Author's Note: A special thank you to awakedead0 for letting me know I uploaded the wrong chapter last time for Chapter 2. *faceplant*
Also special thanks to Amy Hunt for being the first to favorite the story and to Canucklehead Cowgirl, Wynterheart, and Beezzi following.
Beezzi: I'm glad you can appreciate where Jubilee is. We're still a little dark in this chapter, but we should be seeing fleeting glimpses of her old self as we move forward. It's rough to be an immortal stuck in a seventeen year old body when you're seeing all of your friends getting older and older….
Chapter 3
When Logan woke the next afternoon, he pushed himself into a sitting position on the couch. Rubbing at his face, he grimaced. His sleep schedule was getting confused since he was spending his nights up with Jubilee. He pushed himself off the couch and began making coffee. It happened each time she came, and it was hell on his system, but he figured it was worth it in the long run. Besides, things were going to be different this time. As he dumped the water into the top of the machine, he grinned. Besides, why should he be the only one suffering. He went to the bedroom and pounded on the door, yelling out, "If yer gonna join the world of the livin', you better start thinking about getting up while the sun's still out."
He laughed when he heard something heavy hit the other side of the door in response. "Coffee's on," he yelled before turning back to the kitchen to pop a couple pieces of bread into the toaster. He was buttering it when the bedroom door opened and a tired-looking vampire girl walked out.
"I hate you," was all she said as she slumped into one of the chairs at the table. Figuring that this was already improvement (she'd bothered to speak to him this morning, even if she didn't have anything nice to say), he just laughed and offered her one of the pieces of toast. She shook her head as she explained, "I'm hungry, but bread's not goin' to help with that."
He grunted. "You want it in a cup or from the source."
"I'm going to need the cup for coffee," she grumbled, so he walked over to the table and offered her his arm. He stood next to her, ignoring the sharp pain as she bit into his wrist. He watched the steady drip of the coffee into the pot, still eating his toast, while he waited for her to finish. When he felt her lick his pulse point clean, he went back over to pull two coffee cups out of the cabinet.
"Lots of cream and sugar," she mumbled as she rested her head on her folded arms on the table.
He poured his own cup of coffee black and doctored hers until it was tan colored. He set it on the table in front of her and kicked at her chair, "Get up and move around."
She glared at him as she pushed herself into a standing position. Taking a drink of the warm liquid, she commented, "You sure are bossy in the morning."
He grunted. "You haven't seen me 'in the morning' for years, sweetheart," he pointed out as he started stoking the fire.
She made a face at his back but started pacing around the room. It did help to move around. It was hard to force herself awake while the sun was up, and the added sluggishness of digesting his healing-factor-infused blood made her want to just crawl back into bed, but she knew he was right. Moving was the only way to shake off the tiredness. That didn't mean she had to like it or be gracious about it. As she paced, she complained, "I'm going to turn forty years old next week, you know that right? I'm not a teenage kid anymore, so don't treat me like one."
He looked at her over the rim of his cup. He was lounging in one of the arm chairs, watching her roam around the room, "You sure act like a teenager when it comes to gettin' outta bed."
"So do a lot of people."
"Yeah. Lotsa teenagers."
She shot a glare in his direction as she finished her coffee and went to the counter to pour more. "How much cream and sugar did you put in here?"
He shrugged. "I eyeballed it."
She huffed out a frustrated breath and started attempting to mix it herself. He set his own empty cup on the counter and peered over her shoulder. "Needs more milk," he commented before he turned to head toward the bedroom and the bathroom, ignoring the spoon that bounced off his back as he walked away.
By the time she followed him into the little room, he had filled the basin with warm water and lathered his face with soap. He was carefully dragging one claw along the left side of his bearded face when he heard her come up behind him. He could tell she was watching him in the mirror, even if he couldn't see her there.
"Whatcha shaving for?" she asked.
"Gotta go into town tomorrow morning to get some supplies and I'd rather not scare anyone," he explained as he swished his blade in the sink and began scraping it along his jaw again.
"Can I go with you? If you juice me up pretty well, I should be okay if we're not there for too long. I'm gettin' kinda tired of wearing your hand-me-down sweats. Some new clothes wouldn't be a bad idea."
He grunted and pulled his upper lip between his teeth as he worked on clearing that area. When he finished, his eyes flickered to where she would be in the mirror if she could cast an image. "I think we better wait on that. It's at least an hour's drive, so getting there when stuff is open and getting you back before you're extra crispy would be tough. Better to wait for the medallion for that. I can get stuff for you if you make a list though."
"I guess," she mumbled as she walked past him to perch on the edge of the tub. She stared down at her hands and mumbled, "I'll figure out what clothes I need. Some sunglasses would be nice, too, I guess."
He grunted in response and continued to shave. Jubilee continued to stare at her hands, twisting them together in her lap. After a few moments, she asked, "How do you deal with it?"
He glanced at her, but continued what he was doing, "Deal with what?"
She sighed, curling her fingers into fists. "This. Being immortal. Not ever changing."
He shrugged. "We change. It'd be nice if we didn't. I wouldn't have to waste my time doing this," he grumbled as he swished his claw in the water again.
She huffed out a frustrated breath before she snapped, "That's easy for you to say. At least you look like an adult. I'm forever stuck in the body of a seventeen-year-old!"
He paused in what he was doing to turn and look at her, his neck still covered in lather. He took a moment to study her angry expression, and then ran his eyes over her whole figure. Leaning one hip against the sink, he retracted the adamantium blade and crossed his arms across his chest. He took his time before replying, knowing her well enough to wait out the temper.
After glaring at him for a few minutes, she heaved another frustrated breath and pressed her hands firmly on the tub on either side of her, leaning forward to stare down at the tile between her bare feet.
He turned back to the sink to continue what he had been doing as he said, "I'd say you don't hafta look seventeen if ya don't want to." He ran the blade down one side of his throat before he continued, "Kitty is in her early forties, but she could look seventeen with the right makeup and clothes. The same is probably true for you if you want to look older. You just need to look at yourself a little different. Do something with yourself." He paused to glance over at her, "I guess clothes are a good start, but the reason you look so damn young is because you don't take care of yourself."
She scowled at the tiles on the floor, considering his words. She had long ago given up caring how she looked. Sighing, she said, "I guess you'll have to get me some makeup and shit too, then." When he only shrugged, she sighed and sat up straight again, watching as he finished, dried his claw, and wiped out the sink. "It's more than that though." She paused as he applied aftershave and washed and dried his hands. He turned to face her again, resting one hip against the sink. She rubbed her hands over her face. "Everyone else is getting older…" she trailed off.
He made a soft sound and nodded as her realized what she was getting at, "…and we ain't aging while they are." When she nodded, biting her bottom lip, he pressed his own lips together as he searched for the right words to say to comfort her, to reassure her. Rubbing one hand on the back of his neck as he leaned back against the door frame, he explained, "It's really tough, the first time. Hell, it's tough every time you lose someone you care about. But that's not the point. It's gonna happen whether you die at 45 or 145. You gotta switch how you're thinking about it. " He paused again and met her intense gaze. "You hafta focus on the positive, on what you can learn from each person you meet, on the good times that you have together."
She shook her head, "That is just touchy-feely bullshit. I don't see the point in wasting the time. It's wasted energy. If I didn't care, it wouldn't hurt. In the end, everyone dies. And I don't. So what if I learn? So what if I have good memories? The simple truth is that they're gone, and I'm a freak who keeps on living and never changes."
He sighed and moved to squat down in front of her so that they were on eye level. "So what?" he asked her. She blinked, confused. "So what?" he repeated, "That's all true. Everybody around us is goin' to die before we do. We don't know if we'll ever die or if we'll just be stuck here forever. So what?"
She pressed her lips together and could feel her eyes burning as she felt the urge to cry in frustration. "That's what I don't know."
He took her hands in his. "And you think I can give you the answer?" When she just sighed in response, he squeezed her hands. "All I can tell ya is that you need to find a reason. Why do you think I was part of the X Men? And the Jean Grey School? Those were my reasons, you kids were my reasons."
She swallowed, "But so many of the people we cared about are already gone. It sucked, but it was bearable when it was in the line of duty. But now, when they're gone it'll just be because they got old. And I can't do anything to stop it."
He chuckled. "Yeah, but at least they are all livin' their lives now. Havin' families, and through those families, they'll live on forever."
She stared down at their joined hands and watched as his thumbs rubbed lightly over her knuckles. She nodded mutely.
Quietly, he asked, "Is that why you came back? Because you think everyone is gonna die before you can fix things?"
She blinked up at him in surprise, shaking her head and opening her mouth to deny it, but she stopped before speaking. She sighed and bowed her head again, lost in thought. He waited for her patiently, turning her hands over to run a finger over her palms. "Maybe," she whispered when she finally spoke, "I don't know. I didn't even know what I was doing until I was halfway here. I hadn't completely made up my mind before I walked back inside last night."
He nodded and stood, pulling her to her feet with him. He wrapped his arms around her and carefully pulled her against his chest. Jubilee stood stiffly for a moment, overwhelmed by the sensation of being touched, but relaxed after a moment and rested her head against him. He lifted one hand to rub the back of her neck and promised, "That's okay. We'll figure it out together."