"More Tea, Pelly my Dear?" I smiled at the dead emperor.
Never mind the stranger in the background who so had barged in out of the Nirn! No, mind the stranger! Oh who cares anyway. Look, Pelly's talking. He's talkiiiiiing. Focus, focus… what is that blasted stranger skulking in the background doi—FOCUS! I stood there smiling as I listened Pelly's rambles. Strange, my mind—minds—thoughts—voices wandered yet I heard it all, knew what he had said.
"Oh, I couldn't," Pelagius the Third refused my offer numbly. "Goes right through me."
Good point, Pelly! He's amusing fellow, isn't he?
"Besides I have many things to do," he continued like ye old good COMPLAINING ASS HE IS! Actually, he's more of those complainers you find in taverns! Wonderful sorts you find in them. "So many undesireables to contend with. Naysayers. Buffoons. Detractors. Why, my headsman hasn't slept in three days!"
Pelly, he's dead—wait! It depends. What time is it? Can't say for sure, I gave a quick glance at Pelly's grey demented mind around the clearing. Dead trees stood in the grey mist with dull shrubberies decorated the wilds. The sky dark and stormy. Impossible to tell the time like this. I've never seen it as something so… linear anyway. Bah, time's overrated.
Focus on Pelly, that irritating part of me wrenched me back to the present. The emperor was staring down on his hands, downcast. Or he might be imagining all the bloods on them. Hah! Poor Pelagius. His madness just made things worse for him. Who wants an eccentric emperor these days, or a dead one on that matter? Mortals! Can't appreciate things these days. Still… they loved him and celebrated a holiday under his name…
"You are far too hard on yourself," I said gently as I smiled benevolently. "My dear, sweet, homicidally insane Pelagius…"
My eyes twitched again, towards the stranger in the background. She had seated herself by my table now, fiddling with her apple pie on her silver plate. How rude… I think the apple pie thought so since its shaking with such anger!
"…What would the people do without ya?" my mouth ran off. "Dance? Sing? Smile?" I gave a short bark as one part of me said that while the other watched the stranger very carefully. "—Grow old?!" I grinned from ear to ear. "You are the best Septim that's ever ruled." Not! But he's famous.
"Well, except for that Martin fellow," I added quickly as old… old memories bubbled up. Strange, this never happened before. "But he turned into a dragon god, and that's hardly sporting." I brushed off.
I really need to visit Martin in Aethurius… I wonder how he's doing? Perhaps Pelly could take an example from me. I was crazy enough to do all the things back then and look where I am! Totally fine! Totally fine!
"You know, I was there for that whole sordid affair. Marvelous time!" I smiled as I recalled. Killing mudcrabs, stabbing Lucien say-waa… Or was it stabbing mudcrabs and killing Lucy? Oh never mind that. Remember those purple… "Butterflies, blood…" I continued good-naturedly. Fun times… fun times.
A demonic ugly red-skin Daedra popped into my mind. Mehrune has an awful fashion sense! He really needs to wear proper clothes.
Movements shifted at the corner of my sight. She slipped the apple pie quickly into her possession with nimble fingers.
Think herself as the Gray Fox, eh? Eh?! A sharp whiff brushed past me. Martin? Old memories suddenly niggled somewhere in the back and this time my head jerked towards the stranger. DIVINE! AKATOSH'S CHILD! Ooh, dragonborn!
"…a Fox," my mind wandered on randomly.
That I can't remember… actually I remember. It's just I remember other versions of me. Plenty of them actually. Was I a woman, man, imperial, dunmer? Doesn't matter as all did the same one way or another even if the path was different or done in a different order… or entirely ignored. All is me and what I've done is what they've done. If they did this, I did this. So if one part did not, they still did it because THEY are ME!
"A severed head. HohohoHO!" I chuckled partly at my thoughts, and partly at the memory brought up. The scattered part at least drew back together—well some…or most of it just for the coming thought. "…Oh, and the CHEESE! To die for!" I grinned and sighed.
"Yes, yes, as you've said," Pelly's voice drawled patronizingly. I stared at the bored look on the emperor's face. Pelly doesn't really look that excited, really.
Maybe I should rip his intestine out and use it as a skipping rope. Love to see the look on his face as I do that in front of him! Hah!
"…countless time before," he drawled.
I raised an eyebrow at the bored emperor slouched on the chair. Ungrateful, aren't we? Fine… Fine! FINE! FineFineFineFINE!
"Hafrumph! Well then," I crooned. "If you're going to be like that," I said slowly. "Perhaps it's best I take my leave…" I am after all on a holiday.
My eyes sharply zoned onto the female stranger on my right all of a sudden. Now far too close to my liking when she eyed the heap of cheese nearby. Akatosh's child has fingers where they shouldn't belong, especially on my cheese. MY CHEESE! She quickly snatched it and it disappeared in oblivion knows where. THIEF!
"A good day to you sir. I SAID GOOD DAY!" I snarled at Pelly before focusing all of me on the only guest in my grace.
"Yes, yes, go. Leave me to my ceaseless responsibility and burdens," Pelly mourned in the background before disappearing with a burst of purple vortex.
As if sensing the grace… or madness, the female stranger spun around to face me in wide eye. A small 'eep!' escaped her lips. Mousy for a Nordic and for one who's a dragon in mortal flesh.
I narrowed my white eyes on her. She backed away very slowly and seated herself down on one of the dining chair under my glare. It's no fair she should suffer my wrath since it was Pelly who just soured me. I rested my hands on my hips.
"How rude!' I snapped finally. "Can't be bothered to host an old friend for a decade or two." Really, Pelly. As a madman, I expected him to be happy to have me here. But that's mortal for you!
"Wait," a small quiet voice escaped from somewhere in front. I looked at the dragonborn and waited politely. "Where… are we?" she asked slowly.
"Inside the mind of Pelagius, silly," I told her. It's pretty obvious, isn't it!
I thought dragons have a good sense of direction. Guess being here must have confused her. Hah, that's a good joke. What did the last dragonborn said at a tea party? I'm the lost dragonborn! Hah, hahahaha!
The look on her face was of confusion with big blue eyes bewildered.
"Oh." I know that face. I KNOW that face! That's my face! Ho, so this is what I looked like when I met me. Haha. Must be hard for her. It was certainly hard for me. I got the whole shebang of Shivering Isles shoved down my throat. She only got a piece that's Pelagius, which is small compared to the whole lot! "…Is it your…" I said it gently, "first time?" I inquired with a soft smile.
More confusion flashed over her face. Now that I think of it. I think I've made it sound something awkward and wrong, just plain wrong. I wanted to snicker. Me and my foolish thoughts!
"Who were you talking to?" she asked, hesitatingly.
"Pelagius, the Third," I answered simply. "Now, surely even you know about Pelagius' decree?" From the blank look I'm getting, I think not. "On his deathbed," I begin my voice somber as all storyteller tended to do. "Oh, and this was inspired," I added quickly with a grin. "He forebade… DEATH!" I shouted.
She jumped at my sudden ferocity.
"That's right! Death! Outlawed!" I slammed the dinner table with my palm as I laughed crazily. How ironic. I was denied of that when my body changed back due to the Oblivion's magic.
Silence escaped from the dragonborn. She stared at me, as if realizing something. Oh they are always silent before asking for something.
"I'm here to deliver a message," she blurted.
I raised my eyebrows. "Reeaaaallllyyy?" I stared at her.
It's been a long time. Wonder who? Forget the who. "Ooh, ooh! What kind of message?" I asked excitedly. "A song?" They're nice. Unfortunately, Pelly wasn't a big fan of it. So I've been sitting here listening to the horrid boring dull tunes of silence.
My thought brightened as I guessed another, "A summon?" More fun with the mortals. They're so gullible. Or… "Wait!" I snapped, causing her to jump again.
"Ah, I know!" My arm crossed and my voice deepened darkly, "A death threat." I glared at her. Her face paled and she opened her mouth to protest. "—written on the back of an Argonian concubine!" I added quickly and burst into laughter.
It warms my shriveled old heart at the thought of Malacath and Mehrune's effort to scare me. Those two! So expected of them, especially Dagon. Still soured at his defeat 200 years ago. I laughed more before looking back at the dragonborn. She stared at me with her priceless face.
"Those are my favorite," I explained calmly.
She said nothing, just kept on staring in wide eye and I frowned deeply.
"Well?" I growled. "Spit it out, mortal," I snapped. "I haven't got an eternity!" Wait—I paused. "Actually… I do," I said in wonder and smiled helplessly, ignoring the look of nervous and fidgeting fingers from her. "Little joke," I grinned to her. "But seriously," I focused back. "What's the message?" I asked normally this time.
"I think I made a mistake coming here…" her quiet voice so low that I had to crane my ears.
Ah the doubt. Always the doubt. "Oh, no, no, no! NO mistake at all. What you made…" I stared at the dragonborn who was doing the same, quietly.
How can a stare be so quiet? Her thoughts are practically streaming out of her eyes like the trickles from a broken fountain, and trickles can scream very loud...
She's definitely a fledgeling without wings but she'll fly, "…was a choice," I finished as the memories of Uriel Septim popped into my mind.
I could've refused him, but I didn't. Strange, isn't it? These callings. I suppose it's the same calling that brought her here. But… "Granted, not a very wise choice, but these things happen." I laughed as I mused, "Ah, the folly of youth…"
The dragonborn did the unexpected. Her face suddenly darkened with a bitter look on her face. Oh… I know that look. No sane mind would've accepted the fate of being the hero of the ages. That's why Akatosh gave no memories before the calling. A coy dragon who knows ties are anchors that weighed heroes down. I had nothing, what else was I suppose to do back then?
And what's with the memories bubbling up! So what. She's dragonborn! Just another hero with destinies wringing her neck, but a small pity niggled in me. As the hero of Kvatch—I've… seen many thing. And she will to and it will be a test to her sanity. And the Princes are not helping either.
They're, as always, playing the betting game on who's turn to have a go on the hero. All wrestling to pull the destiny's strings chained on her. One day she's going to get her limbs ripped off from all those pulling. Good thing I gave all my strings to myself only.
"You know, you remind me of myself at a young age," I said in reminisce.
The dragonborn just blinked. No, don't tell her. She already heard the clues. Better not give her more.
"All I cared about was riding narwhales and sleeping in honeycombs and drinking baby tears," I grimaced at the last part.
It wasn't really as sweet as the stories tells. But the things I had to do for those quests, and some just plain ridiculous than the lies I'd told to the Daedric princes.
I smiled dreamily and focused back. "Word of advice. If you ride a Narwhale. Mind the pointy end," I told her seriously, ignoring the look of outright disbelief in her eyes. "Ah, but there I go, waxing poetic about my misspent youth. Now where were we?" I paused as my eyes narrowed on my racing thoughts. I laughed as I captured my thoughts again. "Yes! You're the mortal messenger. And I am…?" I smiled in waiting.
Martin never used my name—names! So many of them. Some hardly pronounceable. Some hardly made sense. But like many others, Martin never used it. He only called me as, 'my friend'.
A creased formed between my eyebrows. Always with Martin this, and Martin that. Sure the dragonborn may emit a far stronger aura than the blood Martin had in his once living body. But let's see if she can beat her predecessor's feat.
She's no Martin for sure, after all… I can sense Molag Bal, Nocturnal, Azura, Sanguine, even Sithis' claim on he—wait, it might be Mephala. And knowing these deities since I partied with them, I'm pretty sure she had to do some indecent deeds. No Martin definitely so let's not give her the wrong idea.
Still, I gave her all the clues. I waited patiently as she fidgeted under my stare.
"Honestly. Have you any idea?" I said slyly. The ignorance of mortals is amazing. They can feel it, but they can never connect their feelings to what's in their noggin of theirs. Let's see if a dragon can beat them at this. I heard their intelligence surpasses those of mortals.
"You're a madman," she said quietly as she stared at me.
"Jolly good guess." I smiled as I narrowed my white eyes on her.
Oh yes, she can feel the madness in the air. Cold, and subtle… grates against the skin as it breathes behind the neck. A companion that can be cruel as it claws the senses too much that it frustrates the unwary into madness. Pelagius had always been the paranoid sort.
"BUT only half right!" I corrected her and she flinched. "I'm a mad god. The Mad God, actually," I said as I recalled. I'm the only one who's willing to claim the mad title. Huh. "It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years," I told her. "Now you. You can call me Ann Marie."
I grinned as her face turned incredulously. Mine darkened when I burst, "But only if you're partial to being FLAYED ALIVE and having an angry immortal skip rope with your entrails!" I glowered down on her. I've never liked people calling me by my past names anyway.
"That would be you, I guess," she murmured quietly.
Unlike any mortal, she didn't shrink in her chair. She stared back! Her eyes flashed into ones belonging to a dragon. HoHO! So that's the dragon! And with an attitude. Oho! I smiled as I tilted my head.
"If not…" I shifted onto my other foot. "Then call me Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Charmed." I flashed a smile.
The dragon disappeared all of a sudden, leaving a Nordic mortal blushing and fiddling the hilts of her weapon. An odd match with the fancy clothes she's wearing. She probably had known, but it's different when hearing the definite coming out the living breathing facts.
"So does that mean you'll leave? Or not?" she blurted.
"Now that's a real question isn't it?" I thought about it. "Because, honestly," I wondered, "how much time off could a demented Daedra really need?"
I had originally guessed seconds since madness is unpredictable little bastard, but I've been spending a decade or two already in Pelagius mind. Procrastinating, I've been procrastinating. I wanted to laugh. I'd even procrastinate when the Greymarch was on the way.
"But more to the point," I pursed as I focused back. "Do you, tiny," she frowned, "expandable little mortal—actually think," I stared with my narrowed eyes on her, "you can convince me to leave?" I said darkly. "Because that's… crazy!" I grinned.
"So," I said sharply, getting her attention when she straightened.
Oh, she senses a quest coming. How nice.
"Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to leave," I said simply, and she blinked in disbelief. "That's right. I'm done. Holiday… complete!" I snarled, causing her to wince. "Time to return to the hum drum day-to-day," I told her simply and paused before my tone turned serious. "On one condition." I smirked.
Her face broke. Hahahaha! I must have looked like that when Sanguine told me to do a service for him. No wonder that spell worked on me also. I still need to get him for that. Oh, I know! That Frat Boy will learn the whole new meaning of hangover.
I smiled nastily. "You have to find a way out first. Good luck with that." I smirked as I watched the gears working behind those icy blue eyes.
"Okay, what's the catch," she said, her eyes focused.
"Ha!" I grinned. "I do love it when the mortals know they're being manipulated. Makes things infinitely more interesting." I waved my hand at the bleak grey clearing we're in. "Care to take a look around? This is not, I dare say, Solitude botanical gardens. Have you any idea where you are? Where you truly are?!" I challenged her. The dragonborn just cringed at me. Oh this is the good part, I smiled at her sweetly. "Welcome! To the deceptively verdant mind of the emperor! Pelagius... the Third!" I grinned.
Her eyes widen. Haha! She thought it was just a random guy named Pelagius!
"That's right!" I rubbed it in. "You're in the head of a dead, homicidally insane monarch! Hahahaha!" I laughed.
There was a panic look on her face. She was way out of her familiar water here. But I'm no mean spirit here. I'm the Daedric Prince of Madness! Not vengeful ghost!
"Now, I know what you're thinking," I said soothingly and she looked back up at the sound of my calm voice. "Can I still rely on my swords and spells and sneaking and all that nonsense? Sure, sure." I nodded and relief rushed across her face. Of course, she would be relieved. Everyone would panic if they found themselves wearing fancy clothes and attending tea party in gods know where.
"Or… you could use," I paused and she tensed. "THE WABBAJACK!" She jumped and I chortled, "Huh. Huuuh! Didn't see that coming, did ya?" I grinned ear to ear.
Most fun toy of them all! It's been lonely anyway. Meant to be used for mass havoc and not as my cane. I don't need a cane anyway, stopped using it for a while. But it's here… somewhere around, I frowned as I place my hand into the air, groping through the void. The familiar warmth of an old friend sparked the tip of my fingers. Oh there we go.
I pulled it out and threw it straight at the dragonborn. She yelped but her hands snatched the flying staff securely. The dragonborn sat there for a while. She stared at the staff and admired the yawning holes that reminisces the mouths of screaming faces. It used to be steel, but I thought it was cold and boring. Now she can look the face of those in agony when she's bored. Hahaha!
I immediately seated myself down on my cold hard throne. Bleh. I really should bring cushions next time. Now here's my cue to watch, I smiled and motioned the dragonborn to go.
The days of my doing has past. Let's see if she could do it better than me. Probably not if she's the one to follow logic. Hmm, I'll need to concentrate if I'm to guide her without driving her mad. Making contact using the mind, especially with a psyche that I have, is not something trivial.
I stared into the distant. The air too quiet and the candlelight's hardly melted away Pelagius' demented thoughts.
"Um…" she stood suddenly on my right, looking down on me hesitatingly.
I looked up with a raised eyebrow. "Do you mind, I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!" Damn right it is!
Pelagius mind is calm due to my presence. She should have known that. If I wasn't here to stable the storm, nothing would make sense or at all manageable! Why else would people go mad just from entering the haunted palace's wing. I stared at her with my white eyes and she slowly retreated under my glare. She turned around and quickly ran off under one of those stone arches that littered around Skyrim. Oh… she's taken the path of dreams.