Sorry for the wait, I had a lot of college work to catch up on due to being ill…
And also, I found out a fascinating fact, I don't have writers block since I know what I want to write, I'm having trouble writing because I don't talk to people enough; so my brain has a hard time remembering how to structure sentences…and here I was thinking I'm going mental…so the moral to this story…talking can be a good thing…
Now enough random rambles from a bored as hell loser =w=
x
Looking out the window Shinra sighed deeply as he dried the dishes; it had been three days since Shizuo stormed out of his house in a blind rage, and three days since he had heard from the man…
He knew he shouldn't, but…he couldn't help worrying about the blonde…it would take a lot to kill him, so he was definitely alive, but…even Shizuo could get injured and right now that seemed like a high probability…
Sighing once more he threw the towel on the counter and turned, just in time to see Celty walking towards him, her shadow going haywire from stress as she typed frantically on her PDA…
'Not again…'
[I give up Shinra, I can't get him to eat anything…he even said no to fatty tuna!]
Nodding, Shinra rubbed his forehead; he was seriously running out of ideas on how to make the man eat…the past three days all he had was some water and a few mouthfuls of rice…and that was obviously not suffice for someone in his condition.
"I'll have a word with him…he isn't going to get better this way."
Walking into the room Shinra frowned, he knew Izaya was depressed by Shizuo's sudden disappearance, but it was beginning to get ridiculous now…he was going to kill himself at the rate he was going…
"Izaya I think we need to talk."
As expected he didn't get a response, the brunet just remained lying on his side unconsciously playing with his hair his eyes looking at nothing in particular.
"Izaya please, will you just look at me…" again nothing…clenching his fist, Shinra had to take a deep breath to calm himself, he couldn't lose his temper now, not when he'd come so far building up the man before him trust…so instead he walked over and knelt in front of him a gentle smile masking his face.
"Do you miss Shizuo?"
Upon hearing the name, Izaya looked at the doctor before giving a light nod to which Shinra did a mental fist pump at, one hurdle cleared.
"If I could get him to come here, would you eat something for me?"
Again another nod, this was going better than he thought it would…heck while he was on such a good role, now would be a good time to ask some pestering questions…
"Izaya tell me, do you remember who you are, or who you used to be?"
"A coward…"
That wasn't the answer he was expecting at all…he really thought he would say an informant or something…
"Why…why do you say that?" "You already know the answer Shinra…I don't need to tell you…"
Well he did have an idea, but he didn't really want to voice it in-case it upset him again…but they say the first step to recovery is acceptance…so…
"Do you feel that way because you couldn't fight them off?" a small nod was the only reply and that was all Shinra needed to continue…
"Izaya, you're not a coward…heck you're the only person I know whose brave enough to take on Shizuo! That's pretty impressive if you ask me-" "Maybe, but that didn't help me with them did it…"
"Izaya…look, what they did was horrible, but I know you're strong enough to move on from this. You have Celty and me behind you, and you also have Shizuo now…we're here to catch you when you fall, remember that…"
With that said Shinra stood and began making his way out of the room, only for Izaya's voice to stop him; "Where are you going?"
Turning back to the brunet, Shinra gave him a sheepish grin; "ah sorry, um I'm just going to try and call Shizuo again, if I can get him to answer his goddamned phone, I'll let you talk to him, sound good?"
Seeing the small nod Shinra chuckled before leaving the room and made his way down the hall, Celty rushing over to him the moment he entered the living room; [Well, how did it go? I didn't hear any shouting so…]
"It went fine, he just misses Shizuo is all…who would've thought a day would come when I'd say that huh?"
[They're getting closer…and as terrible as it is, maybe this happening was in a way for the best…if they can get on with each other, the violence in Ikebukuro will decrease immensely, after all…Izaya was responsible for 80% of it.]
"Yeah…maybe you're right, well anyway…I told him I was going to try and phone Shizuo, so wish me luck."
[Good luck.]
Sitting on his bed Shinra took a deep breath before pressing the call button next to Shizuo's number before holding the phone to his ear, it rang for what felt an eternity, but just as Shinra was about to end the call the ringing stopped and Shizuo's voice greeted him; "Hey Shinra…"
Feeling his eye twitch, Shinra was half tempted to scream at the man, but for some reason he didn't have the heart too, something about Shizuo's voice was off and it was slightly unnerving…
"Hey Shizuo…is everything okay?"
"Shinra…I've done something really bad…" Frowning, Shinra couldn't stop the image of Shizuo standing over several dead bodies from entering his mind…
After all that was a high possibility
"Look Shizuo, whoever you've "done" we can sort out okay; there are loads of things you can do to get rid of it…"
Hearing the man growl Shinra stopped talking; "I haven't killed anyone Shinra…I almost did, but then…Izaya was right all along, I am a monster…"
"What do you mean Shizuo…what happened?"
The line was silent for ages, before finally, Shizuo cracked and a loud smashing sound filled the doctor's ears…
"Shizuo…?"
"Everything is my fault…the reason Izaya's hurt is my fault…"
"Shizuo, speak up I can barely hear you…"
"Shinra, I'm the reason those guys got Izaya! I knocked him out without realising I had and…and just left him…I could have stopped them, but…I didn't…"
For the longest time, Shinra didn't know how to reply, he never thought he'd be put in the predicament he currently found himself in…he didn't want to blame Shizuo since he was a friend, but Izaya was also his friend and he was going to suffer from this for the rest of his life…then came the biggest worry…
What would Izaya do when he found out? But then again, what would he do if Shizuo just vanished without a word as to why?
"Shizuo…I think you need to come here, and just continue from where you left…I highly doubt Izaya will remember you knocking him out so just act like it never happened…he needs you Shizuo, you can't just drop him now-" "He already remembers Shinra! That day with Mairu…he said he hated me because I wasn't there…don't you see? He already knows…I'm sorry Shinra, but right now…I can't face him…"
Sighing Shinra closed his eyes; this was not going well…Shizuo could be stubborn as hell at times…
"Well, will you at least talk to him for me, tell him you've had to go away for a little while…he needs something from you to cling on to Shizuo, these last three days have been hell, for all of us. Please, just talk to him for 5 minutes…"
"Shinra, I can't…tell him I'm sorry, but this is goodbye…"
And with that the line went dead; standing Shinra threw his phone to the floor swearing loudly as he did so, he couldn't believe this…sure Shizuo had his points as to why he didn't want to, but if he really cared as much as he said he did he would've at least spoken to Izaya! two minutes, that's all it would have taken!
"Shizuo you fucking bastard…"
Sitting on his bed, Shizuo was a mess, one hand was fisting his hair, while the other held a shard of glass from his mothers now broken mirror…he was such a monster, he didn't deserve to live…he would never earn Izaya's forgiveness, it would be better for the both of them if he just disappeared…Izaya would be fine without him…
Placing the shard over his wrist he began pressing down till blood dribbled down the sides, this was it…
(dodges flying knives and rocks)
Will Shizu-chan kill himself? hmm I'm very, very tempted =w= it could make such a nice twist...
Tell me your opinions and you will find out next chapter~