The fire was almost burned down completely, but the slowly upcoming cold not mind her. The cold from her inside was the only one she could feel. She took the last letter from her desk, she had not yet read.

Cassandra had dropped it off recently, probably as an excuse to see how she's doing. Although the seeker gave her always a smile, she was bad at hiding her true feelings.

She cared about her and if Solas would ever get into her hands, he was getting worse than Varric,after Cassandra has placed him for Hawke in the tavern for a talk.

On the wax seal of the letter she could see a nightingale, so he came from Leliana. Despite her duty as the new Divine she helped Inquisition whenever she could, which earned her not only goodwill.

She opened the letter and began to read.

Inquisitor

Unfortunately my spies still failed to find a trace of Solas. But I have them tasked to continue to search for him and to go after hints , even if they are entrusted with other missions.

We'll find him and everything will change for the good.

Maker bless you.

Divine Victoria

In addition to this rather impersonal note, another letter was still in the envelope.

Ellana,

it is now three weeks since our victory over Corypheus and Solas disappearance. You take care about the closure of discovered rifts, but as Cassandra describes it, without regard to lose your life.

She worries, just like the rest of us. She will yet accompany you everywhere, just to make sure nothing happens to you. It may be that she already watchs over you like a mother hen, but slowly I can understand if you do not want that my spies do likewise. Then try not to be killed. If I find Solas only to have to tell him you were dead, it would kill him.

He must have had a reason, otherwise he would never leave you in such a way. Believe me, for this he loves you too much.

I will as soon as I can come to Skyhold. Please do not make Cassandra and the other even more worried. We love you all and could not bear to lose you.

What should Dorian do without you, when he comes back from Tevinter?

Leliana

Ellana put the letter away. It could be that she lately haven't cared very good for herself, but she felt empty inside. Something in her is broken and could not be repaired so easily.

Yes, the others were worried, especially Cassandra. At Cullen and Josephine she saw it at every meeting. Vivienne was gone and that Leliana disbanded the circle has been a big problem for her.

Varric and Dorian were both traveled to their families for a time, the bull and his guys completed every mission of the Inquisition that give them the promise of a good fight along with Blackwall.

Sera tried with their typical way of cheer her up and from Cole, Ellana tried to stay away.

He might be more human now, but the spirit of compassion felt her pain, her grief and despair, and she wanted to spare him.

She ran her fingers over the place where once had been her Vallaslin. Sometimes it seemed to her as if she could still feel his hands and the tingle of magic when he removed it.

Tiredness became apparent, but she did not want to sleep. She would just again try to find a trace of him in the fade. Since he was gone she had visited any place in the fade in which they were together, or that she believed he might be. But it has brought all nothing, in the end she was in the glade with the waterfall, where he had ended it.

It did not help, she had to sleep. When Cassandra should note that she also still sleep too little, she would chain Ellana in Skyhold, in order that her nothing happens.

She lay in her bed, trying not to think of Solas, which of course did not succeed. Again she saw his face, heard him say how beautiful she was. When he had the Vallaslin removed, felt his lips on hers, the next he was gone.

He had withdrawn from her then, leaving her despite her pleas not to do it, not even said farewell to her. He had not noticed it as she had collapsed after he had left her alone in the glade that she had sat and cried half the night on the rock.

At the thought of the night tears came again. So much had happened since she was sent to the conclave. There were moments in which she wished someone else would have gone in her place from her clan.

In this moments, she missed her clan most and wished she would still be there. But she knew there was no going back to her old life. There she could not be happy and hide from her responsibilities as Inquisitor was out of the question.

Everything would just be so much easier if she wouldn't feel this pain. She felt empty, as if a part of her would have disappeared with him.

Even the voice of the well was only rarely for her to hear. If she was honest with herself, she has weakened in the last weeks, whether physical or magical.

Yes, even the closing of rifts using the anchor was harder and harder for her.

Her whole being responded to the loss of Solas. It was only a matter of time before she would be unable to carry her duties, if it went so on.

"Cole, how is she?" Cassandra looked at the young man beside her worriedly.

"She suffers. The loss still hurts, the question of why employed her a lot. She remembers his words and touches, just can not understand why he's gone. " He looks at Ellanas chambers while he speaks.

"We will have to give her time, she'll get better. At the latest when Dorian comes back, what will hopefully soon be the case. "

"You are mistaken, Seeker. Did you not notice? She will be weaker, a part of her is gone and without Solas he will not return. I warned him at that time ... maybe it was wrong to help. "

Cassandra looked at him in shock. "What do you mean that she will be weaker? And why you warned Solas? Cole, what you've done! "

Now she was angry to restrain her temper had never been something that Cassandra mastered.

"While I was still able at that time, I helped the two, after their night together. I let them forget. If I had not done it Solas would already at that time disappeared. "

Cole looked to the ground and kicked a stone away at his feet.

"Will you mean to tell me that you let them both forgotten that they have slept together? Just because Solas seems so much to regret it that he wanted to run away? Andraste when I see these pointy eared bastard again, I kill him. "

Cassandra screamed and slammed the training dummy beside her to give vent to her rage.

"Seeker, he loves her more than his life. I have felt it, he did not want to leave her side. But in Solas there is much grief and regret, he wanted to do something good again, what he has done long ago. But I can't tell you what. Ellana told me that Solas has manipulated my memories after he is gone so I can not find him. Unfortunately I can not say exactly what happened that night when I let them forgotten. And before you ask, I can't return the memory to Ellana. It probably would hurt her even more. I'm sorry. "

Uncertainty and a hint of sadness came from Coles words. He really cared about Ellana. Not only because he was once a spirit of compassion, but because he was afraid for his friend. She had helped him to be more human and was always there for him. The feeling that he couldn't help her scared him.

"Cole, it's not your fault. I did not mean to yell at you. So we actually have to hope that Solas returns or we find him to make Ellana get stronger. But what happens when he leaves again or he refuse to explain what's going on? Will she can handle another disappointment? "

Cassandra sank on a tree stump and held her head.

"This question I can not answer you." Cole looked saddened to Cassandra.

Ellana was asleep and as expected she stood in the fade in the clearing. She looked around briefly, but he was not here. Her hope dies with each time more.

She sat down on the rock and watched the lake which was filled by the waterfall.

"Solas where are you..." A sob came from Ellana at these words. She began to cry. It was too much, that she was repeatedly confronted with her loss. Slowly she felt as if her body would shatter at any moment. Too much responsibility, too many expectations weighed on her.

Suddenly she felt something on her leg when she looked up she saw a huge gray wolf standing beside her. He looked at her curiously and nudged her with his head and lay down next to her on the ground.

"Hey, you're again here." Ellana put a hand on the head of a wolf, he whimpered softly.

"It's nice not to be completely alone here. I liked this place from the first moment, but unfortunately I associate with him not so beautiful memories. Here I have lost someone who is very important to me. " The wolf lifted his head and looked at her inquiringly.

Ellana had to laugh at the sight at a time.

"I'm stories about Fen'harel from the Dalish came in my mind at the sight of you. Probably most of us would run away from you in fear, because they think you would be him and he would come to get them. It's strange that my people are so afraid of him, but at the same time sometimes worship him for help.

I wonder how he really was. Abelas told us at the well that Mythals murder had nothing to do with Fen'harel and Flemeth mentioned that Mythal, like herself, was betrayed.

My people really seem to know very little about our culture, our false belief about the Vallaslin is a sad example.

Forgive, you ask yourself sure what nonsense I'm talking. I wish you would answer me, and tell me your story. "

She was stroking his fur, suddenly his hair stood on end and he began to growl.

"Quiet, my dear, it's only me. Do not worry, I will not harm your little elven friend. I would not hurt my own servants, for such a monster could only hold me Morrigan. " Ellana recognized the mocking voice.

"Flemeth, or should I say Mythal? What do you want from me, why do you appear suddenly in my dreams?"

"Oh don't look so defiant at me child. My daughter tells you absolutely nothing good about me and what name you choose for me, I honestly don't care. Whether I appear to you as the voice in your head or in the fade is the same thing. I'm only here to see why you'll weaker, although your power should be grown because of the well. "

Flemeth stood there and looked into Ellanas eyes. The wolf urging between the two, he would not have Flemeth near to her.

"So much mistrust everywhere, your secret I will not tell her. I'll leave that to you wolf. And now to you, my child. "

Flemeths eyes begin to glow and she touched Ellanas arm. Ellana gasped and dropped to her knees. The wolf growled again and hurried to her.

"Silly child, you have lost some part of your self to this man. Did have so much confidence in him that you thought he would stay with you forever. If you do not get back this part of you, you will one day be so weak that you die. And believe me, you do not want this for his sake. "

Flemeth let go of her arm and turned away to go.

"What do you mean? He's gone! Why should he care if I die. We mortals are not your toys. Morrigan was right, you enjoy in the suffering of others. "Ellana was angry and yelled at Flemeth.

"Think how you speak to me, or I might only look when the time comes, and your lover Solas dies and will not tell you how you can save him."

At these words any color escaped Ellanas face. She was pale and began to tremble.

"Why should he die, how would I be able to change anything?" Her voice was shaky, her legs weakened and she went to her knees. The wolf lay down beside her, so that she could lean on him.

"Do you think he would have no past? His attempt to make earlier wrongs good will have an impact. In the worst case, his dead and he would accept, if it's worth out of his sight. The day will come when you will have the choice to save him, or will be the reason why he dies.

Because what you do not know, is, that you were just so betrayed and lied to by the man you love, as it happened to us both once. " In this last sentence was so much bitterness and hatred that it sent a shiver down Ellanas spine.

Before she could say anything, the shape of Flemeth / Mythal was gone and she was again alone with the giant wolf. Fresh tears ran down her face. She was confused and desperate. When it was all true what she heard, she would die if she did not find Solas. But she could also be responsible for his death.

A part of her wanted to simply lose in the fade, that he should have betrayed her and lied to her hurt more than anything else. Therefore was her uncertainty of whether that was really between them, only the greater. Maybe she was only a pastime for him. She knew how much he was hoping to get the foci from Corypheus back and how disappointed he was by its destruction.

Maybe he had indeed only used her to get the foci back. And after the destruction she had no use for him.

More and more tears burned on her face. The sobbing made sure that her whole body shook and she could hardly breathe. Ellana clawed into the fur of the wolf and wept uncontrollably.

"Why can't this nightmare not simply end? Why did I survive all that happen, only to lose the one person I ever wanted?"