A/N: Hey, everybody! Sorry for taking so long. I hit a little bit of a writer's block for awhile there and I needed to work on some other things to unblock it! Anyway, I don't think any of you will be too disappointed with this chapter. Bear in mind that it was originally two chapters that I condensed and melded together. As always, let me know what you think! Love all of you *

–Yours–

It was a week after the drunken debacle and Sara and Felicity were sitting on the couch in the apartment at night, watching something mindless on the television. It had been a long week full of ten-hour days at Verdant for Sara and quite a bit of arguing with Oliver over business on Felicity's part. Felicity had been fairly certain that Oliver's sudden disagreeable nature had everything to do with why he and Laurel were suddenly avoiding each other (Laurel had told Felicity in confidence that there had been a development in her relationship with Oliver and that she wasn't sure if that development was a good or bad thing). Digg had very wisely agreed with Felicity that now was definitely not the time to tell Oliver about Dark Archer II and Checkmate.

Felicity's head rested on Sara's shoulder comfortably as they sat together. Ever since Sara was last shot, Felicity had formed a habit of curling herself into Sara's side and resting her head against Sara's shoulder (formerly the uninjured one, but now either was fine). Sara didn't mind one bit.

"I think I'm missing a couple of things," Sara was saying. "Like why is Ted leaving New York all of a sudden?" Sara turned her head away from the TV screen and looked down for Felicity's reaction, only to realize that Felicity had fallen asleep on her shoulder.

Sara hoped it wasn't creepy that she couldn't stop herself from just sitting there and taking in the peaceful look on Felicity's sleeping face. For as much serenity as Sara received from simply looking at Felicity in her worst moments, she knew that Felicity hardly ever looked all that peaceful herself. Felicity was everybody's rock, and she took that role to heart, but Felicity had troubles and tribulations of her own and she never spoke of them to Sara, or anyone else that she knew of. Sara wondered at this for a moment as she watched Felicity's eyelids flutter in her sleep. Rationally, Sara knew that Felicity was nowhere near as delicate and fragile as she looked, but still, everyone had a breaking point, and letting things bottle up inside wasn't the way to keep from reaching it.

Sara finally turned her head back to the TV and slowly reached forward for the remote before turning it off. She picked a still-sleeping Felicity up in her arms and carried her to her bedroom. Sara laid Felicity down on the bed and tucked her in. For a moment she remained sitting on the edge of the bed, completely still and silent as she waited for Felicity's breathing to even out once again, then Sara stood, leaned forward and kissed Felicity's forehead.

"Goodnight, beautiful," she whispered lowly.

Afterwards, she went back into the livingroom and laid back down on the couch. Her mind was plagued with worry over the woman in the next room, but finally exhaustion overtook her. Sara fell asleep thinking about the girl who held her heart and didn't even know it.

Felicity was ripped from her sleep only a few hours later by the sharp sound of a scream. She sat up quickly, momentarily surprised that she had somehow fallen asleep in the livingroom and woken up in her bedroom. The screaming was close, inside her apartment, and it took Felicity a moment before she realized that it was Sara screaming. She threw the covers off her body and raced into the livingroom, head swiveling around to check for any signs of danger, before finally coming to rest on the thrashing form of her friend. She understood then that Sara was having a nightmare and she lunged forward onto the couch to hold Sara tightly.

"Ssh, Sara, it's okay, sweetheart," Felicity assured her in her most calming voice. "It's just a dream! All it is is just a nightmare, all you have to do is wake up. Everything's going to be okay. You're safe. It's just a nightmare."

As Felicity spoke reassurances into Sara's ear and held her like a human strait-jacket, Sara's screaming and thrashing gradually lessened until it ceased altogether. For a few quiet minutes, everything was tense in the relative quiet of the night. All Felicity could hear was a ringing in her ears and Sara's ragged breaths.

Finally, when her worry won out, Felicity asked quietly, "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," Sara answered in a small voice.

"You were having a nightmare," the younger woman stated plainly.

Sara let out a shaky sigh. "Yeah."

There was another thick pause of silence. "Do you want to talk about it?" Felicity asked, her tone in no way implying that Sara should or shouldn't tell her what had scared her so badly.

Sara shook her head under Felicity's chest. "Not really," she answered.

Felicity wasn't sure whether she was relieved or not that Sara didn't want to talk about it. "Are you okay?" she asked, voicing the most important question.

For several minutes, there was nothing but silence. Felicity felt Sara shake against her body with silent sobs, and her arms only tightened around her friend's frame.

"I am now," Sara answered hoarsely. After a moment's deliberation, she added, "Thanks for . . . keeping me safe."

Felicity wasn't sure what to say to that except, "You were never in any real danger."

But I felt like I was," Sara confessed quietly, "and then I woke up and your arms were around me and . . . I felt safe. I haven't felt safe like this in a long time."

After awhile of simply laying there together, Felicity finally got up, reluctantly breaking away from Sara's warm body. For a moment, Sara looked just slightly short of crestfallen, until Felicity held out her hand to the frightened hero. Though confused, Sara took the tech's hand without a second of hesitation. Felicity pulled on her hand.

"Come on," the younger blonde told her in a gentle voice.

She pulled Sara to her feet and began leading her into her bedroom. Felicity led Sara over to her bed and lifted the covers on the side of the bed that hadn't already been unmade by her sleeping. She gestured for Sara to lay down under the covers, and Sara was hesitant for only a moment before she submitted to Felicity's silent request and climbed into the bed, too tired to fight against something that she honestly wanted anyway. Her genius techie climbed in on the other side, and as Sara felt her body being drawn into the comfort of Felicity's arms by gentle, unassuming hands, Sara was again amazed by the sense of safety that wrapped around her like the warm blankets she laid under. Felicity's fingers threaded through her hair as she rubbed soothing circles on Sara's scalp in the comfortable, darkened silence.

When Felicity's fingertips stopped their movements, Sara suspected her friend had fallen asleep, so she was surprised when Felicity's voice suddenly sounded, "Sara?"

Already half-asleep herself, Sara quietly hummed in acknowledgment. "Hmm?"

Felicity hesitated. " . . . My arms will always be open to you . . . any time you want to feel safe," she said in a slow, meaningful way.

Sara sat up enough to look down at Felicity's open and sincere face. "You would be my safe place?" she asked, feeling touched and astonished by what she suspected Felicity was offering.

With complete honesty apparent in her blue eyes, Felicity answered, "I'd do anything for you" – she paused and smirked – "but you tend to have that effect on people," she added, echoing words that Sara had once spoken to her.

Sara wasn't sure what to say. She didn't know how to express her deep gratitude or confess her ever-growing love to the girl who held her so securely in her arms that, for a moment at least, Sara was able to feel a sense of safety. But it was more than that. It was as if fate had her right where she was predestined to be, as if everything Sara had ever gone through in her life – all the trials, hardships, victories and defeats, pain, and close encounters – had been leading her here to this place, to this night, to this love, to this one pivotal moment with Felicity. To exactly where she belonged.

Sara wasn't sure if there was anything to say. Words, though beautiful, were often meaningless in the grand scheme of things, and this moment was anything but meaningless.

This moment was everything.

Too bad it could never last.

Laurel answered the knock at her door and was not entirely surprised to find her sister waiting on the other side. Sara smiled weakly and Laurel stepped aside to let her younger sister in. As soon as the door was closed, Sara had thrown her arms around Laurel's neck and held her tight.

"Hey, hey," Laurel said, wrapping her own arms around Sara's back, "what happened? What's wrong?"

Sara only continued to hold on as she said, "Don't worry, the world's not ending. I just really need my big sister right now."

"I'm here. I'm right here, Sare-Bear," Laurel told her, using the long forgotten nickname for her baby sister. It was only once it was out of her mouth that Laurel realized how much she had missed saying it. "I love you," she added in a hesitant but hopeful tone.

Something inside of Sara, some pressure that seemed to have been building and holding for years, was suddenly released at the words. She pulled away from her sister's embrace and held Laurel's face in her hands. "I love you too," Sara answered.

Laurel smiled, relieved to hear the requited sentiment from her aloof little sister. She turned Sara and put an arm around her shoulders, leading her into the kitchen. "Can I get you some coffee?" she asked.

"Do you have tea?" Sara asked. "Coffee hypes me up, right now I just want to let go of all the tension."

Sitting Sara down at her breakfast bar, Laurel buzzed around her kitchen with ease and grace. "Just like Mom," Laurel commented. "After the divorce, she was the same way. Dad still drinks coffee by the pot. Always has. Green tea, okay?" Laurel glanced over her shoulder at Sara.

The blonde smiled softly. "Perfect," she replied. She sat in thought for a moment while Laurel boiled water. There was no one she would rather talk to than her sister, but to do so meant having to tell Laurel everything, and that was going to be a long, difficult tale to tell. "Do you have to be anywhere any time soon?"

The questioned seemed to catch Laurel off-guard, but she recovered quickly. "No. No, I'm in between cases so I took a day off. Why?"

Sara hesitated again, unsure if this was really such a good idea, but she needed to talk about it. "You said that you didn't need to know about where I've been, what I've been doing, how I stayed alive for the past six years," Sara recounted slowly. She gave Laurel a serious look and continued, "But I need you to know. At least some of it. I need you to know because those six years changed me in ways that even I can't fully understand."

Laurel leaned across the bar and set a cup of green tea next to Sara, and then took hold of her sister's hands. "Okay."

Sara paused, weighing the look on Laurel's face before she said anything else. "I was on the island with Ollie for a while, but then we got separated, and that . . ." – Sara sighed and looked away, shaking her head – "is a whole long and complicated different story altogether. The point is, something happened and I was knocked unconscious and almost lost at sea again. I washed ashore on a piece of wreckage from a freighter ship. I was weak and starving and cold, and I was still in the middle of nowhere. I couldn't move, I could barely open my eyes."

Sara felt Laurel's hand clutch hers a little tighter just as a glint of worry and horror flashed in her eyes. Sara pressed on, knowing that if she didn't tell Laurel now, then she never would. "Nyssa al Ghul was the one who found me," Sara explained. "She brought me back to her home in the city of Nanda Parbat, and nursed me back to health. Her father was the leader of the League of Assassins, and he took me in. He taught me how to fight, how to use a weapon, and . . . how to kill. I owed them a debt for saving my life, so I was sworn into the League. All the killing, the assassinations, they burned my soul until I couldn't feel anything anymore, nothing except for one thing, one person: Nyssa. I fell in love with her and we were together. I loved her."

Laurel studied her little sister's face. "Sara, I already knew most of that," she told her sister gently. "I knew about the killing and about what you think it's done to who you are, and if you're trying to tell me that you're not exactly straight as a ruler, Sare, I already knew that too."

Sara looked up into Laurel's eyes. "You did?"

"Yeah. I mean, I didn't know you were in love with a female assassin, obviously," Laurel commented.

Sara laughed. A real laugh this time, because, out of every unbelievable thing Sara had told her, she should have trusted Laurel to take from their conversation the part that Sara was of the least consequence. "Is is the 'female' or the 'assassin' part that bothers you?"

"Assassin," Laurel answered. She seemed to hesitate for a moment and then, "Does Dad know about any of this?"

Sara nodded and barked out a laugh. "His mind was pretty blown too," she offered, then she shrugged, "but he seemed fine with it once he had processed everything."

"The 'female' or the 'assassin' part?" Laurel asked.

"All of it," Sara answered. "I was here in Starling City before, right after the quake. I had to make sure you guys were alright. A member of the League followed me here, and I knew he would go after you or dad, and I wanted you guys to leave town for a couple of days. I sent a friend to tell dad, but he wouldn't listen to them. I had to tell him myself. Then the assassin came after him and the truth sort of just spilled out from there, and I had to disappear again." Sara looked down briefly. "I told him not to tell you or Mom. I knew that if either of you knew I was still alive, that you would never stop looking for me, and it would get you killed."

Laurel paused. "And we will be having a chat about that at a later date, but now," she said, looking into her little sister's eyes, "what does any of this have to do with right now? I mean, you're home, you seem to have made peace with Nyssa al Ghul–"

"There were conditions for that peace, Laur," Sara told her before she could lose her nerve. "Someday, she's going to come back here and she's going to ask me to go with her somewhere, and I'll have to go. I still owe a debt to Ra's al Ghul and the League. Nyssa released me, so it won't be forever, but I'll still have to leave."

Laurel nodded thoughtfully. She didn't like the idea of her sister leaving to go on some dangerous adventure with a world-class assassin, but if it meant that Sara would return to them completely free, then maybe it was worth it. "So you'll go, you'll settle your debt with the al Ghuls, and you'll come home," Laurel summarized. "So what's the catch? Why do you look like it's the end of the world?"

Sara folded her hands on the table. "Before Nyssa . . . I'd never been attracted to other women," Sara stated simply. "I was boy-crazy. So . . . I just assumed that I didn't like women, I just loved Nyssa, just the one woman. I thought it might have been because she was a source of comfort and support and affection in a world where those things were almost nonexistent. I fell in love with her because we connected, and I thought that she was an anomaly." Sara stared straight ahead. "Then I came home, and I met someone, and she was so different from Nyssa, from anyone I'd ever met really. She's . . ." Sara searched for the right words to describe the object of her affections, "genius and she's funny and sweet and cute, and she has got one of the purest hearts I have known. She's like this light in my dark world."

Laurel smirked knowingly. "Yeah, about that– What is going on with you and Felicity?" she asked none too subtly.

Sara choked on her sip of tea. "What?!" she gasped, still sputtering from having aspirated her hot tea.

"I've known you your whole life, Sara, I'm your big sister. I know," Laurel replied meaningfully. "And you still haven't answered my question."

Shaking her head as if to shake off her shock, Sara said, "Nothing. Nothing is going on with me and Felicity."

Laurel frowned. "Why not?"

"Because that's not– I mean, she doesn't–" Sara stuttered, then she sighed. "It's not like that."

The smile on Laurel's face was one of victory. "But you want it to be," she guessed excitedly, sitting up straighter at attention. Sara was pretty sure she didn't like the gleam in her big sister's eyes.

"Even if I did," Sara began, knowing she was walking straight into Laurel's trap, "I couldn't. I mean, what's going to happen if we start something, and then Nyssa reappears and I have to leave again? Felicity deserves a lot better, and, let's face it, Laur, I'm damaged goods here. Felicity needs someone undamaged, someone normal."

"We are talking about the same Felicity Smoak right? The same Felicity who, not six months ago, shot a super soldier hell-bent on revenge through the throat with an arrow to save your life? I'm pretty sure 'normal' isn't what she's looking for. And, not to sound patronizing–"

"Here we go," Sara muttered.

"But she's good for you, Sara."

"But I'm not good for her," Sara argued back. She let her gaze fall down to her tea and she tried to fix her attention solely on the compulsive click of her fingernail against the ceramic mug.

After a long moment Laurel turned towards her and asked, "Do you want to know what I think?"

Sara rolled her eyes at her older sister. "No, but since I know you're going to tell me anyway . . ."

"I think that you're scared," Laurel continued as expected, "of letting someone in, because you have lived in this world of shadows for so long that you think that that's who you are now and it's not, Sara." Laurel looked at Sara earnestly. "You think you've been consumed by the darkness and that has made you terrified of letting yourself be happy and of letting someone else make you happy. And I think you know – in the very core of who you are, Sara – that that 'someone' could be Felicity. Because she sees that light that's still inside of you and she makes it burn brighter. I think you've found a piece of yourself in Felicity and a sign of salvation from the universe, and you're afraid you don't deserve it, when really you do..." Laurel looked down at her cup of cooling tea and muttered conclusively, "So get over yourself and let her decide. She's smarter than you anyway."

Sara sat back and smiled at her older sister. "All that just to tell me you think I need to get over myself?" she question amusedly.

"Sometimes I find that if I spell things out for you explicitly, they tend to get through your thick skull a little better," Laurel responded offhandedly. The careless and matter-of-fact way that Laurel threw that out there made Sara laugh. "Felicity is a genius, Sara," Laurel continued, "and she's been slowly putting those allegedly broken pieces of you back together for the last six months and you haven't even seen it, but I have. She loves you, Sara. And she's been waiting for you and, if you get called away on some final assassination mission, then she's still going to be here waiting when you get back. But you can't just stay stuck in this depressing place you're in until Nyssa calls you away again. You have to let yourself be happy. Right here, right now, because that's all we ever really have, and you can make the most of it or you can spend your time worrying about the next bad thing that will happen. Either way, you choose your own fate, Sara."

Sara nodded, mulling her older sister's words over in her mind. Part of her was proud to have a big sister like Laurel Lance, who knew all her best and worst qualities, and who loved her and forgave her all the same. Another part of her was annoyed at Laurel for always making sense and being right, despite the fact that she should have been used to this after almost twenty-seven years of life (minus the six they had spent disconnected from each other).

"Laur?"

"Yeah."

Sara looked at her sister with the same earnest look that Laurel often gave to her. "Thank you," she said.

Laurel's eyebrows drew together in skepticism. "For what?"

"For being my big sister and loving me," Sara answered sentimentally. "I know I haven't always made it easy for you."

Laurel rolled her eyes. "I wasn't really given much of a choice in the matter," she laughed softly. She reached her fingers forward and tucked a few wayward strands of light hair behind Sara's ear. "You've never made anything easy for me since the day you were born, but even when I want to hate you, I still love you. And I always will. Now drink your tea before it gets cold."

It had been later in the evening when Felicity had answered her door. The mere fact that Sara was standing in her doorway, having knocked on the door when Felicity had gotten so used to Sara coming freely in and out of her apartment through the fire escape, seemed like a valid cause for alarm in Felicity's mind. To her, this apartment was just as much Sara's home as it was hers. She was worried about why Sara suddenly seemed to think that there was a need for formalities between them.

"Sara–?" she began.

Sara held up a hand to stop her. "Wait," she demanded not unkindly. "There's something I need to say and if I don't get it all out now, I maybe never will."

"Okay," Felicity whispered softly. She reached out gently and wordlessly and pulled Sara across her threshold and into the apartment, before closing the door behind her. Her gaze never left Sara's face.

"My heart is damaged," Sara said, looking into Felicity's eyes. "It has been burned and blackened and damaged beyond all conceivable belief, and it is just as scarred as the rest of me. And even before all that damage was done, giving my heart to someone else was never easy for me." She took Felicity's hands in her own shaking ones and held them to her chest as she said earnestly, "But, Felicity Smoak, you have shown me, more than anyone else ever could have, that I still have a heart to give. And I know that you deserve a better heart, one that's strong and whole and pure, like yours. You deserve better, Felicity, but I think my heart is still worth taking a chance on . . and it's yours, if you ever decide you want it."

Felicity's gaze quickly rose from where it had been trained on their joined hands to look into Sara's eyes. She saw only sincerity, fear, and a small glimmer of hope in them. Her feet shuffled a small step closer to Sara, bringing their bodies flush together. Her right hand moved to cradle Sara's face gently.

"This," Felicity began, she pressed her left palm flat over Sara's heartbeat, "is mine?" It was asked with such disbelief that Sara had to smile.

"It is," she answered.

Nervously Felicity asked, "You're sure that it's me? Not Oliver or Nyssa or-or anyone else? Just me?"

Sara smiled softly and pressed her lips to Felicity's cheek. "It's you, Felicity. I'm sure of it. All I am and all I ever will be is yours." Sara lifted her hands to run them through Felicity's silky hair. "They say that the heart wants what it wants, and my heart wants you. Is that okay with you?"

Felicity let out a happy, breathy little laugh. "Oh God yes," she sighed in relief, leaning in and capturing Sara's lips in a deep, hungry and desperate kiss that took Sara completely by surprise.

Abruptly, Felicity was gone and Sara opened her eyes to find the girl she loved looking at her in abject embarrassment. "Sara, I'm sorry. I know that was way too forward. You just– You were standing there looking all gorgeous and honest," Felicity burst. "And I just . . . Are you really angry?"

Sara had to clear her throat a few times before she found her voice. "No," she answered, looking tenderly at Felicity. She took a step to bring their bodies back together. "No, I'm not angry. I am the furthest thing from angry. It's not every day that I get unexpectedly kissed senseless by a beautiful woman who I've been secretly pining after for months."

"Beautiful– Months?! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Felicity asked. She bit her bottom lip and Sara found it both distracting and utterly enticing.

"I didn't know if you would be . . . receptive . . " Sara trailed off.

The sound of Felicity sucking in a surprised gasp was all that could be heard between them until she finally leaned in just a little, barely rested her fingertips on Sara's face, met her eyes, and asked, "Would you mind if I kissed you again–?"

"Please," Sara said before Felicity had even gotten all her words out.

This time when Felicity surged forward to kiss Sara, Sara met her halfway. Their lips fused together as Sara's hands fisted in the fabric of Felicity's dress and Felicity held the back of Sara's head with one hand while the other pulled her as close as the laws of physics would allow. Felicity drew Sara's bottom lip into her mouth and suckled on it, savoring the taste and shape, and the deep, reverberating sound of the moan it elicited from her love. Teeth mashed, tongues tangled, and lips met over and over until the need for air became too great and both had to pull away at least far enough to rest their foreheads together while they drew new breath.

Felicity stole another lingering kiss from Sara's lips. "Trust me, Sara, when it comes to you, I'm very receptive," she confessed quietly. "I've wanted this for so long."

"Then why didn't you say anything sooner?" Sara teased.

"I was afraid," Felicity confessed shamefully.

Sara caught the back of Felicity's head, her fingers running through the impossibly soft strands of the other woman's hair. They were pulled together like magnets, so close that they were sharing the same air. Sara's fingertips rubbed Felicity's scalp soothingly.

"What were you afraid of?" Sara asked softly.

"Lots of things," Felicity answered breathlessly. She tilted her head to the side slightly and added, "You."

The Canary's fingers stopped scratching Felicity's head. "Me?" she asked as she took a step back. Her voice shook slightly and her face gave away her devastation and shame.

Felicity immediately followed her, taking a step forward to counter the step back that Sara had taken. "Not 'you' you! Not for the reason you're thinking," Felicity amended quickly. She took Sara's face in her hands and pulled the older girl closer to her again. "You know that I have never been afraid of you for who you've been and what you've had to do to survive, Sara, not even a little bit. That wasn't it. I was afraid because I've never fallen for anyone like this before, and I knew that you . . . you're the first person in a really long time to have enough of me to break my heart. But I'm not afraid anymore, because I trust you more than anyone," Felicity told her genuinely. She looked deep into Sara's eyes. "My heart is yours too, Sara, and I am so with you in this 'everything I am and everything I ever will be is yours' feeling."

Sara's heart resonated with Felicity's words and the look in her blue eyes as she said them. Despite all of Sara's scars, all her crucibles, all her sins, and all the darkness that still shrouded her soul, Felicity had given her heart to Sara, and Sara had never wanted anything more. She felt that maybe Laurel was right. Maybe Felicity was the universe's way of granting Sara her salvation.

So there it is. Some of you say 'yay' to an M chapter and some of you say 'nay', so I think what I'm going to do is create a separate optional M chapter that you can read if you want to but you won't need to read in order to understand the storyline. Also, there's going to be about three or four more chapters of TLTSIOY and then, if you're into it, I'll write a sequel picking up where this story leaves off. So what do you think?

-HJ