Callie

After talking to Stef, I head upstairs to begin getting ready for bed. I truly am going to try. I want a good progress report for Jude's sake, since my actions seem to always reflect badly on him when they shouldn't. I almost make it to the bathroom when Brandon pokes his head out of his room.

"Wait," he says, "Come in here for a second."

I raise an eyebrow at him, "Why?"

"I want to give you something."

"What?"

"Well, if you came into my room you'd find out."

I don't like this.

His behavior is reminding me too much of Liam. He's different, obviously. He's a goody two-shoes who's worst offense was probably not closing the toothpaste when he was done. Still, it's like muscle memory. I can't shake that uneasy feeling. Throwing all caution to the wind, I follow Brandon into his room. It's what I expected: cluttered with random boy stuff.

"Wait there," he tells me and disappears behind a curtain of beads that hang in a doorway. He's out of sight for a minute before he returns with a guitar in his hand. He holds it out to me, "Here."

I look around somewhat confused, "What?"

"For you. You know, so you can practice."

I shake my head, "I don't want to keep your guitar from you."

He grins, "Well, it's not my guitar. It's yours."

My eyes widen and my mouth drops open. He can't seriously be giving me his guitar. He doesn't even know me. I literally just got moved from the couch into an actual bed and he wants to give me a gift?

"I…I can't take that."

Brandon's eyebrows furrow and he looks genuinely confused, "Why not?"

"It's yours," I say matter-of-factly, "You can't just…I can't."

"Sure you can," he says and holds out the guitar even closer, "Please? Look, you'd be doing me a favor. I barely even use this thing anymore because I'm always practicing piano. It's just gathering dust here in my room. You can play it."

"I told you I forgot," I remind him.

Brandon shrugs, "Eh. You'll pick it up again." He thrusts it at me so fast that I have no choice but to take it from him. I would be lying if I said just holding it didn't make me feel better, because it did.

"I'm gonna shower now," Brandon announces, "So if you could just…" He makes a scooting motion with his hand.

I smile and begin to back out of the room, "Thanks for letting me borrow this."

"Not a loner!" He calls after me as I leave.

Stef

I feel like my conversation with Callie was a turning point of sorts. Today is Saturday as well as Callie's first group therapy session. I am going to take her while Lena stays home and preps Jude for the Anchor Beach placement test he and his sister were able to put off for some time. From what Lena gathered from their teachers, Callie won't have a problem with it but Jude just might. That's expected: five different schools in the past six years…it's a miracle these kids haven't been held back.

I'm sitting in the kitchen, lost in my thoughts, when Lena strolls in. Of course she'd be the first one up―the kids never get up early when they can help it. She circles the table to come to my side and greet me with a kiss. She tastes like toothpaste.

"Morning," she says before moving across the kitchen to grab the tea kettle so she can fill it up, "You're taking Callie to group?"

"Yup. You're gonna tutor Jude?"

"Yup."

Lena continues to fix her tea and I turn my attention to figuring out breakfast. Pretty soon, Jesus will come into the kitchen very much like the French storming the Bastille and God forbid there isn't food on the table; he might just burst a blood vessel. I shuffle over to the fridge and start pulling out the ingredients I need to make pancakes. Tea in hand, Lena settles down on a stool and watched me work for a bit.

"I want Jude to do well on his test," she tells me as she brings her mug up to her mouth, "He's such a good kid. So sweet…"

I grin, "And you said I was the one getting attached."

She sticks her tounge out at me and laughs.

Callie

The only feeling I could liken to the car ride to see Dr. Kodema is going to the doctors. Nobody wants to be pricked and prodded and when you go to the doctor, that's exactly what's going to happen. When you're sitting in the waiting room, you know that what happens next is going to be uncomfortable and there's no getting out of it.

That's how I feel about group.

I know I told myself I was going to make an effort but I don't know if I can stay true to my word. What do I have to do to get out of this? I glance at Stef from the corner of my eye. Her eyes are trained on the road in front of her and she's humming quietly along to the radio as if we were going to a freaking picnic instead of this dreaded therapy session. All too soon, we pull up in front of the building and Stef shuts the car off. She unbuckles her seatbelt and gets out, probably expecting me to do the same.

But I can't.

It's like my feet have been glued to the floor of the car. I don't want to go as far as to say I'm scared, but I'm definitely out of my element. For six years I've been told to shut up and all of a sudden I'm expected to just blab my sob story of a life to some lady I barely know in front of a group of kids whose lives are as fucked up as mine if not more?

"Callie?"

Stef has opened my door and she's waiting for me to get out of the car. I look up at her. She told me I could talk to her, no matter what, and I'm wondering about the validity of this statement. I chew on my lip for a bit before finally whispering a timorous, "I'm nervous."

She kneels down and takes my hands in hers, "Look at me, Sweets." I do, "Of course you're nervous. I don't expect you to be comfortable with this on day one. It's gonna take some getting used to. We just have to try, right?"

Stef said we and it makes me feel not so lonely.

"We can try." I say and the smile that appears on her face is so full of pure, unbridled joy. She squeezes my hands and helps me get out of the car.

"My name is Marcus. I'm fourteen. I've been in foster care for…three years? No wait, four."

We're sitting in a circle, going around and introducing ourselves. So far, every introduction I've heard has been depressing. Not that there's anything good about the system, I just thought that at least someone would have a heartfelt tale of finding a perfect family. I don't know if it's comforting to hear that people are in the same boat as me or just more depressing.

"Thank you for that, Marcus," I hear Dr. Kodema saying, "Callie?"

Oh god it's my turn.

"Um, I'm Callie," I say, crossing my legs, "I'm sixteen years old. I've been in the system for six years." I look at Dr. Kodema because I don't know what else to say.

"Okay," she nods her head encouragingly, "Why are you in the system?"

I shift uncomfortably and look at my hands, "My dad, um…my dad killed my mom." I mumble really fast. I can hear the inhales of shock, see the heads shaking in sympathy from my peripheral vision.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Dr. Kodema says in this ridiculous voice and I just want to hit her, "And what has your experience been with the foster system?"

"Bad."

"How?"

"Just bad." She stares at me and I stare right back. No way am I about to delve into the woes of my past in front of a bunch of strangers. She finally gives up on me and moves onto some other girl.

Just thirty more minutes.

Lena

"So you carry the two and then you get…what?"

Jude looks at the math problem for a minute before tentatively looking up at me, "Is it sixty-four?"

I grin, "Correct! Good job, bud."

He smiles widely and I can tell that he is pleased with himself. It was a bit of a slow start. Jude was so afraid of getting a wrong answer that he refused to look at me let alone ask for help. We've been working for close to forty-five minutes now and he's beginning to get the hang of it.

"Let's take a break," I say, standing up from the dining room table, "You've been working really hard." I walk towards the kitchen, peeking over my shoulder to make sure Jude is following me. I pour two glasses of lemonade and put one in front of Jude.

"How do you like Anchor Beach so far?" I ask before taking a sip of my drink.

"It's really pretty," Jude answers, "I like how the beach is really close."

I nod, "Me too. Can I tell you a something?" Jude's eyes widen a bit and he gestures for me to continue.

"A big reason I applied for a job at the school was for the beach."

He grins, "Really?"

"Yes," I reply, resting my head in my hand, "It makes work not seem like work sometimes."

Jude finally picks up his glass, "I haven't been to the beach in a long time."

"How long?"

"Since before my mom died."

That was over six years ago.

I purse my lips, "We'll just have to make a trip of it, huh?"

He smiles.

Stef

I'm in my car waiting for Callie to get out of group. While she was there, I managed to run to the station and pick up some paperwork I needed to get done. She was so nervous at the beginning, but I'm glad she was able to admit that to me. It's a big step for her. I see the door open and Callie is the first one out. I'm not surprised by this. I open the passenger door for her as soon as she is close enough and she climbs in.

"How was it?"

"Fine."

"What'd you guys talk about?"

"Foster care."

I see she wasn't going to make this easy for me, "Did the other kids seem nice?"

"Mm hm."

I turn so that I can look at her. She's shaking her foot and her eyes keep darting to the building as though Dr. Kodema will come out any minute and drag her back in there. I can tell she wants to leave so I start the car and click my seatbelt into place.

"We're trying, right?" I ask.

It takes a moment, but Callie finally meets my eyes and gives me a hint of a smile, "Yeah," she says, "We're trying."

Callie

By the time we get to the house, I'm exhausted and want to just relax. I head to Mariana's room and of course she's in there on her laptop. She looks up momentarily before returning her gaze to whatever website she's on.

"Hey," she greets.

"Hey."

"Where'd you go again?"

I take a seat on my bed, "Group."

Mariana pulls a face, "Oh, God. That must have been awful."

I laugh a little, "It wasn't too bad." I rummage around in my backpack to find the book I was assigned for Timothy's class. The Handmaid's Tale: the plot is pretty weird but I find myself enjoying it.

"What are you reading?"

Wow. Mariana likes to talk.

"It's called The Handmaid's Tale," I answer her, holding the book so that she could see the cover, "It's basically about sex-slaves―"

"What?" Mariana sputters. Next thing I know, she's on my bed taking the book from me and turning it over so that she can read the summary on the back, "You can't be serious."

I shrug, "I am."

"I wish my English class read books like this," she said wistfully, handing the book back to me, "We're reading the Odyssey right now and it blows."

"I read it," I tell her, "I didn't think it was too bad."

Mariana's eyes light up, "Really? Do you think you could help me with my homework?" Her hands are clasped together and she looks so hopeful.

I nod, "Yeah. I mean it's been a while since I read it but I remember the main ideas."

Mariana squeals gleefully, "Great! I'll go get my books." She heads for the stairs so that she can grab her backpack from the living room. It's odd having someone besides Jude ask for my help and be so happy to receive it. She's only a year younger than me but Mariana gives me an idea of what it's like to have a little sister.

That will never happen.

I open my book to pick up my reading until Mariana returns with her homework.

"At moments like this I envy those who have found a safe haven in which to bestow their hearts; or perhaps I envy them for having a heart to bestow. I often feel that I myself am without one, and possess in its stead merely a heart shaped stone."

Stef

I finally walk into the house after finishing up my work at the station. Lena is getting started on dinner as per usual. She turns when she hears me entering the kitchen.

"Hey," she says, "How was work?"

"Good," I reply, "Same old, same old. How did it go with Jude?"

Lena's face lights up and she gestures for me to sit next to her at the table, "He's amazing Stef," she says to me in an awestruck voice, "There were some concepts he didn't understand but as soon as he did…" She lets out a breath, "He's such a smart boy! I just wish he had more time. He can do the work, Stef. He can. He just needs time to practice and absorb what he's learning."

If I didn't know any better, I would have though Lena was talking about one of our own children from the way she was carrying on about Jude. She's beaming and the pride in her eyes and in her posture cannot be denied. I take one of her hands and bring it to my lips to kiss it before simply holding it.

"That's amazing, Love," I say, "I can see that Jude is a very bright boy, just like his sister. What are those two up to?"

Lena turned her head to look out the backyard window, "Well Jesus is giving Jude a skateboard lesson."

I raise my eyebrow and walk towards the window to get a better look. Sure enough, Jude is standing on Jesus' skateboard while our son supervises from the sidelines. At least I think it's Jude. He has so much padding on its hard to tell.

"He looks like the Michelin Man," I quip, "Overkill much?"

Lena rolls her eyes and gets up to join me at the window, "Making sure he's safe isn't overkill."

"Captain Roberts would appreciate your input when she orders the new Kelvar vests for next year."

Lena whacks me on the arm and goes back to prepping dinner, "Callie and Mariana are upstairs."

"Doing what?"

She shrugs, "I haven't heard any yelling so I guess it's possible for them to coexist peacefully."

I smirk, "I'll go check on them," I say, "For all you know, Mariana has Callie hog tied in the closet with some scrunchies and put a pore strip on her mouth to keep her quiet." Lena laughs and shakes her head at me.

I head upstairs and walk towards the girls' room. I peek my head in the door to see what they are up to while at the same time trying to stay out of sight. The girls are both sitting on Mariana's bed, hunched over a notebook. Mariana has a pen in her hand that she's tapping against her thigh.

"Wait," she says, "So dramatic irony is when we know something the characters don't know…right?"

"Right."

"And an example of that is…how we know the beggar is really Odysseus but no one else does?"

Callie nods, "Exactly."

Mariana smiles, "This makes a lot more sense now. Thank you so much. You're like an English guru. And I'm not just hyperbolizing." She gives a prideful look at her new found vocabulary.

Callie barks out a laugh at this, "Cool it, Edgar Allen Poe. We still have three questions left."

I back out of the door way to leave them be. My heart is melting. I'm so glad this arrangement is working out. I know my kids are older now, but I can't help but worry that they'll feel put out when we bring foster kids into the house. It's like when a family gets a new baby and the older kid gets jealous. I worry for Brandon, who received two new siblings with very little notice and was forced to adapt. I worry for Jesus and Mariana, who Lena and I worked tirelessly with to make sure they felt like they were part of this family no matter what and that nothing could ever change that.

It feels so comfortable, to have Jesus teaching Jude how to ride a skateboard and for Callie to help Mariana with her homework. Now, more than before, I have to keep reminding myself in my head:

Temporary. Temporary. Temporary.

But…

What if it wasn't?

After getting off the phone with Brandon who is at Mike's for the weekend, I head to the backyard to find Callie who is sitting on the deck strumming away at Brandon's guitar. So she does know how to play. Interesting. I turn over the cell phone in my hand before heading outside. Callie's playing comes to an abrupt stop and although she doesn't turn around, I know she heard. I take a seat next to her and she moves the guitar off to the side.

I hold out the iPhone, "Here." She looks at me, confused, but takes the phone anyway, "It's yours," I tell her, "Lena and I put you on our plan. You have our numbers, of course, as well as Brandon, Jesus, and Mariana's. Keep it charged and on you at all times so if we ever need to reach you, we can."

Callie presses the home button on the phone and watches it light up to tell her the time. She looks up at me, "Thank you."

"No problem," I say. I look at the guitar, "You know how to play?"

Callie's eyes follow my gaze, "A little," she answers, "I forgot some of what she taught me."

"And who's that?" I ask, genuinely curious.

She looks down at the grass, "My mom." Suddenly Callie shoots to her feet, "I should go put this inside," she says, holding up the phone. She takes the guitar as well and disappears into the house.

And so I've fitted another piece of the Callie Jacob puzzle.

Work has been CRAZY! I work with kids with Autism and it's fun and rewarding but takes its toll on you. I have family friends visiting from Canada! They're from Haiti but after the earthquake they had to relocate. Montreal was a good choice because they speak French there (just like they do in Haiti).

Please review! I promise this story is going to pick up. I actually combined two chapters into one just to make up for how long it's been since I updated.

Till next time,

-Liv

P.S.-It's 2:30PM and I'm still in my pajamas…

P.P.S.-The Handmaid's Tale is an amazing book that I absolutely love!