Okay, so when I said "M-rated", I was thinking this was going to be much more explicit than it actually turned out. I know it's probably not what you all wanted, but I decided, with no disrespect meant to you guys, that this is my story and I have to right it the way I want to write it. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, because you've all been so, so awesome and I've appreciated every ounce of your support. So just give it a chance! Even if you're disappointed, you can yell at me in the reviews, but at least try it. Go on. Try...

– Concupiscence –

If Sara hadn't dreamt about this moment for as long as she had, then she might have surprised herself when she wrapped her arms around Felicity's back and pulled the younger girl into her body. To be fair, she was still pretty surprised with herself; in particular, with the level of restraint she was maintaining, because in all honesty, she had hoped that Felicity had not heard the unspoken 'and I'd really love to rip your clothes off you' that she had bit back every time she called Felicity cute. She was trying her very hardest not to lose all self-control and wind up taking Felicity right here in the livingroom. Sara was trying so hard to treat Felicity the way she deserved to be treated, and not end up kissing and marking every inch of Felicity's velvety soft skin until Felicity was undeniably, well, and truly made hers in every way possibly imaginable.

"You're tense," Felicity whispered, her forehead leant against Sara's and her breath ghosting across Sara's lips like a phantom kiss. Her nimble fingers ran up the length of Sara's spine, dipping in between the ridges created by each individual vertebrae. "Tell me why."

As much as Sara wanted to go slow, to take the time to savor every moment with Felicity, to revel in all their firsts, to treat Felicity with all the respect and care and adoration that Sara felt for her in her heart, Sara also felt as if their entire relationship had been an intense slow burn and, now that all their feelings had all been laid out, she wanted to let that burn become an inferno that she could allow herself to be consumed by entirely. She didn't want to have sex with Felicity. No, Sara wanted to be intimate with her, to make love to her, and to bare her very soul to Felicity in a way that she had never been able to with anyone else before.

She wanted love.

She wanted Felicity's love.

"I'm holding you as close as I can," Sara began with a shuddery breath, "and I still feel like it isn't close enough."

Before Sara knew what was happening, the two of them were moving, and then suddenly Sara's back met the wall. Felicity's lips covered hers and Sara's hands slid into her hair as she kissed Felicity hungrily, as if she thought that maybe she could satisfy her urge by simply kissing Felicity, but the kiss only served to fan the flames of her desire. Felicity broke away for a moment, only enough for Sara to realize that Felicity's eyes were no longer their usual cerulean but instead a deep shade of midnight blue.

"That's because it's not," Felicity replied in a throaty tone that shot another shock of lust straight to Sara's core. Her darkened eyes gazed into Sara's imploringly as she continued softly, "I want this, if you do."

Sara felt breathless at the implications of Felicity's words, spoken with such love and reverence and complete sincerity. "I don't want to rush this," Sara told her.

"We waited nearly a year to tell each other how we felt," Felicity pointed out. Her fingertips caressed the plains of Sara's face with the same amount of gentleness that Sara heard in her voice. "These feelings between us have been building for so long . . . I don't think we could rush this if we tried. We've held ourselves back for long enough, I think it's time we started catching up now."

"You make some very valid points, Miss Smoak." Sara could feel a euphoric beam splitting her face as she tucked a few loose strands of hair behind Felicity's ear, "But are you sure that this is what you want?" Her green eyes looked into Felicity's blue ones.

Felicity's gaze turned softer and sad, her eyes losing some of their lusty quality, and Sara thought for sure that her words had managed to wake Felicity from whatever infatuated illusion had previously taken hold of her, and Sara could see the gears turning in her almost-lover's head. Then Felicity spoke.

"Sara, I'm yours." Felicity rubbed her hands up and down Sara's biceps before looking into her eyes again. She gave Sara a moment to let her words sink in, "You should never doubt that you are exactly what I want. I am telling you that I want to be with you, if that is what you want too."

Sara rested her head against Felicity's forehead. "That's what I want. More than anything," she confessed.

At Sara's admittance, Felicity could feel the woman's entire body let go of the tension it had held and become relaxed. She kissed Sara's head, her cheeks, and her lips, then she took Sara by the hand and began leading her into the bedroom. She closed the door behind them and turned to watch Sara's silhouette in the contrast created by the brightness of the streetlights that fell in through the window. For a moment they stood there, simply looking at one another, and then Felicity took a few steps closer, drawn toward Sara by that innate magnetism that was ever-present between them. Sara reached out and slipped an arm around the small of Felicity's back, bringing them together again.

Despite Felicity's theory that they needed to catch up – to make up for all the time they had lost while being irrationally afraid of voicing their feelings for each other – there was nothing quick or hurried about the way that they came together. When they kissed, there was still the same hunger and lust for one another that they had shown before, but they didn't proceed with reckless abandon. The moment seemed to take on a life of its own, moving in slow and sensuous motions. Every moment, every breath, every sweet touch was cherish and committed to memory.

Sara gripped the hem of her own shirt and pulled it over her head, letting it fall to the floor of Felicity's bedroom, before she rested her hands on Felicity's waist just underneath her shirt. Her fingers felt electrified as they touched bare skin. She searched the younger woman's blue eyes for a sign of permission and, when Felicity nodded, Sara's hands slowly moved up Felicity's sides, pushing the fabric higher and higher until Felicity lifted her arms above her head and Sara pulled off the shirt entirely.

Felicity set her hands on Sara's waist and began gently pushing her backwards, until the backs of Sara's knees bumped against the bed and she fell back against it. She pushed herself back, closer to the headboard, and Felicity crawled after her. Her knees found their places on either side of Sara's hips and Felicity leaned down slowly to kiss Sara's lips in a way that made the rest of the older girl's world feel hazy and surreal.

Their lips parted when neither of them could breathe any longer, Felicity continued kissing down Sara's jaw and neck, pausing to pay extra attention to the woman's pulse point. Sara knew that what Felicity was doing to her would leave a mark, but she honestly didn't care. Felicity sucked ardently on the pulsating skin and bit down gently before soothing the bite with her tongue. She paused and pulled back to skim her thumb over the area where a darkness was already blooming on Sara's skin.

Just like she had that day in the lair when her only intention had been to put Sara back together after she'd been shot (again), Felicity's hands skimmed the slope of Sara's neck, across her shoulders, pushing her bra straps aside. Tresses of hair tickled Sara's skin as Felicity bent her head to kiss the newly exposed skin, and Sara felt her stomach coil. Her hands reached up behind Felicity's back and unhooked the clasp of the other woman's bra, and Felicity allowed it to fall away, flinging it carelessly to another part of the room.

As Felicity sat back again, Sara couldn't help but breathe, "My God you're so beautiful." A smile spread across Felicity's swollen lips, and even in the darkness of the room, Sara could have sworn she caught the faintest hint of a blush burning its way across Felicity's cheeks.

Sara propped herself up on her elbows, causing Felicity to slide onto her lap so that Sara could pull herself up, the muscles of her abdomen flexing as she did so. Her lips trailed openmouthed kisses across Felicity's chest, before latching onto one already peaked nipple. She heard Felicity gasp as she suckled on the hardened nub, swirling her tongue around it as her hand palmed her lover's other breast, and Felicity's nimble fingers slid into her hair, holding Sara right where she wanted her.

Then suddenly Felicity was on her back, with Sara hovering over her with a perfectly adorable smirk. She sat back on her heels and put her hands on Felicity's hips, slowly dragging the skirt that Felicity had been wearing down the girl's legs until it too fell to the floor. Sara kicked off her shoes and socks and wiggled out of her own jeans, putting perhaps showing off the motions of her hips more than was truly necessary when she saw that Felicity was watching her, and shrugged off her bra before climbing back onto the bed. Sara noticed the little pout on Felicity's face when her body settled on top of the other girl's warm skin.

"What's wrong?" Sara asked softly, fingers caressing Felicity's face and hair.

"Next time, I get to take your clothes off you," Felicity stated with no room for argument.

Sara smiled happily and pressed a brief kiss to her love's lips. "Just as long as there's a next time," Sara said. She bent her head again and her lips melded with Felicity's mouth effortlessly in a passionate kiss, her hair falling around them like a curtain.

She hadn't ever wanted anything like she wanted Felicity in that moment, and she had never, ever felt so safe being so open to someone, but Felicity made it easy. With every brush of her fingers to Sara's most intimate places, with every soft moan that came from her parted lips when Sara touched her, and with every kiss shared between them, there was a deep love and gentleness and hope. There was a sense that this was exactly where each of them belonged.

"Sara!" Felicity gasped breathlessly as she felt herself clench around Sara's thrusting fingers.

"I know, baby. It's okay," Sara whispered into her lover's ear, cradling Felicity ever closer to her body.

And Sara was right there with her, inside her, all around her, turned on both by the tightness of Felicity's walls around her fingers and her own walls closing around the fingers Felicity was curling inside of her. She felt the pressure build in her until it reached its breaking point, and she could tell from the sound of Felicity's shrill cry that Felicity had reached her peak too. For several moments, Sara enjoyed the hot, tingly feeling of being pulled from all sides, weightless and dizzy, waves of pleasure rolling through every one of her muscles, and the only thing she was aware of outside of this feeling was Felicity's free hand clutching onto her own.

After some time, the world ebbed back into focus slowly and Sara was left with a feeling of complete delirium as she rolled off of Felicity and onto her back beside her. Sara's senses returned to her and she turned her head as her eyes fluttered open. Her entire vision was immediately filled with soft, periwinkle eyes and an adorably crooked, sleepy smile. Sara thought to herself that no moment could ever be as perfect as the one she was living in now, as she looked at Felicity's beautifully flushed face.

"Wow," Sara breathed, unable to form anything more coherent than that.

"Yeah," Felicity agreed softly. A hesitant look crossed her facial features. "Was I . . ?"

"Amazing," Sara told her adamantly. She lifted a hand to rest on Felicity's heated cheek. "Just like you are at everything else you do."

Felicity nodded minutely. "Good, I just wasn't sure . . ." she trailed off, feeling suddenly self-conscious as she laid next to Sara.

"Felicity," Sara said, drawing the girl's attention away from her apprehensive thoughts, "you were incredible. How could you ever not be?"

The flush on Felicity's cheeks changed to a violent blush. "Sometimes I fail epically the first time I do something," Felicity admitted quietly.

"Well you definitely didn't fail at all tonight," Sara laughed softly, rubbing her thumb across Felicity's cheek.
If only Felicity had known that she was the best Sara had ever had, the only one to make Sara feel the way she had tonight. A thought struck Sara like a ton of bricks, and she could have sworn she felt her heart stop dead in its rhythm inside her chest. She looked at Felicity as the meaning of the younger woman's words finally began to take root in Sara's still-hazy mind. She propped herself up on one elbow.
"Wait," she said, and Felicity suddenly looked nervous again. "You said 'first time'. . . as in, the first time?"

Felicity propped herself up too. "Well not 'the first time', obviously. I mean, I was married at one point, but it's different with a woman a-and you've . . . you've had experience with this and I . . . I haven't. Like, at all," she rambled in between shallow, shuddery breaths. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "Maybe I should have told you, but–"

"Felicity," Sara said to stop the next onslaught of panicked words that were about to tumble from Felicity's beautiful mouth. She moved forward and captured Felicity's lips in a soft, lingering kiss meant to assuage some of the obvious fear and discomfort Felicity was feeling. When she pulled back, their eyes met and Sara smiled gently. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I just didn't know, and it took me by surprise."

"You weren't even a little suspicious?" Felicity asked skeptically.

Sara smiled. "Not at all," she answered, finding humor in her answer. "I thought maybe in college or . . ."

"Like I said," Felicity began, "I don't let my hair down much." She paused, looking like she was reluctant to say whatever else was on her mind. Her eyes looked scared when they looked into Sara's green ones. "Does this . . . change anything? I mean, do you still–"

"It doesn't change anything, Fliss. It doesn't change my opinion of you and it definitely doesn't change the way I feel about you," Sara assured her. Then she rethought her statement and added, "Well, it does, because I am now even more insanely impressed and turned on by you, but aside from that . . ." – she leant in to kiss Felicity again – "no change. My heart is completely yours, Felicity Smoak, and you would be hard pressed to ever change that."

Felicity smiled with relief. "Good, because I don't think I could go back to being your cute sidekick after all of this."

Sara's eyebrows rose mischievously, and she wrapped her arms around a smiling and squirming Felicity and drew their bodies flush to one another as she moved to hover over the love of her life again. "Oh, you're always going to be cute," Sara told her with a sweet laugh, "but you've never been just my sidekick. You're my hero, Felicity Smoak. You're my everything." Sara lowered herself to kiss Felicity with every intention of making sure that there was no way Felicity ever forgot that.

So . . . was it terrible?