jpov
I pull into my drive and take a moment before heading into the house. I can hear Olivia typing in the tiny wood-panelled office at the back of the house so I know I have a moment to collect my thoughts. It's like everything I have worked towards is coming crashing down around my ears. The thought of losing my wife is inconceivable. But the thought of being able to stay away from Bella for any length of time now she is back is even worse. I feel like I'm being split in two.
"Jake?" Olivia is standing on the door, watching me carefully.
I step out of the truck and walk over to her, pressing my lips to her soft blonde hair and breathing in her scent. "Hi darling, how's your day been?" She peers up at me. I know this look and brace myself.
"It's been… uh … interesting. I had lunch with Emily."
"Oh, how's she doing. She not had the baby yet?" Trying to lighten the conversation is not working. She has a hard set to her mouth and tenses in my arms.
"Well, she's fine. She mentioned that Bella is back. Has been back a few weeks actually. Wondered what my husband had been drinking to make that little bit of information slip his mind."
Shit.
"I'm sorry. I've been a coward about the whole thing. I didn't want to worry you."
"Worry me? What do I have to be worried about Jake?" She steps away from me, and folds her arms across her chest. The look in her eye scares me.
"Nothing. Of course nothing. You know I love you. Please don't make this bigger than it needs to be. There is no issue."
"Well, there wasn't an issue until you lied to me Jacob. I would have thought about it for a couple of days and got over it. But because you've hidden this away like a dirty secret I can't just let it go. Tell me honestly now. Do I have anything to worry about?" She holds my gaze and I can't answer. I can't get the words past my lips. I shake my head.
"Oh my god! You can't even say it can you? I stutter and search for the words I need to say but her patience has worn thin with me now. She pushes me away and holds my gaze. "Jacob, promise me you won't see her. Promise me now."
"I can't promise that, I ran into her this evening on the way home from the meeting. But Livvy, you know I would never hurt you like that. You know that. Look at me." I lean forward and hold her chin gently in my hand and look into her ocean blue eyes. They remind me of the rock pools on Third Beach, especially now as they are glittering with unshed tears. I run my thumb along her jaw and she leans into me.
"I'm scared Jake. I can't lose you."
"You won't, you won't. Don't think like that." I feel a tension growing inside of me, threating to rip through my skin and take me down. I'm lying to myself. I'm still going to see Bella tomorrow. I want to hear what she says, but I can't tell my wife. The woman that loved me enough, I am betraying her and I hate myself.
3 Years Previous
"Jacob Ephraim Black, get out here now and stop being such a little bitch!" Paul is standing at my door, hissing to me as I cover my ears with my comforter and pretend I'm at least three foot smaller. "Jaaaaaake! She's pretty. Come say hi!" He snickers, and I want to punch him in the throat. Repeatedly.
I snarl "Fuck. Off." Paul just laughs and runs into my room, grabs me y the ankles and yanks me firmly out of bed. I land with a violent look in my eyes. "Paul. I am FINE. Go away."
"Billy is telling her stories. You sure you're gonna let him continue?" He cocks his eyebrow at me and watches as I rise up from the floor. "Yeah, I thought not. Come O' Mighty Alpha. Your future awaits." He laughs and I punch him in the nose. Fucking prick.
"Jacob, meet Olivia." My dad is grinning at me like a crazy person, and I finally, finally lay eyes on someone that makes my heart skip a beat and is not Bella.
"Uh. Hey Olivia." She is playing with a strand of blonde hair and smiling up at me. I think my heart rate actually quickens. But no imprint and I don't know whether this is a good thing or not. I see Billy looking at me suspiciously out of the corner of his eye and I shake my head minutely. He looks away.
"Hi Jake, your father has been telling me lots about you." She smiles and I see staright white teeth. She's very pretty.
"Well then I guess I had better set the record straight sooner rather than later hey?" I cock my eyebrow at her – a move that would have had Bella blushing furiously – but Olivia grins wider and reaches into the pocket of her blazer. She holds her hand out towards me.
"Here." In her hand is a slim white business card with her name and 'Assistant Head of La Push High School' written in block letters. I reach out and our fingers brush as I take it. A shot of electricity powers up my arm and I nearly flinch.
"Well, I'll call you then." Do I really have to be arranging a date in front of my dad? She smiles at me though, otherwise unperturbed by our audience. I like her more. She turns towards Billy and holds out her hand. "It was lovely to meet you Chief Black. I look forward to seeing you all a lot more once I've got settled in a little better."
"Anytime Olivia, the school is lucky to have you." Billy wheels his chair towards the door to see her out and opens it for her, she steps out and waves her goodbyes.
Present
bpov
I'm standing, shivering at the entrance to Henry's. It's a little after 8 and Jacob's truck is not out front, I tell myself that it means nothing as he could have run here in a few minutes. I grasp the door handle in front of me and try to steady my nerves. A glass of wine will have a very helpful effect, but I do actually need to step inside for that to happen. I'm continuing to reason with myself when I hear a rumble of an engine behind me. Too scared to turn around in case it is actually him. Dear god, what am I doing?
Ten seconds pass and I am frozen to the spot. A hot hand touches me on the shoulder and I turn slightly and stare into deep, dark eyes.
"Embry. What are you doing here?"
"Hey Bella. Jacob asked me to come." The disappointment is unreal. Embry walks past me and holds the door open, an inviting smile on his face. I try not to frown. "Come on, a drink will do both of us good. We can catch up properly." I follow him into the bar, my boots stick to the fake wood flooring.
Embry leans on the bar and orders himself a beer and I lean forward to order a glass of sauvignon. While we wait for the drinks a thick silence settles over us. I'm trying to hold back whining and demanding to know where Jacob is but I think Embry knows this as a small smile is playing about his lips. We grab our drinks and make our way over to a table in the corner. I set my drink down, clasp my hands together and place my elbows on the table, eyes boring into Embry's.
"So, Emb. Why did Jacob send you?"
He actually looks uncomfortable. "Well, Olivia isn't happy about him seeing you. And well, you know. He does want to hear what you have to say Bella."
"Fair enough, but I really don't want to discuss this with anyone but Jake."
"Bella, as much as this situation is fucked up, I have to stick by what he says. You can't honestly expect him to drop everything and run here? You're asking too much." I want to hate Embry for his words, but I know that I am putting Jacob and everyone in an awful position. But I just can't seem to stop myself. I take a deep breath.
"I know why Jacob hasn't imprinted on me." Embry slops his beer down his front in shock at my words and stares at me.
"Wha- what? How on earth could you know that?"
"While I was in Alaska I met one of the Cullen's' friends. He has the ability to detect powers in vampires. And apparently me as well. He said that if I was turned, I would be a shield of some description – and a powerful one. Hence why certain vampire powers don't work on me now."
"So you're deflecting powers. Oh! Is that why Edward could never read your mind?"
"Exactly." I pause.
"So what does this mean for you Bella?" I realise Embry doesn't understand the gravity of what I'm telling him. I don't think I care.
"I think I can feel this shield already. I've been learning to manipulate it." His eyes widen. He starts to get where I'm going with this. "No. Bella. You can't do this. Think of how it affected Leah when Sam imprinted on Emily. Olivia is Leah in this situation."
"I just want to try." I want him to love me. I need him, I can't do this without him. "I know he still loves me Emb."
"No, he doesn't Bella. He loves his wife."
"No! We're meant to be. I know it."
Embry stands up, furiously glaring at me. "You are not going to ruin two lives, I won't let you."
I stand up, determined not to be intimidated by this man. "You don't have the right to stop me Embry. He may not even imprint. I just want to know once and for all. Then I can move on."
"You can't move on Bella, it's been 6 years and you still can't accept the fact that Jacob has moved on. Got married. Left you behind. Just like you did all those years ago. Now grow up and leave him alone." He storms out, slamming the door open and taking off into the night. I grab my glass of wine and shakily lift it to my mouth, drinking it in one fluid gulp. I don't care. My mind is made up and no one can stop me. I have to see Jacob.
I step back to the bar and order a second drink, downing it as soon as it comes. I hand the bartender some cash and make my way to the door. It's now or never. Two drinks down and this unyielding resolve is powering me forward.
Thankfully I only see Jacob's truck as I pull up to his little house. The front room light is on, spilling a little glow onto the flowerbed in front of the window. My shaking has lessened, but it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if Jake can hear my racing heart from wherever he is in the house. I get out of the truck and slowly make my way under the trellis archway covered in beautiful peach roses and up the steps to the front door. It opens before I even extend my hand to knock.
Jacob stares at me with no surprise on his face, so I know he heard me coming. We say nothing, both tense. I slowly, slowly relax and picture the edges of inside my head as an elastic band. And with exacting precision I picture it coming away, peeling back so gently, exposing my own mind. I stare into Jacob's eyes the whole time. He squeezes his shut.
"Jacob, look at me." He peeks down at me and I feel as though I've been hit by lightning. Jacob crashes to his knees and wraps his arms around my waist, I feel his sobs shake his entire form.