Give Me Everything
Poetic Justice
Kainora. Modern AU. Jinora is a 21 year old busy college student. Jinora's friends convince her to go to a club one night so she can have some fun. Her night takes a turn when she meets this stranger. None of these characters are mine except for the plot.
A/N: Thank you for the reviews once again! Whatever happens in this chapter I don't condone or encourage any of this. But at the same time I don't want to police people's business. Like I said before, this is to stay realistic and for the advancement of the plot.
Part IV
Late morning on a Saturday, Kai relaxed on the couch with his brothers and a few other sorority girls who joined them in the living room. On special occasions, they would have get-togethers just like today. Some of his brothers sprawled on the floor while other sat next to the girls in a circle. They all happily chatted about nonsense as they smoked hookah and passed around a thin white stick. Kai overhearing their conversations, he briefly listened.
"Dude, can you imagine if we can…like…move some elements," babbled one of his brothers named Lee.
This caused the girls to burst in fits of giggle and he continued, "No. Like for real. Like how totally awesome that would be it just move rocks or something."
His brother had one to many puffs of roots as he noticed Lee's voice became slower.
"Guys, I just wanna move water so I won't have to feel so thirsty like right now," said one of the girls whose name he assumed was Mei.
Kai just shook his head at the rubbish he listened but they still entertained him.
"Uh…I think that was a mo-ver," Lee's words began to slur, "o-or naaah."
"But imagine like moving all four elements to save the world," Skoochy joined in, "how fucking awesome that would be."
Skoochy held the joint and he offered it to Kai, but he declined. He took another inhale of the drug and blew a huge amount of smoke from his mouth.
"Phora", "Yote", "Tussy" and "Root" were just various slangs for the cactus plant of Si Wong Desert. Rather than using the juice inside the plant, the roots and the seeds were utilized to smoke. The older the plant, the stronger the effects it would have on a person. Earth Nation citizens used this drug for recreational purposes like his friends did currently. Depending how many ounces a person wanted, the prices were pretty hefty since majority of the Earth Nation's leaders illegalized it for several decades. Yet, some people grew it in their backyards or in other areas that had an arid and hot environment. In some parts of the Fire Nation, majority of the plant grew there, but it wasn't as good as the Earth Nation's. It was best grown in Si Wong Desert, but the Earth Nation prohibited people taking the plant therefore armed forces guarded that area. Kai believed the only to get the plant was to actually work for the government since it was impossible for a lone individual to steal it with all the guards.
The plant was not a very hard drug, therefore it led to people trying other complicated drugs to feel a different kind of high. When a person smoked the roots, one became lightheaded, relaxed, and happy. The next stage caused people to find everything humorous, hallucinate, increase their heart rate, dilate their pupils, turn their eyes red, dry mouth, increase their appetite, shallow breathing, and have slow reaction time. For those who used it for a long time, became more paranoid, irritable, have a distorted sense of time, unable to understand things clearly, forgetful, anxious and depressed. Although everyone knew about the effects of the drug, they didn't stop selling, buying, and using it.
He only tried it once during his first year in college, but the drug was way too strong. His friends and peers smoke constantly during parties or anytime of the week, but the drug never appealed to him. Living in a fraternity house made it difficult to avoid the drug because almost everyday someone would obtain and share the drug among their brothers. It became risky even though it was a known secret that teenagers and young adults do the drug. When there's a party and the police enters the house, it's even riskier because everyone involved would be arrested for possession of an illegal drug. The several times cops broke up a party in his house, he and his brothers were lucky enough to not get caught. If Mako or Bolin even found out that he had any part of the drug scene, they would have his head. Luckily, he never smoked. Plus he had more fun watching his brothers and other people behave stupidly.
He felt the seat next to him shift and a raven-haired girl sat next to him with a joint in her hand. Kai recognized her since she usually came over and she was the supplier of the goods. Her name was Lian and she was a clever girl not because she studied chemistry as a major and in the honors program, but she definitely has a way with words. Kai and Lian had a brief history in the past, but nothing more developed from that. They remained acquaintances and only talked here and there when they were in a social setting.
She looked at him raising an eyebrow as she blew smoke out of her mouth. With all the smoke surrounding him, he felt mellow since the second hand smoke got to him. Her leg was tucked underneath her and she leaned forward, close to his face. Emerald met gold as neither of them moved away from each other. She placed the joint between his lips, urging him to smoke.
"This is the best one my dealer could get. It's straight up from the root itself and the oldest in the desert. And do tell us what element you would bend. I said fire," she held his chin between her thumb and forefinger.
He removed the stick from his mouth and with his other hand he pushed her hand away from his face.
"I don't need this to think, but if I had to choose an element it would be air," he replied disinterestedly.
"Why," Lian asked as she moved closer to him.
"To fly away from you," he answered.
Lian laughed, as did everyone else even though he didn't find this particularly funny. He wished he could manipulate the air and blow her away from him.
"Kai, just chill out and try one smoke. You're not gonna die by taking one puff. Anyway this is imported and the best you'll ever have," she pressed.
"I don't care, Lian," he glared at her as he handed the joint back to her.
She took another puff from the joint, "When did you get so uptight all of a sudden? Not getting laid are you?"
Kai rolled his eyes, "Flattered by your concern, but I don't have a problem in that department."
"But it sounds like you're not satisfied. You know I can help you with that," she winked.
"Thanks but no thanks. I never needed you before or now," he retorted.
"We'll see about that," Lian smirked.
All of this reminded him why they never became more than friends. She annoyed him and she could be vengeful if she wanted. He's seen what Lian was capable and she was not a very nice person. Everything she said or done was calculated and deceitful. Once she had the school shut down a sorority. Kai didn't know how she did it, but she took no prisoners if someone crossed her.
"Hey guys! We're gonna play suck and blow," Lee said.
Lee had a stack of cards that he pulled out from the bookshelf, which was full of board games instead of books. He drew one card and sat right back in the circle. Kai wasn't in the mood to play and hoped that they would play this game somewhere else.
Since Kai was too lazy to move, he just sat there as people formed a circle to include him. It started off with Lee putting the card on his lips and hollowed his cheeks to keep the card from falling. Lee turned his head to the girl next to him and without their hands they had to keep passing around card with their mouths. When Lian sucked on the card, she turned to Kai and he reluctantly puckered his lips to receive the card as she blew on it. However, Kai didn't suck hard enough and the card fell between them. As part of the rules, they had to kiss and he internally groaned.
His peers cheered Lian and him to kiss and Kai couldn't help but roll his eyes at this ridiculous rule. Swiftly, Lian pressed her lips against his and she cupped the back of his head for more pressure. Kai didn't move his lips as he tried to process what just happened. She continued to suck on his lower lip reminding him how much of a good kisser she was back when they had a relationship…well an interesting one. So, he let his eyes flutter shut.
"Oh Kai," he heard someone sing his name, "we have a surprise for you."
Kai instantly pulled away from Lian and he looked behind him.
Shit.
Right next to Ken was none other than Jinora. He knew right then and there he was screwed. Her face showed no sign of emotion as she kept staring him straight in the eye. This made Kai almost cower in fear, but he couldn't let the people around him know that.
"J-Jinora, what are you doing here," he felt his voice tremble.
"You were suppose to meet me in the library and someone told me you would be here," she explained and if she had to bend an element it would be fire which would've been thrown at him by now.
How could he forget? How could he be this stupid? He absolutely forgot about his meeting with Jinora even though he's has been thinking about it for the past week. He mentally smacked his forehead. On top of that she had to him like this. He had to fix this fast and hoped Jinora could be forgiving.
"C-can we talk about this in my room," Kai asked meekly.
He stood up from the couch and walked to Jinora. His slight buzz faded quickly as nervousness took over. Kai grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the stairs. Everyone in the room snickered as they went upstairs. When they entered his room, he slammed the door shut. He paced back and forth in his room as he ran a hand over his head in frustration.
He stopped and looked at her with remorse, "Jinora I'm so sorry. I lost track of time and I won't do it again."
"You lost track of time," she looked at him disbelievingly, "that's your excuse?"
He continued looking at her with nothing to say because that was the truth. What else was there to say?
"A text would've sufficed," her voice lowered.
"I'm sorry," he couldn't look in her eyes.
"I called and texted you several times for an hour, but you never answered or picked up," she glared, "I am so sick and tired of people not following through what they planned."
"Jinora, I—"
"Kai, I'm done and I had enough of people's half-assed excuses," she raised her voice a bit.
She headed towards the door, but Kai blocked her from leaving. He wanted to continue talking to her and get this issue resolved. He didn't want to end their recently new relationship—friendship—like this.
"Jinora, please. Let's talk about this," he placed his hands on her shoulders.
However, she shoved his hands off her and began, "Kai, it's over. There really isn't anything to say."
"I didn't mean it, alright. I just didn't have my phone on me, sorry," Kai replied.
She shook her head, "That's no excuse. You need to take responsibility for your own actions."
"I am," he shouted, "I'm trying to make it up to you, but you're making this more complicated than necessary."
She scoffed, "Maybe I was right about you the other night."
"Jinora, trust me. I'm not like that anymore."
"I worried that something might have happened to you, but when I get here I see you kissing some girl," her voice quavered as her eyes began to water, "and smoking."
Kai felt horrible because the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. He would do anything to get her to forgive him.
"Jinora, it's not what it looked like," he said pitifully.
"Then what exactly were you doing," she asked angrily.
"She kissed me and I didn't kiss her back! And I didn't smoke anything! Anyway the smoke and everyone else was clouding my judgment," he tried to explain.
"Kai you're an adult not some 13 year old boy who gets persuaded very easily," she blinked and her eyes no longer held tears but with fury.
Her brown eyes no longer held the warmth and care that he needed at the moment.
"Jinora, you don't understand. I don't smoke at all. I don't even like it, but I'm not going to tell them to leave the house because it's their house too," his eyes pleaded with forgiveness.
She laughed bitterly, "Like really? You expect me to believe that? Since you hate smoking why didn't you just leave them?"
"We're just hanging out and I'm not gonna leave my friends. We've always done this and it's not a big deal," he said.
"So you decided that hanging out with friends was more important than some arrangement with someone who needed your help," she stated, "well thanks, Kai."
Kai blocked her from the door again as she tried to reach the doorknob. She's not leaving until she forgave him.
"Come on, let me just help you with calculus," Kai begged.
"No, not when you're like this and you smelling like cactus," she shouted.
He moved closer to her and held her hands in his, "Jinora I'm fine. It's just a little root and it'll wear off. Let's go to the library."
"A little root," she asked exasperatedly, "you're not tutoring me when you under the influence of a drug while smelling like it."
"It's not like it's a hardcore drug," he countered, "it's natural unlike cigarettes."
"You've got to be kidding me," she scoffed, "shrooms—which I'm sure you probably tried—are natural too. So what point are you really trying to make?"
Kai began getting fed up with her accusations and judgments without even know the whole situation.
"First of all, you hardly know me and two, I've never done shrooms. Stop making all this assumptions that all smokers do hard drugs. So I don't where you're getting these statements from," his voice elevated.
"But okay fine! You do know Si Wong's cactus root is a gateway drug so stop pretending that it isn't just as bad as the other drugs," Jinora yelled.
"You're being ridiculous right now. We're talking about me! I don't smoke and I don't care if people do drugs or not. It's not my problem, so it shouldn't be yours," he snapped.
"So I'm the ridiculous one," she roared, "I'm not the one who's contradicting myself. What's the point of not smoking if you don't think it's bad?"
His jaw tensed, " People drink alcohol—even you drink it—and smoke cigarettes, but I don't see you scolding them."
"Excuse you? I don't even drink that much and cigarettes is a different topic from cactus roots, okay. You don't get high by smoking cigarettes. I know alcoholics who are more responsible than you," Jinora huffed.
"You're so judgmental! If I wanted someone to nag at me for something so miniscule I would've called Mako and have him on speaker phone," he said.
"I wouldn't have to be this way if you returned my phone call!"
"I forgot," he screamed, "What is so hard for you to understand? Not all of us are little miss perfect who likes to act all high and mighty because they're so straight edge and live in their own little fantasy world where everyone is just like them."
"I don't! All I wanted was you to be responsible and at least communicate with me. What is so hard for you to get? You're not the first person to do this to me, but maybe I was expecting a little too much from you," she said.
"I don't know many times I have to apologize and explain myself. It was a mistake and I got distracted," he said, "Get over it. You're making everything into such a big deal."
"I don't need an apology. I need you to mature. Goodbye, Kai," she said and shoved him away from the door.
Once she opened it, she left his room. She just couldn't leave so soon.
Following her as she went downstairs, he yelled, "Jinora, wait!"
She didn't respond to him as she headed towards the front door. He didn't care if his friends witnessed this; he wanted Jinora to not be mad at him.
"Jinora!"
The brunette was already out the door and slammed it behind her. He watched through the window as she bowed her head and hunched her shoulders. Although he wanted to chase and hug her, she probably wouldn't receive it well. The gray skies became darker and wind blew the tree leaves harder. Wonderful. Even the weather was disappointed in him as well. He turned around and noticed his friends looking him in shock or laughing silently due to the drug, but he didn't want to talk to them at all. None of them would understand.
When he retreated to his room, he sat on his bed with his head hanging down. He couldn't believe how he messed up so badly. He replayed their argument in his head, making him more miserable than before. He did everything he could for her forgiveness, but it was up to her to accept it. Maybe with some space and time, she could think it over. For now, he wanted to be left alone and wallow in his own self-pity. Every word she said stung him and glued to his mind. The disappointment engraved on her face even haunted him and he wanted nothing more than to stop thinking about what just occurred. He was used to adults and Mako reprimanding him, but when Jinora criticized, it just hurt him.
How was it possible that whenever he changed for the better, he ended up in a worse position? One would think they have everything in control and people would be proud of them. However, for him, it brought more trouble. Why did change have to be so difficult?
He stopped being so lazy, focused even more on his school work, partied less, became less of a horrible person, applied to graduate schools, and slept with fewer girls since last summer. These were drastic changes for him, but he eventually became used it. He thought everything was going his way, though he didn't understand why things still went wrong in his life. Perhaps he was meant to be his old self. His former self was happier, careless, and blissful from ignorance. He wanted to go back to his old ways, continuing to be young and irresponsible.
Maybe that was his problem. He still held on to his past to define him. It was time that he should move on from that. He's not 18 years old; he's 22 years old and he's about to graduate in a few more months. Jinora was right. He did need to mature and become more responsible. Time flew as he became older and he needed to accept it.
However, Jinora needed to understand his circumstances. When he noticed his peers filling out applications for other universities and sending their completed resumes to employers, he panicked. He was not doing what a student going on to his or her final year of college should be doing. For years, the idea of graduating and getting a bachelor's degree seemed so tedious and far away. Now, when he was close to getting it just at the touch of his fingertips, it all began to hit him. He was already in his final year and it was too late to turn back. Over the summer, he took standardized tests, worked more hours at his minimum wage job, volunteered at different places and applied to various universities. For once in his life, he felt accomplished and almost like an adult.
Once he graduates, he would be going to graduate school and then getting a job which means he'll be out in the real world, doing adult things. Although he's technically an adult, he still didn't feel like it. He's still somewhat dependent on Mako and Bolin. He can't cook, he doesn't pay or file taxes yet, and he can't do the laundry properly without shrinking or turning his white clothes into some shade of pink. Soon, Mako will have his practice and move elsewhere while Bolin might stay in Zaofu, where he worked. They will all be living their own lives and Kai would have to learn to be an adult by himself. That's what scared him. He feared in failing and especially not doing the correct way on how 20-something year olds should live their lives.
One would honestly think everything would be under control when they start college as they slowly become an adult, but it was opposite. There were articles and blogs on the internet that tell you how much being an adult sucked, yet they never explained how being between the ages 20-30 sucked even more. Everyone expects you have a degree, a steady job, a house, a wife, and a kid on the way before thirty, but for Kai those ideas were preposterous. He felt too young to be dealing with the settled life, mortgages, insurance, and heck even children. How could he take care of child if he too felt like a child more than he can count on his fingers?
It's difficult to change so fast within months. Some old habits were hard to let go. He worried he would go back and everything would crash around him. Sure, his friends were intelligent—well not majority of them—but they still remind him of his old self. His fraternity brothers weren't the best influences, but they were his first friends since he started college. People think that joining fraternities was basically paying for friends, but there was still that strong bond that's been built for years. Cutting that bond would be tough, but sometimes it does need to be done to move on.
He sighed. He doesn't want to grow up yet. Though he has to not for Jinora but for himself. He cannot use his past as his excuse anymore. Mako and Bolin helped him to change his old self. They provided him shelter, support, jobs, and guidance. Kai couldn't feel anymore grateful for those two. They were his only family and the least he could do was make them proud.
Now he had to prove to Jinora that he's not just some inconsiderate, immature, frat guy. Yes, his friends can be douchebags and aggravating, but that doesn't mean that Kai was like them. He wanted Jinora to forgive him, but after everything that just happened, who would trust a flower if it bloomed in a dark room? From now on, he would spend less time with his friends and spend more time on himself. He needed to find inner peace and focus on more important tasks. With everything that happened in his lifetime, he barely talked or even thought too much of it. He didn't want to bother with the sadness that came along with it. Even though he's never talked about his past, he had to confront it eventually. Dealing with the past, present, and future was going to be a challenge, but it would definitely make him a better person. Yes, that's exactly what he was planning to do as soon as he takes a nap because thinking about life can be so draining.
Just as he was about to lie down, he heard a knock on the door. He grumbled under his breath about not having any privacy and peace.
"Come in," Kai yelled.
Ken's head popped through the crack between the door and the doorframe, smiling.
"So, is it safe now," he asked jokingly as he looked around his room cautiously.
Kai couldn't help but roll his eyes, "Yeah, what do you want?"
As Ken entered the room, he said, "I just wanted to know if you're…you know okay?"
Kai raised an eyebrow questioning his motive, "Since when did you care?"
He sat next to Kai on his bed, "Dude, we could hear the fight all the way downstairs. Like that was some break up."
"We're not in a relationship," he quickly corrected him.
"Okay, so what was the whole point of that," he asked curiously.
Kai shook his head, "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
Ken draped an arm around his shoulders, "Listen, girls are totally not worth it. You gotta focus on yourself. I say just forget about her and move on."
Kai cast him a side-glance as he narrowed his eyes. Forgetting about Jinora was not an option and he doesn't plan on doing that soon.
"Alright, alright, but lately you haven't been yourself. You've been all like…isolated. It's like you don't wanna hang out with us anymore," Ken shifted his eyes to the ground.
"Ken, it's not that I don't wanna be friends with you guys anymore, I just need space to figure some things out," he took a deep breath.
He gave Kai a small tight side hug, "Hey, if you ever need to talk I'm here and I'm all ears. Don't worry what he or she says about you 'cause you know it's not true. You don't need people bringing you down. You're a great person and she doesn't deserve you."
Kai pursed his lips to keep from smiling but when he looked at Ken's grin he couldn't help but chuckle.
Ken patted Kai's back and laughed, "You see that's the Kai I know. Screw her. She seems like an uptight prude who doesn't have fun."
Kai glared at him, "She had sex with me."
His eyes widen, "Oh, oh that's right. Well you see girls who—you know—sleeps with a guy right away aren't even worth it."
"But I initiated it."
"But she accepted it. You don't know many guys she's had before you. Those types of chicks aren't marriage material and I wouldn't bring 'em to my parents or guardians," Ken said with concern.
"Okay, but we sleep with a ton of other women, so what does that make us," Kai countered.
Ken pinched the bridge of his nose, "Dude, we're men. It's in our biology to sleep as many chicks as we can. Like it's not in our genes to stick with one woman. That's why we don't get pregnant and they do."
Kai blinked at him in confusion, trying to piece the information Ken just said into sense.
"Don't give me that look. Remember the saying 'bros before hos'? Well that applies to what's happening," Ken nodded.
Kai frowned, "But what if I want hos before bros instead?"
Ken shook his head, "Bro, no that'll only leave you into trouble and heartbreak. That's why we gotta hit it and then quit it."
The green-eyed man really did try to quit her but he couldn't. He wasn't sure if this was just some bad crush or just something else. Kai just wanted all of this to pass so he could refocus on himself and his priorities. Currently, she's taking up the number spot in his mind instead of his studies. He hated himself for letting it happen.
"Settling down and love is all overrated," Ken continued, "It's the millennium. Everyone is sleeping with each other and marriage and have kids rates are going down. You know why?"
"Yeah, because everyone realizes how dumb it is to marry early before they have a good paying job and the economy hasn't been steady for a while though we're slowly getting out recession, but you know what I mean," Kai answered.
"Okay yeah that too," Ken nodded, "but love isn't real. The media and old people shove these ideas that we have soul mates, and we should get married and yadda, yadda, yadda to feel accomplished in life. But who needs that? Oh please, don't pretend infidelity and selfishness doesn't exist. We're humans, we're animals first and we'll do anything to survive and feed our desires. We're gonna keep evolving and these antiquated views will disappear eventually, so there's no point on getting hung up on some girl," Ken lectured.
His fraternity brother did somewhat have a point. Kai's never been in love. He cared for Mako, Bolin and his friends, but love just sounded complicated and confusing. He never had some kind of emotional attachment to anyone. Being emotionally dependent on someone seemed foreign to him since all he had was himself. Of course, he had crushes and found other women attractive, but his feelings for Jinora constantly pulsed especially in his chest and it couldn't be stopped.
Kai sighed, "I guess you're right. I have better things to worry about."
Ken patted his back, "Atta boy! Join us downstairs. You gotta do you, you know. I'll make sure no one bothers you about your dispute."
"Actually I'm gonna pass," Kai waved his hand dismissively.
"Alright, well we're going to Narook's if you wanna join us later," Ken stood up.
"Thanks," Kai said.
Ken closed the door behind him and Kai was finally alone. He lay down on his bed and put his hands behind his head. Ken's words made him to think about his developing friendship or lack of with Jinora. He knew he messed up and he had to make it up to her. Maybe Ken was right. What if Jinora wasn't worth it? He didn't need to have a girl at this moment. He needed to be his own independent self. Who needed girls anyway?
When he checked his phone he noticed six text messages and three notifications on his voicemail icon on his screen. Obviously, they were from Jinora and he groaned. He went through each message, listening to her voice. Her tone sounded irritated and he couldn't blame her. Each text became more irate as fewer words were typed. He rubbed his forehead wondering how he could fix this. Sighing in frustration, he knew it was going to be hard to get over Jinora. He never connected so well with a person and he hoped she felt that connection as well. However, with what just occurred he believed he ruined everything.
Today could've been his chance to grow closer to her, but nope he had to be stupid and be his old self again. He knew he shouldn't have hung out with his friends and now he had to deal with the consequences. That was the poetic justice of life. A terrible and irresponsible boy deserved every bad thing to happen him while the good girl deserves to be saved and away from a boy like him. It was for the best and that was the reality.
A/N: Well…I had to do this because let's not pretend we haven't met/befriend people who do drugs in high school/college. Some can be great people while others are…not the greatest company. I didn't want to make it fully about drugs, but discuss more about Kai's flaws and see glimpses of Jinora's as well. I wanted to make these characters complicated because I'm not fond of one-dimensional ones. Have you ever heard boys talk? Because let me tell you they say some of the most ridiculous things I've ever listened to.