Chapter 15: Suspicion is the knife that cuts us

"You're getting too close to her!" One boy was hissing, and I pressed my ear to the door. My heart was thumping so loudly I was sure they'd hear it. "You are meant to watch and report, not fall in love! That's the reason your father brought us here, half-wit. To spy!" Then he said something in another language; I didn't understand it, but it sounded insulting.

"I don't speak Croatian, imbecile." Stefan's voice was cold, colder than I'd ever heard it. It had none of the kindness when he was speaking to Melody, nor the laughter I'd grown so accustomed to..."You know where my loyalties lie, Andrei. Not with some stupid school girl, but with our cause. Who do you think you are, questioning my motives?"

My breath caught in my throat, and I began to choke. I missed their next lines, and my eyes watered as I tried to hold in a cough. I clamped my hands over my mouth, but it was too late. I let out a spluttering cough, and the voices from the other side of the door paused.

"Stop," Stefan ordered, his voice suddenly a lot closer than it had been. "What was-" I didn't get to hear the next part because I was racing down the corridor, almost tripping over my legs because I couldn't seem to run fast enough. I turned the corner and ducked into the first door I found, which happened to be the lavatory that everyone avoided.

I let out a sigh of relief; no one ever came in here. I slid down to the ground, leaning my back against the door.

But my relief was short-lived. Words from Stefan's conversation floated back to me, and I something inside me ached horribly as I began to piece it together.

"You're getting too close to her! You are meant to watch and report, not fall in love! That's the reason your father brought us here, half-wit. To spy!" That part was simple enough. What else could it mean? Obviously, Nikola hadn't brought along his students blindly. They must have known exactly what they were walking into; for some reason, he had them spying on us. I knew Nikola was after the shields, was he trying to set his students to watch us and see what we knew?

Nadia was one, I knew for sure. She had Al wrapped around her pinky. Why? I didn't know. Why would Al know about the shields? And Stefan...how could he be involved in this? Obviously if that other boy-Andrei-was chastising him for falling in love, he was talking about Lucy.

"You know where my loyalties lie, Andrei. Not with some stupid school girl, but with our cause. Who do you think you are, questioning my motives?"

Some stupid girl. Was that all he thought of Lucy? I let out a groan, kneading my forehead with my knuckles. This was ridiculous. Why hadn't I just burst into that room right then and there, and demanded to know what was going on? There had to be some explanation. Stefan would never betray me. If he was on Nikola's side...I shuddered at the thought. There was no way.

"He wouldn't!" I said aloud, slamming my fist into my palm.

"Wouldn't, what?" Myrtle popped up from behind her cubicle, a coy little smile plastered on her face.

"Moaning Myrtle!" I blurted, jumping slightly. "You can't just...you scared me."

"This is my bathroom," Myrtle sniffed daintily, ponytails swishing as she cocked her head. I rolled my eyes, and sighed. "Are you going to make this your cry place too?" She giggled a bit.

"No, I-wait. What do you mean, too? Does someone else come in here?" I asked curiously.

"It was a long time ago," Myrtle let out a little sigh. "There was this handsome boy, white hair and so pale, like a ghost!" She tittered, floating closer to me. "But he wasn't a ghost, he was a Death Eater. But it wasn't his fault. It was so very long ago..." Myrtle trailed off, pouting. "And he never came back!" She suddenly yelled, zooming right in my face. "They never come back!" She screamed, and then fell backward, crying delicately.

"Er...I'm sorry, Myrtle," I said awkwardly. "But I think...I think I'm going to go." I stood quickly and slipped out the door.

"Roxanne, are you and Melody fighting?" Laine asked me out of the blue as she, Anna and I headed out of the Great Hall after dinner and to the common room.

"What?" My hand clenched unconsciously against the 62 on my wrist. "What makes you think that?"

"Well," Anna began, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "She was gone at dinner, and earlier today in free hour you weren't there. So you seem like you're avoiding each other."

"Well," I began slowly. Melody didn't tell me she was a werewolf and now she's mad at me because I won't tell her about my dead uncle talking to me and all the other souls with him. "It's complicated," I sighed. "I'm sorry, guys. It's just...I don't know."

Laine and Anna exchanged a look, and I sighed again. Was I about to have all three of my friends turn on me?

I didn't find out, because just then Melody came rushing up to me, face pinched.

"Roxanne, will you come with me?" She was breathing hard, her face sweaty. My eyes widened as I caught on. I broke off from Anna and Laine and without a word we sprinted toward the doors of Hogwarts where we would exit.

"I couldn't get out right away because Professor McGonagall had given me a detention!" Melody was practically crying. "And she doesn't know!"

"It's okay Mel, it's okay," I soothed. "We'll get out in time. The moon hasn't come out yet, we're fine!"

"I don't want to hurt anyone!" Melody burst, and increased her speed. Luckily, no one was in the corridor leading out to the grounds of Hogwarts so we were able to slip out, unnoticed.

Stefan was just outside, checking his watch.

"Finally! What-"

"Not now!" I snapped, putting my arm around Melody's shoulders as she began to shake.

"You too need to change!" She ordered, teeth grinding together. "Or you might get hurt!"

"We're going to help you!" Stefan rushed forward, dashing through the snow and taking Melody's other side.

"Ahhhhh!" She let out a scream, and I could feel the bones shifting under her skin. She looked back at the moon, and I saw her pupils dilate.

Stefan and I locked eyes, and we burst into a sprint. We half-dragged Melody until the Whomping Willow and froze the tree's branches.

We shoved her through the tunnel, her screams scattered with guttural growls.

"Change," she managed to growl at us through a mouthful of growing teeth, but I shook my head.

"Not til you are," I promised, and we continued to stumble through the dark tunnels.

We burst into the Shrieking Shack just as Melody fell to the ground, writing and convulsing. I fell down next to her, in wolf form, and Stefan did the same. Everything was much easier, when you couldn't talk.

We hunted the next day, rushing through the forest at full speed, weaving through the thick tree trunks. I could hear Melody and Stefan off in the distance, and I couldn't believe it had been a month since I'd done this. It felt like I had never been a human in between, that I'd been a wolf this whole time. It felt so natural, like it was an extension of myself.

My eyes widened and I screeched to a halt, skidding and tumbling over the snow until I came to a stop in front of the little girl, standing daintily atop the pile of snow in her pink boots. She waved a mittened hand at me, perfectly calm. She couldn't have been more than five. I listened closely for Melody and Stefan; I heard them barking in the distance.

The sun had set, and it was growing very dark fast. I quickly shifted back to a human and ran up to the little girl, grabbing her hand and beginning to run.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered to her as our feet flew over the snow, my robes billowing out behind me as we raced against time, my heart racing in my throat as the end of the trees closed in on us.

"Are you the magical wolf?" She asked me, turning her big brown eyes to me. "Are you the protector-wolf Mommy and Daddy were talking about? Where's your partner protector-wolf? You saved my Mommy's friend," she said, and I nodded quickly.

"I-sure, yeah," I said, confused. I shifted back into a wolf as the girl's house came into view.

"Stephanie!" I heard voices calling, and I could smell both the little girl-Stephanie-and her parents, further away. She looked down at me in surprise, and smiled, stopping to run her chubby hands through my fur. I nudged her forward with my head, but instead she attempted to jump up on my back, trying to ride me like a horse.

"No no!" I gasped, flattened on my stomach as a human once more, Stephanie giggling as she lay on top of me. This time I brought her right before the edge of the trees and let her go, pushing her forward and backtracking quickly, morphing back into a wolf and watching from a safe distance.

"Stephanie!" I heard her mother exclaim, rushing forward and grabbing her daughter. She shone her bright wand into the woods, blinding me as it flashed in my eyes. I ducked behind a tree, but not in time.

"Sam!" The woman gasped, and I guessed she had seen the reflection glinting off my irises. "Sam, I think I saw one of those wolves that saved Rebekkah!" I stuck my face just a tiny bit from behind the tree, well out of a human's vision range.

"Where?" I saw her husband step up behind her, holding his wand high. "I don't see anything...come on, you know what came out of these woods last month..."

I awoke to the sun streaming down from the branches, and I shifted to a human. I rolled out of a puddle of melted snow, yawning and stretching. I practically choked on my own spit as I saw Melody lying on the snow across from me, not wearing anything. I guess unlike Stefan and I, her clothes didn't transform with her. I quickly covered her with my cloak, but not before noticing all the scratches that crisscrossed her back like tally marks. Her dark hair was covered in ice and snow, contrasting against the white. I shook her shoulder until she woke.

"Mel," I whispered, kneeling down in the snow beside her, my knees making imprints.

"Roxanne!" She gasped, shooting up and pulling the cloak tighter around her. "Stefan's still asleep-did I hurt anyone?" She regarded me anxiously, blue eyes wide.

"No," I said firmly. "Now come on, we've got to get out of here and to the hospital wing."

"Ah, the wolf pack!" Pomfrey greeted us as we stumbled into the hospital wing at the crack of dawn, exhausted, freezing, and hungry. Melody's lips were blue, and Stefan's teeth were chattering. My clothes were soaked all the way through from the snow, and my whole body was numb. "Into beds, all of you," she ordered, and we slipped into three beds next to each other.

She set to work immediately, and with a flick of her wand three curtains covered our beds so we could change into the white, fluffy robes she had provided for us. They were warm and thick, and I sighed with pleasure as I peeled off my wet robes and let them sit on the floor in a heap. I curled up in the warm bed, smiling blissfully. Sleeping on top of the snow all through the freezing night wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world.

"That was bigger," I told Stefan encouragingly as he conjured up a pile of the gray matter purely from his mind and flung it upward. We watched as it came crashing down onto the smooth ground the color of fog; it smashed like anything else would, but as the shards flew outward upon impact, they disappeared.

"Mhh," he grunted, not meeting my eye. I still hadn't talked to him about what I'd overheard two days ago, but the words were at the tip of my tongue. My wrist read 57, and January was coming to a close. Fred was silent.

"You're getting too close to her! You are meant to watch and report, not fall in love! That's the reason your father brought us here, half-wit. To spy!"

"You know where my loyalties lie, Andrei. Not with some stupid school girl, but with our cause. Who do you think you are, questioning my motives?"

"Stefan," I snapped, blocking his shower of gray matter. "Who's the stupid schoolgirl Andrei thinks you're spending too much time with? And why does he think you're supposed to be spying on someone?" The bit of matter that Stefan was forming between his hands vanished, and his arms dropped to his sides.

"What are you talking about?" His voice shook.

"I heard you the other day," I said calmly, crossing my arms. "You and Yurik, and you were talking about...spying on someone. Were you spying on Lucy?"

"What?" Stefan's face was completely and utterly confused. "Why would I spy on Lucy?"

"You tell me!" I threw up my hands. "Andrei said you weren't here to fall in love, you were here to spy. And you said your loyalty wasn't with some stupid schoolgirl."

"Roxanne, I-"

"And I've been thinking," I prattled on. "Why else would Nikola want you to spy on people besides to find out about the shields? I know he wants-"

"What?" Stefan gasped, his eyes growing wide with shock, a look I was certain he couldn't fake. "Did you say Nikola's after the shields?"

"He sent me a note over the holidays." I strode forward to Stefan and handed him the letter that I still kept folded in my pocket. "I met him and refused," I said once he handed it back.

"I had no idea," he said in a hushed tone. "But I don't think you heard Andrei and I correctly. If I was spying on Lucy, why did I break up with her then?"

"I don't-wait. You broke up with her? Stop trying to distract me!"

"Okay. Listen, you've got to trust me." Stefan put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "I solemnly swear that I know nothing about anything Nikola's up to concerning the shields. I give my word that I am not involved in some...some spy mission, and neither are any of the other Durmstrang students, to the extent of my knowledge. I don't know what you heard between Andrei and I, but I would never betray you, Roxanne," he said softly. "Never."

I let out a breath that I had been holding. Of course I knew that Stefan would never betray me, I don't know what I was thinking.

"I'm sorry," I let out a shaky laugh. "I think I'm getting a bit stressed. Fred hasn't been talking to me lately..."

Stefan's eyes flashed. "You still think it's Fred, after what happened last time?"

My head snapped up. "That wasn't his fault!" I snapped. "It was a Death Eater pretending to be him. Fred saved me."

"What if it was a ploy?" Stefan hissed, towering over me angrily. "What if it was two Death Eaters working together and they were both pretending to be Fred, but the second one saved you to get you to trust him more? You trust too easily, Roxanne, and it will be your downfall!"

Whoa. Not only had Stefan used the word downfall, but that was the second time I'd heard that line this year, that I trusted too easily.

"You weren't complaining when it was you I trusted," I said coldly, and Stefan flinched like I'd slapped him, a look of hurt crossing his face.

"Roxanne," he pleaded. "I just don't want you to get hurt-"

"Then stop telling me it's a Death Eater!" I shrieked, making him jump back in shock. "Because it's not!"

"And what if it is?" Stefan shouted back, and the gray scene around us flickered. We were losing concentration, and we were about to plunge headfirst back into our world.

"I know my uncle," I growled, putting my face in his. "You don't understand-"

"I've been here with you every step of the way!" He yelled. "Don't say I haven't! I've pulled you out of there more than once, because I l-"

A sensation as though my body were twisting inward took over my senses, and I struggled to breathe as I lost my grip on this dimension. My world flipped upside down and like the sand in an hourglass, everything went backwards as the floor of the Astronomy tower popped back into view.

I stood quickly to my feet and shot one more angry glare at Stefan before stalking out.

"And they're off, folks, the first game of February and the Quidditch season is coming to a close!" Leeanne Talbot shouted as the Quidditch game started. The Ravenclaws and Gryffindors shot off all in different directions as if a bomb had lit under them, swooping and diving madly in the bright sunlight, the Quaffle flying back and forth and changing hands faster than my eye could track it.

The Bludger flew around madly, whacking brooms here and smacking players there. The Keepers on each side of the field floated tensely, gripping their brooms tight whenever the players came in range. Since all of my best friends were playing, I was sitting next to poor Urik. The reason I said 'poor' was because lately, Melody had grown colder toward the Durmstrang boy who was chasing so clumsily and sweetly after her heart. She didn't want to inflict on anyone her monthly problem; she thought that ruining Stefan's life, and mine, once a month, was already too much. So she wouldn't talk to him.

I tried to throw him a bone, and tell him that Melody was dealing with tough issues, but it only made Urik look sadder.

He stood up and cheered louder than all of the entire Ravenclaw stand put together as Melody saved a spectacular shot, swooping down and hitting the Quaffle out of the way at the last minute. Anna and the Ravenclaw Seeker were pulling all sorts of fancy stunts, pretending to dive and then pulling out at the last minute, shooting up towards the sky instead to confuse their opponent.

"She's great, isn't she?" I beamed to Urik as we sat back down in our seats.

"She is." He nodded. "I know that Melody is a werewolf," he whispered in my ear, and I sat frozen as all the blood drained out of my face.

"What?" I whispered. "What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

Urik shook his head, smiling reassuringly. "Do not worry, Roxanne." He patted my shoulder. "I have known since the beginning of the year. Her secret is safe with me." With those heartfelt words, I relaxed slightly.

"How did you find out?" I whispered.

"My uncle is a werewolf too," he said softly. "So I know one when I see one."

"And you still fancy her?" I asked in awe, my respect for this Durmstrang bloke skyrocketing.

"Of course," he looked at me like I'd suggested he eat mud. "Why not?"

"I...good point," I nodded vigorously. "Stefan, you should...bloody hell," I said slowly. "Did I just call you Stefan?" I colored crimson, burying my face in my hands. It took me a moment to realize that Urik was laughing, and he patted my back gently.

"Don't worry," he winked at me when I looked back up, smiling sheepishly. "Your secret, too, is safe with me."

"What secret?" I protested, and Urik gave me a look that clearly said he wasn't buying it. "Fine, fine. Oh look, Laine just hit that Bludger toward Mary-Anne McKinley," I said weakly, pointing out toward the field. In turn the Gryffindor Beater hit the Bludger toward Laine, and she nearly was knocked off her broom. We rose to our feet and everyone in the Ravenclaw stand gasped as one.

"Foul!" We were screaming, outraged. Laine bravely climbed back on her broom, giving us a salute. "FOUL!"

"You British people get very involved in your Quidditch," Urik said seriously. "Roxanne, is that boy calling to you?" He pointed behind us and I turned around, doing a double take when I caught sight of the familiar face.

"James?" I whispered loudly over the commotion. "What are you doing here?"

He waved me over, and I climbed over the last rows to get to the edge where I could stand over the railing.

"You're on your broom!" I exclaimed, leaning over the side as James flew a bit higher to look me in the eye.

"Hey, cuz," he grinned, ruffling my hair.

"Put both hands on your broom!" I exclaimed, batting his hand away. "Look how high up you are, you're going to fall!"

"Hey look, no hands!" He laughed as he released both hands, shaking slightly. "Whoa!" He chuckled, quickly grabbing onto his broom again as I glared at him.

"I don't think Aunt Ginny would be very happy if I sent bits of you home in a potion flask," I said in a slightly snappish tone, and James rolled his eyes.

"Geez Rox, did your secret boyfriend dump you?" It took me a moment for me to remember what 'secret boyfriend' James was referring to.

"What do you have there?" I nodded to James's hand, changing the subject.

"What? Oh, it's what I came to tell you!" He exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. "Is now a good time to say I'm flying in the National Broom Races? Because I told Mum when she was taking her tea and she spit it out all over the carpet, so is now a good time for you? Cause I really don't want you to-"

"You're what?" I shrieked, leaning forward and grabbing James by the collar, pulling him down so he had to go cross-eyed to see me. "James Sirius Potter, people die in those races!" I yelled, eyes flashing.

"Okay, you're looking a lot like Aunt Angelina, pretty scary Rox, let's just calm down a bit," James patted my cheek and I reluctantly let go of his collar. "Here, check out this brochure. D'you know who else is coming?" He asked as I flipped open the glossy pages filled with moving pictures of wizards and witches flying with serene smiles past dragons and clashing rocks, through storms and over raging rivers.

"Nope." Come and fly for your life, and while you're at it, have the time of your life! For thrill-seekers and adventurous flyers, come and join the Annual broom races, this year to be hosted in Ireland! The course is being set now by hundreds of wizards, complete with fire-breathing dragons, perilous rapids and waterfalls, and man-eating birds! Not for the faint of heart...continued on page 2

I looked up at James. "Well? Who else is stupid enough to do this?"

"Me, Dom, and Albus! Oh, and Teddy's going so we don't all kill ourselves, and Rose is thinking about it."

"What?" I thundered, crumpling the brochure in my hand. "ROSE IS FLYING IN THESE RACES? WHY DID SHE NOT TELL ME THIS?"

"She's only thinking about it!" James held his hands up in defense. "And that is exactly why she didn't tell you. She knew you'd react like that."

"Like what?" I tried to work my face into a somewhat-calm expression, crossing my arms. The Gryffindor stand across the field erupted into cheers, and the Ravenclaws behind me grumbled amongst themselves.

"Ouch," James winced, looking behind me. "That looked like it hurt...anyway, Louis, Hugo, and Fred really wanted to race too, but obviously you've got to be of age. They were so disappointed, especially Fred...he says he's going to do it as soon as he hits seventeen," James chuckled.

"Not if he wants to live," I growled. "James, they're so dangerous!" I protested.

"Look," James rationed, holding his hands in an innocent position. "If I can prove to you they're not dangerous, will you at least come watch them? They're in Ireland, Rox! Think about it! And before they start they're two weeks where the fliers and the family gets to camp out in tents!" He said excitedly. "It'll be like a vacation for all of us! And you'll get to watch it in the sky because they've got these muggle camera thingies on us, so you can see it as it actually happens." I let out a sigh, holding out my arms for the paperback book James held out to me; The binding was practically falling off because there were so many spots marked with sticky notes and bits of paper.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Proof," James said simply, and began to fly down. "I just thought you might like to see...bye, Roxanne." He called, and zoomed away.

"Wait!" I called after his retreating back. "How did you even get in here? And did you ever have the Marauder's map?" I yelled, but he was already gone.

I spent the rest of the game reading through the book James had given me, and I could grudgingly admit I was slightly pacified once the game was over and I'd read through bits of it. There certainly were a lot of new safety measures, and there hadn't been a death in ten years. Well...that was something, at least.

"I want to race!" Fred boomed, trying to make his eleven year old voice sound manly and intimidating.

"You're eleven!" I hissed, pulling the sleeve of his robe. "Now get to class, I've got to go to Muggle Studies! Go!" I demanded, swatting the back of his head.

"Why can't I race?" He wailed. "Why did James come to see you and not me?" I sighed, turning to Melody. "You go, I'll deal with this kid." She nodded and gave me a sympathetic look before turning into the Muggle Studies classroom.

"That was a week ago, just forget it. And you can't race because you're eleven!" I snapped. "I've come to see that they're not exactly as dangerous as I thought, but still. Fred. You're not racing," I insisted. "It's illegal. You have to be of age."

"You could do it," Fred grumbled. "But you're too chicken."

I snorted. "You know how I feel about brooms." My brother rolled his eyes at me, and stalked off.

"You'll see, Roxanne!" He shouted at me. "I'll fly in those races!"

"Whatever, Fred," I called to his back before slipping into my seat beside Melody just as Professor Hardling swept into the room.

"Hello, boys and girls!" He announced, beaming and clapping his hands together. "You all are in for a real treat today, a real treat I say!" Melody and I shared a look and I tried not to groan. Last time the professor had a 'real treat' for us, we'd spent all hour going over the ingenuity of the muggle invention 'mouse traps.'

"We've been studying the muggles' imitations of magic for the past month, now we're going to see a real demonstration from the squib hypnotists, Mister Piggle Jigglekins!" Several giggles rang out over the classroom over the scattered clapping as a short, balding man in robes an unfortunate shade of yellow burst out of Professor Hadling's office, arms out and grin huge.

"Hello, hello children!" He beamed, pulling out all sorts of pendulums and other trinkets from his suitcase which looked like it had been hit with an overly powerful extension charm. "Today as you all have learned, I will be hypnotizing several of you and exploring the real magic of psychology!" He exclaimed brightly. "May I have volunteers? You," he pointed to me without waiting for anyone to actually volunteer. "And...you!" I was walking forward reluctantly, so I didn't realize he'd chosen Stefan until we were both at the front. We locked eyes and shared a moment of mutual reluctance to go through with this ridiculous ritual before we both looked away quickly, remembering that we were fighting. We crossed arms in identical stances, each looking the opposite direction.

"Well," Jigglekins continued. "Let us begin! Now if you will both look at me and take several deep breaths. Close your eyes, and concentrate. Ready? Now concentrate on the sound of my voice...just keep your eyes closed, and be ready to open when I say. Visualize a place in which there is no trouble, where all your stress and problems melt away..." Whatever else was said about Jigglekins, he was bloody good at this. His voice was soothing and I had actually begun to feel...calm.

"And...open," he commanded, and I focused on the pendulum he was swinging in front of us, a smallish red marble on the end of a gold chain. I could feel the edges of my mind going fuzzy, and my muscles relaxing.

"Now...sleep," Jigglekins commanded, and Stefan and I hit the floor with two muffled thumps.