A/N
Thank you to those who have commented on this story so far. I'm honoured that some of you remember me from the old L Word site from so long ago, thank you so much for continuing to read :)
The gang had gathered at the Planet for their weekly breakfast. They all had busy lives and couldn't always get together socially, but they made sure to attend their Friday breakfasts before work so as to catch up on the goings on of the past week. Well, mainly for Alice to make sure that she wasn't missing out on any gossip.
Bette had brought Angie with her that morning, and was due to hand her over to Tina for the weekend. The little girl was sitting on her lap, munching contently on the plate of fruit infront of her. Every so often the older Porter would reach over her daughters shoulder and steal a piece of orange.
"Momma!" the little girl scolded.
"Me?" Bette made her eyes big, attempting to look innocent.
"Porter are you stealing off your own daughter?" Alice asked incredulously.
Tina looked on with a smile on her face, loving the interraction between the two most important girls in her life, but also having to admit that she enjoyed watching Bette squirm under Alice's interrogation.
"Yes, she always steals my favourite bits!" Angie pouted and folded her arms.
"Tattle tale!" retorted Bette.
"Momma you can have the lemon, I don't like it"
"It's melon sweetie" Bette explained.
"I don't like lemon"
"How about you give Momma T a bit of your melon? I know it's her favourite"
Bette looked across the table at Tina and their eyes met. Everything around them disappeared and neither of them could breathe. It was as though the intensity of the stare was heightened by the fact that they were surrounded by other people.
Unfortunately for Tina, her daughter was intent on breaking her moment with her other mother. She was roused from her eye lock with Bette by a piece of melon hitting her square on the forehead.
"Angelica Kennard Porter, you apologise to your Momma right now!" Bette reprimanded the little girl.
"I'm sorry Momma" Angelica looked down at her lap "I was trying to share"
"It's ok kiddo, sharing is good, but next time pass it to me ok?" the blonde replied.
"Ok" Angelica nodded.
"So where's Jodi, Bette?" Alice piped up.
"Umm…she's really busy at the moment, when she's wrapped up in a project nothing can tear her away from it" the brunette stammered, unable to look at the blonde across the table from her.
"Is everything ok with you two?" Shane asked her friend.
"Yeah, everything's fine" Bette replied, still unable to meet Tina's gaze.
The blonde wasn't prepared to sit there and listen to any further details of Bette's happy relationship with Jodi, so she got up without saying a word and went to the bathroom.
Seeing Tina disappear into the bathroom, the brunette didn't care in that moment what others thought.
"Angie can you go and see your Auntie Shane for a moment?"
"Whyyyyy?" whined the little girl.
"Because I asked you to. I think Auntie Shane would like an Angie cuddle"
"Come here kid" Shane motioned to Angie.
The little girl jumped off her mother's lap and happily skipped over to Shane, clambering on her. Bette smiled gratefully at her friend and followed the blonde into the bathroom.
"T, are you in here?" she called out.
"Yeah" replied the blonde, coming out from one of the stalls.
Bette checked the other stalls to make sure that they were alone. The last thing she needed was any of her conversations with Tina getting fed back to Alice somehow.
"Are you ok?" the brunette asked, placing a hand on the blondes arm.
"I'm fine"
"T, please don't lie to me"
"What do you want me to say Bette?"
"I want you to tell me the truth"
"And are you telling yourself the truth?" the blonde retorted, looking up to meet Bette's gaze for the first time in the bathroom.
The brunette swallowed "What do you mean?"
"What is it that you want Bette? Do you even know?"
A tear trickled down the blondes cheek before she had a chance to stop it. Bette reached out and wiped the tear away, letting her hand cup the blondes cheek.
"Bette…" Tina breathed, shaking her head.
The brunette pulled her into her arms, and in that moment Tina couldn't fight it. She just let herself be wrapped up in Bette's embrace and felt the tears flow freely from her eyes.
"I love you" Bette whispered "I do know that"
The blonde lifted her head and their noses brushed, their eyes fixed intently on one another.
"Please don't hurt me" Tina begged softly.
Knowing the best way to answer the blonde, Bette leant in and kissed her softly. It was a kiss full of promise, full of love.
"You ready to go back out there?"
"Yeah, just give me a sec" Tina leant over the sink and dabbed her face with cold water, hoping to conceal her tear stained cheeks.
The two smiled at each other and squeezed one anothers hands before seperating and exiting the bathroom.
Bette made her way round to her daughter who was being bounced up and down on Shane's knee. She scooped up the little girl into her arms and spun her around.
"Bette, don't, she'll be sick!" warned Tina.
"You wouldn't be sick on me, would you Angie?"
The little girl nodded enthusiastically and everyone laughed.
"Right I think it's time to get you to nursery little one" said Tina, getting her laughter under control.
"I'd best be off as well, so do you want to come and get her things from my car on the way out?" Bette asked.
"Yeah, sounds good"
The three said their goodbyes and made their way out to Bette's Saab. She unlocked the door and got out a bag of Angelica's belongings, handing them over to Tina.
"I swear, every week she seems to have more stuff" Tina complained.
Bette shrugged her shoulders.
"Right sweetie, say bye to your Momma" the blonde instructed her daughter.
"Bye Momma!" Angie called out.
"T…" Bette wrung her hands "do you think I could see you this weekend?"
"I dunno…." she turned to her daughter "Angie, what do you think? Should we invite your Momma for dinner tomorrow?"
Angelica folded her arms and scrunched up her eyebrows, appearing to be deep in thought "Only if she doesn't steal my dinner!"
The blonde chuckled at the indignant look on Bette's face.
"I'll have to steal off your Momma T instead" the brunette retorted, mirroring her daughters stance.
All three of them were giggling as the two women stepped closer together. Bette ruffled her daughters hair and kissed her on the top of her head before turning to the blonde. She leant in and kissed her softly on the cheek, her lips lingering for a few seconds longer than they would with anyone else.
"I'll see you both tomorrow"
It had been a long day at work and Bette was glad to finally get home and put her feet up. She took out her trusty bottle of Scotch and made her way out to the garden, settling herself on a chair by the pool. It was a warm night and she enjoyed the tranquility that being in the garden brought.
She took a sip of her Scotch and as the ice clinked against the side of the glass her thoughts turned to Tina. She had surprised herself with her confession in the bathroom earlier that day. It wasn't that she didn't mean it, there was no doubt in her mind that she loved the blonde. But she couldn't quite believe that she'd said it out loud.
The whole situation was a mess and she never intended it to happen this way. When she'd kissed Tina a week ago it had been instinctive. She'd always thought about the blonde, but never realised quite how intense her feelings were until that moment. It was as if she came undone the moment that the blonde returned her kiss.
"Hey" came a familiar voice from the adjacent garden.
The brunette looked up and smiled as Shane came into view.
She held up the bottle of Scotch "You fancy joining me?"
"I'd love to"
"Come on over, the doors unlocked"
A few moments later Shane had joined the brunette, and they clinked glasses before both taking a long sip of the amber liquid, enjoying the warm burn that it brought to the throat.
"Is everything ok with you?" Shane asked after several minutes of comfortable silence.
"Honestly?" Bette battled internally with what to tell her friend "No"
"Does this have something to do with Tina?"
Bette furrowed her brow "What makes you ask that?"
The skinnier women shrugged "She seemed pretty upset today, and I dunno, it seems like there's been some kind of tension between you guys recently"
Bette had to laugh at her friends intuition "You could say that. Shane, if I tell you something, it stays between us, right?"
"That goes without saying"
"I…I'm in love with Tina"
"No shit"
"Are you not even in the least bit shocked?"
Shane smiled "I think I've known for longer than you have yourself. It was just a matter of when you came to realise it. What you two have….that was never going to go away, no matter how hard you both tried"
"Shane…we've been having an affair"
Finally, a piece of information that wasn't expected by the younger woman "Well fuck me!"
Bette laughed "If it's all the same to you, I'd rather fuck Tina"
"So…how long has it been going on?"
"Just this past week. I kissed her at the SheBar opening" Bette confessed.
"Bette…just promise me this isn't all because you're jealous of Tina and Brenda"
"No, no, well yes I was jealous, but this is so much more than that. This is way beyond sex, it goes deeper than anything I've ever had with anyone else. Noone else even comes close to her"
The younger woman sighed in relief. For her part, she wasn't willing to sit by and watch her closest friends tear each other apart again "And how does Tina feel?"
"We haven't really talked about it…"
"Bette…"
"I know, I know. It's just everytime I see her, I can't control myself"
"Are you not worried that maybe she thinks this is just about sex for you? After all you're the one with the girlfriend, and as far as everyone knows, you're still with her"
"I told her I loved her today"
"Well that's a start. But what about Jodi?"
Bette just looked down at her glass.
"Bette, you are going to leave her aren't you?"
"I'm just so scared. I put all of this pressure onto Jodi to be in an exclusive relationship with me when she doesn't really believe in monogamy. And believe me, she has a temper on her. And more than that, I'm afraid of being a failure. Here she goes again, Bette Porter ruining another relationship. I'm cheating again, only this time it's with Tina instead of on her. What if that's just who I am?"
"You don't think I know that feeling? Don't blow your chance with Tina like I did with Carmen. Answer me this, who do you want to be with?"
"Tina" Bette responded immediately.
"Then be with her Bette, it really is that simple"
"I just don't think I could live with myself if I hurt her again"
"And you don't think she's hurting right now? As far as she's concerned you're still with Jodi and have no intention of leaving her. You don't think it hurts her to imagine that after you've shared her bed you're going straight back to your girlfriend?"
"But I'm not, I haven't been with Jodi like that since this whole affair started. It sounds crazy, but I'd feel like I was cheating on Tina"
"But does Tina know that?"
Bette shook her head "I guess not. But what if I screw this up Shane? And it's not just me and T to think about, there's Angie as well"
"Only you can control that, Bette. Forget about what you've done in the past, this is your chance to put things right. If you don't want to hurt her again, don't! If you truly love her, then you have it in you to make it work"
"I do Shane, I love her with everything that I am"
"Then there's your answer. Make it work"