Chapter Four
A Coming Storm
Your heart began to be scorched, and there was a smell of it.
It was the end of your dream, and the start of everything…
-Moments by Ayumi Hamasaki
Greegr... Haruka parted an eyelid and shifted her one-eyed gaze toward Usagi, or at least toward the top of one of her buns which protruded within vision. Usagi shifted her body meekly against Haruka's side as if embarrassed. Despite herself, Haruka gave a dull sort of chuckle.
"Are you hungry Princess?" Another very audible sound produced by Usagi's stomach was the woman's answer.
She sat up, drawing Usagi into a sitting position as well before she slipped her arm from around the younger girl's shoulders. It tingled with numbness and pained Haruka a bit as she flexed and curled her arm to will the blood to run freely through the veins under her skin. She wasn't sure how long she and Usagi had been lying in Chibiusa's old bed, because she'd dozed off shortly after Usagi had cried herself to sleep. But judging by the deep darkness they sat in she was sure it had to be well into the night.
Haruka gave a sigh of effort as she rose from the bed and stretched her arms over her head. Her back gaze a dull cracking noise as her spine curled, the sound of her bare feet carrying her through the darkness filling the room before it was cast into light. Haruka looked toward the bed to find that Usagi had laid herself back down, her body once again curled in on itself. Her head lay upon the pillow and her big blue eyes were staring straight at Haruka; she looked so much like a child, lost and hurt and, it made Haruka's heart ache and her stomach churn. How could this have happened?
"I think it'd be best if we got you some food." She ran the fingers of a hand through her hair, attempting to straighten out the messy blonde mane.
"I'm not hungr-" Usagi began, barely heard over the roar of her stomach. "I don't feel like eating." She rectified.
Haruka nodded, a thoughtful expression overtaking her face as if she were mulling over Usagi's words. "I suppose I can understand that." Haruka turned her back on Usagi to lean against the small wall that shielded the attic stairs. "But, it seems to me that if you're not willing to get out of bed for food, then I can't imagine you'd be willing to get out of bed for anything else." She went on thoughtfully and Usagi rose her head slightly from her pillow. "Like something as trivial as, oh I dunno, bathing."
"Huh?" Usagi frowned and Haruka gave a shrug of her shoulders, turning her head back toward her.
"Well, I wasn't going to bring it up..." Haruka turned to face Usagi, still leaning her side into the edge of the wall. "But, you're starting to smell a little ripe Princess." She batted her eyes innocently at the younger girl whose cheeks flushed a soft shade of pink.
"That's mean Haruka-san..." Usagi pouted, her peeved but baffled expression making it clear that she was wondering whether or not her soldier was kidding.
"Just a ploy to get you to come out to eat with me." Haruka shrugged and gave a small, crooked smile.
She was still as playful as ever but there was something downtrodden about her demeanor that told of her pain. Something Usagi, even wrapped up in her own, could see. But Haruka did not cry. She did not curl into a ball and will the world to end so that she wouldn't have to feel the aching pain in her heart. She was stronger then that, perhaps too proud for it and, a sense of admiration warmed the cold pit of Usagi's stomach. The thought of leaving that room, where the memory of her daughter was still so fresh Usagi swore she could smell the cotton candy perfume Chibiusa had loved, pained her more then anything. The thought of having to be around people who's lives still contained meaning and hope was so utterly depressing. But, despite the reluctance that weighed her body down Usagi knew that it was something she had to do and, that she'd be able to do it with Haruka's strength warming her body.
"Alright..." She finally said but, Usagi made no movement that suggested she was willing to get up.
Still, Haruka's smile brightened a bit. "That's my girl." Usagi bit her lip, feeling an odd stirring in her heart. "Wait here." She nodded as Haruka turned and headed noiselessly down the attic steps.
"Strange..." Usagi muttered to herself.
Though despair was still fresh in her being, seeming intent on draining her very life force, there was another feeling deep within her core. It was small and faint but, there was something so warm and familiar about it. She willed it to grow, to overcome the agony that gripped her heart. Yet it lay dormant.
Usagi sighed, drawing her hand from beside her chest to stare at the heart shaped ring that still circled her finger. Through the events of the night before and, that day she'd never even considered taking it off. It seemed only natural to, but the young woman found even the thought of removing it made her sick to her stomach. Taking off that ring, it was symbolic, even a girl as simpleminded as Usagi knew that. Taking off that ring meant the end of Mamoru's promise that it had sealed. It was the physical act of giving up on her dream, of all she had ever fought for, of all she had ever wanted. She just couldn't do it.
She didn't hear Haruka mounting the steps and so jolted with surprise as the tall woman approached the bed to cast her shadow over Usagi. The young blonde looked up to find Haruka watching her. Her expression was not cold and judging or, even worried; Haruka's face was soft, softer then Usagi could ever recall seeing it and, had a calm understanding. Usagi was entranced for a moment when Haruka offered her a tilted little smile. She'd never noticed—maybe because of the older woman's tendency to dress in masculine clothes or, because of Usagi's own obliviousness—but Haruka was quite beautiful. Not handsome like a rougish boy, but beautiful like a regal lady.
"Shall I dress you then Princess?" Haruka inquired with the slightest tilt of her head, her smile growing rather sly. "Or will you get up and do it yourself?"
Usagi blushed, confused until she dropped her eyes to find that Haruka held some of her clothes in her arms. Slowly, her stiff joints pained by the movement, Usagi pushed herself up into a sitting position on the bed.
"I'm sure I can manage." She answered, her tone surprisingly curt though flat with exhaustion. Still it seemed to please Haruka that Usagi could find it in herself to respond to her games.
"Good. Your room was pretty disorganized but I managed to find those in your dresser. I always thought you looked cute in that outfit."
Usagi held out the garments to examine them; a pair of black sweatpants with the hiragana for "chu" written in hot pink on the front of the right thigh, and a plain pink spaghetti strap tank top. She frowned and looked back up at Haruka.
"These are the pajamas I wore to that sleepover at Mako-chan's house."
Haruka laughed. "I'm aware, I was there for the first half of the night if you recall. But, thankfully I left before Rei and Minako started their little popcorn battle that turned into an all out snack-war in Makoto's kitchen." She lifted a finger to scratch the bridge of her nose. "At least they had the decency to clean the mess themselves."
"You think I look cute in these?" Usagi drew the conversation back, eying the outfit in her hands with a most skeptical look.
Her uncertainty made Haruka smile. "You look cute in everything Princess." She offered Usagi a wink, prompting the young girl to blush.
"You're such a flirt Haruka-san..." Haruka laughed and nodded.
"Get changed, I'll be waiting downstairs." She turned and headed for the stairs, offering a lazy backwards wave.
"Haruka-san!" Usagi called and Haruka paused at the top of the staircase. "Did you mean what you said earlier? I mean..." She faltered and the red of her cheeks intensified. "Do I really smell?"
"Oh, that reminds me." Haruka waved one finger to the sky as her free hand went into the back pocket of her jeans. She withdrew a stick of deodorant, which she tossed in Usagi's direction. Usagi fumbled, managing to catch the deodorant but, dropped her clothes in the process. Haruka flashed one of her broad, handsome grins when Usagi's face turned a feverish red.
"I take it back Haruka-san." Usagi pouted as her cocky blonde soldier made her way down the stairs. "You're a butthead!" She heard the woman laugh and close the attic door behind her.
"This place has really great western food like burgers and fries and stuff." Haruka offered, a modest amount of enthusiasm laced into her familiarly casual tone. "Best part about them is they're open all night."
Usagi eyed the small roadside diner they had parked in front of with mild interest. Even the prospect of free food—something that would have normally had the vivacious blonde bouncing around her seat—wasn't enough to entice excitement out of or, even inside her.
But, if Haruka was discouraged it didn't show. She exited the car in that swift, easy motion she was most accustomed to and, moved around to the sidewalk to open Usagi's door. The young blonde looked up at her soldier, perplexed at the dignified expression Haruka bore. A hand rested upon the door, Haruka drew her other up and offered it out to Usagi with the slightest tilt of her head.
"My lady?" The wind tamer spoke elegantly and, Usagi couldn't help but blush at the smooth smirk that made Haruka's eyes dazzle.
Her lips twitched with a smile that never really came and, Usagi took Haruka's hand, allowing the older woman to assist her out of the car. Haruka's touch was warm, her palm slender and, her fingers surprisingly long. Usagi had never noticed before—perhaps because Haruka had never held her by the hand—and she quietly marveled at the perfect balance of masculinity and femininity in that hand.
She looked up to find Haruka staring at her calmly and, Usagi realized she had been standing there on the sidewalk just holding her soldier's hand. Her blush grew brighter and she uncoiled her digits and dropped her hand timidly to her side.
"Sorry, I feel all spacey." Usagi forced a laughed and, Haruka nodded, her expression thoughtful, almost sad. It made Usagi's heart ache but, she didn't know why.
There was so much sadness inside her, so much hopelessness that she couldn't properly sort her emotions, let alone her thoughts. She felt anxious, like the air she drew into her lungs was instead spreading around them and crushing them. She didn't want to be there, she didn't want to be outside, she didn't even want to be alive.
The warmth of Haruka's hand touched her cheek and, Usagi started. "Princess..." Her voice was quiet as she brushed away the tear that had fallen from Usagi's eye without her knowledge. Usagi bit her lip and sniffed pathetically as Haruka's hand moved down and found hers once again. "It's nice to hold hands, isn't it?"
Their fingers intertwined and, the crushing weight on Usagi's chest lifted just enough to allow her to take a long shaky breath. Haruka looked upon her, her eyes not judging, their blue depths strong and serene. How was she so strong? 'Why am I so weak.' The thought traveled through Usagi's mind as she squeezed her soldier's hand tightly for support. Haruka smiled just slightly and, Usagi fought to give one of her own as she nodded.
"Yes, I like it very much." She couldn't manage more then a whisper but, Haruka didn't seem to mind and, proudly led her into the diner.
They were greeted by an oddly chipper waitress—considering it was almost three o'clock in the morning—behind a long metal counter lined with blue stools, who waved her hand out to gesture them into any seat they wanted.
"I'll be right with you!" She beamed and, Haruka nodded politely but, Usagi kept her eyes downcast. In her current state of mind she found the waitress' disposition depressing and just a little bit irritating. What could there possibly be to be so happy about?
They made their way to a table in the far corner of the very small diner and, Usagi ushered herself into the window seat. But rather then relinquish Haruka's hand to allow the woman to sit on the other side of the table, she maintained a firm grasp. Haruka didn't question or protest; she slid casually into the booth, right beside Usagi, as if it were normal habit for them to remain so close.
"Do you know what you want?" Haruka questioned over the grumble of Usagi's stomach. She seemed completely undeterred over the fact that Usagi sat beside her, an arm laced in hers to cling on her like a small child would.
Usagi was embarrassed but, she couldn't help it. For some reason holding onto Haruka—being close to her—it made Usagi feel more at peace. The sorrow was still there, bubbling in the pit of her stomach to prompt nausea in her throat. But with Haruka there it was bearable. The older woman's easygoing demeanor was contagious, at least enough that Usagi could stand to face the prospect of the unclear future ahead of her. Or at the very least just not think about it.
"Um, a burger with the works... extra pickle." Usagi nodded. "A lot of pickle." She confirmed and Haruka smirked. "A strawberry milkshake, maybe some apple pie? You think they have it? Maybe with ice cream? That'd be really good." Usagi licked her lips absentmindedly.
Haruka laughed. "So much for not being hungry huh?" She offered the younger girl a teasing nudge and, Usagi smiled a little despite herself.
"I guess I was little hungry." Haruka lifted a finger and tapped the tip of Usagi's nose playfully.
"See, I know how to take care of you Princess." She smiled affectionately as Usagi's face tinged a soft pink. "Just leave it to me."
Usagi felt her heart flutter, Haruka was so good to her, so supportive. She was a true guardian if ever there was one. Usagi was so grateful to have her in that moment, she felt like she was going to cry.
"Well you two are about the cutest couple I've ever seen!" The cheerful waitress interrupted Usagi's thoughts, breaking her stare away from Haruka's abysmal eyes. She was an older woman with graying black hair, twinkling brown eyes and a short, plump stature. "What a lucky girl you are to have such a handsome boyfriend." She said to Usagi and, Haruka chuckled. She hadn't taken her jacket off so, as usual she had been mistaken for a boy. "You're a wonderful match! You compliment each other so well." She gushed and Haruka pursed her lips in an awkward sort of smile.
"Haruka-san is a girl." Usagi stated firmly and, without much tact. Haruka looked toward her with raised eyebrows, a lazy sort of surprise on her face and, the waitress went completely crimson. "I mean, she'-she's not my boyfriend of course." Even as she said it, she absentmindedly hugged Haruka's arm harder.
"No of course not." The waitress laughed uncomfortably. "W-what can I get the two of you?"
Haruka smiled quite comfortably. "Two burgers with the works; extra, extra pickle. Maybe some on the side." She cocked her head and gave a wink Usagi's way. The young girl blushed harder, both at the suggestiveness of their predicament (she knew exactly what the waitress was thinking!) and, knowing good and well that Haruka was probably thoroughly amused and enjoying herself "Also two strawberry milkshakes and, two slices of apple pie. With vanilla ice cream if you have it."
The waitress nodded repeatedly, jotting the order down feverishly on her little notepad. She was clearly very flustered. "Alright, be right with you." She quickly made her exit.
"That was quite smooth kitten." Haruka commented offhandedly and Usagi pouted.
"Well I was just trying to stick up for you. Doesn't it bother you when people mistake you for a boy?"
Haruka shrugged. "Not really."
"Well regardless." Usagi huffed and leaned herself comfortably against Haruka. "Now she thinks we're lesbians."
"I am a lesbian Princess." Haruka blinked slowly.
"I-I didn't mean there was anything wrong with being a—with liking g-girls or anything just-well, I'm..." Haruka's lips cocked into a crooked grin that made Usagi pout. "You're teasing me again?"
Haruka chuckled. "It's just so much fun."
Usagi's pout deepened. "You really are very mean Haruka-san."
"Am I?"
"Yes." Usagi replied indefinitely as she turned her head pointedly toward the window. She watched the first few raindrops of a coming storm hit the pane. "But, I like you the way you are."
Haruka stared dumbfounded at Usagi, grateful that she didn't take notice of the uncharacteristically bashful red color of Haruka's cheeks as she watched the building rain slide down the window.
The waitress was grateful that neither of them noticed the way she stopped in front of their table, turned around swiftly to walk back in the other direction to gather herself and came back to present them with their milkshakes and a completely accepting smile. Neither Usagi nor Haruka understood the significance of it but, Haruka smiled back regardless as Usagi crinkled her nose in question.
The drizzle of the the water that slipped from the carved vases of the fountain, trailing to trickle to it's base like little rivers was calming. She'd always found that, no matter what sort of trouble she had to worry her mind, she could always go there and always she would feel so lighthearted. That rose garden, with it's lovely fountain where porcelain cherubs brandished their jugs of water, offering their nectar of life to the pool whose edge she sat upon. It was the most beautiful place in all of the Moon Kingdom.
"You come here often Sailor Jupiter." She jerked around in surprise, turning her head to find the image of a petite yet voluptuous young woman before her. Her hair was a strikingly vibrant shade of maroon that danced with charming copper highlights. It framed her round face and, ran sleek and straight all the way down to her generously curved hips. "Forgive me." She tilted her head in a bow, casting her haunting golden eyes behind the veil of the bangs that hid her forehead.
"No, there's no need." Jupiter smiled warmly at the beautiful girl, her eyes trailing down. She wore the white fitted robe-dress of the palace servants, yet she did not share their timid demeanor. Her figure was strong and feminine, her gleaming eyes wise and thoughtful. "I was just admiring the beauty of the fountain, it's one of my favorite spots." Her eyes met the other girl's once more, finding that she stared at her with such an intensity that Jupiter's face grew warm under the gaze.
"It is a beautiful spot." She nodded and her bare feet carried her across the smooth marble rocks that lead a pathway to and around the fountain. "The smell of the roses puts ones mind at peace." She stood beside where Jupiter sat on the fountain's edge, maintaining a respectful distance.
Jupiter beamed. "Exactly! I showed Mars this place once and she found it boring. Venus couldn't sit still and Mercury was just sitting there to be polite I know it." Jupiter pouted as she babbled. "Even her Highness Princess Serenity wasn't interested."
The crimson haired woman giggled and, Jupiter blushed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ramble." The woman tilted her head so that the delicate strands of her hair slipped across her olive toned cheek.
"I don't mind." She grinned and Jupiter returned the easy expression despite her embarrassment. "It is nice of you to want to share such a special spot with someone." She looked back toward the fountain, gazing longingly into the face of one of the little angels. "Perhaps I could sit here with you one day." It was the woman who blushed this time.
"I wouldn't mind." Jupiter replied evenly. The woman looked upon her, her pretty yellow eyes wide with shock. They softened and, she smiled again at Jupiter; so softly, so serenely that for a minute Jupiter was in awe. In that moment, she would have sworn that one of the angels from the fountain had come to life and, stood before her. "Who are you?"
The woman dragged pearly teeth across her rosy lower lip. "My name is-"
Makoto's eyes fluttered open to stare at the ceiling that loomed over her head. There had been no loud noise, no disturbance of any kind to draw her from her slumber. Yet there she lay in her bed, the dream she had experienced fresh in her mind, more like it was a memory. But it couldn't be. That woman in her dream, that pretty face, that shocking hair, that had been...
"Despo." She whispered the name of her favored idol and her heart warmed.
She had fallen asleep with her headphones still stuck in her ears, listening to that same song she had sang the night before on repeat. That was probably why she had dreamed about the singer. But Makoto could only quietly wonder why the dream had taken place in the time of the Silver Millennium.
'It's probably because of all that's been happening; with the other soldiers, with poor Usagi-chan.' She thought somberly as she sat up in bed. She pulled her headphones from her ears and placed her Ipod—which had died sometime during the night—on the nightstand beside her bed.
She felt a familiar static building in her body and, Makoto looked toward her window just as thunder boomed in the distance as if to greet her presence back into the waking world. It rained lightly, she knew the storm would soon pass but, it drew her from her bed regardless. Forgetting the satin slippers that always awaited her at her bedside, she padded barefoot over to the window to watch the darkened sky. A pale lightening lit the vast abyss above her and Makoto touched a hand to her heart as it beat erratically against her ribcage, the other pressed against the glass.
"Strange." She whispered to the night, suddenly feeling short of breath. Without explanation her insides began to quiver with a strange anxiety. It was incredibly unsettling and uncomfortable but, there was also a yearning that mingled with it. "Something..." She clutched her fist against her chest.
"My name is..." The words danced through Makoto's mind again and, she shut her eyes tightly, desperately trying to remember. She knew the name, she'd heard it in her dream, she knew she had. She'd heard it somewhere before. Somewhere. Some time—A time long ago.
Her green eyes popped open. "Something's coming."
She drew her hand back, finding that it left an imprint in the faint fog that had covered her window. Makoto stared for a minute and the fog thickened ever so slightly. Of it's own accord her hand came back up and, a finger extended to drag along the smoothness of the glass. It drew a circle then, looping from the circle's center to the outside of it's perimeter she drew another. Then another, and another. Six circles around, one in the middle. 'It looks like a flower.' Makoto thought as the fog reformed and began to overtake the strange symbol.
She didn't know what it meant, no more then she understood the feelings that raged inside her like a violent storm. But Makoto knew it meant something, something to do with whatever it was that made it's way toward her. Good or bad, she could not say. It felt like a mixture of both.
And it scared her.
If I could flow like the wind I would reach you.
If I could shine like a moon I would keep shining on you.
I'll be anything if it can stop you from being seized with fear.
-Moments by Ayumi Hamasaki
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! Okay so it's not Christmas... but I won't be posting again until after the Holidays so I wanted to send you all my greetings. It means so much to me that you are all enjoying this fic, which I am so proud of and dedicated to. It's like you're all banning together and giving me my Christmas present early. C:
Now some of you might be confused about the last part of this chapter; Jupiter isn't the senshi known for having premonitions after all. But, those who have read the manga might remember that she can often sense things in the behavior of the weather. That's all I can say without spoiling things for you though so just be patient and all your questions will be answered in the remaining chapters.
Don't forget to tell me what you think! I love to hear from you guys so REVIEW PLEASE!