The Prejudice of Dwarves and Sneak of Elves

I've changed this and added a bit more original insults to this. There is a more likely chance of Gimli marrying Gandalf than me owning Lord of the Rings.

A word from Tintcalad: Hey everyone. Sorry it took so long. It's mainly my fault! NOT Olympics! Now if you find any errors that I missed, kindly point them out. Now on with the story!

Never before had such foul Elvish and Dwarvish met my ears.

They had been going on about it a while now. I suppose that's just how hatred between two different races works. Pardon my tongue, that elf seems to have worn on me... Perhaps when we reach Moria I can shove him to the watcher and then write more modernly.

Departing from Rivendell was hard, almost a tearful moment. Leaving one safe haven to take on an unknown world and... Yeah, no matter how much Pippin's paying me, I can't stand writing like this.

We had started our journey on the 25 of December, at dawn if I remember. I'd say it's about a day or two away from New Years; I made Legolas and Pippin dance that night.

But I'm getting off track! Just so you know, we're somewhere along the slopes of the Misty Mountains now. It's cold, bitter, and icy; and all those two racist and bigoted insufferable toe-rags can do is bicker and say things that me, the lady most likely suffering from Tourette Syndrome, would blush at if I ever knew the meanings of.

A foul oath, "Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina!" had escaped Legolas' sharp mouth that horrid day.

It must have been some foul cruelty against his mother because Gimli replied scornfully in Elvish, yes Elvish, with, "Lle saura' edhel! Auta n'alaquel tuulo' manke lle ier tuulo' ar' il n'alaquel sinome!"

Perhaps Legolas had thought Gimli would not understand more than that, because it was vaguely known what he said to me, but Gimli laughed at, "Pedin i phith in aníron, a nin ú- cheniatho."

To which he replied with a taunting breath, "Engwar lle kwentra amin en' amin curu e' i' edhel lammen."

I was perplexed. Since when had Gimli learned Elvish? And since when have I had such a vast vocabulary? They had, thankfully, called it off with laughing; that is until nightfall.

The white wolves howled in the distance, somewhere, I felt as if only I could hear them. Was it only because I alone knew they were there, without traces of any evidence? I shivered and buried myself deeper into my thin blanket and cloak. Now would be a very Mary-Sueish time for Legolas to drape his cloak over me and sing 'our song', the sweetest of lullabies echoing off his lips.

But instead, as I got up, I looked to see no elven-prince with romance in his eyes, nor any hobbits, and certainly no ranger or a psychotic rapist and rather sexist Gondorian man. I, to my utter annoyance, saw the two bickering head to, well, that is at Gimli's level, elf-chest.

"N'uma saura' quena tuulo' lle atta!" I snapped in Elvish, I had learned mainly various insults; this was more just a pick-me-up thing like mellon. "Give your bickering like two housewives a rest!" I huffed, "Honestly, so much for the courteous nature of Elves and decent words from Dwarvish-kind." I curled once more into my thin coat, hissing at the coldness of my sudden contact.

It was naught 'till morn that I realized the aftermath of my scolding the night before. My world was spinning and my head pounded as if drunk. But I was not, no, instead I was hanging upside down from a particularly high tree branch that puzzled me how it was there.

"Hello?" I had hollered into the distance, my voice didn't seem all that loud on the outside as it did in the in. "HELLO?" I called much louder. "When I get my hands on the person responsible..." I screamed in frustration. The bonds were tight, cutting off feeling in my legs and rewarding me with a brutal headache.

It seemed almost as if forever before Gandalf felt he should happen to come by. He quickly released me of my bindings and asked me if I remembered anything. I did what any girl-though any out there would surprise me-stuck in that current situation would. I lied. I did not tell Gandalf of the foolish bickering that conversed between the elf and dwarf.

When I entered camp once more I was near tackled by Aragorn in check of wounds. Pippin wouldn't release me, in any fact. But the elf had a smug grin on his face that made me want to slap it silly. The dwarf bore a twinkle of amusement anytime he looked me in the eye. I may be no Fëanor, but it doesn't even take an orc to figure out who is to take the secret responsibility.

Caradhras seemed a small pebble to step over when I thought about traveling with those two racist, prejudice, bigoted, annoying and positively arrogant dunces. I know I shouldn't do this, but we've been grounded in snow for a while and had stopped to make temporary camp.

Middle Earth is bigoted, sexist, prejudice, racist and a whole lot of other things. What does, though, set Legolas and Gimli apart from others, is that when they hear that they're so, they react quite cunningly. They trap you in your most tranquil state of mind so long as it remains so.

Curses, they're coming over.

Translations:

Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina!- You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny!
Lle saura' edhel! Auta n'alaquel tuulo' manke lle ier tuulo' ar' il n'alaquel sinome- You foul elf! Go back from where you are from and not back here!
Pedin i phith in aníron, a nin ú- cheniatho- I can say what I wish, and you won't understand me!
Engwar lle kwentra amin en' i' curu amin n'uma e' i' edhel lambe- Ill you tell me of the skill I no in the elf language.
N'uma saura' quena tuulo' lle atta - No foul speech from you two!
Mellon- Friend

This tense thing is that she's writing present tense about past tense experiences. Hopefully I cleared that up. If anyone didn't find the flaw, it's prejudice. Let's face it, elves and dwarves are prejudice no matter how much I believe Gandalf in the book when he said they were once friends. I also think that Ruth is a bit of someone who would learn some elvish, because you do pick it up, I was trading insults with my beta in elvish for fun and I've learned some pretty useful (and highly insulting) phrases that now come naturally. I got lazy with Gimli though and made him use elvish because there's only one Dwarvish insult, One.

Question of the chapter: If you could break canon with anyone in the Fellowship, who would it be?