Chapter Two

A Mother's Heartbreak

Your heart began to be scorched, and there was a smell of it.

It was the end of your dream, and the start of everything…

-Moments by Ayumi Hamasaki

It was cold, when did the night become so cold? Hadn't it been warm just a little while ago? Hadn't that been why her mother suggested to her that she wear the pretty new lilac dress she had bought her? Usagi felt herself shaking in the chill, tiny bumps having formed all over her arms and bare legs. Her limbs trembled, and her feet felt like blocks of ice that carried her as they slid over the pavement. She stared at them, wondering where her sandals had gone. Had she misplaced them?

"Oh... that's right..." She whispered into the summer wind that lifted her pigtails and ruffled her bangs. "They're at Ma-Mam..." She choked on the name, tears blurring her vision of the street in front of her, until the cars were nothing but zooming blurs of light and color.

"Mamo-chan never has any proper food in his house anymore." Usagi sighed as she slammed the refrigerator door closed. "He's so busy at the hospital that he never has time to go shopping for himself." She went on, pulling the cover off of her mother's Tupperware bowl and leaning over to let the scent of those sweet, sweet cookies waft into her nostrils.

"So I—being the wonderful girlfriend that I am—try to go shopping for him. But Mamo-chan scolds me when I do; he says I buy too many sweets and not enough real food." Usagi pouted before plucking a cookie from the bowl and shoving it into her mouth which made her smile broadly as she chewed. "Ishn't dat meen 'Arooka-san?" Usagi turned with a mouthful of cookie to realize that Haruka wasn't even paying attention to her.

She swallowed. "Haruka-san what are you doing?" The young blonde questioned as her eyebrows knitted together. But the other female just kept right on ignoring her. Usagi watched as Haruka rudely opened the door to Mamoru's bedroom without knocking and frowned. "Haruka-san you're going to wake up Mamo-chan!"

She stalked over, confused but, most of all annoyed by her tall blonde soldier's behavior. It wasn't like Haruka to completely disregard her presence or—for that matter—be so inconsiderate. At least not without good reason and, Usagi couldn't seem to see one. She paused beside the woman who was looking around Mamoru's room as if searching for something and, instinctively Usagi began to look around as well.

She didn't get very far. "Hi Mamo-chan!" She called to her beloved, smiling big and giving an enthusiastic wave of her hand. "Don't mind Haruka-san, I think she's having an episode." Usagi giggled and, much to her surprise, Mamoru only managed a weak smile. His eyes fell from hers to the floor between his legs almost as soon as they had met.

Once again Usagi was baffled, and it showed upon that expressive face of hers as she watched her boyfriend. It wasn't like Mamoru to be so glum in her presence.

"What's the mat- Haruka-san what are you doing?" She called to her friend, just noticing in that moment that the handsome blonde soldier was no longer by her side; Haruka was walking slowly but purposefully toward Mamoru's bed.

Usagi looked from the woman back toward Mamoru who was just sitting there on his bed staring down at his floor. He had yet to say anything to her or, even to Haruka, who was suddenly walking through his room as if she owned the place. What was going on? Why wouldn't he look at her? Those bright blue eyes shifted back to Haruka who had stopped on the other side of Mamoru's bed to stare down at the gathering of covers there.

"Haruka-san what is all of this about?" She demanded, her aggravation clear in her usually sweet voice. But again it was like the other female was in her own little world, like she couldn't even hear Usagi.

So the young woman was left to watch as Haruka reached out a hand toward Mamoru's blue comforter, her curiosity peaked, her breath hitching as she watched her friend's hand pause in midair. Usagi's glance shifted to the woman's face, shocked to find that it's usual serenity was replaced with an expression of anxiety. Her eyes went back to Haruka's hand as it began to move again, staring as each slender digit that extended from it curled against the end of the comforter and dragged it down. But instead of giving her any sense of clarity the sight that awaited her under that blanket just confused Usagi more.

"Michiru-san?" She blinked; once, twice, again and, again as her bewilderment mounted higher and higher.

Michiru lie there, the comforter just beneath her chin, her pretty face as calm and cool as it always was as she looked at Usagi, then up at Haruka. Usagi watched the exchange between the two women, not completely understanding. It was as if Haruka was seeing Michiru for the very first time and, as if Michiru was staring right past her long time lover rebelliously.

Usagi looked at Mamoru, staring hard as the man seemed to curl into himself, his eyes tightly shut and his hands clasped between his spread knees. It was then that she began to feel it, a strange feeling the young woman could not recall ever having. A feeling of... emptiness. It was so tiny, there in the pit of her stomach, but the more she peered at Mamoru and, the longer he went without speaking, without peering back, the more that tiny emptiness began to expand.

"What's going on?" Usagi spoke, surprised to hear herself laugh as she looked from Mamoru, who kept his eyes tightly shut, to Michiru who's eyes were locked fixedly with Haruka's and back again. "Mamo-chan what's going on?" Her laugh strayed and, Mamoru opened his eyes, but still he didn't look her way.

"Yes Mamo-chan..." It was Haruka who spoke this time, her voice so icy it made Usagi's heart tremble. "What is going on?" She asked the question without ever taking her eyes off of Michiru, who stared in turn defiantly. She'd asked the question but judging by her tone it sounded as if Haruka knew exactly what was going on.

Usagi wished she would tell her. "Mamo-chan..." She took a step into the room toward Mamoru, toward her love, toward her future husband. But she could go no further, she couldn't bare to go near him and, steadily the emptiness grew toward her heart which pounded on her ribcage. "Mamo-Mamo-chan tell me what's going on."

Her voice was strained, she could hear it shaking and she wanted desperately to calm herself, to retreat back to that happy state she had been in just a few moments earlier, when everything had made sense. When it had all been all right. But she couldn't, something wouldn't let her; there was something in that room and it made Usagi feel like she could never find happiness, not ever again. What was it? What was it in that room that made Usagi feel like she was being crushed under it's weight?

'Betrayal...' The word danced through her mind and Usagi jerked her head to banish it away.

"I'll believe what you tell me." She whispered to him and, Mamoru raised his head just slightly. "Whatever you tell me I'll believe just-" Usagi's words broke as she choked back a sob, forced to watch from the corner of her eye as Michiru casually sat up, letting the comforter fall to her waist and expose her naked breasts to the air. Haruka's eyes shut tightly and she turned her head away."Just... tell me Mamo-chan." Usagi's lips quivered, her shaking hands clasping and rising toward her chest as if in prayer, as she looked upon her dearest, tears streaming from her luminescent eyes.

"Usagi I-" Mamoru began to speak, but a devastated sob that sounded from Usagi's lips caused the man to stop and turn his wide eyes toward her, not in surprise, but in realization of his mistake.

Never... Never since they had been together had Mamoru ever called Usagi, Usagi. It was just a name, just her name, but to the young woman it was so much more. It was a revelation; a sign that nothing was the same and nothing would be the same ever again. It was goodbye.

It was that moment that the emptiness overtook her, leaving her body hallow. As if that one utterance of her name had drawn her very soul from her. Mamoru stood and extended his hand to her, calling out "Usako!" but by then it was too late. Usagi already had her back on him. With a flick of those massive pigtails the young woman fled Mamoru's apartment, forgetting her bag and, over-passing her shoes as she ran faster then she had ever run in her life from that room... from that feeling... from the truth...

Beep! Her trembling body jolted with renewed life, her head whipping around to send her hair flying through the wind as Usagi hopped backwards away from a truck that had come to a screeching halt beside her. She turned her head this way and that, the adrenaline coursing through her veins making her legs shake so hard she wobbled where she stood in the middle of the street.

"Get out of the road you crazy bitch!" The driver of the truck hollered at her as Usagi staggered toward the sidewalk. She tripped over the curb and, not even trying to catch herself, crumbled to her knees on the concrete.

Her hands pushed upon the ground in front of her, her weight leaning toward them as she hung her head to let her long pigtails pool at either side of her, panting desperately to bring precious air into her lungs. But it was no use, the harder Usagi gasped the tighter her chest constricted, crushing down upon her lungs and heart. She felt as if her ribs were going to brake, as if she were going to die there on the sidewalk.

'Mamo-chan, why Mamo-chan?' Hot tears stained the gray concrete dark like raindrops, distorting Usagi's vision of that heart-shaped ring on her finger. But it didn't matter, she could no longer see what was in front of her. All the young beauty could see was the image of Michiru in Mamoru's bed and, his guilt-ridden demeanor. 'How could you?'

"How could you?" She whimpered pathetically to the ground as she craned toward it.

Her arms folded to bring her face down, her forehead pressing to the concrete that was soaked in her ocean of sorrow, prostrating herself to the night. There she cried, right there on the edge of the sidewalk. Her arms came in to form around her, hugging desperately at her torso which quavered violently with the force of her wails of anguish.

This wasn't happening, it couldn't be. Mamoru would never do something so utterly horrible to her, would never jeopardize their future together, the future of their world of...

'Chibiusa...' Usagi's head popped up from the ground, exposing her blotchy tear-stained face to the air, her glazed eyes wide with fear. "Chibiusa!"

Searching deep within, Usagi found the strength to force her quaking body up from the ground, teetering about as she fought desperately to stiffen her legs that had turned to jelly in her despair. She rocked forward, tripped, but caught herself before—once again—she began to run. Her feet pounding on the hard unwavering ground Usagi ran with everything in her, everything she could muster toward her home... toward her daughter.

'Please, please... not again.' Usagi's mind murmured frantically. "Don't take her from me!" She called into the newly warmed night air, pushing herself further as she ran even faster.

Her lungs were screaming for oxygen by the time Usagi skidded through the gate in front of her house, but the young woman hardly noticed as she threw herself through the door. It hit the wall with a thunderous bang and ominous crack that brought her mother jolting from the kitchen and, she heard Shingo give a yell of fright from the living room.

"Usagi!" Her mother shouted, her eyes livid with fearful surprise. "What the-"

But Usagi had no time for that. By the time her mother was coming down the hall Usagi had already mounted the stairs two at a time and, was flying through the upstairs hallway toward the door to Chibiusa's bedroom.

"Usagi-chan!" A disgruntled Luna wailed, forgetting herself as the desperate blonde girl nearly trampled her to death as she ran through the hallway.

But even Luna's well-being was not something Usagi could be bothered with; she had to get to Chibiusa, she had to get to the attic. She didn't know how she knew the little girl would be in there, mothers intuition perhaps, but Usagi knew that's where she would find her... if she was still there.

She wrenched open the door to the furnished attic and headed up the stairs at full speed, catching her foot at the very bottom. Damn her clumsiness! Her knee smashed against the edge of a stair, stabbing her body with a sharp immobilizing pain but, Usagi would not be stopped. Determined to get up those stairs—to get to Chibiusa—she crawled as fast as she could, dragging herself upward with surprising speed until she was sliding over the landing.

"Chibiusa!" She cried out, her heart swelling with joy as she looked to her side and saw the young girl kneeling on her bed facing her window, as she so often liked to do. She stared at the back of those pink tresses that had grown longer over the years and, Usagi's heart once again felt light as air. It was all going to be okay.

"Usagi-chan..." Chibiusa's voice quivered and it's terrorized tone made Usagi's heart constrict. "Usagi-chan... W-what's going-" The young girl couldn't finish, she turned her head around to expose her cherub face, her magenta eyes huge and glazed with tears.

Usagi gave out a scream of such deep anguish she felt as if the very gravity of the sound could shatter the universe. Chibiusa lifted her hands, which had turned to nothing but a familiar shimmering mist Usagi could stare straight through.

"Usagi what-" Luna had come up the stairs behind her but, Usagi gave the cat no notice, no time to ask questions. There was no time; in that moment, time was the enemy.

"No!" She cried and once again she forced herself off of her knees and threw her body forward toward the bed, toward Chibiusa who turned to face her, reaching out for her in dread. Luna watched in horror as Usagi fell to the floor in front of the young girl and groveled toward her, reaching out for her hand, heartbroken as her digits passed right through Chibiusa's palm.

"No it can't be!" Usagi choked on sobs as Chibiusa began to cry more hysterically. The young woman lifted herself onto her knees, ignoring the horrible pain as she threw her arms around her daughter's torso and pulled her in tightly against her chest, burying her face in the top of those beautiful strawberry scented strands. "Please no, please!" Usagi wailed as Chibiusa tried, in vein, to cling to her as more and more of her body began to fade from existence.

"I'm going to have her, I am!" Usagi threw her head back and howled to time itself, tears streaming down the sides of her face. "You can't take her! I-I'm going to-I'm going to..." But by then Usagi could not find it in herself to form words. She felt it, she felt Chibiusa slipping away from her, flowing right through her arms like water, impossible to hold onto.

"Mamma..." She heard the little girl call but the sound was so far away and, with a final tragic tear-strangled scream, Usagi was left hugging nothing but a thin blue nightgown against her chest.

She crumbled down on the bed, pressing her face hard into the mattress to sob into the quilt that lay strewn across it. Her arms stretched out, that little nightgown tangled in one as she reached out desperately, trying to grab for her beloved bubblegum haired clone. But her fingers only found that thick quilt. This wasn't happening, not again.

"Chibiusa." She whispered into the mattress. "Chibiusa!" Usagi lifted her head and shrieked at the sliver of moon that hovered outside the window before her, casting her in it's cold lonely light.

"Usagi!" Her mother gasped where she stood at the top of the stairs beside a stone-shocked Luna, rushing over to the young blonde and falling to her knees beside her. "Usagi, Honey, what's the matter?" Her mother inquired soothingly, worry etched all over her aging face and, laced in every syllable of her voice.

She put a hand to Usagi's back, rubbing it consolingly as it heaved with the force of her cries. The young woman turned to her mother, pressing in toward her to bury her face into the crook of her neck. Ikuko held onto her daughter fiercely, trying so hard to soothe her but, Usagi was inconsolable.

"Mom, oh Mom!" Usagi cried, clinging desperately to her mother who held onto her so securely. "Chibiusa, she-she's gone Mamma!" The young woman choked.

"Usagi, Sweetheart..." She cooed gently, turning her head to kiss the top of Usagi's, pushing her back just enough to gaze upon her reddened face that tears flowed endlessly over. "Who is Chibiusa?"

Usagi whimpered and, her head lulled as exhaustion and sorrow washed over her body. She fell limply against her mother, not hearing her concerned calls as Ikuko lay her daughter to the floor. All Usagi's mind could hear was Chibiusa crying out for her over and over again and, it kept the tears falling from her eyes even as she lay there unconscious on the floor of the attic. She could no longer reach her, she would never hold her again.

'Chibiusa...'

"That stupid son of a bitch!" Makoto shouted as she stormed around the stone walkway just outside the shrine. "I'll kill him, I'll fucking kill him!" The girl was absolutely livid and for once not one of the others was trying to convince her to calm down, even as she released a slew of curse words right on sacred ground. "I'll rip off his God damn testicles and force-feed them to him that stupid, stupid, stupid mother fucker!"

She fumed and stomped, taking out her frustration on the hard stone ground, unable to deal with the revelation of that day. The other girls were speechless—not one having spoken a word as they sat on Rei's porch—after Setsuna had told them Haruka's story from the previous night. Haruka had just stood there, her eyes downcast to the ground in front as if in shame, though her face was as stony as the ground it angled toward.

How could it be? The question was on everyone's mind. It couldn't be true, it just didn't make any sense. But disbelief and denial were short lived The moment the small group of girls laid eyes upon Haruka, they knew it was true. Mamoru and Michiru had betrayed them all, but most of all, had betrayed Usagi.

"And that little slut!" Makoto chimed on, her fury blinding. "I never liked her, damn stuck up bitch! Always thought she was better then us, better then Usagi; I'll-"

"Makoto." The furious brunette turned her heated green gaze on Ami, whose voice was soft as always yet held shocking command. "Please be quiet." She finished, never looking back at Makoto, her sapphire eyes locked upon Haruka who sat secluded at the very end of the porch.

Though the older woman never spoke, though her stoic expression never wavered, Ami had spotted the sad way her eyes had fallen shut when Makoto mentioned Michiru.

Makoto followed Ami's gaze to the side, understanding dawning with one look at Haruka, and her long winded rant finally ended. "Sorry." She mumbled, slightly begrudgingly but, no one could blame her. They were all thinking the same exact thing she had been screaming... as usual.

"Is this why..." Rei spoke, her voice so calm and accepting, it surprised even her. "Is this why the gate is fading?"

"The gate has completely gone." Setsuna revealed from her place leaned against one of the many beams that held the porch's roof up. "And I suspect this is exactly why."

Simultaneously every heart in the group was weighed down by a debilitating sorrow. Defeat and anxiety washed over their shoulders and it showed in the way Ami curled her knees to her chest and hugged them

And in the way Minako held a downtrodden Artemis closer to her stomach

And in the way Rei placed an elbow on a crossed knee and held her forehead in her palm

And in the way Makoto plopped straight to the ground with something like a whimper sounding from her lips.

"How can it be?" Minako whispered, sadness straining her voice.

"The future is never truly a set path." Setsuna answered simply.

"Ours was supposed to be." Rei sighed.

"Have you spoken to Usagi-chan?" Artemis inquired, his golden eyes cast up toward Setsuna, who shook her head.

"I went to call on her, but her mother wouldn't allow me to see her." She gave pause and her arms seemed to fold tighter around herself. "She said Usagi-san didn't want to see anybody, she was too distraught over the loss of who her mother assumed was a friend... 'someone named Chibiusa' she said."

Rei's head popped up, her dark eyes wide. "Chibiusa's gone?"

"Oh God." Minako gave a little sob, drawing Artemis up to bury her face in his fury head as her shoulders shook.

"Of course." Ami nodded tragically. "No gate... no future... no Chibiusa."

Makoto groaned with distraught and fell backwards, sprawling out unceremoniously on the ground. "Those bastards."

"Ssh, Minako, it'll be okay." Artemis tried to comfort the girl, his voice course with strain due to her crushing hold upon him.

"H-how will it be o-okay?" She hiccuped, lifting her head to expose her tear-streaked visage as Rei placed an understanding hand on her shoulder. "How c-can this e-ever be ok-ay?"

"We'll make it okay." Minako and the other girls turned their head, all staring toward the picturesque form of Haruka. She sat at the very edge of the porch, her feet pressed firmly to the ground, her arms draped on her knees so that her hands hung between them. She sat slouched, her proud posture forgotten, as she stared off into the distance at something the other girls couldn't see.

"We always find a way." She went on quietly. "Everything will be fine." She nodded as she finished in a near whisper that seemed more for her benefit then the benefit of the other soldiers. "Everything will be fine..."

Minako forced a sad little smile and Makoto sat up, nodding softly to herself. "Damn right it will be." She stated, though there was a falter in her usual confidence.

"Maybe this is all supposed to happen." Ami reasoned optimistically as the mood around the shrine began to lighten ever so slightly. "Maybe we were meant to set destiny right again, like when we faced Nehelania."

Artemis nodded thoughtfully as Minako stroked his twitching ears. "Yes, perhaps this is indeed just another twist in the fate of you soldiers' and your princess."

"It's entirely possible." Setsuna dragged her teeth gently over her lower lip, trying to banish the troubled expression of disbelief she could feel her features twisting into.

A gentle gust of wind brought Rei's observation away from Setsuna, guiding her eyes to the rustling leaves of the trees that danced in the breeze. The young woman sat up slowly, brushing her dark hair from her eyes that shifted down the shrine's long wide stone path. She felt something stir in the pit of her stomach.

"What is it Rei-chan?" Ami questioned, having noticed Rei's suddenly vacant stare.

"Someone's-" But she drew her words back into her mouth with a purse of her lips as the figure of Haruka disrupted her gaze toward the sky framed by the open passage at the top of the stone steps.

The elegant woman took long dedicated strides, moving more quickly then was typical for the very casual natured girl. The other soldiers watched their comrade curiously, each wondering what she was up to. All except Rei, who bore a hard stare of understanding. Midway down the walkway Haruka came to a sudden stop when the top of a head appeared on the skyline, bouncy teal tresses blowing in the wind.

If I could flow like the wind I would reach you.

If I could shine like a moon I would keep shining on you.

I'll be anything if it can stop you from being seized with fear.

-Moments by Ayumi Hamasaki

Hurrah chapter two! I've decided that I will upload a chapter every month. Sorry for making you guys wait that long but, I need the time to write the other chapters so I can keep my posting consistent.

This chapter is really angsty I know, but it's the most honest portrayal I could come up with I think. Plus it'll prepare you for all the drama that's about to come. lol I'll be honest, I wept a little while writing it.

Review please!