Heey guys chapter five is really really really late. Sorry!

But we got smut and a bit story and I think a lot OCC-ness for which I'm really sorry too …

And again I'm sorry for any typos and/or spelling and grammar mistakes.

Why am I only apologizing? Well anyway hope you have fun reading.

Enjoy~

A 'Kanashii' person

Chapter Five:

Primal

So alcohol was their solution. The solution to all their problems and worries. To forget what happened and what had yet to come.

Sure both of them had different worries. Allen's laid in the past and the future and Lavi's only laid in the future.

Lavi didn't know how to react when the bookman comes back. He needed to explain everything to the man. His feelings for Allen and Komui and all about Kanda's death and how he felt about that. He needed to tell the old man that he was a failure, that he actual had feelings and wanted and needed to act on them. Lavi knew he was going to disappoint the man who took care of him for so long and had always put up with his shit. And he didn't know where things were going with Komui. Did the Asian even mean it serious as he said that he had feelings for him? The red head didn't know what he should think. And he didn't know how it was to sleep with a man. Ha had never done it before, only women.

Allen on the other hand was still blaming himself for Kanda's death and was wondering if Cross' feelings for him were really real or just fake to less his pain. The boy didn't know what to do. Of cause he loved Cross even before Kanda but then he didn't dare to think that the womanizer would be satisfied with just him yet alone return his feelings. But now was the general confessing to him so often and showed openly his caring for the white haired boy. And Allen wondered how he was going to clean this mess. The pressure and blame was nearly too much for the boy. He sought comfort and not just in words. He wanted to forget all that; all the pain and despair but also the happiness and pleasure. He couldn't stand to feel anything right now. He wanted to feel nothing. Nothing at all.

Both of them wanted to feel nothing besides the physical pleasure, the raw primal lust for another body, the heat that coiled in pits of their stomachs before the blank whiteness of release washed over them. But they didn't know that yet. Right now they sought comfort and help in the sweet easiness of the alcohol.

So they sat in Lavi's room on the floor before the bed, leaning against it and each other. A few cans of beer and two bottles of vodka standing beside them.

They sat like that and drank for hours. Both lost their sense of time.

"Thiss iss soo fucked up man." Lavi slurred his words. Allen just nodded. The younger teen leaned heavier against him, almost crawling into the red head's lap. Lavi looked at him.

"Wha' are you doin'?"

The young teen shrugged and took another shot vodka, but instead of swallowing he leaned over to press his lips against Lavi's. The red head was so surprised that he automatically opened his mouth, tasting the burning bitterness of the vodka. The teens shared the shot and pulled away. Allen was looking at Lavi an eyebrow raised in question. Lavi's cheeks were lightly red.

"One more~" The red head nearly purred. He liked the feeling of Allen's lips against his own, mixed with the sharp taste of the shot. Allen wasn't going to complain so they shared another shot and another until the younger one was straddling the red head's hips.

Allen leaned his forehead against Lavi's, pressing himself flush against the young bookman.

"Ne Allen." Lavi began but stopped and looked into Allen's gray eyes before he continued. "I've never done it with a man."

Allen blinked at him a little surprised. The exorcist had thought that Lavi had at least experimented with someone. The surprise probably showed on the boy's face because Lavi spoke again.

"Weird right?" But Allen shook his head. It wasn't weird. It was weird to say that they had and stand to the fact that they liked it or that they were in a relationship with someone of the same gender. At least at the time they lived in. There were people who were willing to kill them just because of that. They could be glad that the order didn't tolerated such behavior.

Allen buried his face in the crock of Lavi's neck, kissing the soft skin there.

"Is that an invitation?" Lavi chuckled. He felt the boy nod against his neck. The red head was surprised but the alcohol and Allen's touch got his libido running fast. "You-you really want to?"

Instead of another nod he felt a pair of lips pressed against his own. The instant he realized what was happening he acted on instinct and moved his own against them.

Allen let his tongue slide over Lavi's bottom lip, silently asking for entrance. His request was granted. Allen dominated the kiss, letting his tongue explore the red head's mouth. His hands were messing with the red mane which resembled Cross' so much. He moved his hips against Lavi's and could feel the other getting hard. Once he felt that he tugged at Lavi's hair and moaned into the kiss. Hearing Allen moan turned some kind of switch in Lavi's brain. He gained control over the kiss as his hands wandered up Allen's thighs to the plump ass. Squeezing it he ground against Allen. Allen pressed harder against him. The boy needed the contact of someone other than Cross. He just wanted the pleasure without the deep feelings and commitment and Lavi was offering what he needed. It was a win-win-situation.

Allen's unequal hands made short process with the buttons on Lavi's uniform. His hands ran over the smooth chest of the red head.

"Like what you see?" Lavi asked, sounding a bit cocky. Of course Allen didn't answer. He just moved down and took one of the pink nipples between his teeth and tugged at it which caused Lavi to moan and throw his head back. Allen was surprised at how sensitive the older teen was. He continued to tease the nipples. Lavi's hands found their way into Allen's hair, pushing the boy lower.

"Allen please~" He begged. Allen looked up, pupils blown. A little smirk playing around the corner of his lips. Lavi groaned as he felt hands messing with his belt buckle. Unequal hands worked the buckle lose while Allen kissed his way down right next to Lavi's treasure trail. He opened the button while he sucked hard on a spot on Lavi's hip.

"Shit Allen don't leave marks!" Lavi protested breathlessly. But he quickly forgot his protest once Allen shoved his hand into Lavi's pants to grab his cock.

"Oh god." Lavi moaned deep in his chest and thrust into Allen's hand. Allen chuckled at Lavi's reaction. He leaned up again to kiss Lavi. The kiss was hot and messy with a lot of tongue. Both moaned into the kiss. Lavi's hands ran down Allen's sides to cup his ass. The boy's hand worked Lavi's cock faster. Lavi rested his forehead against Allen's neck, panting into his ear.

"Ne Allen. Let me touch you too?" He asked. Allen just grinned and let go of Lavi to stand up and strip. Real slow. He made a show out of it. He loosened his rippon, opened the buttons of his shirt and letting it hang loosely around his slim figure. His hands ran down his chest and abdomen, biting his lip in the progress. He cupped his own erection through his pants, letting a little mewl escape through his lips.

"Shit Allen. So hot." Lavi was practically drooling. A little wet spot in the front of his pants was also a clear giveaway of his arousal.

Allen opened his pants and let them fall to the floor, kicking them off. He shrugged the shirt off his shoulders and just stood there in all his naked glory.

Lavi was trying to take it all in. Allen's pretty face with this mesmerizing mark on his left eye, his slim neck he wanted to bite into, the small shoulders which didn't lead on what strength the boy had, the dark left arm which turned into his greatest weapon, the scar across his chest which he earned from his own sword in a battle against Level fours with Kanda, the slim hips which lead to delicate legs. Allen's arousal was as clearly as his, it stood proud between the boy's legs. Allen reached out to Lavi with his right hand when Lavi noticed the bracelet around the wrist. It seemed familiar. And then it clicked. It was Kanda's hairband. Lavi felt a short sting of pain in his heart. He took Allen's hand and pulled him into his lap.

Allen had noticed the short look of grief and concern on Lavi's face as he had noticed his bracelet. It made him sad. He didn't want to think about Kanda.

Lavi stroked Allen's hair out of his face while cupping it with both hands. Lavi smiled, all gentle and tender as he leaned in to kiss the younger boy.

"You're so pretty, Allen. I had no idea." Lavi confessed. He kind of understood now what Cross and Kanda saw in him and how Allen had gotten these two. Allen's eyes went all open He looked so open and vulnerable. And then Lavi understood even with his drunken mind that Allen trusted him so fucking much. So he thought he should be trusting him too.

"I-I don't know what to do." He said in tiniest voice Allen had ever heard from him. Allen smiled. He knew Lavi trusted him with his first time, but when again, he could only offer Lavi to do him because Allen was bottom with all his life but he didn't think that Komui would let Lavi top him. But he had an idea what he could do. But first things first.

He kissed Lavi, deep and longing. His hands were busy messing up Lavi's hair. He pressed himself flush against the older teen. One of his hands found it's way into Lavi's pants again. Their little soul strip seemed to be of no consequences to their arousal. But maybe the alcohol had also something to do with it.

Allen kissed his way down Lavi's chest again, tugging at his pants to get them off.

"An eager beaver, aren't you?" Lavi joked even through he was blushing. But Allen knew a damn good way to shut him up. He leaned down and swallowed Lavi's cock whole.

Lavi threw his head back in ecstasy. The red head moaned out loudly. The sensation of Allen's hot, wet mouth around him, his tongue caressing the shaft, was so much for Lavi to take in. One of his hands crawling into a fist in Allen's hair. Pushing the boy deeper into his groin. Allen shivered in anticipation.

"Let me try that too?" Lavi asked while trying to pull Allen off of his cock.

Allen looked up at him, eyes heavy lidded and his rosy lips still wrapped tightly around the others cock. He let go off it with an obscene pop sound. He stood up to lay down on the bed. Petting the bed beside him. The red head crawled onto the bed. But as he laid down Allen turned around so he was face to face with his crotch.

"Oh." Something clicked in Lavi's mind as Allen again began to suck his cock. For short he was overwhelmed with the hot sucking on his cock. But he was sharply snapped out of his amazement by Allen pinching his inner thigh. Allen gave him a 'Don't-just-fucking-space-out-and-get-to-work-too'-look. Lavi chuckled at that, but did as he was 'told'. Even through he didn't exactly knew what to do since he hadn't done this before. 'Learning be doing.' He thought. So he leaned in and gave the red tip of Allen's hard arousal an experimental lick, feeling the hard yet soft flesh under his tongue, tasting another man for the first time. He took the tip into his mouth, letting his tongue circle around it. He closed his lips around the shaft and let it slide into his mouth a bit more, sucking lightly. It felt actually pretty good. It felt like steel with hot silk wrapped around it. But it gave him more than just that. Allen's little noises encouraged him, gave him a feeling of power. But this feeling only lasted for a second or so because Allen started to explore his nether parts.

The white haired boy slid down a bit sucking one of his balls into his mouth, while one hand was still working Lavi's cock. Lavi momentarily forgot to suck, he was just to curious about what Allen was going to do. But another sharp pinch to his thigh brought him back to reality where he was supposed to suck Allen. The white haired teen had let go of Lavi's balls to moan out loud as Lavi set his mouth back to work on Allen's cock. But since Allen had plans in mind he slid down further so he could reach Lavi's virgin hole with his face.

"What ar-" Lavi started to complain but quickly shut up at the feeling of a hot wet muscle licking over his anus. It was a weird feeling at first because how was he supposed to know this. Allen's tongue circled around the rose bud, letting it relax into his touch before dipping the the tip of it into the other teen. Allen wasn't that experimented with rimming since he usually didn't have a chance to do this.

But he just did what he likes and judging by the noises Lavi made he was doing a good job. He licked and sucked at Lavi's hole a bit longer until he was sure Lavi was relaxed. He then was brave enough to work one finger into the hole beside his tongue. Lavi was to lost in the sensations to do anything besides writhing beneath Allen, moaning out loud like a shameless porn star. Allen spurred on by Lavi's reactions worked a second and then a third finger into the moaning mess he created. He never felt like this. So powerful. So in charge. He never had the role of the top in his hands before. Allen crawled of Lavi's chest still finger fucking the red head. He was kneeling between Lavi's wide spread legs he clearly enjoyed the view. Lavi spread out before him, eyes closed, cheek flushed, mouth open, muscles tense and relax again. And the most amazing thing thing his own fingers moving in and out of Lavi's wet hole. He never had the urge to fuck another man, only to be fucked, but he be damned if he wasn't thinking about fucking Lavi into the mattress right now. So he simple spit into his hand and got his own painfully erected member slick. Removing his fingers out of Lavi, the red head looked at him pleading and disappointed at the same time. But as he was Allen lining himself up with his hole he kept silent. Allen looked at him, asking for permission. Lavi just nodded. So Allen put Lavi's legs over his shoulders and eased his way into Lavi, going slow and steady trying hard not to hurt the red head boy who for what ever reason trusted him with this. His first time with a man.

The stretching burned for a bit but it wasn't as painful as Lavi had imagined it. Which probably was because of Allen's careful preparation. The white haired boy was going so slowly, so carefully and it drove Lavi crazy. He pressed his heels against Allen's back urging him to go faster, harder, deeper, anything. And his wishes were granted as the boy started to thrust into him with all his worth.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. Meanwhile .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Lenalee was on her way to her brother's office to tell him why she thought Lavi behaved so weird the other day. As she arrived at the door she just opened it since Komui was usually sleeping. So she was surprised to see him awake and have a rare guest, General Cross.

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." She stuttered.

"No. It's okay." Cross said, sounding tired. "I was just leaving anyway." He got and left the office without a second thought. Lenalee just stood there for a second or two before she remembered why she was here. She was so lost in her own agenda that she didn't sense the mood in the room or Komui's solemn expression.

She turned and started babbling on about god knows what because Komui just turned out her voice. He was to consumed in his own thoughts to listen to her. He needed to work through this, needed to understand what he just heard and saw.

"Lenalee, please not now." He said unusual serious. "If you want something from Lavi, just go to him and talk. But please don't disturb me today, okay?"

Lenalee was lightly taken aback by her brothers unusual behaviour. A look of hurt washed over her face.

"Ehm … okay. Sorry to bother you." She said. Her disappointment showing clearly on her face. Fine if her brother didn't want to listen to her than she would just go to Lavi instead.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. Meanwhile .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Cross got to his quarters just to discover that Allen wasn't there. He also went to check Kanda's room, but no luck there either. He guessed the boy was with Lavi, doing whatever teens do to handle their grief. He didn't want to think about that. It hurts him enough to see the heart broken look in Allen's eyes for days straight. It didn't even really matter what he did to make the boy feel better. Allen just didn't show any progress. But Cross wanted that boy, always had and always will. That always smiling, always caring boy that seems to carry the worries of all the people around him and doesn't seem to care about that and just kept moving on. But now he was broken and Cross just didn't know how to fix him.

So he moved to seek the answer at the bottom of a bottle wine. Maybe Komui is willing to keep him company.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. Elsewhere .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Lenalee was on her way to Lavi's room, still brooding over her brother's uncommon behaviour. Then she arrived at the door she heard some weird noises she really couldn't imagine to what situation they could belong.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. In the room .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Allen was pounding hard into Lavi, loving the feeling of a somewhat submissive body under him. Well not really under him since they changed positions so that Lavi was riding him which was an awesome feeling for Allen. The tight wet heat around his dick, the way Lavi pounced up and down, the sound of Lavi's moans and keens made Allen think that he's having the time of his life, but his judgement is was probably faulted because of the alcohol. But that didn't changed the fact that it felt good.

They were constantly nearing their climax.

"Allen~ Allen more~" Lavi's sweet voice kept whispering into his ear. Allen put even more force into his thrusts, grabbing Lavi's hips hard enough to leave imprints of his fingers on the skin. Lavi kissed him sloppily. At the same time he became nearly painfully tight around Allen. The red head's seed splattered between them and that was enough to push Allen over the edge. But Lavi was off of his cock so fast and had his lips closed around him that Allen couldn't do much more than grab Lavi's hair and pull him as close as he could get him and come into the red head's mouth.

Right then and there Lenalee opened the door and saw the scene which shattered her world. Allen on his arching back, Lavi between his legs, blowing him and both stark naked.

"Oh my god." She gasped and ran, not even registering that she let the door open.

End of chapter five

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Hope you had fun reading and as always

See ya~