Govern Our Conditions
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha.
A/n: This is just a mess. The way my life has gone, having to wait a year for an update is a disaster. There are excuses and they are not. But at some point you just have to suck it up. I'm sorry and I hope it does not happen again. There is supposed to be one chapter a month so that I can pace myself for these longer chapters while working on other things. My hope is that some things come to some sort of order soon so that I can maintain that goal. For now, please enjoy chapter three of Govern Our Conditions. If you have any advice, I welcome it. It's been interesting writing in this style again. If something doesn't work, I want to know.
Chapter 3: You Cannot Compromise That Fear
If noticed, the first one could have merely been mistaken as someone who found themselves hesitating just outside the door that separated them from one who seemed to live a life so opposite of their own; their hesitation could be out of fear of this other who they had been sent to fetch. But two would not be mistaken as such. Or three. If noticed, definitely not four. Had there been any passerby in this particular hallway to take note, the passerby would not come to the direct conclusion that there were four servant maidens simply reluctant to enter the next room. In this scenario, it is likely that he or she would have to stop and see what all the fuss was about. Just as the maids were doing outside the door, eavesdropping.
The four young women had been crouched next to the door for a good twenty minutes in companionable silence. It seemed their curiosity about what was going on behind this particular lady's door was only growing.
Fuku Ryoji Kagome Higurashi has a bit of a reputation amongst the maids. Unlike her sister, a person who projects an unconcerned air that leads to ignoring the maids, the younger Kagome goes out of her way to involve the castle attendants in conversation and activities. In the beginning, they were all wary of interactions between lady and maid; the people worried her closeness was a solicited bid into trouble. It was easy to be suspicious that it was a way to gather information for reporting back to their powerful patrons. As it turns out, almost all of Kagome's occasions of friendliness lead to uncomfortable consequences for the black-haired girl.
There was no way around it, it seemed as if Kagome may have had a penchant for getting herself in trouble with the youkai she had tricked into an unwelcomed bonding.
No one had realized yet, handmaiden or consul, that events in the castle were closely analyzed by golden eyes separated by a blue moon, especially if the events entailed a certain Fuku Ryoji.
At the ten minute mark, Sesshomaru had put aside his consideration of the servants at the door. At the twenty-five minute mark, he had tuned out his youki's concentration on the human heat behind the door. He had deemed this event as paltry.
There was suddenly a loud curse and the four maids jumped back.
Kagome grumbled a bit to keep the rest of her stronger words at bay. She was glad she had decided to keep her porch door closed for this troublesome exercise. And Shippo, though small, was making a good guardian against the door to the main room.
"Oh, come on!" fussed the girl. "I don't understand. Byu was never this bad."
Shippo giggled when she said that. "Kagome, Byu wasn't agile enough to fight you. Or anyone."
The fox kit was right about that, but it was a little mean to consider that of her family's pet. She huffed back at him.
"It's not like I was trying to give him a full bath or anything. I've only just gotten the towel a bit damp."
"Most cats don't like water, Kagome."
"I know," the young woman sighed. "But he's had yet to be properly cleaned since we brought him in a few weeks ago. And he's always disappearing before long; he has to be getting into trouble when we don't see him for days.
"Also, I thought, perhaps if I washed our little feline friend with some good oils, maybe his natural scent would be covered up enough so that Sesshomaru would not glare at me so often as if I not only ruined his life, but joined with an enemy to do so."
Shaking his pony-tailed head, Shippo looked at Kagome's blue eyes. "I don't think Sesshomaru is going to stop glaring at you because you gave a cat a bath."
Once again, he was right.
"Maybe I can work slowly towards winning him over to some sort of tolerance of me with little things."
As good of a friend as he was to Kagome, the kitsune silently hoped something like that might work.
"Ah! When I finally catch him, I'm going to scrub that cat so hard, his fur will be softer than Inuyasha's ears!"
Taking the dampened towel in both hands, Kagome stretched it before her like a shield. The young woman then softly crept forward toward the other side of the small room. When she was about three feet away from the basket that hid her prey, she cautiously dropped down to her knees. She lowered the towel and slid it at the basket. Kagome began to shake a bit of the corner of the cloth.
"How about we play a little game, neko-chan?"
The basket across from her wiggled and a furry black creature peaked its head around it. Keeping low to the ground, its gold eyes target the sudden movement the human girl presented. Kagome watched its tail twitch once, then twice. (It was unavoidable that her tender face softened.). There was a building silence.
Springing from its crouch, the black cat joyfully attacked the wriggling cloth. Reacting just as quickly, Kagome turned the other edge of the towel inward and scooped up the cat in a bundle of damp cotton. This out of the blue retaliation shocked the feline into stiffness.
"Sorry, little guy. Now that I've got you, I will not be letting go until I've cleaned you up."
With hard work at hand, the atmosphere began to finally settle. There were no grumbled curses or suspicious thuds that warranted investigation. No one had to negotiate any arguments. And instead of a mess, there was progress.
It took her some time to ruffle through the cat's black fur with the water and oil infused towel in a way that satisfied her, and then a couple more minutes to wrangle him into a dry towel to wipe him down. But it was worth it when she could finally hold him up before her to scrutinize a job well done.
Kagome's blue eyes widened as the smile simultaneously fell from her lips. She dropped the cleaned creature and it sprang away, running past Shippo with a yowl. It was out the main room door before either two of the occupants could finish reacting.
The fox kit had to take a few seconds to right himself so he could search Kagome for signs of trouble.
Shippo started to shake when he saw a gathering enter the room without an invitation. He shivered at glowing pink tendrils lifting strands of his friends wavy black hair. The small, but powerful curls of energy made him uneasy and he felt a gradual transformation of that uneasiness into fear.
Suddenly, the tension left Kagome's shoulders and the lightly colored energy disappeared.
"K-Kagome?" Shippo inquired.
"Yes, Shippo?" The young woman turned to her friend with a smile.
"Are you okay?"
Her forehead wrinkled a bit, but the smile did not faltered. "Yeah. He didn't actually scratch me when he jumped out. He just startled me a bit."
"But Kagome, what about the pink..."
"I wonder why he reacted so suddenly after being calm enough for the beginning of the drying?"
She was confused. How could she be confused? She was the one who had dropped the cat, and Shippo had seen the energy.
"Are you all right, Shippo? He didn't hurt you on his way out the door, did he?" Kagome waited patiently for her concerns to be answered. Under his orange hair, the kitsune continued to ponder silently. Yet he had to answer her or there would be too much of a pause and a strained moment would occur.
"Oh, I'm fine, Kagome!" his words rushed out. "I'm too strong to let a little cat scare me!"
Across from him, the girl's smile grew and she laughed a bit.
"I know you are." She trusted the pint-sized youkai. "Well, now that he's run off once again, headed for more mischief, how about you lend me one more hand and together we can clean up the mess he left behind."
Her friend nodded and she rose from the floor. Shippo tried to think a little more for Kagome's sake, but he ultimately shook the thoughts from his head and got to work.
With the promise of food on her lips, Kagome was enjoying her voyage through the muted hallways. All she had for company was the swishing sounds of cloth against cloth as her draped arms swung at her sides. It was pleasant for the blue-eyed young lady to be seemingly abandoned, and only kept together through her thoughts alone. It made the discovery of the central kitchen a trace of spontaneous excitement, despite the fact that the kitchen was her goal all along.
With a kitsune with a sweet tooth as her closest companion, the girl known as Kagome made frequent visits to the kitchen for nighttime snacks, mid morning snacks, late afternoon snacks, and any other time there was a stomach stuck on grumbling. As such, she was now welcomed by the kitchen staff, just as friendly for knowing her as she was for her food requests. She was not exactly allowed into the kitchen itself, nowhere near the food and its preparation, but they relished the chance to load her up in the doorway. She would stand with her toes touching the frame and have amiable conversations with the various people before her as they gathered her supplies. Then, still smiling, bigger now, she would wish them well, and they to her, so that she could return to her rooms a champion.
Tonight called for only a few snacks; she had sent herself instead of Shippo for once. When Inuyasha appeared, she was without a burdensome load.
"Kagome!" he had not seen his best friend in a few days. "What are you doing here?"
She met him in the middle of the hall. "Just grabbing a bite. How about you?"
"Che, you got anything to share?"
Unfortunately, there was nothing in her hand that would cover the inu-youkai's appetite.
"No, Inuyasha. I'm sure there is something you can find in the kitchen just for yourself. After all, you are..." her teasing trailed off when his silent stare was brought to her attention. Something was coming up behind her.
Before she could make sense of it, Sesshomaru was beside her in the hall. Inuyasha was squared off against him.
"Ryoji," an effortless ignorance of Inuyasha as he stepped forward, "there is a feline nuisance running around that I would like to dispose off. Do not get in my way."
The younger of the two sons of Toga flared his usual temper at that, as he too stepped forward.
"Oi! How dare you talk to Kagome that way, bastard!"
Suddenly, Kagome noticed something that she had never witnessed before within the lines of the white-clad back before her. Unveiled tension. She looked closer, but did not see any anger. Kagome's senses went on alert, her hunger went away, and flight became a priority.
"Inuyasha, leave it be," she tried. "Sesshomaru-sama appears to be in a more ill mood than usual." A tactic to lower Inuyasha's hackles a bit. "You and I can try to have our conversations in another place." Sesshomaru would not think she was insulting him or defending him this way.
But Inuyasha was a fighter in the worst of situations.
"Kagome, I hate that you call my bastard of a brother, Sesshomaru-sama. He has evil ice running through his veins and doesn't deserve your respect; he's always looked down on humans, especially you." His golden eyes glared passionately at said youkai. "Her name is Kagome, asshole!"
"Inuyasha!"
"You are my best friend. I'll protect you."
Their hearts were too heavy for this moment.
"Inuyasha, please. Please accept that I address your brother as Sesshomaru-sama because that is who he is to me. It is his station; he is a lord, a youkai, and warrior. But he is more than that. He is my partner and I respect him for the honor that he carries with in him."
"That honor is just him being an ass."
"The one being a jerk here is you. I'm going. You should too."
With a seeming end to their conversation, the older inu-youkai departed. He was still within earshot when Kagome last commented, "I hope you know that you are still my best friend and I will always call you Inuyasha because you have more than just my respect, you have my love."
Was it fate or extremely poor timing that the two entered the visiting hall at the exact same time?
"Mother?" "Momma?"
Sesshomaru narrowed gold at Kagome for speaking at the same time as well.
The black-haired girl turned away from his heat to get a better look at the surprise in the visitors hall.
At the center of the room, three females gathered in seated and regal forms. Dynamic in her gowns and her power, Tsuki lead this gathering. Across from her, no less beautiful, was Kagome's human mother. Beside Tsuki, was a newcomer, but no less compelling looking. And the three were looking at the two with interest.
"Come in, Sesshomaru," commanded Tsuki. "Bring your consul as well. We can discuss a few things before tonight."
Kagome liked where her head was at, so she let the male inu-youkai stride forward first. However, she was unhesitant to follow promptly since this meeting involved the out of the blue appearance of her mother. She watched as Sesshomaru gracefully dropped to the floor in cross-legs next to his mother. In imitation, the girl took her place just opposite him and beside her mother.
"Mother, who is our guest?" This noble demon was always a man a few but pointed words.
The lady addressed chuckled. "Sesshomaru, you should know your future mate's mother, Lady Higurashi." The was a pregnant pause at that declaration. The rest of the group refused to analyze that statement too closely. The silver-haired woman chuckled even more. "Oh son, I do so enjoy your lack of outward expressions. The one beside me is my own guest, Lady Chaittsi."
Kagome glanced over at whom her lady indicated. She took in the woman with silver hair and coal eyes so dark, they were more than just black smoke. She had a soft and welcoming smile beneath the eyes. But Tsuki went on.
"She is a seeing demoness of the highest quality. Lady Higurashi was a delightful happenstance who happened to be visiting at the same time as I. We all met up outside your father's castle, walked in together, and have been chatting ever since. And now we have news."
Sesshomaru growled, "Mother..."
"My interest in Chaittsi-San lies in her ability to read futures; I thought she could be of great use to your father and some discussions I wish to have with him. My visit is unannounced to him. We thought it would be a marvelous idea to put together a celebration for tonight in order to get him in a comfortable mood. And with Lady Higurashi here to catch up with her daughters, we will make it even more human-friendly, which can only create more entertainment. I expect you to gracefully escort your Fuku Ryoji to the festivities tonight, Sesshomaru. My only son, do not disappoint."
"Momma, I told you, I'm fine."
"But Kagome, Sesshomaru-sama has a more fearsome reputation than his father. When it comes to humans he can be quite ruthless. We all saw how much he did not appreciate being tricked by one. I worry for your safety. And your sister will tell me nothing. I..."
"Mother, Sesshomaru-sama is an inu-youkai with fearsome powers; he has earned his reputation. But he has not hurt me since that day. In fact, he usually ignores me. Which, I know, sounds unfortunate, but it is something I can build on. Hate is too hard to tear down. I want to be worthy of him as a true Fuku Ryoji; it is the only way I can make it up to him."
"My dear love, your heart is the truest I have ever known. I know you will make us proud. You make even make him proud. But you must always be proud of yourself."
"Momma..."
Halfway through the bright and boisterous night, in all the good ways, with a happy Shippo, a jubilant Inuyasha, and a content Kikyo, the young girl with the blue eyes had to take a break from everything that swirled around her. She grabbed an orange and searched out quiet simplicity.
Sesshomaru was bored with his family's insanity and the great demon dog had to take a break. He knew he had to go to the old well at the north edge of his father's castle territory in order to get back to composure.
Her mother was not a problem; it was the rightfully founded concern that gave Kagome anxiety. She walked further north.
His mother's parties were tedious affairs that heated his ears. They made her happy, but they made him angry. He hated the thought that his parents allowed this. Sesshomaru felt his claws lengthening.
Up ahead was a clearing that the human girl vaguely remembered from a tour Inuyasha had given her and Kikyo at their arrival into this life. If her memory served her right, there were woods on one side and an olden wooden well on the other. This far north away from the caste, the sounds of the celebration could not be carried on the air to her chilled ears. Her next few steps slowed and she closed the folds of her gown tighter around her.
Kagome stepped into the clearing and stopped.
She stood in awe. Another had sought out this space for a peace even she could not understand. Sesshomaru was utilizing the clearing to perform battle-training moves in strategic swiftness. This was her first true chance to really observe his skills and she would never waste it. She could barely keep up with his movements now, and he was nowhere near going full out. The inu-youkai before her was elegant power who held nothing back. His youki brightened something.
The young woman with wavy black hair flittering in the wind felt the word escape her lips because the effort to be silent had gone on for to long. "Amazing..." And she dropped the orange at her feet. Her blue eyes missed it rolling towards him.
Sharp claws centimeters from a tree at the edge of the clearing, he stopped and straightened himself.
"Your human words are of little value to this one," stated the youkai with the moon stamped upon his forehead.
Caught, Kagome hastily brushed imaginary dirt off her before crouching down to rescue her fallen fruit and getting real dirt on the bottom of her outfit.
"Sorry. I just, I could watch you fight for hours. It is extremely graceful. Umm...wait. Please just let me...umm I am going to go over there and sit down. Ignore me, Sesshomaru-sama. Please."
As she walked to the well, he did just that. Kagome sat with her back to the well, peeled her orange, and tried not to stare at his back.
"I'm not apologizing for being human, you know..."
She thought he would remain silent, but instead, he said, "you should be. Though you cannot help to be as weakly born as you were. You can help to rid your weakness." The girl gasped. "Take that as you like."
"Humans have value, just as the youkai do."
"Only this youkai can truly decide what is worth this Sesshomaru's time."
"Hmph."
"Ha," he suddenly scoffed. "You are actually staying here, Ryoji."
"Just let me finish my orange, Sesshomaru."
Kagome's night was on a barrel roll into a direction she experienced as a degree turn. This interaction was just as different as one usually was from another with this youkai. It was certainly outside the parameters of her last one with him in that hallway with Inuyasha those ten days ago.
But she could not be silent after all.
"Could you not hate me so much? I am really trying here. I do want to do good by you at this point."
"Human, what you have done to this Sesshomaru is aggravating for high levels of my ire. Not since this one's own father have I sharpened my claws so often."
"What...?" What was he saying?
"As a, what your kind would call a 'teenager', my father broke with his youkai mate, a disgraceful act for one of his power, to lower himself to the wedded husband of a human. He would not head my words to forget Lady Izayoi and join his power with that of my mother. Youkai should not mix with human. My father disappointed this Sesshomaru; my claws took down all those that even tried my path then. I have since decided such lowly fights are for lower breeds..."
He, he had said such beyond what she knew of him. The immobile young woman wanted this moment for herself, and it was, wasn't it? Kagome had to take what she unexpectedly had stolen. His back was still to her.
Suddenly she realized something, her break was over; her self had things to do and her mind had to run.
Kagome stood up, using the well to lift herself. She could not sneak up on her inu-youkai partner, but she strode to his back for one more minute. He inclined just the top of his body toward her approach without a word. Kagome held out her hand to his (she was quick, but he was quicker) so she could drop the last peeled slice of her pilfered snack right into his waiting palm.
The bright-eyed human called Kagome took a walk.
Inuyasha was playing with the black cat that had been missing the last few days, only to reappear the day after Lady Tsuki's celebration. Kikyo was actually having an engaging conversation with the young fox in the corner. Kagome stared out the open door and just beyond her porch. She was in such pleasant company that her world slowed its spinning.
Cold weather was coming, but she felt warm.
With her back against the great tree, not even the falling snow changed her mood.
Until she suddenly recalled her duties.
Having entered into the visitors hall later than the rest of the gathering, a certain youkai would certainly have her head for this later, the black haired girl was unsure if this time the visitor was unwelcome or not. She still sometimes felt the chill of his unexpected visit the first time around. Kagome kept every nerve in her body still, perched behind her sister, as she observed in her Fuku Ryoji capacity.
Thaiscit's smile showed too little teeth; this was meant to be a sign of respect, but Kagome perceived not smiling and simply communicating as being more respectful.
He went on for Lord Toga. "You ask who I am. I am the advisor to the local youkai who sent myself here. My Lord is Shisa-youkai and he and his people specialize in a certain type of craft. My Lord wishes to begin trade with you. Alas, I am only a scouting party in this matter. My young lord, the first son, Tomimori is planning on traveling to your lord in the hopes that our clans may strike up an agreement."
'Was this the business Tsuki-sama and Chaittsi-san expected?'
"Then we will discuss it at his arrival," declared the Great Dog Demon.
A/n: This title's chapter comes from this quote: We are never doing anyone any favors by withholding our gifts from the world. It's scary to be fierce, but you can't compromise that for fear of losing those around you. -Idina Menzel. Alright, I will stop here. With your help, I may someday edit this chapter more for some occasion. Let us see what the reception will be. As such, I better get to work on filling out the rest of next chapter and beyond. May all of you have happy days ahead! I hope I do too; a little hard work can be fun.
Be seeing you on the other side of the rain,
-ROMS