Now I am afraid. Nothing of me is left. There is a shell of where I used to be, but my insides have been excavated and replaced with a steely certainty that I shall never move from this place. That here is my happy ending, even though it will ruin all around us. I like this new place that I have entered, but I can hear dull thoughts at the back of my mind telling me something is wrong, that I have broken something irreversibly. I push them away. The sun is bearing forth on my mind and who I am to tell the spirits that they are wrong? That what they have chosen for me is not right, that I will not accept it and adore it? I am not me anymore and I am afraid.
I slowly become aware of my surroundings and that my arms are gripping the small form in front of me. I feel like I should be angry, but I can't quite grasp exactly why. I struggle to think back to what happened before this but it is easier to just stay here, quietly, breathing in and out and listening to the heartbeat that will rule me from here on out. As long as this heart beats I know I can be happy.
"Jacob." A voice of songbirds and honeysuckle and sunsets. I pull myself away from my safe haven and look up. Into those eyes. They will forever hold me, but I would not want to argue with them. They feel like home.
"Bella. Bells. How?" I am floundering now, my beautiful Bella. She smiles a tiny smile and runs her hands through my hair. Something is niggling at me still and I try to quieten it so I can enjoy this moment.
"I don't know exactly. But this is perfect. This is the way it is meant to be. Jake and Bells, as easy as breathing." She shivers slightly as the words leave her mouth.
"I love you." It feels so right.
"I love you too Jacob. Thank you for completing me." She leans down slightly and presses her lips to mine and I am lost all over again.
bpov
I am glorious in my happiness. I feel like I can climb a mountain and run for miles and fly. The giddy excitement is permeating my bones and I feel invincible. I have everything I always wanted even if at times I didn't know it was what I needed.
Jake stands and picks me up and twirls me around, again and again. I giggle.
"Jake! Let's go back to mine and try and wrap our heads around this a bit. Can you leave?" He looks at me in confusion.
"Of course I can leave. What would stop me?" I stare at him for a few seconds, willing the words to stay in my throat but they do not.
I barely even whisper, but he hears me. Of course. "Olivia?" He freezes in my arms and stares at me. Comprehension dawns over his face and he grimaces.
"Fuck." He stands and shoves me away gently. Without a sound he runs inside the house and I stand waiting for him, dread filling my body silently and completely. I am a home-wrecker and a terrible person. He is back within seconds clutching a framed photo and thrusts it towards me. It is of his wedding day, Olivia is beaming at him like he is her personal sunshine, and the reason her heart is beating. A feeling I know too well.
"What do we do Jacob?"
"You have to go. You have to leave. I'm sorry, this is probably going to kill me but I can't do this to my wife. You know me too well for that Bella, you know me. Don't you?" I can see the absolute agony in his eyes and it tears at my heart. I'm so close though…
"We can make this work Jake, you can't fight an imprint."
"I would have fought it for you."
"But you have me, you don't need to fight anymore! Come on, let's go!" I am tugging at his hand and I can see just how hard it is for him to not bow down to my every command.
"No Bella! Can't you see? You're doing the exact thing that stopped you from ever falling for me in the first place. Or admitting it at least. You're tearing apart a family. How could you do this? Why would you do this? I love you too much and you're killing me." Tears fall from the corners of his eyes and I see what I have done. But I can't let go, I can't give him up.
I reach out and swipe away a drop with my thumb and he leans into my palm, staring at me with huge brown eyes. He backs away, just a minute step, but I know that is enough. Jacob Black is not a man that will allow unnecessary hurt, even at the cost of his own life.
"I wish you hadn't done this Bella. You had no right." He grabs his head in his ahnds and steps further away from me. I can see the physical pain it is causing him to move away. To walk away from his soul's true love. What have I done?
I turn and run.