Jack was making his way back to his room under the hub after a highly satisfactory six hours with Adam. As he made his way Celtic Mythos Books he felt a small spasm of guilt. He had felt really bad about how things had ended between him and Ianto the previous day, leaving in such a hurry to deal with the alarm from the phase detector and then dealing with Cooper's almighty fuck up had used up the rest of the day. Jack had just managed to find time to upgrade Ianto's train tickets and call in favour from an old "friend" who worked for the railway and promised to pick up the cinnamon swirl and deliver it to Ianto's train on time. He had hoped that Ianto might call him to say thank you but despite checking his phone all day there was no message from the young man and Jack's hopes had fallen even lower, clearly Ianto did not want to try to mend their budding friendship or to progress things any further with Jack. Fortunately, it was not in his nature to dwell too much on the things he couldn't change and nothing cheered him up like boisterous sex. Now he felt, if not happy, at least content in a pleasantly sore kind of way and even the continued rain could not dampen his spirits; even so, he knew that the time he had spent with Adam meant nothing at all – he still wanted Ianto, wanted to try to make something real with Ianto. He shook himself, he didn't even know why he was feeling so guilty, he had known Ianto Jones for less than a week and they weren't even dating never mind anything else. So why did Jack feel like he had cheated on the young bookseller? As he made his way past the building that housed Celtic Mythos and Ianto's flat, he glanced up at Ianto's window, remembering the sad and lonely figure who had been watching him and Adam some hours earlier; with a shock he saw that Ianto was still there, out on the balcony in the driving rain.

Swearing quietly to himself, Jack sprinted to the underground garage and, using his wrist strap to override the security controls of the lift, hastily punched the button that would take him up to Ianto's apartment. Once there, Jack did not hesitate, kicking open the door and sprinting across the spacious apartment to the sodden and still figure out on the balcony.

'Ianto?' Jack knelt at the side of Ianto's chair and took his icy cold hands into his own warm ones, 'Ianto? Have you been out here all this time?'

Eventually Ianto turned his head to look at Jack, for a couple of seconds his handsome face was completely blank then a small frown appeared, 'Jack? Why are you here?'

Jack put a hand on Ianto's leg and flinched at how sodden his trousers were. He stood up and grasped the handles of Ianto's chair, 'we need to get you warmed up.' he said briskly, 'then you and I are going to have a long talk.' His feeling of disquiet grew as Ianto sat passively allowing Jack to wheel him back into the flat; Jack knew that it drove Ianto mad when people pushed him around in his wheelchair without his consent and the lack of the usual string of Welsh profanities was most disturbing.

Jack ran to the wet room and set the shower running, he then made his way back to Ianto and, taking his face between his palms made the young bookseller look into his face, 'Yan, we need to get you out of these wet clothes, do you want me to help?' Ianto looked at him blankly and Jack repressed a worried sigh. 'Right then.' He efficiently striped the moribund man of his saturated clothing and then equally efficiently removed his own clothes, scooped Ianto up into his arms and carried him towards the wet room from which steam was billowing.

Once inside, Jack placed Ianto on a stool that was usefully placed under the shower heads and gently began to wash the frozen man. Jack tried not to think about the distress that had caused Ianto to sit in the pouring rain for six hours but, instead concentrated on gently massaging the clammy skin, hoping to get the blood flowing, keeping up a constantly litany of meaningless chatter to try to capture Ianto's attention whose empty stare was freaking him out slightly. As he surveyed a bewildering selection of hair products, wondering which of the four different shampoos Ianto's favourite was, a soft Welsh voice from behind him said 'coconut'

Jack swung round, confused, 'what?'

'I like the coconut shampoo best'

Jack kept his back to Ianto to hide his smile, 'coconut, it is then'

After half a hour Jack judged that Ianto's core temperature was on its way back to normal so he wrapped the sleepy man in a large warmed towel, rubbed them both dry and carried Ianto over to the large bed. Jack competently dressed Ianto in warmed soft cotton lounge pants and a tee-shirt, before retrieving his own boxers and slipping under the duvet. He pulled the unresisting man into his arms, resting his chin on the top of the dark hair which was curling in an unruly fashion. For a long while the two men lay in silence, then Jack felt Ianto give a huge sigh and whisper, 'what are you doing, Jack?'

'Your core temperature was way down; sharing body heat like this is the best way to bring it up. Actually skin to skin is better but I thought you would be more comfortable like this'

He could feel Ianto's feeble smile against the skin of his chest. 'No' he clarified, 'what are you doing here...with me?'

'You are my friend,' said Jack carefully, 'and you are unhappy. That's my fault. Where else would I be?'

'It's not your fault I'm unhappy.' said Ianto softly, 'it's mine. I saw something I thought I might have a chance at but I was wrong. Serves me right for daring to hope, I should have known better. I'm sorry I ruined your night'

Jack frowned, 'you haven't ruined my night. How did you work that out?'

Ianto wriggled uncomfortably in Jack's arms, 'well, you know...I saw you heading off with Adam. I guess that you would rather be home in the warm thinking about what a great time you had with him than caring for an emotional screw up like me.'

Jack risked dropping a kiss onto Ianto's temple, 'I don't think you are an emotional screw up,' he said. 'I think you are brilliant and wonderful and funny and gorgeous and...'

'No, no I'm not. I'm weak, a coward. I'm pathetic, I'm terrified of love, I'm flawed and broken. I don't deserve to be happy. '

'Nonsense' Jack's arms tightened around the young man, 'you are so beautiful, you are kind and caring, witty and clever. Not to say sexy as hell'

Ianto pulled back to look at Jack, his eyes full of sadness, 'don't make fun of me, Jack. I couldn't bear that from you'

Jack could not stop himself; he leant forward and placed a soft tender kiss on Ianto's luscious mouth. After an initial hesitation, his lips were a soft and eager and his mouth opened willingly under the gentle pressure of Jack's kiss. Jack slid his hands under Ianto's tee shirt running his hands over the soft and, he was pleased to note, warm skin of his back. It was like stroking silk, just the sensation of his fingers on the soft skin was making Jack hard, so before he let himself take things too far, before he got lost in the warm of Ianto's beautiful mouth, he pulled back. Ianto had his eyes closed, long thick lashes resting on the pale skin of his cheeks; his mouth was slightly open and a faintly stunned expression was on his face. For a long minute he didn't move or open his eyes, Jack began to worry that he had ruined things completely, until Ianto opened his eyes and murmured 'wow'

Jack smiled, relieved that possibly he hadn't ruined things after all, 'wow?'

Ianto smiled, 'well I don't really have anything to compare it with but I would say...definitely wow'

Jack moved in for another kiss then what Ianto had said pinged in his brain, 'wait, what did you just say?'

Ianto had buried his face in Jack's broad chest once more but his blush was visible across the back of his neck, Jack thought it was adorable. 'That was kind of...well... my first kiss.'

'With a man?'

'Ever'

Jack thought his heart would break, how did someone as gorgeous as Ianto Jones get to his mid twenties without ever being kissed? 'Well,' he said as he placed his lips on Ianto's once more, 'we'll have to make up for lost time, won't we?'

When Ianto woke up, he was feeling languid and content. He lifted his head as glanced at the clock, 4 a.m. He couldn't believe he felt so rested after just 3 hours sleep; he rarely slept so deeply and so well. Jack was sprawled across his chest, one arm holding him close, the other thrown above his head his fingers tangled possessively in Ianto's hair. Ianto could feel Jack's frighteningly impressive erection pressing against his hip and could not help tensing. This was the first time he had ever shared a bed with anyone at all, never mind anyone as gorgeous as Captain Jack Harkness, and he was worriedly aware of his complete lack of the type of experience a man like Captain Harkness would appreciate, although last night Jack had confined himself to kissing Ianto into a state of bliss, demanding nothing more of him. Ianto had managed to gasp an apology for the way he had railed at Jack and Toshiko and stammered his thanks for the upgrade and the breakfast that Jack had provided for him making Jack laugh and kiss him harder.

Ianto had never felt so adored, so cherished, so...loved. Gods it would be so easy to get used to that level of affection, so addictive to wake up every morning in Jack's strong arms. He squeezed his eyes tight shut trying to ignore the sting of tears; a muffled sob escaped him and woke his bed mate. Two startling blue eyes smiled into his own.

'Hello , beautiful' Jack yawned.

'Hello' Ianto's answering smile must have been a bit wobbly because Jack's grin faded and he scrutinised Ianto's face.

'Everything alright?' asked Jack tentatively.

'Thank you for looking after me,' whispered Ianto,

Jack gave him a relieved kiss, 'it was my pleasure,' he told him, 'you are delicious, I couldn't get enough of you.' he hesitated, 'I know you must be freaking out slightly but I really want this thing between us to work so we can take this a slow as you like, you are completely in control...'

'No' interrupted Ianto, 'last night was wonderful. I'll remember it for all of my life but there is no "thing." We can't be together. I don't deserve such happiness.'

Jack frowned, 'you said that last night,' he observed, 'what makes you think that, Yan? What happened to make you hate yourself so much? Tell, me sweetheart, please. Let me help'

Ianto opened his mouth to refuse, to brush off Jack's concern but to his astonishment the story that he had held inside for most of his life came spilling out.