Anna awoke with a start, sweat beading up on her skin and trickling between her breasts. Her breathing was shallow and semi-frantic as she searched the sheets beside her, absolutely certain that Kristoff had just been there. When her search revealed nothing but cool sheets and an obvious lack of anyone but her, a hysterical sob cut through her chest, echoing loudly in the empty room.
She hadn't imagined it was going to be this hard.
Every night since she had been back home, she had found herself dreaming of Kristoff. When she was able to sleep that is. Most nights she lay awake for hours, trying to imagine his strong and comforting arms around her. She pictured herself back in the cottage, one of her legs draped over his as she listened to the steady sound of his heartbeat. Even then, the tears still managed to come. She wondered how long he would have this hold on heart.
Tonight's dream had been the hardest to wake up from by far. Usually her dreams centered around curling up with him on the couch, or cooking with him and being fed bits of whatever she was craving. Tonight they had been making love, their bodies moving slowly together toward a mutual release. After they lay spent in each others arms, Kristoff had pressed his hand against her newly forming baby bump, wonder and love in his eyes. He hadn't spoken aloud, but his eyes had said volumes. He loved her enough that it didn't matter if the baby was his. All he wanted was a life with her.
She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. If only her dream was a reality… if only everything she had dreamed was possible. But how could it be? Kristoff wouldn't want her if she knew she was pregnant. It had been a fling, just a simple vacation romance. Dammit, if that was true why couldn't she get him out of her mind? Why did every waking and sleeping thought revolve around him? Why did she look at his phone number a dozen times a day and wonder if she was wrong and he would be understanding?
Her eyes fell on the phone resting on top of her bedside table and she felt her breath catch in her throat. The desire to call him was overwhelming, but she fought it back. If she called him, if they started a real relationship and he ended up rejecting her, she wasn't sure she could handle it. Why hadn't she met him before Hans? Why had things worked out this way? It just wasn't fair to have found Kristoff, a man she could actually see herself making a life with, and not be able to keep him. She had no right to ruin his life with the truth. She was strong enough to raise the baby by herself, but she didn't think she had the strength to find out if he was willing to take the journey with her.
With a quick peek at her alarm clock, Anna sighed and rolled out of bed. Four in the morning wasn't exactly ideal, but there was no way she was going to get back to sleep now. She might as well paint her emotions onto a canvas. It would help her get over him.
Yeah… as if that was really possible.