School seemed to return far too quickly, and Blaine was still in holiday mode when he ambled into home room on the frosty January morning of the first day back. His dad had been being very off with him ever since their talk and Blaine had decided to swear off dating until he felt he was ready to handle his father's wrath on the subject. Which was why it threw him so much to see Kurt in home room before him. He glanced up sleepily to Kurt's gaze and immediately felt mildly sick.

"Morning, Kurt," he said, trying to keep his tone even.

"Blaine," Kurt responded quickly, "can I talk to you?"

Blaine looked at Kurt and tried to figure out the nature of the talk. "What about?" he asked casually.

"I think you know what about, Blaine," Kurt replied, not looking much more comfortable than Blaine felt.

"Okay, Kurt," Blaine nodded, feeling his stomach twisting in painful knots. He was going to have to have this conversation at some point anyway.

Kurt looked surprised that Blaine had agreed so easily. "Well..." He sighed, and then spoke very quickly, as if he were trying to get the words out as fast as possible. "We kissed under the mistletoe, and I wanted to verify what that means for our – our friendship..." He trailed off and raised his eyes to meet Blaine's.

Blaine looked away awkwardly. He had no idea what to say, and Kurt had become impossible to read. "Look, Kurt," he began, lifting his gaze back to his friend. "I don't want to screw up what we've got."

Kurt seemed to want to protest more passionately than he did. "But it wouldn't – necessarily – "

"I think it would," Blaine argued, rubbing his eyes. "Look, can we just – I mean, for now – sort of act like it never happened?" He felt terrible saying it, and wanted to add that it wasn't because he didn't want to kiss him, but decided against saying anything else.

Kurt looked heartbroken. He didn't really react for a moment, before nodding stiffly and sitting down quickly in his chair, opening his bag and making a scene of rummaging inside it for something.

Blaine felt terrible, and worse than that, he knew now that Kurt liked him – and he'd blown it. "Kurt," he said apologetically.

"No, I'm fine, I get it," Kurt sniffed, keeping his eyes down.

"No, you don't, Kurt, I'm sorry; I don't mean – I just – I didn't – "

But Kurt seemed intent on being as unresponsive as possible, and eventually Blaine sat back in his seat and closed his eyes in defeat, furious with himself. After a few minutes, Trent entered the room and plonked himself down next to Blaine.

"Hey, Blaine!" he said cheerily. "How was your holiday?"

Blaine sighed and looked at his friend. "Yeah, it was fine," he said distractedly. "Yours?"

"It was brilliant," Trent replied enthusiastically. "My sister and her husband came to visit from Iowa; I saw my niece again, she's grown about a foot – are you okay?"

Blaine glanced up and realised that he had turned his head towards Kurt, completely (and accidentally) blocking Trent out. "Sorry," he said, and frowned.

"What's up?" Trent asked anxiously. "You look like you're about to cry."

That sounded about right. He and Kurt were practically mirroring each other's faces, both stuck in seemingly hopeless despair.

"I'm fine," Blaine nodded, trying more to convince himself than Trent and not managing either.

At this point, Trent seemed to pick up on the obvious tension between Blaine and Kurt. "Have you two had a fight?" he asked, more quietly.

"No," Blaine answered quickly. "Well – yes. Sort of... I don't even know."

Trent sighed and looked past Blaine at Kurt. "How was your holiday, Kurt?"

Kurt "mmhmm"ed a 'yes' and then cleared his throat and said primly, "fine," before going back to the book he'd gotten out and started reading.

Blaine raised his eyebrows as if to say, "see?". Trent shook his head, hardly believing what he was seeing. "What happened?" he asked, wide-eyed.

Blaine opened his mouth to respond before promptly shutting it again. He couldn't tell Trent. "We had a... misunderstanding," he replied eventually. "Sorry, Trent, I don't think I can tell you," he added quickly when Trent made to speak again. "It's kind of private."

Trent looked hurt when Blaine said that: they'd never needed to keep secrets before. But he regained his composure and nodded, smiling supportively. "Well, I'm always here for you, Blaine. You know that," he said simply, patting his friend's arm. "Let me know if you ever want to talk about it."

Blaine nodded in return, feeling slightly better and extremely glad that Trent hadn't taken offence. "Thank you," he responded weakly, to which Trent just smiled.

Kurt remained silent for the rest of home room, speaking only in response to their tutor calling his name. When they got up to go to class, Kurt swung his satchel on to his shoulder and was out the door in one swift movement, leaving Blaine and Trent still sitting in their seats.

"Wow, Blaine, you must have done something really bad," Trent said quietly.

Blaine rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. What was he supposed to do?