A/N Ok, so I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter. There were a couple of issues with it that I realised upon reading back, but want to get the whole story up first before going back and editing too much, so bear with me. I also have a slight obsession for putting commas EVERYWHERE so I apologise for that! (And I don't have a Beta currently). I'm not going to set a specific update plan, as knowing me I will never stick to it and annoy everyone.
bpov
All I can think is 'shitshitshit' on a constant loop through my head. What am I doing? I'm shoved back suddenly with nearly enough force to knock me off my feet. Jacob is glaring at me with a rage I have never seen before.
"What in God's name do you think you're doing? I'm MARRIED Bella." He holds out his left hand, and indeed there is a thin black tine tattooed there. Oh dear.
"I… I… I don't know what came over me." I'm stuttering and shaking now.
He growls at me. "Listen to me very carefully. Don't contact me; don't do anything to put yourself in my vicinity. I love my wife Bella, and you made your decision a long time ago. You loved him more remember? Well, I love her more. Move on. Now." And with that he jumps into his truck and pulls away, showering me in dry dust. I don't want to move from this very spot. My lips are tingling from his hot mouth. I can't face going back inside to deal with what has just happened. I cannot believe I have caused such a scene at my own father's wedding. Guilt and shame swoop in my stomach leaving a sick sense of foreboding. I don't know what I'm going to do.
jpov
I cannot, cannot believe she just did that. My mind is all over the place and it's all I can do to keep my concentration on the road. I watch the houses fly past instead of dwelling on the situation; at least I'm not seconds from phasing. I like this truck and I dread to think what my wolf would do to the leather interior. Silently thanking the Spirits that Olivia is out of town for the next few days I slow down enough to not draw attention to myself. Returning home in this state would panic her beyond belief. Especially when she finds out it is Bella that is causing me to shiver like this. I hadn't told her that Bella was coming back for the wedding, a white lie on my part. But the jealousy that Olivia feels is something I can't prevent or subdue, no matter how many times I reassure her or hold her close to me and promise I would never do that to her. I love her dammit!
I turn off towards my home, at the opposite end of the rez to where Billy lives and pull up in front of the porch and grip the steering wheel. Before I can stop myself my mind has wandered back to five years ago.
Soft, delicate white shoulders. A wisp of dark hair curled just so. I can almost reach out and brush it away, tuck it behind a tiny ear with a single diamond stud in the lobe. A glance back at me, a coy smile and I'm captivated, lost in liquid brown eyes. My heart pounds and I hear hers quicken too. The girl that I promised to love, I promised I would always stand by, even when she was so determined to rip herself away from me.
And now she is back and still human. I shake my head violently, trying to dispel the thoughts that are slowly creeping back in. Thoughts that I have steadily replaced with images of my wife, with my work, my home. Not Bella. Never Bella. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and scroll down to Olivia's name.
She answers on the second ring and I can't even speak. "Jake? Hello? I'm about to go into a meeting. Is everything ok?" I imagine her tapping her toe in impatience.
"Hi babe, sorry just wanted to see how it's all going…" I trail off.
"Yeah its fine darling, are you ok? How was the wedding? You seem a bit off."
"Mmm, wedding was good. Charlie and Sue are happy so..."
She interrupts me "Jake, darling I really have to go. Can I call you tonight?"
"Of course, I lov…." She's hung up the phone before I can finish my sentence. For some unfathomable reason speaking to her has made me feel ten times worse. I'm fighting the urge to dial Bella's number and screech at her down the phone if only to make myself feel better for a second.
Perhaps I could pretend for a moment that I don't have a wife or Bella and even though there is no passion in my life, at least my heart isn't being pulled in this many directions. I berate myself I am meant to be over Miss Isabella Swan I am married. I am married. I miss her.
bpov
Three weeks later Dad and Sue have returned from their cruise and I am packed and ready to move out of their home. They rushed in the front door, glowing and tanned, thrusting presents into my hands and telling tales of rum cocktails and dancing till 3am and seasickness. I smile in the right places, nod my head encouragingly whilst they look at each other and share secret smiles. I decide I can't get out quick enough and tell them I have a conference call I cannot miss and dive out of the door and into my waiting car.
I sit for a moment before pulling away. It's like Jacob has disappeared off the face of the planet. While I often bump into members of the pack – including Emily, waddling down the street laden with groceries – I have seen neither hide nor hair of him. I have had coffee with Seth and two dinners with Leah, both stubbornly refusing to even mention anything remotely connected to their Alpha. I have stayed up late, writing letters, text messages, emails and then throwing them away or deleting them. I want to apologise but I can't bring myself to make that first step when he so explicitly told me I was not to. I'm imagining running into him and what I would say or do in an almost compulsive manner. Bella Swan has reverted back from strong, independent woman to crazed lust-filled teenager with one look into bottomless black eyes.
Snapping myself back to the here and now I start the engine and begin the half an hour drive to my new apartment. It's a tiny affair above a coffee shop in Port Angeles, but it has a balcony and huge windows in the front so I can't complain. I decide to stop in the local grocery store to stock up on dinner stuffs and wine before I head back. The thought of a cold glass of sauvignon and a good book almost brings me to tears. If I'd have known how happy little things like this would make me with all the stress of Jacob I would have moved back a lot sooner.
I grin at my own joke and pull in.
Jacob's truck is parked out front.
My palms start sweating. Every possibility runs through my mind in 12 seconds. I start to hyperventilate, heaving in heavy breaths and trying to calm myself. The irony is not lost on me, last time I saw him it was Jacob trying to calm himself. I'm stuck in my stupid little car, too afraid to leave and see him and too afraid to not leave, lest I never see his beautiful face again. I wipe my sweaty palms on my shorts and grip the door handle. I can do this.
He steps out of the automatic doors, a vision in a tight black t-shirt and denim shorts. A pair of mirrored aviators hanging at his neck. I can see a slight sheen of moisture on the v of his chest that the t-shirt doesn't cover, holy hell.
Before I know what I'm doing I'm out of the car and at his side. He growls low in his chest.
"Jacob, please. Please just give me a second, please. I'll do anything." He glares at me, continuing his walk to his truck. I follow like the pathetic girl I am. "Jake, please."
He stops, turns and places his shopping on the ground by his feet. "What could you possibly want to say to me Bella? I thought I made myself pretty clear last time."
"I have to talk to you properly, please. I learnt some things when I was living in Alaska, Jake. I really think you'd want to hear it." I'm holding my breath, losing myself in his beautiful eyes. I miss him. I miss everything about him. I realise I am close to tears.
He narrows his eyes at me. "Fine. Fine, anything to get you off my damn back. Meet me at Henry's tomorrow night. 8pm." He has his groceries in his hand and is in his truck before I can even blink. As he pulls away I crouch down to the ground and almost scream with joy. This is my chance. My future is in my own hands now. I just have to get him to listen.