Chapter 31 MERLIN'S BLOODY LEFT BUTTOCK!

I'll be the angel by your side, I will get you through the night-I'll be the strength you can't provide on your own-and when you're down and out of time, when you think you've lost the fight-I'll be the angel by your side -Francesca Battistelli "Angel By Your Side"

Three Months Later-May, 1980

"Sirius!" I yelled, lifting my head so my voice would carry, out through the nursery and to the kitchen, where he and James were. Harry kicked out in protest, like he was telling me to calm down. "Would you bring me the newspaper, please?" I quieted my voice down, setting down The Tales of Beedle the Bard, of which I was reading to Harry. I was seven months along now, and my baby bump was getting quite substantial. Sirius elicited no response, so I tried calling for James-also no response. Maybe they couldn't hear me. "How are you doing in there, Harry? Nice and comfy in your little sac?" I cradled my stomach, and Harry kicked gently, pressing against my hands. I could almost imagine him talking back. Yes Momma, and I'm so excited to come and meet you and Daddy.

"And we're so excited to meet you," I murmured back, running my hands gently over my stomach. "And so are grandma and grandpa, both of them. You've got an aunt and uncle, but they're right gits, you know that? It's my sister, and my sister's husband.

"And you'll have a cousin too, I suppose-Auntie Petunia's pregnant, and she's a month further along than me. They don't talk to us much-actually, none at all, if they can help it," I laughed quietly. "They don't like magic, or any type of abnormality, really," I chuckled. "But that's alright, you won't have to stand for any of their nonsense, because we won't be visiting them much, I suspect. You won't have to grow up with them, or anything drastic like that. Not if James and I have anything to say about it," I promised. Sirius came busting into the nursery at that moment, face drawn and pale.

"Lily," he gasped, not a hint of humour in his flashing eyes. He held the newspaper grasped in one hand, and walked forward to me slowly, like he was bearing news of death. He stepped over the piles of baby clothes that both James's and my parents had already sent to us, and made his way to my chair. James was right behind him in the doorway, but I couldn't see his face.

"Sirius, what's wrong?" I asked wearily. He handed me The Daily Prophet wordlessly, tears in his eyes. I had never seen him even close to crying-something was terribly wrong. James strode forward, tears falling openly on his face, shoulders shaking. He helped me up, and I embraced him around Harry.

"James, what's happened?" I asked softly, dread growing in my stomach.

"It's the Death Eaters, Lily," Sirius said hoarsely as Harry kicked out gently, like he was trying to reassure me. James put his hands on my stomach, shoulders wracking with sobs.

The blood drained out of my face as I read the headline-Death Eaters strike again in Muggle Community-I quickly scanned the article, and almost choked-

"This morning, a vicious Death Eater attack ensued mass panic in the town of Cokeworth, England. Aurors and ex-aurors rushed to the scene, only to be met with blood and violence. In the struggle following, four ex-aurors and one current auror have been killed, along with several inhabitants of Cokeworth, including a Mr. and Mrs. Evans, parents of...

"Both of our parents are gone," James said in a dead voice. I continued scanning the newspaper, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"This can't be real," I said in a hard voice. "It didn't happen." I threw the newspaper down, and folded my arms, walking over to the window and looking out.

"Lily," James said softly, coming up behind me.

"No!" I yelled, a fresh wave of tears spilling over. "They're not dead! Our parents are not dead, James Potter!" I rushed to the living room, sat down on the couch, and began to cry. My heart felt like it was being torn in two, than three, than completely shredded up and thrown to the dogs. My parents-my fiercely protective father who taught me how to ride a bike, my mother, who had her uncanny ability for reading my mind, knowing exactly what was wrong, and exactly what to say to make it feel better-I closed my eyes and pictured them, arms wrapping around myself as I sobbed. I stood back up to go to James, realizing that I needed him now more than ever. He was already there, taking me into his arms, crying with me.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I-I-I didn't mean to yell at you," my breath caught in my throat, and another wave of despair crashed over me. I buried my face on James's shoulder, trying to hide from the world. We sat on the couch, just existing-not moving, just crying, and thinking-and then, even the crying stopped, and we sat there, eyes unseeing, arms still around each other. I leaned into James, and he held me against his side. We had our hands over Harry, ready to jump up and defend him, and each other, at any sudden noise. A part of my soul was gone-we were both orphans, we had lost the people who'd raised us.

"Lily? James?" The fireplace in front of us glowed green, and out tumbled Remus Lupin. He was holding a pan of cookies, and I looked up miserably to meet him. James muttered something incomprehensible, and cleared his throat to try again.

"Hey, Remus," he said hoarsely, and I nodded gravely.

"I'm so sorry," he said, kneeling in front of us. "I know this won't help, but I brought food. The Order knows what happened, I suspect you'll be getting more visitors. This must be horrible for you," he whispered, eyes sad.

"Thanks, Moony," James said, attempting a brave smile. "Come on, love. We can't sit on the couch and cry forever." I let James pull me up without protest, not releasing his hand once we stood. The fireplace flashed green again and Alice and Frank appeared, hugging James, and then me, crying. They too had brought food-muffins. In fact, hours later, we had practically the whole Order in our tiny house, sitting in the kitchen and living room-they hadn't wanted us to be alone, which was sweet, and James and I were glad of it, but they'd all brought bloody food-did they think that would make it better? The last thing we wanted to do at a time like this was eat stupid nachos and dumb chocolate covered strawberries.

"We're going to get through this, together," James murmured into my hair as we sat on the bed, door open to allow the conversations float through.

"I know," I sniffled, holding onto him like he was my life preserver. "James?"

"Yes?"

"I love you so much. I don't know how I'd get through this without you."

"I love you too, and you and Harry are my world."

"Harry will never get to see his grandparents," I whispered.

"I know. But they're up in heaven now, looking down at us. Now they're with us all the time. In our hearts," he said, kissing the top of my head as I drew my legs up around my stomach. "It hurts now, but it won't forever."

"D'you think...did they feel it?" I whispered, slightly scared.

"I don't," James shook his head, and I took his hands, entwining his fingers with mine. We had the light off, but the kitchen light was spilling onto the floor. "Lily, it's not painful at all to die, I know it...it's only painful for the ones they left behind." I kissed his cheek, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes.

"I keep thinking that I've always got that back option in my mind," I whispered. "To call them if I need something, or visit them. And now it's not there anymore, and I have to catch myself."

"I know, love," James agreed. "But you've got me, and I've got you. We're together, and Harry's healthy, and that's what matters. They're in a better place."

"They are," I nodded, taking a shuddering intake of breath, trying to smile bravely up at him. "Let's be brave, and be happy for them. I don't like being sad." I took his hand and we stood up, wrapping our arms around each other, going out to re-meet all of our visitors together. And eat a few chocolate covered strawberries, maybe.

One Month Later-June, 1980

"I can't stand the sight of that," I groaned, plugging my nose and averting my eyes from the sausages. "Oh, James, I really don't think Harry likes that!"

"Funny how Harry's taste buds override your own," he chuckled, whisking the pan away.

"Yes, hilarious. I can't even look at a piece of cheese...I haven't eaten chocolate in eight months," I groaned. "Harry like rutabaga, of all things, James! Rutabaga!"

"I know, darling. That's why we've got seven bags of it in the pantry," he laughed, sliding a plate of eggs in front of me. I had to have the chair pushed back a fair amount from the table-from what my stomach was implying, Harry was a huge baby. It would take me weeks to lose the weight I'd gained.

"I'm going to be so fat," I cried. "And my mum's not going to be here to tell me to get over it!" I half-laughed, half cried.

"Oh, Lily," James laughed, bending over to kiss me, and wrap his arms around me.

"James, I really think I'd go insane without you right now," I said very seriously.

"Well, you also wouldn't be pregnant without me right now," he pointed out, taking my hands.

"True," I said. "And I've got yoga in an hour, remember." I shook my red ponytail over my back. "I love the nursery," I said randomly, grinning.

"Harry's going to love it too, I know it," James said softly.

"Oh! That reminds me!" I snapped my fingers. "Harry James. Harry James Potter. D'you like it?" I asked shyly.

"Really? You want to name Harry after me?" A slow grin spread across James's face.

"I do," I nodded, smiling back-I couldn't help it, his grin was infectious. He let out a whoop and hugged me tighter to him.

"I love that name," he said gleefully. "And Harry's going to be a Quidditch player as well, and remember that one time in sixth year when I told you my love for redheads was so deep that he would fall for a redhead too? That's most certainly going to happen-"

"James, James!" I laughed, holding up my hands. "Are you going to plan his whole life out for him?"

"Maybe," he smiled sheepishly, pulling his chair closer to mine. "Isn't that what babies are for? I told you all those years that you were going to bear my children, Flower, you never believed me."

I rolled my eyes. "You were right, then. Are you happy?"

"Yes," he kissed me. "Remember the first time? In first year, was it?" I had to think about that for a few minutes before the memories flooded in, coming in just as clear as if they had happened yesterday. "That was the time you made me get my first detention!" I shuddered. "It was in the library..."

Flashback to First Year

"Hide!" I whispered fiercely, grasping Severus's sleeve and pulling him behind the bookcase.

"Are they coming?" Sevvy crouched beside me, looking slightly alarmed.

"James Potter!" I hissed with contempt. "And Sirius Black think they are the kings of this school! They're right over there, look." I pointed with disgust and Severus followed my gaze, peering between the books at Potter and Black, who were swaggering around and looking for us, talking loudly, causing Madame Pince to glare at them pointedly.

"They're so mean," Severus said with contempt, black hair swinging.

"They're terrible buttheads!" I cried, immediately clamping my hand over my mouth. We looked at each other, wide eyed, and continued creeping around the "M" section-"Maverick Mluffer and his Journey to Atlantis," and "Marloney Sembleton on Unicorns, Kneazles, and Cornish Pixies."

"Remus isn't that bad, though,"I admitted. Severus looked at me, wide-eyed, like I'd screamed a filthy swear word. "What?" I asked, completely oblivious to his train of thought. "He told James and Sirius to stop teasing me once."

"Lupin is one of them!" Sevvy gestured wildly with his hands. "There's something-there's something odd about him!"

"I think he's nicer than the rest of them. I don't think there's anything odd about him," I tried to assure Severus. "Come on-we can't hex them in here, it's a library."

"Do you know any hexes?" He looked at me, reverence in his dark eyes.

"I know a few," I admitted. "Like the body-bind curse-I like that one, and they deserve it," I said firmly, and Snape nodded, completely agreeing.

"So let's lure them out. I've got it, I'll distract them, and you wait and from behind, then hex them before they hex me!" He said, scampering out before I could blink my eyes.

"Wait!" I hissed, grasping for his cloak-but he was already gone. "Severus, they're going to eat you alive!" I moaned. But true to plan I snuck out, albeit a bit wearily. I wanted to keep an eye on my best friend. Snape had begun to talk to them in a low voice-I couldn't hear what he was saying.

"Ah, Snivelly!" James's face lit up in a mean way, and Madame Pince shushed him angrily, which he completely ignored. "I don't think the library appreciates having to clean out all the grease spots your nose has left in the books," he said nastily, and Sevvy's face burned red in shame.

"You take that back, Potter!" I yelled, library rules completely forgotten. "You take that back right now!" I drew my wand, and stepped beside Severus. He whipped his wand out at well, pure hatred etched into his young face.

"If you'll kiss me, Evans, I'll take back every mean thing I'd ever said about him," Potter winked jauntily, and I glared, disgusted, at him.

"And I might even refrain from hanging him from his underwear out of the Astronomy tower," Black added, winking.

"You're stupid gits, both of you," I replied coldly. "Now take it back, before I hex you."

"No," Potter said stubbornly, crossing his arms, eyes dancing mischievously. "Or rather, why don't you make me, Evans? Come on and defend your greasy boyfri-"

"Petrificus Totalus!" I yelled in anger, brandishing my wand at him.

"What've you done that for?" Black yelled, rounding on me and taking his own wand as James clattered to the floor, eyes wide open in shock.

"He was being horrible!" I shouted. "And if you insult Severus or I one more time, I'll hex you as well!" I was breathing hard, hands shaking.

"Come on, Lily, let's clear out," Sevvy said in a low voice, putting a hand on my arm.

"Yes, you coward, just leave the fight and-"

"There will be no "clearing out" just now," a stern voice came from behind us, and all my anger dissipated-dread filled it's place.

"McGonagall," I whispered, closing my eyes and hitting my forehead with my hand. "Professor McGonagall, they were insulting Severus! I had to-"

"Hex them?" She finished, looking at me sternly, knowingly. "Miss Evans, I am very disappointed in you. I would have expected you, of all people, to behave better. Ten points from Gryffindor."

"What?" I gasped, horrified.

"Each, for you, Black, and Potter. And ten points from Slytherin as well, Mr. Snape." Snape hung his head, ashamed.

"But Minnie, that's absurd!" Black shouted. Professor McGonagall turned her gaze on him, eyes crackling and furious.

"Black, how many times have I told you not to call me by my first name? It is neither respectful or appropriate! Five more points!" I glared pointedly at Black, silently telling him not to say another word. McGonagall, with pursed lips, set Potter right and he stood up as well, looking slightly ruffled.

"Detention, all of you. Come with me," she said, turning briskly.

"You are despicable," I muttered to Potter as we walked glumly behind our head of house.

"And you are attractive when you're angry, Evans," he winked jauntily, looking completely unfazed by the whole thing. "And you are going to bear my children." I looked at him in disgust and horror-

"That's horrifying, Potter. Don't ever say that again, because it's not true."

"You just wait, Evans."

End Flashback

James laughed as I recounted the experience, putting the dishes by the sink and helping me up, bringing me to the couch where we sat together. "Poor Madame Pince. She probably had an anxiety attack whenever we were in the library together from then on out."

One Month Later-July 30th

"Ouch!" I hissed, grabbing my stomach.

"Are you alright?" One of the women in the yoga class looked at me in concern, straining to stretch around her substantial baby bump. Her black-and-grey streaked hair was falling out of her ponytail. Alice hadn't come to the class today-and we'd received notice not thirty minutes ago from Frank that she was in labor.

"Yeah, just-just-I'm fine," I sighed. Now everyone in the class was looking at my eagerly, like I was going to pop one out right there on the floor. I continued through the stretch, wincing-I was getting stabs of pain in my abdomen, like horrible cramps. I dismissed them as Braxton-Hicks contractions, because that's exactly what I'd gotten a week ago, and we'd rushed off to the hospital for nothing. It was rather embarrasing.

"Last one, ladies!" Valere announced. "And one foooooooot, if you can, stretch to the siiiiiiiiiiiide-careful now Malorie, don't want your twins to be born prematurely-aaaaaaand back. Good job, ladies!" She beamed. The whatever-it-was pain passed, and I relaxed once more, thinking that perhaps Harry had just given a rather violent kick.

The class soon dispersed, and as I walked in the front door to James's and my home, I felt the pain again. I winced and hissed, sitting down gently on the couch. Maybe if I just readjusted my position-"Ouch!" I cried as the pain intensified, even more than the last time. I turned on the television loudly, hoping to distract myself-James was out with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, I didn't want to bother him with cramps, or fake contractions, or whatever they were. They couldn't be real contractions, could they? No. They were happening too far apart.

"Greg!" I cried, jumping slightly as I saw my older cousin walk in through the kitchen. "What are you doing here?" I looked wildly around, willing him not to notice the moving photographs, the floo powder, the-

"James called me to keep an eye on you," he admitted sheepishly. "Why have you got the tellie on so loud?"

"Just-" I winced and bit my tongue as the pain reached its climax. I held the arm of the couch in a death grip-"Just wanted to watch something." I relaxed, sweating slightly as the pain passed.

"Are you alright?" He asked, concerned, sitting next to me.

"Hello, Lily!" Dorcas came out of the kitchen as well, smiling. "How are you doing?"

"Hey, Doe," I gave her a grin. "I'm good. James called you too?"

"Yes. He's worried about you, he said your due date was a couple weeks ago, and-how did he put it-he thinks you could pop at any moment."

"Ah," I said, wrinkling my nose at the analogy. "Well, thanks for coming."

"Oh, Mer-uh-" I passed what was about to be "Merlin's pants" into a violent cough for Greg's sake, who would have certainly thought that comment to be extremely odd.

Greg and I were flipping through channels, and Doe was eyeing me every couple of seconds, probably wondering what we would do if I went into labor-we couldn't very well bring Greg to St. Mungo's-we'd have to go to a muggle hospital.

"Lily? You alright?" Doe looked at me intently, eyes sliding down to my stomach. They both were looking at me like I was some bloody time bomb, about to explode at any second.

"I'm fine!" I snapped, and she recoiled. "Sorry. I'm pregnant, okay?" I gave her a weak smile, which she returned. "And-ow, there it is again!" I yelled loudly, smacking the couch arm chair. I grabbed Greg's hand and squeezed it with all of my might-"That's how much it hurts!" I cried.

"Lily, are you going into labor?" Greg looked at me, alarmed.

"No, no, I-" I tried to stand up, and a huge wave of liquid came rushing down, splashing on the floor and couch. "Sorry," I whispered, turning red. "I think my water just broke. It-it's time."

"Come on!" Greg yelled, suddenly going into panic mode. "We-we've got to drive to the hospital, St Ann's, and-and-someone's got to get a hold of James!" He bellowed, taking my hands and leading me out to his truck. Dorcas was right behind us, white-faced and nervous.

"I'll floo-uh, felly-tone him!" She yelled. "Go, go-I'll meet you at the hospital!"

"OUCH!" I yelled as the contraction-because that's what it must have been-tore through me. "I NEED JAMES!" I bellowed, squeezing the life out of Greg's hand. "I NEED JAMES!" I began to cry, and Greg helped me in the car, shoving the key into the ignition.

"James is coming dear, James is coming, just wait..."

"Harry, just wait, sweetheart, wait until your daddy's here," I tried to talk to Harry, putting my hands on my stomach protectively. Greg never dipped below twenty kilometers over the speed limit all the way to the hospital. It was a short drive, luckily, so no police cars came-the contraction ended and I breathed a sigh of relief, but now I was panicked. I was going to have a baby.

"I'm going to have a baby," I gasped, looking, wide-eyed, at Greg. He looked back at me with identical green eyes, the same fear reflecting in his.

"I know you are. It's all going to be alright, just got to get in the hospital-" he stopped the car, and jumped out, scrambling over to open my door. We had parked right next to the door-and it was really right next to the door. We were half on the sidewalk.

"She's in labor!" Greg shouted as soon as we burst through the automatic doors. "Get her to a room!"

"Are you the father? Lie down on here, dear-" Several nurses and doctors ran forward, pushing me down onto a rolling bed.

"No, I'm her cousin, the father's on his way-" They began to wheel me into a room, hooking me up to machines that immediately began to monitor my heart, my contractions, everything.

"Did your water break? When did the contractions start? How far apart are they?"

James

"Phone call for a Mr. James Potter," the waitress bustled over to the boys' table, looking quite alarmed and out of her wits.

"What? Where?" James's eyes immediately grew wide and he tossed his spoon into his dinner, immediately halting his and his friends' conversations.

"Come back here, follow me-" All three boys anxiously tailed after James, and he took the telephone with shaking hands.

"JAMES? JAMES! CAN YOU HEAR ME! ARE YOU THERE?" Dorcas bellowed and James started, jumping back at the sudden noise and dropping the phone. Remus picked it up for him with steady hands, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Calm down, mate, I'm sure it's fine."

"JAMES BLOODY POTTER! ARE YOU THERE OR NOT?" Dorcas shrieked and Peter and Sirius exchanged startled glances-this was possibly the first time they had heard Dorcas swear and shout-and all in one sentence, as well.

"I'M HERE!" James yelled back, startling the waitress.

"Shh," she brought a finger to her lips, looking slightly dismayed. "Haven't you ever used a phone before?" But James had jammed his finger in his other ear, listening intently.

"LILY IS IN LABOR! THEY'VE GONE TO SAINT ANN'S, THAT'S A MUGGLE HOSPITAL, THE ONE BY YOUR HOUSE! I'LL MEET YOU IN THE LOBBY! HURRY UP!"

"IS LILY ALRIGHT?" James bellowed.

"YES SHE'S FINE BUT SHE'LL BE BETTER WHEN YOU'RE THERE. GET YOUR ARSE OVER HERE, NOW!" And with that, Dorcas hung up the phone.

"We've got to go, mate!" Sirius bellowed.

"Come on Padfoot, Lily and James don't want us-" Remus started.

"Are you insane?" James bellowed, thrusting money at the poor, baffled waitress and grabbing all of their arms. "Come on!" They all dashed out the door, piling into Peter's car and high-tailing it to the hospital, weaving around cars and driving half-way in the grass the whole time.

Lily

"How long will it take before I have to push?" I asked the nurse fearfully, grabbing the iron railings of my bed in a death grip as the worst contraction yet hit.

"MERLIN'S BLOODY LEFT BUTTOCK!" I screamed, and the nurse looked at me oddly. "WHERE'S MY HUSBAND?"

"Here!" James gasped, stumbling into the room. "Lily, are you alright? Remus and Sirius and Peter are here, in the lobby, they wouldn't let them through, and Dorcas is here, so are Marlene and Emmy. Hey, Greg," he panted, all in one breath.

"Hey, mate," Greg clapped him on the shoulder. "Congratulations."

"Lily!" Remus gasped, stumbling in.

"You look horrible!" Sirius came right in after. Peter squeaked in terror. James stood over me protectively, taking my hands.

"Alright, Lily, it's alright, come on, squeeze my hands-

"Argh!" I yelled, closing my eyes shut so tight a tear escaped.

"COME ON LILY, PUSH!" Sirius screamed, jumping up and down.

"SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO PUSH YET!" Remus bellowed, whacking him upside the head. "She-

"EVERYONE BUT THE HUSBAND, OUT!" The nurse finally bellowed, whacking Sirius and Remus with her clipboard-Greg and Peter were already out in the hallway.

"We'll see you later Lily, don't worry!" Sirius yelled over the nurse's shoulder. I nodded weakly as the next contraction hit.

"Don't worry, dear. You're not ready yet, we'll move you into the birthing room when you are. You're just preparing right now. And are you going to give a natural birth, or would you like an epidural-"

"Natural," I said with gritted teeth, and James looked at me in alarm.

"That's going to hurt like hell!"

"I don't care, I don't want to risk anything!" I snapped.

"Alright, good plan, good plan." James kissed my forehead, and the contraction trickled off. I took a deep breath, and the nurse walked out to check on another patient.

"James, I'm scared," I whimpered, clutching his hand in mine to my chest. "What if I mess up? What if something happens to Harry?"

"Nothing's going to happen, love. You're so brave. You're going to be a great mother," James whispered his promise, kissing my hands. "I'm going to be here with you every second. I love you."

"Love you too-ouch, oh, ouch, it's happening again, it's worse this time-"

"NURSE HENRIETTA!" James bellowed, and she came running in.

"Nine centimeters," she said, somewhat grimly and several doctors came in behind her. "Time to go."

James held my hand the whole way, and I screamed and groaned all the way down the hallway as the contraction reached it's peak.

"PUSH!" James thundered, and I tried to-I pushed with all of my might-it hurt so bad-"Breathe," he commanded. I was sweaty and tired and I had been pushing for hours-it hurt, I was so sore, I was going to ground Harry-

"Lily!" Two figures burst into the room.

"Your mother is here," the doctor announced.

"My-wha-oh," I panted, seeing Darcy She must have fibbed a bit to get in through the front desk.

"Come on, sweetheart," Darcy took my other hand. My hair was plastered to my head, and the worst cramps possible times ten raged through my abdomen and I let out another ear-piercing scream.

A\N-Thank you to all the readers\reviewers of this story, so sorry I haven't been replying to the reviews like I normally do. School's started again and I'm really busy...but here's a quick update for you guys, hope you enjoyed:)