Stef

Oh no.

Callie finally emerges from group some time after it has ended and she looks pissed. I called Dr. Kodema to tell her about Liam because I really want Callie to talk about what happened. Clearly she hasn't dealt with what happened in a proper, healthy manner. I watch as Callie walks toward the car, passes in front of it, and continues walking. Jumping into action, I start the car and push gently on the gas pedal so that I can cruise next to her.

"Where are you going?"

"To your house. Where else am I going to go?"

"Callie, please get in the car."

"No."

"Why?"

Callie stops and I hit the brakes. She whirls around, hands balled into fists at her side, "Why? Are you kidding me?! Do you always air your parolee's dirty laundry to the entire world?"

Well, I can't say I didn't see that coming.

"Callie, I only told Dr. Kodema―"

"And Bill and Lena!" she interrupts in a shout. She runs her hand through her hair and grips it a bit, "I never should have told you."

I turn off the car quickly and hurry next to Callie before she can get too far. I try to take her hand but she rips it out of my grip and glares at me. She's clearly angry but I think it's more than just me telling Dr. Kodema about Liam.

"What's wrong, Sweets?" I ask softly.

She gives me a look, "I just told you!"

I shake my head, "No. There's more. You were mad at me this morning, too. So what is it? What's wrong?"

Callie looks at me for a moment. Her eyes show fear for a moment but just as quickly its replaced with her superficial anger, "Nothing." She mutters, "I want to leave."

I study her for a moment and when it becomes clear she isn't going to say anything else I sigh and open the passenger door for her.

"Okay, let's leave."

As soon as I get the door open Callie disappears upstairs. I head into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. What am I going to do with her? I take a sip of water and see through the window that Lena is sitting outside in the backyard. I figure I might as well join her. When I take a seat next to her she startles; she must have been thinking about something.

"I didn't hear you," she tells me, "You picked up Callie from group?"

"Yeah," I reply, "I actually want to talk to you about her."

"Funny, so do I."

I raise my eyebrow and Lena pauses for a moment before beginning, "Jude was acting weird this morning. He just looked so…sad. I talked to him and he told me that Callie told him that we were probably going to send them away because of what happened with Liam. I told him we weren't but Callie probably still feels that way."

That explains a lot.

"Callie blew up at me when I got her from group," I admit to her, "She said she was mad that I told Dr. Kodema about Liam but I knew there was more to it. I should go talk to her."

We sit in silence for a moment just enjoying each other's company. I want so badly for Callie and Jude to trust us 100% but with everything they've been through, that's unlikely. I'm sure they been told one thing just to have something completely different happen. To have that done to them multiple times over the past six years…no wonder they're reluctant to take our words as true.

"Jude is better, I think." Lena muses aloud, "It doesn't take much for him to open up. Maybe because he was too young to truly understand what was happening when he was placed in foster care."

I nodded in agreement, "Yes, but Callie played a part in that as well."

"Clearly."

I pat Lena's knee before handing her my water bottle and standing up, "I'm gonna go see what's up with her."

Callie

I'm sitting on the floor of Mariana's room, back resting against my bed. I'm alone, which is good because I need some time to myself.

While I feel kind've bad about the way I've been treating Stef, I'm also proud of myself. I didn't think I would be able to go back to my old self after everything I've revealed to her, but it was surprisingly pretty easy. It's not like I plan on making her life completely miserable. I just want her to leave me alone instead of trying to help with every little issue.

I really don't appreciate the way she told Dr. Kodema about Liam. What did she tell her? Did she go into detail or was she vague? Did she say when it happened? I shake my head to stop the questions from flooding my thoughts.

I don't think I want to know.

I hear a knock and look up to see Stef standing in the doorway. She looks a little nervous. She makes her way over and takes a seat next to me on the ground. She sits pretty far from me and I'm a little saddened by that.

Why? This is what you wanted.

"Do you trust me, Callie?"

I look up at her sharply. This isn't the question I was expecting and quite honestly, I don't know the answer. A part of me is always suspicious of Stef and Lena―I'm not sure that will ever go away―but another part of finds me unnaturally comfortable with these two women as well as their kids. For the first time in years, I don't worry when Jude is alone with them.

"I-I don't know." I answer truthfully. From the corner of my eye I see Stef's shoulders slump and I feel like I should say something else, "I'm sorry."

She shakes her head, "Don't apologize. It's not your fault."

It's quiet for some time after that and I'm not sure if I should talk or wait. I choose to wait. Finally, Stef begins to speak again, "Trust is something that needs to be earned. Do you agree?" I nod slowly and she continues, "I have to earn your trust; I shouldn't just expect it. I know I've told you a lot of things and maybe you don't believe everything I've said, but let me just say I've never lied to you. I'm not just wasting my breath when I tell you Lena and I are going to keep you and Jude safe until we find a good home for you two. Alright?"

Stef is staring at me with earnest eyes and I have to look away. I focus on a spot on the ground instead, "I want to believe you," I whisper, "I really do. But I can't. It won't let me."

"What won't?"

"The past," I answer, shaking my head, "Everything that's happened. It won't let me believe you. For all I know you're lying."

Stef nods, "Fair enough. What can I do to help?"

I think over my answer carefully. It's a loaded question and one that someone hasn't asked me before.

"Just…keep doing what you're doing." I finally answer, "Don't give up. Please."

Stef looks me over, a look of surprise crossing her features, "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

She gives me a soft smile and we go back to sitting in silence. Having her just sitting next to me makes me less apprehensive and more willing to believe what she's told me so far. It's when she's not right there reassuring me that I slip up and begin to worry and doubt.

Old habits die hard, I guess.

I scoot closer to Stef and she pretends not to notice. I take her hand and hold my breath in anticipation for her reaction. Without missing a beat she brings my hand up to her mouth, presses a kiss to it and lowers it but never releases the grip.

I think I can learn to trust her.

I'm sorry this is short and I'm taking so long to update but I'm sick.

I have coxsackie. It SUCKS.

I had a fever Wednesday. I had such a bad headache (more like a migraine), I was absolutely freezing and I kept hyperventilating. I felt like I was on the brink of death. Thursday I just had a sore throat and chills. By Friday, the bumps started showing up on my hands and feet. They hurt and itch. I'm doing better but BOY these past few days were rough.

I'm contagious and can't leave the house so I've watched seasons one and two of Orphan Black and have been catching up on my To Do List. I'll write more chapters starting tomorrow and hopefully be able to update by Thursday.

Thank you so much for the reviews! Love you all so much!

-Liv