
"I think so. It was so scary and so real. I could hear you talking to me, but I couldn't wake up…" Rachel trailed off and looked away from Puck in embarrassment.
Gently, Puck turned her head back to his and kissed her forehead. "Never, ever, be embarrassed. This is not your fault. Now, are you positive that you're okay? Do you want me to call Finn? I can have him come over here or bring you over there if you need him."
Rachel shook her head, "No, I'll be fine. I'm with you. You'd never let anything happen to me," she said softly before kissing him gently on the lips.
Puck smiled at her tenderly, "Of course I'd never let anything bad happen to you."
…***...***...***
Across town, Finn was sitting up anxiously awaiting news about his sister. When he heard his phone buzz, he nearly fell out of bed trying to get to it to see if there was a message from Puck.
-Rachel is fine. Asked her if she wanted me to have you come over, and she said not right now. Maybe we can stop by later today? Like, maybe late afternoon? - Puck
Finn let out a sigh of relief knowing that Rachel was okay. While he didn't doubt that Puck could help her and take care of her, Finn understood how stressful and nerve wracking it was to deal with Rachel when she was stuck in the middle of one of her nightmares. Finn sent a quick reply back to Puck before finally settling in for the night.
-Yeah, come by later. I need to apologize to her. I feel awful about the last time I saw her. Give her a hug for me. -Finn
Knowing that his sister was safe for the time being, he turned off his light and closed his eyes, trying to think of who could have given Jesse his sister's phone number
…***...***...***
"Who'd you text, Noah," Rachel asked sleepily, her head resting on her boyfriend's chest.
"Just Finn. Letting him know you were okay," Puck looked away from Rachel embarrassed, "I kind of had to call him to get advice on how to help you. I didn't know what to do, and I was a little bit scared."
Rachel kissed Puck's cheek and smiled brightly, turning his head towards her, "Thank you. It means a lot to me."
"Why don't we go back to sleep for a little while and we wake up again, I'll make us a kick ass breakfast…"
"Actually I'd like to take a crack at breakfast in the new kitchen. I mean, if you don't mind." Rachel cut off Puck.
Smirking, very proud that his girlfriend was willing to step out of his comfort zone. "Absolutely! I want you to cook in your kitchen for however long you want."
Trying to stifle her yawn, Rachel thanked her boyfriend before lying back down for some more sleep.
A/N: I can't promise a regular updating schedule, but I can promise not as long of a wait in between chapters. As for my other stories, I haven't decided what to do with them yet. As soon as I know, you'll know.